Eugene first heard his soulmates voice when he was thirteen. To say he panicked when he suddenly heard a voice that wasnāt his inside his head was an understatement. The poor boy thought he was going crazy like men coming in and out of his fatherās office claiming to hear screaming. For weeks he kept it under wraps, this sweet accented voice would speak of such horrid things, things he couldnāt even dream of. The voice spoke of his fatherās harsh words before he got the belt, it spoke about how he resented his mother for abandoning him. The voice made Eugene want to protect it, cradle it and keep the owner safe from everything the world may throw at him.
It wasnāt until his father caught him writing down the voices words that he learnt what it was, his soulmates inner thoughts were being shared with him and his soulmate would hear his. Eugene could never forget the look on his motherās face when she found out, a sense of pride that he had never quite seen beforeā¦ Even Eugene found himself getting excited until everything sunk in.
The voice in his head was clearly a male. Around his ageā¦ Maybe a few years older but male all the same. He never really took any notice about it before his family started to ask questions about the pretty voice and what kind of thoughts āsheā had. Without even thinking about it Gene lied. The handsome troubled voice turned into a typical southern bell, his deep tones that made his heart race where transformed to sweet melodies any boy would melt over.
The true identity of his soulmate remanded his little secret. One he no issues hiding.
He wonāt lie, he resented it at first, hated the voice he was slowly gaining a connection to. Hated the fact he had notebooks filled with every little thing his soulmate said or thoughtā¦ He just wanted to be normal to be like Sid who constantly bragged about how perfect his soulmate was. How she thought about everything from what he was like to the Shakespeare while his seemed to think about anything that could be deemed as important in French.
It wasnāt until Eugeneās 18th that he fully came to terms with his rather unique situation. His soulmate was interesting, to say the least, a different sort of interest that only made him hang on every single word he said. At this point he knew basic facts about him, he was from New Orleans and clearly lived in a far from good home. Although from what heās pieced out heās no longer living under the same roof as his family. He was a few years older with him just celebrating his 23rd two months prior, he remembers his soulmate making a big deal about having to buy his own smokes that day.
He spoke French, clearly, and would switch in and out of it and random. A habit that made Eugeneās near-obsessive journaling of his thoughts far more difficult than it needed it be. Whenever he switched Eugene couldnāt help but groan, part of him wondered if his soulmate did it on purpose in order to keep him on his toes. Or maybe he was just smart enough to know what thoughts to hide behind the cloak of a foreign language. The one thing he hasnāt figured out though is his nameā¦ Not once had his soulmate even had a passing thought about it. Not only was he faceless but nameless too leading to him
Did his soulmate know his? He wonāt lie there are times where Eugene finds himself focusing on specific things just in the hopes his soulmate, what he know affectionately calls Frenchie, would hear. The most important one being his name. He once spent all night just staring up at the stars mumbling his name over and over again until he started to drifted off right there on the lawn but Eugene swore he heard French repeat his name back.
War on Japan was declared days after Geneās 20th, to him it was a sign he should join, to his parents it was a battle he had to avoid at all costs. Heart murmurs were his fatherās excuse, āno soldier could deal with the struggles of war with a stumbling heartā became his favourite saying every time he mentioned joining the marines. Everyone he knew was excitedly putting down there names to join the fight in either Europe or the Pacific, Sidney being one of them but it wasnāt until he realised French was getting ready to be deployed that Eugeneās near childlike wonder for the adventure of war became a life or death need.
He heard each and every battle inside his head. It was like the first time he heard his soulmates voice all over again. Violent cries as Frenchie cursed the loss of life. Despite pleas for the noises to stop as he fights the rain during the night but the worst of all was just the sobs. Eugene could almost feel Frenchies shoulders shake as he muffled his cries by biting his hand, if he could he would swim the ocean itself to comfort the man he only knew the voice of but his heart prevented him to do so. The same heart that beats for his soulmate was stopping him from meeting him.
Never had Eugene hated irony as much as he did at that very moment.
It didnāt stop him from trying, of course, every other week he would ask his father to check his heart. Spent countless hours praying for God to allow him to join, if not to be with the man he desired Eugene to be with than to protect his country at least. Unfortunately, his father would say the same thing every single time āno soldier could deal with the struggles of war with a stumbling heartā and to that Eugene only thought that no man could hear the cries of his love and not go running towards it.
Months went by with the same result, nights were spent staring at his wall as Eugene tries to give Frenchie some words of comfort during the small moments of peace he had. Heād think about home, about the future, about his dog, just anything remotely positive he could think of. it worked, at least Eugene hoped it did because soon the despair and near cruel hatred were dying down to near nonexisting hums.
Gene was almost satisfied with this, staying in his perfect little life and spending his time trying to brighten Frenchieās day while he went to hell but as he quickly learned not all good things last. Eugene is sure heād never forget that moment. 4:29 am he woke up with sudden ringing in his ears. His head felt fuzzy as if it was drowning in pain he could not feel. If he focused hard enough he heard yelling, desperate cries of his soulmate. Eugene tries to scream back but he felt his blood run cold. Shellfire, loud deafening booms echoed as if they were happening right beside him, the thick Louisianan accent he fall for was laced with fear. His words repeating over and over in Eugeneās ears
āI donāt wanna die, not yetā¦ Pleaseā¦ Not till I see his faceā
Silence. Thatās all he heard for the rest of the night as Eugene tried to muffle his sobs into his pillow. Was this some sick joke? Was God punishing him for some sin he committed? He didnāt knowā¦ All he knew was that with every passing second of nothingness he heard was another second his heart ached.
The silence remained for days, two days, five hours and roughly twelve minutes if Eugeneās calculations were correct. He didnāt tell his parents about that night, for reasons he was sure didnāt need to be stated out loud but he would be foolish to believe that they didnāt notice. Especially when he started to religiously check the death notices for the Louisiana area multiple times a day. Part of him knew there was no point to this, even if Frenchies name were published he would read right past it without even noticing. Why couldnāt he have just said his name once?ā¦ It would have made this whole thing significantly easier for him.
Then it happened. Subtle at first, so unnoticeable that Eugene was sure he was just imagining it but then it happened again. Louder this time as if the voiceā¦ As If Frenchie was making sure he heard it. āMerdeā that was it, one simple word in French that Eugene didnāt even understand but by god was it the most angelic noise heās ever heard in his life. A word that he was quick to add to his journal.
He was alive, alive and from what he can understand in Australia waiting to be sent out again. Eugene was conflictedā¦ He was thrilled he was safe and uninjured enough to be fit to fight again but also terrified that he was going back. It was war after allā¦ Few people escape death one let alone twice. Eugene couldnāt let him get hurt, not again. Not ever.
He stopped caring about his fatherās words of his heart murmurs as he applied to the marines. He merely told his mother it would be okay when she tried to guilt him into staying. āI already have a son fighting Genie please donāt make me have bothā a few weeks ago her words would have worked. He would have smiled sadly and listened but now he had a reason to leave. A reason stronger than honour or blissful dreams of glory.
He made sure not to think about his deploy days in fear of Frenchie finding out. For some reason, Eugene thought it was best this way, his mind a blank slate until he was sailing well into the Pacific. He felt proud of everything he wanted was right in front of him but then he heard the all too familiar voice he grew attached to over the last seven years say something that he was trying to avoid at all cost.
āya have no idea what ya getting intoā¦ā
He knew he should be concerned. That he should take his soulmates voice seriously considering he had actually seen the war on the frontlines but all he could think about was how much clearer the voice with. How now it sounded like Frenchie was whispering it right against Eugeneās ear instead of from some deep far away place in his head. He was getting closer, both to war and to his soulmate. at that moment as Eugene stared at the barely visible hint of land in the distance he could only assume was Peleliu he didnāt know how to feel.
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