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I feel like all the circles I walk in I’m getting the feeling either one of two things is true (or both are true)

People I talk to with the intention of asking out say they already have a partner, and that’s fine but in my brain full of self doubt I wonder, is the state of the places I go to so bad that people feel like they can only go once they have the mental or physical security of a partner, or am I just off putting

Im going to kink events and meeting nice people tho

When I ask for even clarification on a task in met with “don’t ask questions just do it” or an annoyed “I’ll just do it myself go be useless elsewhere”

Now I feel like I can never say the right thing nor can I ever do the right thing.

And all this sets a mood where my path of least damage is to genuinely shut the fuck up, and I’m constantly scared but she wants something else. It’s always she wants me to be something else that I’m not and she wants me to know exactly what I need to be for her

And I feel like a baby now that I type that but I’m catching myself in a mental stutter. I don’t know what’s right I don’t know who will ever see this or care