@theartofmadeline
Mike Driver
JBB: An Artblog!
Claire Keane
ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
pixel skylines
will byers stan first human second
blake kathryn
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Kiana Khansmith
#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
d e v o n
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
macklin celebrini has autism
AnasAbdin
Not today Justin
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@i-madeamiscake
The Captain’s Concoction.
Get a pizza.
Get some noodles.
Get some Veg.
Get some Korean sauce.
Get some wraps.
Slap them all in a wrap.
There you have it, an Italian/Chinese/Korean/Mexican miss mash and a bit of a canal water to drown your sorrows.
Bish, Bash, Bosh.
If you don’t like it, toilets blocked.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A cake is like a basketball, you take it out of the oven and then realise you put a basketball in the oven.
Charles BAKEley.
WHAT IF YOU DROPPED YOUR CAKE ON THE FLOOR?
Phone an accident helpline, claim back your PPI and blame David Cameron for the war.
If you did all that before the 5 second rule, then you’re a pro. Scoop up the cake and feed for 12.
If you took longer, leave it there as a floor’nament and sell your house.
Ainsley Harriott: So chef, what's on the menu today lovely?
Mister Miscake: You gave me a bag with just a fucking plum and some fucking mushrooms.
Ainsley Harriott: Ok, staaart cooking!
Mister Miscake: I made Beef Wellington!
How to have an opinion.
SHUT YOUR WORD HOLE AND BAKE THE TARTLET YOU NUMPTY!
And that is what you do with your opinion.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
How to eat Porridge politely.
Go up to the menacing looking master dude and say “Blitch please. I don’t need no porridge. I got 8 miniature boxes of Kelloggs”
Welcome to the Bible of baking. Where you will learn the skill of baking things from scratch with only a shoe, some glue and a Kenan and Kel reference and meet me at the Bus stop! Here it goooes!!
How to peel an orange.
Add two teaspoons of coconut bullshit into a dwarfs face. Stir gently and headbutt the flour until it becomes soft and gooey. Clean your kitchen with nothing but dirty toothpicks and then serve for 8. Put in the microwave for half a century. Take out of the frying pan and just like that I have forgotten what I’m fucking teaching you.
The perfect date.
And thus, she became my bosom buddy, as we explored the universe together, traversing through mountain regions and wandering lengthy journeys through the harsh desserts, we fell for each other even more by every minute. I longed to be hers. She yearned to be mine. We were transfixed with our infatuation for one another and we both knew that we would die for one another. In Belgium or Honolulu or Timbuktu, our doomsday spot will be forever remembered as an image of love and commitment. Adventures until we perished but in each others arms. Globetrotting until we aged unrecogniseably but wither away in ones clutches. We were inseparable and destined to never be apart. Siamese twins not biologically, but romantically. Attached for the world to see. A symbol of unity that cannot be broken. Love that will exist for centuries in history books. And that’s how you make a date pie. Join me next week, as I teach you how to make scones.
A hearty bread and butter pudding.
First, get a bowl of thumb tacs and dip your earlobes in and swirl, swirl like you’ve never swirled before! Then when the fire engine has parked inside your shed, take the pizza out from under your armpits and leave to simmer for at least the answer to 8+19. Go to Toys R Us and buy the services of a Matt Lucas lookalike and threaten to murder his toupee until the onions are a warm caramelised glaze. Once the truffles have been dipped into the cement mixture, apply lip stick and date your nans best friend and return just in time for the custard to explode in your face. Take a selfie and send it by accident to a lawyer and then resume dicing the porcupine. Discipline a baby eel and call it Trevor and then whisk the sunflower oil until it is ready to be placed on a skateboard. Learn Spanish, say Viva la Raza, take the batter out of your pillow case and let the liquorice dentures cool down. And there you have it. A gorgeous apple and raisin tartlet.
HOW TO MAKE APPLE CRUMBLE BY BENJI DOTAN.
Soften a brown paper elephant and talk to the police officer about the missing video tape of Boris Johnson’s greatest haircuts Spread the jam evenly onto a rubber band and laugh at the neighbours ugly cat Observe as the bread rises slightly before becoming a ninja in a cinema
Hold your hands out and collect donations for the church roof before applying red colouring to the cake Take the tuna steak out of the dishwasher and serve for 11 vegans Light your hair on fire and then add sprinkles to the mix Gently whisk the ingredients and then pour into the sink Wait a decade for it to set And there you have it. A CHOCOLATE TART WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming