why is it so hard to be here?

if i look back, i am lost
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why is it so hard to be here?

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tw// self harm
I promised him i wouldn’t hurt myself anymore. but i feel like such a burden. i feel like a waste of space. i don’t feel like i am enough. and it is so hard to keep from hurting myself, but i know he will notice and that’s the only thing keeping me from doing it.
me: I should do laundry
my brain: you should die
me: touché

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i may be ugly but i used to be ugIier
you’re all i want
Sylvia Plath, from “Three Women.”
trying to be what they deserve, but I know that i am not enough. i know the end is inevitable.

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i spend so much time wishing i was someone else. i dont think i’ll ever be okay with myself.
The only thing that comforts me is that fact that I could just kill myself tomorrow and won’t have to worry about another thing again.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I have a job to do.