and all that jazz

Tim: *prompting hum*

Damian: …and then i met you all.

Tim:

Tim: and now?

Damian: i feel like there’s better things to do with life.

Tim, easily: yeah, going behind the scenes really takes that respect away, doesn’t it?

Damian: so you know what i mean?

Tim: oh yeah. when i first became Robin i adored Bruce and the concept of being Robin. thought it was magical. thought it was gonna be the best time of my life.

Damian: and then?

What a red flag actually means: something here is an indicator of a potential problem (but might be fine with a reasonable explanation)

What people have now decided it means: abuse

I've lost count of the number of times I've now had to read variants of "My partner takes all my money and gives me back an allowance because he says it's a man's job to control finances, but he's racking up gambling debts" being met with "Wow this man is a walking red flag" no Becky that is abuse. That is not an indicator. He is an abuser. Call the police. We have lost the concept of a proxy: a thing that indicates a more important thing. And it's relevant to this conversation because I'm actually going to go out on a limb here:

With the obvious exception of paedophilia, age gaps themselves aren't a problem at all - they are a proxy for the actual harmful phenomenon. Hea me out, let me explain

The reason we don't like age gaps is because of the implied power dynamic. If one partner, usually male, is older than other - particularly if the other is still quite young - the risk is that what we're seeing is a worldly wise predator who is exploiting the lack of life experience of a young beautiful woman by mentally abusing her until she's no longer young and pretty enough to satisfy, at which point he'll move on to the next. There have been enough examples of this in human history. It's unfortunately not an uncommon pattern. Genders can also be diverse in this scenario

We can't necessarily see that dynamic from the outside. But we CAN see an inherent element of it: the ages of the people involved. So age becomes a proxy for the abuse. And, hey, it's often correct.

But here's the thing: the ages themselves are not causing harm.

The power dynamic is. The abuse is.

Plenty of age gap relationships are loving, healthy and steadfast. Two people met and genuinely fell in love regardless of the outer packaging, and have a relationship with all the highs and lows and challenges and rewards as any more traditional pairing. This happens all the time

Is the age gap a red flag? Sure! It indicates a potential issue.

Is it inherently abusive? Absolutely fucking not.

OP is right - we need to stop focusing just on the numbers and twisting the facts to fit by infantilising the younger partners, and start focusing on the actual harms. The DiCaprio Pattern of only dating under 24s repeatedly is itself a proxy, too, actually - but a much stronger one than the simple presence of an age gap.

(Even so, in DiCaprio's case, until any of his former partners come forward and describe him as abusive, actually, even that is up in the air - my personal interpretation, given how strong a pattern it is, is that he's a loser who views women as trophies (consciously or not). If any have come forward and I don't know about it, of course, fair enough. But those women were adults capable of making their own decisions, even if they might later come to regret it. And regretting poor decisions is part of life! That's how it goes, particularly with relationships. As long as they weren't abused, there's no biggie. And just as he was looking for young-and-beautiful, there's no way they weren't, on some level, looking for rich-and-famous; it goes both ways.)

Also, another element of this: I think a lot of modern extreme puritan discourse on this is actually ironically down to the age of those taking part. Up until your late 20s, ten years is actually a huge span of time to you, because in your own life you were in a completely different developmental phase ten years ago (teenager), and a completely different phase again ten years before that (child). That skews your sense of what a ten-year gap means. Whereas once you're in your 30s and beyond, ten years is like. Yeah I was an adult ten years ago, and I still am now. That's two adults. Who cares.

Damian: it's just a night or two, and it's not like Father doesn't have spare bedrooms available. Jason: that's not the issue, the issue is that i don't want them to fucking know i'm here. Damian: ok so i'll distract them and you can sneak in the back entrance. Jason, flatly: you want me to sneak into my old house to spend the night, when everybody thinks i'm dead and i want it to stay that way? Damian: i'm just saying that his long lost blood son showing up is a good distraction, and it IS a big manor. i'll bet you anything that i could keep you hidden in there for as long as you needed. Jason: you fucking could not. Damian: i could. Jason: could not. Damian: i could and i'll bet fifty dollars on it. Jason: Jason: Jason: alright.

Damian ends up keeping Jason hidden in Bruce's own house like a kid trying to hide a puppy they found on the street in the back of their closet. he's sneaking Jason food and building him a little hidey-hole in the attic above his bedroom and literally nobody else in the manor has a single fucking clue. Jason already knows all the hidey-holes and secret passages from when he lived there anyway, so it turns out not to be as hard as he thought.

to be clear, he still becomes the Red Hood. he's not spending every second in the manor; he's sneaking in and out on a daily basis while he sets up a rulership in Crime Alley. it gets to the point where he fully has his own apartment that he could move into at any point, but he and Damian are being so stubborn about this bet that he's just staying at the manor anyway to prove that eventually they'll figure it out. plus it's starting to get really fucking funny because he's started playing ominous ghost sounds in the ceiling above Tim's room and the poor guy fully thinks he's being haunted by his predecessor's ghost. a fact which is almost correct.

the only thing that's frustrating the hell out of Jason is the fact that after every single interaction with the bats, no matter how exhausted he is from working all night, he has to watch Bruce drive the others right back home while he waits and then has to walk back by himself. eventually there's an arkham breakout and it's so bad that the bats are readily accepting Hood's help with dealing with it and it takes so fucking long to sort everything out that when it's finally over and they're ready to 'go their separate ways', Jason is so genuinely dead on his feet/in pain and need of sleep that he stops caring about everything. Bruce tells the bats to get in the batmobile and Jason just trudges over and slides in next to Tim.

everybody freezes and. straight does not know how to respond. Jason's just half-asleep already leaning his head against the window, and Bruce eventually has to clear his throat and ask like "...would you like a ride home, Hood?" and Jason just grunts.

"where do you live?"

"Wayne Manor," Jason mumbles, barely conscious. the bats all bluescreen apart from Damian who is so resigned to his big brother's idiocy at this point that he just tells them to take him back to the cave with them.

"just- just bring him. look at him. what trouble is he going to cause? he's tired, Father. let him rest."

Bruce is... so confused. and so concerned. but if Hood's injured then what harm is there in letting him get checked over and sleep the worst off in the batcave medical suite? he did help out a lot that night, after all. except when they get to the cave Bruce and Dick start preparing to carry the asleep Red Hood onto a medical bed when Damian just kicks him in the ribs and says 'we're home', and they watch in baffled fucking silence as Hood wakes up, blearily blinks while he takes in his surroundings, and then gets up to start trudging straight up and into the manor.

the others can do nothing but watch in quiet disbelief as Hood proceeds to go through the manor like he truly knows it, gets to Damian's bedroom, and then sleepily climbs up through a secret passage in the ceiling that, when Bruce pokes his head into, reveals a fully renovated bedroom filled with the Red Hood's gear and personal possessions. Hood flops down onto the bed and passes out immediately. Damian just bids Hood a good night and calmly closes the opening behind him, before turning to face the incredulous faces of his entire family staring at him like he's a fucking alien. he narrows his eyes.

"we will talk about it. tomorrow."

"Damian-"

"we are all tired." Damian determines. "for now, let him sleep."

"IN OUR HOUSE-"

"WE WILL DISCUSS THIS TOMORROW."

the next morning Jason wakes up at like. noon. and remembers the night before. and he crawls down into Damian's room to nudge him awake and firmly tell him 'i am not giving you fifty dollars'.

*connecting ping*

Jason: i spy, with my little eye, a little Robin that is slacking off,

Tim: the fuck...?

Damian: wait what- where are you?

Jason: ten o'clock, two buildings over.

Damian: *a slight pause* oh you stalker, what are you doing out of the alley?

Jason: catching you lacking, apparently.

Tim: the hell is going on over there?

Jason, amused: kid's hidin' behind an AC unit so he can ditch patrol and go on his phone.

Damian, pointedly: that's not what i'm doing, actually, so you can mind your own business,

Tim: you're not even supposed to have your civilian phone on you during patrol, it's a security risk. and where the fuck did B go?

Jason: oh he's in this call, he's just got us on mute.

Damian: he was questioning a couple gang members so i left. he'll notice soon, i'm sure, just like he'll soon notice his phone is missing.

Tim: his phone?

Jason: oh my god you stole Batman's phone- hold on, i'm coming over there, hold on.

Damian: well he didn't listen to his own rules regarding the subject, so i figured he deserved to suffer at least a little bit.

*wind whooshing* *boots against concrete*

Jason: *laughs* holy shit you have his actual phone-!

Tim, admiring: how did you get it unlocked?

Damian: i have a note in my own phone with all of your passwords written down from when i look over your shoulders and memorise them.

Tim: what-

Jason, amused: what are you doing with it?

Damian: well i was just going to hide it and make him experience supreme anxiety by thinking his personal possession is lost somewhere in the streets of Gotham, but he's been annoying me lately so i've kind of been doing... this.

*a beat*

Jason: *wheeze* NO WAY,

Tim: wait what- what's he done?!

Damian: i've been doing this for a while, actually. i just delete the evidence afterwards so he can't find out.

Jason: *weeping* you- you've done this before...?

Tim: WHAT'S HE DONE?

Jason, struggling to keep composure: he's- he's texting people as Bruce--he's text Clark,

Tim: what?! what's he said?

Jason: he- *wheeze*

Damian, slightly amused: do you want me to read it out?

Jason, weakly: please,

Damian: i, uh- *amused throat clear* i found a photo on the internet of a close-up on some man's inner thigh, showing a mole. it's not indecent in any way, it's just... slightly too intimate.

Jason: *wheezes again*

Damian, over him: -but it matches Father's body type, so i sent it to Superman. and then i said 'do you think i should get this checked or just see what happens? it's new, which i know might be concerning, but Batman's survived way worse than a mole, right?'

Jason, high-pitched, crying: -so weird,

Tim, incredulous: ...WHY????

Damian: i told you; because he can be annoying.

Jason: *still laughing*

Tim: yes but why THAT specifically?!

Damian: well that's the game, isn't it? it has to be odd, but not such a red flag that Kent instantly thinks Father's phone has been hacked. weird, but in an abstract way. it also needs to be enough of a none-issue that i can delete the interaction off this phone before i slip it back into Father's pocket and Kent won't think it's alarming enough to bring up again.

*brief pause*

Tim, in disbelief: dude, why have- why have you thought this out so much- how many times have you done this?!

Damian, sighing in consideration: well, when i first came to Gotham i had a few anger issues, i guess--inherited from biological donor number three, i'm sure,

Jason: -i resent that-

Damian: -and this was a good way to let off some steam without being grounded for attempting to kill anybody. when i first started i had to be careful, because Kent had a very specific view of Father. but over time i believe i've desensitised him somewhat.

Jason: do you just text Uncle Clark every time?!

Damian: no, i don't always attempt to embarrass Father. sometime i just use him as a medium to make other people suffer.

Tim, horrified: please tell me you've never texted me as Bruce.

Damian: no, i've never needed to, we have the fight pact. when you piss me off i just fight you.

Jason: healthy.

Damian: i got Dick pretty bad, though.

*connecting ping*

Dick: B, i need you.

Jason: speak of the devil.

Tim: oh he's been muted for the past like, twenty minutes. you need back up?

Dick: oh, no, i just needed to remember the name of one of my old middle school teachers and thought he'd know because it's really pissing me off that i can't remember it.

Jason: the fuck do you need to know that for?

Dick: brain-worm. anyway, what are we on over here?

*silence*

Damian: nothing important.

Tim: no fuck off- Damian's stolen Bruce's phone and he's texting people pretending to be him 'to make people suffer'.

Damian: Timothy i will fucking fight you.

Dick: -YOU HAVE HIS PHONE?! that's fucking hysterical, who's the target?

Jason: *pointed* currently, Uncle Clark. but he's not the only- hooly shit Clark's typing. he's typing- he's fucking typing.

Tim: oh my god,

*silence*

Jason: *abrupt cackling* NO FUCKING- *wheeze* NO WAY-,

Damian: oh my god- oh my god wait,

Tim: what the fuck did he say?!

Jason: *still cackling*

Dick: YOU CAN'T LEAVE US LIKE THIS!

Jason, struggling to breathe: GOD- Uncle Clark is the best on earth,

Tim: THE FUCK DID HE SAY?!

Jason: he- *wheeze* he's said- *cough* 'it doesn't seem abnormal, however if you'd feel more comfortable with a friend rather than a doctor then i could always x-ray the spot next time i see you to check for any growths underneath the skin.'

Tim: GOD, HE'S SO NICE?

Jason: *cackles*

Dick: what the fuck did you tell him!?!

Damian: all i did was send a photo of Father's new thigh mole.

Jason, crying: oh god- i love him,

Damian: sh, sh, i'm trying to concentrate,

Jason: what are you- WHAT ARE YOU RESPONDING? HE'S RESPONDING AGAIN.

Tim: Dami- *wheeze* Damian,

Damian: *snickering* ok how about that?

Dick: read it out read it out read it out.

Jason: uh- 'i think that would be helpful for the next JL meeting, but if you could-' *long, painful wheeze*

Tim: WHAT?

Jason: *not breathing*

Damian, calmly: 'but if you could do it discreetly, without me having to be pulled aside; i'd rather not cause speculations about why we would need to meet privately. you can just do it during the meeting.'

Jason: *whimpering*

Dick: oh, my, fuck.

Tim, struggling to keep his voice level: w-wait, so he's- so at the next Justice League meeting Clark is just gonna be there subtly trying to- *wheeze* trying to stare at Batman's inner thighs,

Jason, through choked weeps: -just on his own special little mission,

Tim: his own- *collapses into laughter*

Dick: Damian that's- that's fucking diabolical.

Tim: dude what does Bruce even do to you to deserve this stuff?!

Damian: yeah i should- i should probably clarify that i do love my father,

Dick: *instant cackle*

Damian: like i- *slight wheeze* i do- it might not seem like i like him,

Jason, crying: i can't- oh my god my side hurts,

Damian: i do love him, i just- sometimes he's a hypocrite, and he needs this.

Tim, matter-of-factly: God sent you to test this man, he knew- God knew that somebody needed to check Batman before he rose to complete power, so he cobbled together all of our essences and poured it into a new vessel to keep him firmly grounded on earth, and that vessel is you,

Jason, still laughing: that's true- when i was up there i had a private conference with the guy just like 'you know he's starting to get out of control, right? i was doing my best but the Joker got me, so what's the plan?' and God was like 'don't worry, Jason. i have plans. you have been chosen to bring my prophecy to fruition. like Mary with Jesus, you will bring fourth a solution.' and the solution was this.

Tim: *cackle*

Damian: not even close to the worst thing i've done to anybody with this phone, by the way. what i did to Dick was objectively way worse.

Dick, laughter stopping abruptly: -wait what?

Jason: yeah what did you do to Dick?

Dick: YOU'VE DONE THIS TO ME?!

Damian: ...you're joining from Bludhaven, right?

Dick: w-?!?! YEAH? WHY?

Damian: ok then that's far enough away for me to tell you.

Tim, amused: holy shit what'd you do?

Damian: he annoyed me. he promised to take me to the museum, and then he cancelled so he could go on a date.

Dick: you- YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE WITH THAT.

Damian: i lied. so i text you from Father's phone and told you that for the medical files in the Batcave it was imperative that you provide a recent and up-to-date record of your sexual history and amount of partners you've had overall. we argued about it for a while, but eventually i wore you down and you agreed to put one together.

Dick: WHAT.

Jason: *loud cackles, increasing in pitch*

Tim, in awe: holy fuck.

Dick, genuinely distressed: DAMIAN- I GAVE THAT RECORD TO HIM IN PERSON,

Jason: *abruptly deflates* Y-HES, OH MY GOD YES CHILD,

Dick: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK- THAT WASN'T HIM?!! OH MY GOD HE WAS SO CONFUSED WHEN I HANDED HIM IT--HE LOOKED AT ME SO WEIRDLY,

Jason: *losing his complete shit*

Dick: DAMIAN!

Damian, unapologetic: next time remember bros before hoes, what can i say.

Dick: THAT'S NOT AN EQUAL REACTION. WHAT THE FUCK.

Bruce: interrogation complete; Robin where have you disappeared off to?

Dick: I'M GOING TO END YOU DAMAIN-

Tim: *wheezes* you might have- you might have missed a few things, B.

Bruce: i wasn't even muted for that long- what's going on here?

Dick: I'M KILLING YOUR ONLY BIOLOGICAL SPAWN, THAT'S WHAT.

Tim, morbidly curious: i've actually never seen Dick this mad at Damian before, this is kinda impressive.

Jason: *struggling to breathe* no- no kid come here- *wheeze* i'm gonna- i'm gonna- come here, let daddy protect you, i'm so proud of you kiddo,

Damian: yeah i'm sticking with you for the next few days. keep Grayson away from me.

Jason: i love you more than anything, habibi, i got your back,

Bruce: what on earth-

Dick: FUCKING- JASON? HE NEEDS TO HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

Jason: not for this, this is amazing. i'm taking him, we're out. sucks to be you, Goldie.

*2 disconnecting pings*

Dick: *scream of frustration*

*disconnecting ping*

*silence*

Bruce: ...what did Robin do?

Tim: i am... not answering that.

*three seconds of silence*

Bruce: did Hood actually just refer to himself as Robin's 'daddy'?

*a beat*

Tim: um. yeah that's- that's new slang. it's from the- it's a league of assassins youth thing. don't question it.

Bruce: ...i am not touching that.

Tim: good choice.

*silence*

Bruce: shit, where's my phone?

Tim: -i have to go.

Playing pre-canon as a rider newly chosen by a dragon. And the first bigger quest is starting off with accidentally keeping Galbatorix and Jarnunvösk from leaving for the north by being bated into a bet to steal Torix' saddle by Morzan (who likes to have young riders attempt impossible stuff). Since you're the main character tho, you manage it with a stupid amount of luck and coincidentally prevent the fall from happening.... for now.

Also Brom’s socks are collectibles which he asked you to help with finding. Finding all fifty will trigger a quest that has massive crime investigation vibes, only to find out that it was Morzan stealing all those socks and hiding them all along.

That first quest for stealing Torix' saddle will settle whether you're playing on the og timeline or on an alternate one. If you get to steal the saddle, Galbatorix will find out about it and you'll get detention (bunch of must-have quests without your dragon, who will be mad because of it), but the main enemy in the end will be Bachel.

If during the saddle-stealing, you listen to your partner and don't steal the saddle, the Fall is happening and the main enemy is Galbatorix. Which means that Morzan, who has the best quests and loots, vanishes in the middle of the game.

The endgame depends on how much annoyance-points you get from various Forsworn. Like. If you play on the Fall-timeline and don't get good points on Morzan's quests, you won't be able to join the Forsworn, and you'll have to face Morzan in the battle of Vroengard. He has insane stats, but if you know that and train for that and manage to kill him, then the second boss phase is Galbatorix and you're dead (and the world gets destroyed. Because of reasons).

If you play on the Bachel timeline, tho, you'll need to get good points with Galbatorix for him to let you join to his quest to kill Bachel (best ending for characters, but annoying mid-game bc you get annoyance points with the Council).

Also, you need to maintain the friendship with your dragon or they'll distract you when you're getting quests and it also affects the aerial fighting stats.