a smile never changes,

challenges and struggles are apart of love .

in my head again .

thoughts seep

a molten decay . . .

Dear, friend

I realize that I love you ,

like I love the moon. . .

I love you when even you are gone,

I get excited seeing your hazy light, puncture through the clouds.

I enjoy witnessing your full.

I love you even when you're at half , quarter your crescent . . .

because i know your new moon will come. . .

sometimes I question what truly lays at my core

I've forgotten who i ever was

when i was un-damged....

I blend,

safety in a chameleon suit,

my cloaking device.

emulate my surroundings.

fit in

I stick out , yet I'm able to vanish the same time...

My best trick of the show.

Get me by,

Keep me safe.

Scurry little mouse,

Run along...

!Go be timid in the shadows,

like we always do.

It's been a cocoon all this time.

Doesn't this space feel to small??

Evolve. . . .

grow. . . .

change. . . . . .

no more mouse.

something new.

for now I know.

where you tell me,

The praise,

only time I ever felt proud,

the only time I ever felt noticed.

I can only remember how hearing "good boy" felt.

now it's just something I hear in my head, taste of bitter and sweet.

I tell it to myself,

with the hope I can make myself feel that way again,

press replay,

over and over,

her voice says " good boy ".

I have to be good ,

There comes a time in the night,

When all is silent ,

only the voice in my head can be heard ,

slow beat of my heart,

a moment frozen,

numb, cold and withdrawn.

all systems down ,

communication is dark

Then it happens ,

my spark , my big bang

I feel every molecule ,

every atom begins to resonate,

humming every so high.

singing frequencies ,

the pressure of void is felt ,

feeling the empty..

emotional dark matter of me.

wave after wave,

rise and fall,

a moment I'm the distant star flickering.

just simply a moment.

I've lost my voice ,

weak and small ,

I remember feeling the roaring boom ,

I remember the rumble,

copper lined air,

before the rain,

the deep breath in,

frequency tuned , into earth, grounded.

the cry of the pain,

let into the winds ,

carry my voice , across this universe.

violent veneer

striking eyes ,

silhouette sharp,

they don't understand this place,

only few understand.

Soft flesh ,

pale white vines ,dress your temple.

texture of memories engraved,

some tell accomplishment,

others show pain.

Details about this place i cannot forget.

Your edges , in every passing place ,

evokes , what it felt like to stand at your threshold .

Postcards , like daydreams .

It's wearing,

being without,

forlorn,

waiting,

deep with in the forest,

lays the pool of you,

my fingerprints ,

skim your mirrored face,

I do my best not to disrupt, I do not want to cause wake.

I understand what it is about this place,

how i changed it,

scorn memories , carved in your bark,

flowers in your water tattered and torn,

I try to heal it.

even though it burns to touch,the memory of the monster.

incinerate me, my tears to steam, flesh to embers, melt me.

Emotion = input()

if Emotion >= null :

feel(something)

print('Expression')

else:

feel(null)

print('Expression Not Found')

I want to feel the earth again,

at my toes,

cool green blades pressed against my heel,

the connected feeling of being in place.

being where you're supposed to be in that very moment.

let me sink where i stand ,

plant me right here,

let me grow ,

no more constant tumbling,

pushed by the wind,

the guiding hand,

poking, pushing , dragging.

my motion is null,

I will plant myself here,

I can no longer live,

in the feeling of null.

I want to feel trust,

I want to feel home.

am i giving myself false hope

am i wasting whats left of me

even so

id rather leave whats left of me with you

sift your fingers though me

ashy silt , im now complete

full circle

stuff my locks inside lockets,

the slow roll of a chill down my neck

creek of the monster

pressing on the floor boards

steps worn in,

it knows how to enter,

I know its pattern,

only to gently touch my mind

before destroying it,

we dance,

like so many times before,

spinning in the gentle snow fall ,

frozen cloudy diamonds,

blinding white abyss of above,

movements ,

yet the monster stays,

on beat with every step,

spin me out ,

throw me into the air,

so I can feel the moment of the free fall,

let me fall like them, let me float down like them.

let me rest .

dont catch me monster ,