Esse Quam Videri

Ang hirap kase mag open ng convo. Bukod sa english e ang bilis pa magsalita. Lol. Minsan para kong tanga, i look stupid by not answering kase diko naintindihan haha. Diko naintindihan kase he talks so fast or talagang sabaw ako haha.There was a lot of dead air and some asaran. I hate that he keeps saying that I’m panget, like duh? Mas maganda pa nga ko sa Ex nya, i mean she’s not even pretty to begin with. Lol. Panget daw, kaya pala hindi nya ko maresist. 😆✌🏻

But seriously, it was good seeing him again. Ang hirap. He’ll be forever in my life na kase he’s the father of my child. Pft.

I don’t know exactly what to say to you or how. All i know is that I’ve been thinking of you eversince the day we met again after 11 mos. Funny how fate played on us, or maybe i was really meant to become a mother. Or are we meant for each other too? Could we possibly try somehow? Do you still like me? Are you considering on settling down with us? You, our baby and i? I have a lot of questions in my mind which i do not have the courage to ask. Pride.

When i told you i missed you, I wasn’t really hoping for “i missed you too” reply, or maybe i am but all you said was “missed y’all”. Atleast you replied tho. Why do we have to be this complicated when we already have a beautiful doll? (To me, we’re complicated) Do you ever think of me too? Did you really mean what you said to me before? Why can’t we just be together?

I already told myself and asked God that if i would choose to love again, i want it to be you. Because you’re A’s father, and i want her to grow up with a complete family. I can accept you, I will accept you. Whatever your pasts, no matter how many girls you slept with (i may sound desperate here) but i wanna do it for our daughter. I can do it for her. I guess this is not all about me anymore.

I miss you P. I wanna hold your hands again, hug you and kiss you.