board their ships and steal their stuff

Elizabeth Colomba (1976-) “Daphne” Oil on canvas

L'Art et la mode, no. 33, vol. 7, 17 juillet 1886, Paris. Après son pas, dessin original de G. Dubufe fils. Bibliothèque nationale de France

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

goat dog

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

looking. at you

let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

but they've installed a swing set on the Dutch/Belgian border in Baarle-Hertog/Nassau and I had to listen to a news reporter asking people including kids whether they like to "schommelen", so it goes both ways

"schommelen" in Dutch means "to ride a swing" or "to sway back and forth" whereas the same word in Afrikaans, spelled skommel, means "to masturbate"

look at them. look at them!!! i bet they have tea parties together when the spice cabinet is closed.

buddies!!