freeform thoughts @i-wont-remember-this - Tumblr Blog

Mary Oliver, Wild Geese (1986) in her collection Dream Work.

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weltenwellen

Joy Sullivan, from “These Days People Are Really Selling Me On California”, Instructions for Traveling West

weltenwellen

Tracy K. Smith, from “Don’t You Wonder, Sometimes?”, Life on Mars

i feel like im getting crushed by the things i have to do. all i wanna do is read fanfics, play games, stay home, dont talk to anyone. but i have to keep seeing people to have good relationships, need to finish paperworks, try to learn and do things to get better at my career, study… it just doesnt end.

and honestly, what a privilege to be able to say that ive enlarged my life so much that it is overfilling. but it is overfilling nonetheless. i dont know how to have a balance appearantly

#rambles #thoughts #stress #study struggles

vngful

kosmogrl

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bruh leavw me tf alone… patheticcccc

i dont feel like we’ve not been talking all this time, you know? Every moment, remnants of you are with me. You’re in the corner of my eyes, in the shadows, talking in whispers. You’re with me, it’s your voice in my head. you’re my first thought, my anxiety, my guilt; the rock that Sisyphus pushes.

#i have to destroy it in me

i dont know how to escape this feeling, as if eveything is hanging by a thread. I feel so threatened all the time, and as if I keep wasting my time, losing my potential. I try but its not good enough, not fast enough, its not my 100%. And i feel like im running out of time; i dont want to look back in regret

i totally understand how people start smoking, or drinking, or using anything to soothe the dread.

shymagnolia

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

shymagnolia

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

flagellant

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

coffee-or-hot-cocoa

i need all the help i can get for finals

finnglas

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.

So you know.

This might be the real one, y’all.

red-xavier

fuck it sure. help

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every moment im away from work, i feel an incredible dread. It’s not even I work a lot, or do a lot. I just feel like I must always feel like working, to feel like I deserve something.

#work #burnt out #capitalism

thoughtkick

“Life is that which must overcome itself again and again.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

I really do believe i was not made for living. When i have a good day, when im happy; all it leads to is missing that moment so terribly in the future. If im unhappy, all I can think of is the future that is so bleak, and the present that I could have had, but was stolen from me.

Always sad, always longing for something. Nostalgia for past, present, future; all morphing to create a husk of a person.

#i always thought id kms #but i just cant do it #as much as i am sad i have many things i love #many things i look forward to #many things that make me wanna be alive #im in constant suffering but i still want to live #depression #spilled ink

there were shots fired in my city

lasted only a moment

briefly bleeding a sickly orange into the sky

there were fireworks in your city

lasted until the morning

transforming the sky into a kaleidoscope

#millions of miles away #i feel like im trapped here #short poem #long distance but im left behind in a dumpster #spilled ink

Since one year, I lost more than I could ever fathom, and i endured much worse than what i thought i could without breaking.

Im alive.

But havent i given enough?

#haven't i given enough #given enough #:(

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xuune

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life is just collecting remorse, and leaving behind what youre accustomed to

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