hyunlover

You flinched when his palm pressed flat against your stomach, holding you still. "Relax," he murmured, just for you, before raising his voice for the audience.

"See how tense she is? That's normal. First time jitters, right, kitten?" His other hand ghosted up your inner thigh, teasing, "Gonna take it slow, pay attention."

comments and donations pinged.

squirtlord: bro shes so pretty wtf

lixonfire: chan u lucky bastard

Chan laughed, breath warm against your ear as he leaned in to read them aloud. "They're obsessed with you already," he whispered, nipping your lobe before addressing the stream again.

"Alright, number one: how to tell she's ready." His fingers trailed lower, feather light, tracing patterns that made your breath hitch. "See how she’s arching into my hand? That’s your green light. don't rush — unless she asks for it."

You gasped when his thumb circled where you were hottest, the fabric of your underwear still frustratingly in place. "Chan—" His name slipped out before you could stop it, and the chat lost it entirely, hearts and dollar signs flooding the screen.

"Yeah? ," he coaxed, dragging his knuckles against you just hard enough to make your hips jerk.

His fingers curled under the edge of your underwear, not pulling them aside yet— just teasing the promise of it, letting the tension coil tighter in your stomach.

cumdump404: chan pls tell her she’s perfect*.

“See that?” His thumb stroked slow circles just above where you ached. “They’re begging for you.”

You whimpered when he finally hooked a finger under the fabric, dragging it to the side slowly. The cool air of the room hit your skin, making you shiver — or maybe that was the way his breath hitched when he got his first proper look.

“Fuck,” he exhaled, low, “That’s what you want to see before you even think about touching.”

he dragged the pad of his thumb through the slick heat between your thighs. "shit," he muttered, more to himself than the stream, before angling his wrist to give the camera a better view. The wet glide of his skin against yours was obscenely loud in the quiet room, punctuated only by the occasional ping of another donation notification.

You bit down hard on your lip, hips twitching when his fingertip circled your entrance without pushing in. You could see the corner of his mouth tilt up as he watched you squirm. "Patience, kitten," he chided, though his own breathing wasn’t entirely steady.

"Gotta make sure you're fully ready f'me," he said, dragging his finger down to collect more wetness before bringing it back up to swirl around your clit.

His fingertips trailed back down, skirting your heat deliberately, and you whimpered when he paused just shy of touching you properly. “Chat, tell me — how many of you would’ve just shoved two fingers in by now?”

jinnieinabottle: guilty

quokktoobig: BOOOO

Chan shook his head, clicking his tongue. “Amateurs. Watch.” His index finger finally dipped between your folds, dragging through slickness in one slow, filthy stroke.

Your breath hitched when his fingertip finally pressed inside— just the tip, just enough to make your hips jerk forward instinctively. "Easy," Chan murmured, his free hand splayed across your stomach to hold you still. The stretch burned sweetly, his finger working in achingly slow increments. "See how she’s taking me?" He angled his wrist to give the camera a better view, the wet shine of your arousal glistening under the ring light. "Tight, but not tense. That’s the difference."

Chan's finger curled inside you experimentally, the pad of it dragging against your walls with a practiced laziness that made your toes curl. Then— there. The sudden pressure against that one spot sent a jolt up your spine, your back arching off his lap and an embarrassingly loud moan spilled from your lips.

His grin was instant, sharp with triumph even as his voice dropped into that faux sympathetic tone "Oh? Was that it?" he teased, circling the spot again just to watch your thighs tremble. "You can say it, baby. We’re all friends here."

"Y-yes," you gasped, the word fracturing as Chan's finger crooked inside you again, relentless in its precision.

Chan only hummed, low and approving, his breath warm against your ear. "Good girl," he murmured, the praise curling around you like smoke. "Now tell them where." His fingertip pressed harder, deliberate, and your hips stuttered against his hand. "Right—right there, fuck—"

The stream's audio picked up your sharp inhale as Chan crooked his finger just right again, “Watch the angle,” Chan instructed to the stream twisting his wrist to demonstrate. “You’re not finger fucking a thanksgiving turkey.”

His free hand slid up to palm your breast through your shirt, thumb rolling over your nipple. “And always, always keep the rest of her involved.”

slave4u: me next me next

quokktoobig: bro she’s literally shaking

The stretch burned brighter when his second finger pressed alongside the first, his palm tilting to ease the way. You gasped, fingers twisting in the sheets, but Chan’s free hand caught yours, lacing your fingers together as he squeezed reassurance. "Breathe," he murmured, just for you, before shifting back into instructor mode for the stream.

"See how she’s opening up for me? That’s the rhythm you want— press in on her exhale." His fingers retreated slightly, then pushed back in deeper, the drag of his knuckles against your walls drawing a shaky moan from your throat.

"thereee you go," he praised, thumb circling your clit, the dual stimulation had your hips rocking helplessly, but his grip on your hand tightened, holding you still. "None of that," he chided, though his voice was warm with amusement. "Let me do the work. yea?" His fingers curled again.

"That’s the motion— come here, chat, look close." He angled the camera down, his fingers glistening as they moved inside you.

“You wanna speed up?” he asked you, and the sincerity in his voice— like he’d stop if you said no. he would.

"yes— hnnng —please don't stop," you managed, the words catching in your throat as his fingers twisted deeper. He turned back to the camera. "Hear that, chat? Consent is always sexy." His fingers sped up,

Another donation alert chimed

lixonfire: TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY WHEN SHE CUMS

Chan laughed breathlessly. "Oh, she knows," he said, but his thumb rolled over your clit with renewed focus, The coil in your stomach tightened, your muscles fluttering around his fingers, and his breath hitched. "There it is," he breathed, "That's it, let go. I've got you."

and it's like you came on command, your back arching off his chest as pleasure crackled through your nerves.

Chan's fingers slowed, gentling you through it, his praise a warm murmur under the chaos of the chat. "Fuck, look at her," he told the stream, his voice rough with awe. "wait for her to ride it out, don't be greedy" His fingers slowed before stilling completely and slipping out of you with a soft, obscene sound, and you shuddered, oversensitive and boneless against him.

You twitched when his fingertips brushed your knee, oversensitive and still thrumming. Chan noticed, and his smirk softened into something warmer. "You good?" he murmured, leaning in close enough that his breath ghosted over your ear. The question was private, just for you, but the microphone caught it anyway,

cumdump404: i think he's in love with her

You nodded, swallowing hard, and Chan’s grin turned wicked again as he straightened. "She says she’s good," he announced to the stream, winking at the camera.

"And that," Chan announced, dragging his damp fingers across your thigh one last time for the camera's benefit, "is today's lesson." he pulled your now soaked panties back on you and gave it a little pat.

"Say goodbye, chat. Our star needs a break." His palm settled warm against your stomach as he nudged you gently. "Wave bye, kitten."

You lifted a trembling hand toward the camera, fingers fluttering in a weak approximation of a wave.

slave4u: pls bring her back next stream

jinnieinabottle: bye angel

quokktoobig: I just came so hard rn

lixonfire: holy shit that was so hot

Chan's laugh was low and pleased as he leaned into frame, his free hand adjusting the camera angle to capture the both of you— his face, smug and satisfied, and your body still loose limbed with pleasure. "Next time, maybe we'll teach you how to make her beg," he mused, winking at the lens before tapping the screen to end the stream.

a/n: I wanna make a long fic ab this...

“Chann–nnie–” You mewl, flat on your back on the studio couch, your pretty top wrinkled from being shoved up your waist hastily, shorts pulled down your thighs and two of Chan’s thick fingers buried in your quivering cunt.

He glances at the door over his Chrome Hearts glasses—making sure it’s locked for the hundredth time. When he looks back down at you, the corner of his lips turning upward in a little smile.

“You were really wound tight huh, baby?” He curls his fingers slightly inside of you, and your reply is quickly cut off by another strangled whine. “Shoulda told me, I would’ve taken care of you sooner.”

He glances back at the screen in front of him, his fingers—the one not busy at work with you that is—clicking away, adjusting whatever pitch it was he’s working on. Your hips chase his fingers shamelessly when he drags them out of you slowly. They catch in the overhead light of the studio, glistening with your juices before he pushes them back in.

“Didn’t wanna–” Your breath hitches slightly. “Didn’t wanna keep you away from work.” He huffs out a laugh, headphones that are only over one of his ears falling slightly. “Lucky for you, I’m a great multitasker. Feel good baby? Ready for the third one?”

“Feels so fucking good,” You pant, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. “But it’s not enough, Channie. I wann’it. All of it.”

He grins, glancing back  at you again. “You can have it when we get home. I’ll fuck you real nice and slow, just how you like it, yeah? Make due for now.” He taps your thigh with his pinky. “Spread, doll.”

You legs spread open instinctively and you feel the stretch of his third finger almost immediately. Your head tips back, shirt falling forward again when your hips buck up to meet it. “Ohh my Go-hnnm—”

“Yeahh,” His eyes are glued to where his fingers pump in and out of your slowly. “See? Good enough for now. Hold up your top f’me pretty, can’t see the view.” 

You’re about to do just that, when the jangaling of the doorknob makes both of you jump. 

“What the–” Jisung. “Chan, did you lock the door?”

You can’t help the small whine that leaves your lips when Chan withdraws his fingers from you completely. He leans over to tug your shirt down fully and when he moves to help you pull up your shorts, you lift your hips to help, albeit it half-heartedly. 

“Sorry baby,” He kisses the corner of your lips soothingly. “Shouldn’t be much longer, I promise.”

“You said that ages ago,” You mumble, but fix your hair anyway. You’ve never hated Jisung more than you do now but you’d still rather not traumatize him. Especially after the last time he walked in on you two.

Chan walks over and swings the door open, smiling easily at Jisung. “Was the door locked?”

Jisung looks between you two suspiciously, the takeout he had left to get dangling from his fingers. “Obiviously. I know how to open a freaking door. What were you two doing?”

“Nothin’,” Chan makes a show of turning the knob a few times. “Huh. Weird. Must be the new auto-lock they installed yesterday.”

“They installed an auto-lock?” Jisung asks, incredulous as he settles on the chair Chan occupied mere moments ago. You smile at him as innocently as you can when he hands you the food. “That’s the shittest idea I ever heard.”

“Yeah, I told them that too.” Chan shrugs, letting go of the door knob. “I can tell them to change it back if you want.” You squeeze your legs together slightly. Since when did you find liars this hot?

“Yeah, you do that.” Jisung squints at the screen. “What the fuck have you been doing, hyung? This looks almost exactly the same as when I left!”  

Chan leans one hip against the desk, all easy shoulders and calm smile. “Creative process.”

“That is not a creative process,” Jisung says, deadpan. “That is a blank project file.”

You duck your head, pretending to be very interested in the food in your lap so neither of them can see your face. Heat is still crawling up your neck, your whole body thrumming with frustration, and Chan—absolute menace that he is—doesn’t even look remotely sorry.

He just shrugs. “Maybe I needed to think about it.”

Jisung narrows his eyes. “About what?”

Chan glances at you then, quick and sly, and there’s something in his mouth when it curves that makes your stomach flip. “Arrangement.”

Your fingers tighten around the takeout container. 

Jisung, thankfully, only rolls his eyes. “You’re impossible. Anyway, they wanted me to tell you the draft from earlier still sounds weird in the bridge.”

“Mhm.” Chan pushes off the desk and steps closer, reaching over you for the drink you haven’t even opened yet. His knuckles brush your thigh in passing. Barely there. Entirely accidental-looking. Completely not accidental. “I’ll look at it.”

You shoot him a look.

He doesn’t react, just pops the straw into your drink and hands it to you like he’s the sweetest boyfriend alive.

You take it with a tight little smile. “Thanks.”

“Anything for you, baby.”

And then, because Jisung isn't looking and because he is absolutely sick, he raises the fingers that had just been buried in your sopping cunt mere moments ago, still soaked and sticky with your arousal and licked a broad strip up them, before shoving them into his mouth and sucking them clean.

Jisung be damned, you were going to jump Chan's bones right now.

He must see the slightly crazed look in your eyes because he grins, eyes crinkling and mouths, Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

You know he means it. Whether it's opening your drink for you or fingering you while he works just because you were feeling needy—Chan really is ready to do absolutely anything for you.

Which is how you know that every corner of your need would be fully explored and satisfied when you got home.

“I miss you”, you huffed.

Your phone was laying beside you in the bed, Seungmin on the speaker. He was gone for the tour and it had been a month since you last saw him. He had promised you to call you every night and he was holding it, each day at the same time you would receive his call.

Seungmin was down bad for you, but he would never admit that out loud. You’ve already made love confessions in your relationship and you were saying the magical three words occasionally, but he still would deny that he would stay with you on the phone until you fell asleep every single day when he wasn’t near you.

He tried to be nonchalant and you didn’t care about his teasing, it was part of him and actually kinda endearing.

“Aww, cute”, he said.

You paused, a grin tugging on your lips.

“Aren’t you- like.. missing me, too?”, you asked.

“No”.

You scoffed, now laughing out loud. You wish you could slap his arm for that like you usually did, but oh well.

“Wow”, you chuckled, “You could try to act like you do, at least”.

“No, that would be lying”, he added, you could hear the grin in his voice.

“Wooow”.

You pulled the blanket over your naked body, you were shivering. You actually had tried to touch yourself before he had called, it has been too long since you had been satisfied. Your fingers weren’t as long as his, wouldn’t curl the same way as his.

Seungmin laughed and your heart soared. You missed him and you knew he did too, even though he said otherwise.

“I have a gift for you, pup”.

You froze and held your breath when you heard that nickname. It was silent, the only thing you could hear was the blood rushing through your ears. You pressed your thighs shut.

“You still there?”, he asked, a change in his voice.

“Yes-“, that unintentionally came out a squeal.

He paused for a second before speaking up again.

“Take a look into my closet. There’s a black box waiting for you”.

A strange sensation crept up your body. From your aching pussy all the way to your head, making you dizzy. But you still stood up slowly, cautiously.

“A gift?”, you breathed.

Seungmin hummed as you opened his closet. Just as he had said, on the floor of it there really was a black cardboard box. Your heart pounded heavily against your ribcage when you bent down to pick it up, going back to your shared bed to open it.

He was silent on the other side of the phone, patiently waiting for your reaction. Your fingers traced the already opened box, hesitating for a single second and questioning what could possibly be inside.

You flipped it open, an equally black satin bag inside.

“Huh?”, you made.

“Hmm, go on, pup”.

You shivered again when he called you that. It was unfamiliar, but it was very welcome. You were kneeling on top of the mattress, you felt your pulse racing already.

You pulled on the string to open the bag, holding your breath when reaching inside.

“Minnie-“.

He hummed again. You pulled a vibrator out of the bag, in an almost taunting innocently white color. It was pretty long and nicely curved, and-

“Minnie!”.

“Do you like it?”, his voice was teasing, “It’s custom made”.

Yeah, you could tell. It looked exactly like your boyfriends cock. It even had all his veins perfectly carved into it.

“How do you even-? Do I wanna know where you got it from?”, you asked.

It was heavy in your hand, just like the original. You squirmed in your seat, feeling how wet you were just by thinking about his dick being in your hand right now instead of this toy.

“What do we say when receiving a gift?”, he cooed.

You groaned, needing to sit down differently to remain as calm as possible. You hadn’t intended to lay down on your back with spread legs, though. It was as if your body just reacted naturally.

“Thank you”.

“You’re welcome, pup”.

You physically jolted, literally whining because of that damn word and he really had the audacity to laugh about it.

“Could you just- stop calling me that?”.

Your stomach tightened when he said it again just to mess with you.

“I just thought it would be nice to have it when I’m not around”, Seungmin mused, “You’d let me watch you testing it, right?”.

You felt hot, just incredibly hot as you let your head fall back. You had never done something like that before. But.. you could try? He had a hotel room just for himself after all, no one to disturb you.

“Yes”.

You immediately got the invitation to switch to a video call after that. Your heart was sinking when you saw him. He looked too cozy for this kind of situation, probably just getting out of the shower before calling you.

“Are you already naked?”, he asked, brows furrowed.

You nodded, feeling the blood rush into your cheeks out of slight embarrassment. But this also led to you getting wetter, you could feel your pussy throb in anticipation.

“Naughty”, he grinned, shaking his head, “Were you touching yourself?”.

You nodded again, with a little bit more confidence now. You could see it in his eyes, the desire for you - probably thinking about the things he would do to you if he was at your side.

“It doesn’t feel the same though”.

“Ohh, did I ruin you? Poor thing can only cum around my fingers?”, his voice was strained, “Or my cock”.

The way he said this so shamelessly made you gasp, shivering heavily.

“Or your tongue”, you added.

Seungmin always knew how to pleasure you and he was more than willing to use every tool he could to make you feel good. He must’ve caught your dreamy gaze, now your longing crushing you more than ever.

“So you really miss me”, he laughed, “Don’t miss me too much, yeah? Wanna test your gift?“.

“You wanna watch?”.

He huffed, also blushing a bit because of the intensity of this moment. It empowered you a bit that he was already so flustered, just because of you.

So you used your ego boost to prep a pillow up right in front of you so you could lean your phone against it, basically presenting your bare core to him like this.

“Oh, what a view”, Seungmin groaned.

Your ears were burning at this point, but you still managed to spread your legs even wider, teasing yourself and him by grazing the tip of the vibe over your folds.

“Turn it on”.

You obeyed by pressing the button on the bottom and the vibrator came to life. The sensation was a bit weird but it felt weirdly good, sending little electric sparks up your spine to make you physically jolt.

“Does it feel good, yeah? Tell me”.

You were stupid enough to move it up and press it against your clit. The moan was ripped out of your throat without your will, you had to throw your head back to quiet it down a bit.

“Feels- so good”.

God, you wouldn’t manage to hold your orgasm back for very long like this. Not with him staring at you.

“I bet it does, pup. Rub yourself with it”.

You moved it up and down, over your sensitive clit and to your entrance - not pushing in but nudging against it.

“Min-“, you gasped.

He groaned at the way his name slipped out of your mouth over and over again. You didn’t manage to pronounce it properly every time, you choked on it. It was sometimes high pitched, some of them just a low growl.

Seungmin was losing it on the other end. Palming and grabbing his clothed erection with a grunt. Your breath hitched when you noticed, seeing how his arm moved and betrayed him. But it additionally made you wish even more it was his dick sliding in your wetness instead of a copy.

“Push it in, come on”, his voice nothing more than a grunt, “Go in slow, yeah? Feel the stretch”.

You did and it was crazy how similar it felt to him. The tip pushing in already made you whine out and just like in reality - Seungmin answered with a swear under his breath.

Your phone was too far away for you to properly look at it but you were sure he opened his pants to free his cock. He moaned, not being able to hold it in as well.

The vibrations made your legs shake involuntarily, you whimpered at the feeling of you losing control of your muscles although there still were a few more inches to go.

“There you go, pup. Slow and steady. Let me stretch you out”.

Oh, to think that he was there with you was a nice fantasy. Your other hand flew to your chest, grabbing your own tits in hope it would feel like him. It didn’t and it made you push the toy in faster to distract you from the ongoing disappointment.

The pleasure clawed at you so intensely, you were certain you almost came when it was fully seated inside.

“So greedy- Maybe you’d enjoy having both at the same time, huh?”, he growled.

You threw your head back, the back of your hand momentarily pressed against your mouth to ground yourself.

“Both?”, you mewled.

“Uh-huh”, Seungmin hummed, his movements getting faster, “Fuck, I can’t wait to come home. Gonna stuff you full with my cock and the toy”.

You bit your lower lip to muffle the moan which was fighting to get out. You jolted, pussy clenching and gushing around the vibrator so pathetically.

“You’d like that, huh, pup? I know you’d be so good for me”.

You were wet enough to pull the vibe out, gently guiding it back in.

“Angle it up a bit, yeah? I know you like that”.

You hadn’t anticipated to shove the toy against your g-spot so early but his words clouded your mind, you automatically did it. You writhed in your sheets, back arching off the mattress with the amount of pleasure.

“Fuck yourself for me- fuck-“.

You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning, getting louder every time you hit that sensitive spot over and over again.

“Min-“, you gasped, “Seungmin”.

There was a devilish grin on his face, so smug. It already made you want to wipe it off.

“Good to know I can make you scream my name even though I’m on the other side of the world”, he laughed, but it was hoarse - he was so close himself, “Say it when you cum, okay, pup?”.

You were desperate for your release, pushing the vibe in one last time and permanently pressing it against your g-spot. The vibrations against it were intense, but exactly what you needed. Your heart felt like it was on fire, pumping hot lava through your veins and lighting you up when you reached your high.

His name was everything you could think of, like you just forgot how to form other words in your brain. You instinctively wanted to press your thighs together, mimicking the tension in your muscles just like when you wrapped your legs around his waist. But he wasn’t there and you were determined to give him a good show, hoping he would cum for you like this as well.

Your sounds surely sent him over the edge as well, you noticed it in the way his jaw slacked, his eyes closed shut and he groaned so guttural, it made your pussy throb.

You rode out your orgasm to this sight, grinding your hips into your hand until it felt too intense. The vibrations were overwhelming you very quickly, pulling it out and turning it off.

For a moment you both relished in this moment in silence.

“I miss you”, he said.

“What a simp”, you teased him, leaning forward to grab your phone.

He rolled his eyes, still panting and pushed his hair out of his face. Your heart fluttered, both in the ongoing excitement and your adoration for him.

“But I love simps”, you cooed, making him snort and lean back in his seat.

He tried to hide it, but there was a very silly and blissed out smile on his lips.

“I love you too, pup”.

@isa-mi-aldini @rianzysworld @mieuracha @simpdemon1 @babybutterballl @deaddcrow @burntbang @rory-cakes @straystar-8 @honeyyyy21 @karlee10261990 @aiyanotfound @alex-rabbit @angelstarsthings @pineapple-burgah @a2dkive @smuttaburger @st4rprincess @bangingchanxx @kloversung @staarflowerr @emmalabo @minniebitesfr @vernorica123 @imoosgnaj @ye0lkkot @aziaraei @geni-627 @alexeclipse18 @rafesbunniebby @ghost-cas @vxyselectric @lizal1cious @spicypeppers143 @qxlvslx @floofeh-purpi @purdey-08 @angelstarsworld @ariaaleelynn @becrazy--beyou @hyunjinswife4ever @lostinmymind-daydreaming @ylstacy @hyunniesprincess @zerefdragn33l @skteez101 @bee-gremlin @evanesc3nce @sammhisphere @pineappleonmyburger

damn right it was—you werent gonna waste anytime, he could tell by the way you shoved him towards his room and against his bed “damn, no foreplay?” he breathed as your fingers tangled against the thin white strings of his sweatpants. “shut up.” you mumbled, starting to pull his pants down.

“ya sure you wanna go down on me, baby? that gag reflex of yours—”

“chan.” you glared, and he just smiled, so eager to use every second to get under your skin. god, was he annoying. he knew he was, the both of you knew it.

sometimes you wonder why you’ve been fucking him on the low. of course not during your relationships, but he was the only person there for you in the aftermath, the only one there to...comfort you, so to speak. even if that particular way was to be inside you.

“gonna suck me off with cute tears streamin’ down your face?” he brings a hand towards your hair, giving the crown of your head a light stroke, it’s soothing, feeling yourself start to throb just a bit more just from his strong, loud cologne that was scattered across his entire room. “look at me while you do, then. wanna see that pretty face.”

“your dirty talk is improving.” you chuckled, and hes the one glaring at you now—it's cute.

he wraps a hand around the back of your neck, bringing your face close to his white briefs. rubbing your face against his bulge and he grunts. “shame how you make me hard even with that bratty attitude of yours.”

he stares at you, watching you with close intent on the way you pull down his boxers just halfway, leaning in close enough to give his shaft a nice long lick, from his base to his very reddened tip.

“s-shit,” he grunts, and your eyes remained on him the entire time, on your knees for him while he sat up near the very edge of his un-made bed.

chan lets off a soft sigh—his legs spread just a bit, a hand rubs against his leg. your tongue softly swipes against the head of his cock and he nibbles on his lip to quiet himself.

“open that mouth. tired of waitin’, ” he grumbles, and he’s growing so frustrated, you can tell from his facial expressions and the way he kept shifting. “stick out your tongue, babe.”

you do, rolling it out, and chan grunts, wrapping his fingers around his dick before slowly slapping himself against your tongue. “think you deserve it?”

you nod as you looked up at him through your lashes, whines pulled from you at his consistent teasing, slapping his pretty glossed tip against your tongue.

“nuh uh,” he clicks his tongue, bringing a hand towards the back of your head to give hair a light pull, moving your head just slightly in a moving rotation. “need to hear you say you want me, gorgeous.”

what an egotistical jerk.

“i-i want you, chan. i want it..” you mewled, your thighs squeezing shut, and once you voice those sweet words. chan lets off a satisfied hum, using a hand to open your mouth just a bit before pushing himself inside.

“shit,” he curses, feeling you wrap your lips around his cock. your lashes flutter as you glanced up at him, and he's straing down at you—his abs flexing beneath his tank top, it doesn’t take long before his eyes start to go back, his pink lips opening just a bit to breathe and pant, grabbing a fistful of your hair.

“shit, with a face that pretty,” he huffs out, swiping a thumb across your cheek that's marked with tear stains “should be crying like this, not wasting those pretty tears because of some scumbag.”

you whined, eyes fluttering shut as he hit the back of your throat “eyes on me” he tutted, tapping the side of your temple and you’re just about weak in the knees.

even if it killed you to say it, he was good with his words. you knew you had to be careful though, chan wasn’t the type of guy to settle down in a relationship, he made that known the moment you two started your little 'fling.' if you could even call it that, friends with benefits.

“think 'm getting close,” he pants, and his breathing patterns change —he’s got a good strong grip on some strands of your hair as he watches you with dilated pupils. “fuck, doing so good for me,” his voice starts to get whiney from how sensitive he’s growing, falling flat on his back against the bed, hand covering has face

“c-cumming,” he grunts, shuddering, catching his breath as you look at him with half-open eyes. “swallow ‘n show me, baby.” and you did, sticking out your tongue as he whined at the sight, still catching his breath before leaning down towards you to squeeze your cheeks together. “now gimme a kiss.”

you whined, sitting up to kiss him and he wrapped a hand around your waist, tasting himself on your lips, his tongue dragged against yours and you whimpered before making your way onto his lap. he chuckled at your enthusiasm, sliding a hand up and down your waist

after a few moments, chan pulls away to breathe until both hands of his attach to your waist. his gaze was just enticing, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

“barely touched ya and you're nothin' but a sticky mess,” he grunts, and chan snickers once he feels you start to grind your hips against him

“chan—please,” you begged, aching and itching for him to do something, anything. he trails his fingers against your ass, no panties and all you had covering you, just barely, was a skirt. he grins, “fine,” he says, as you threw your arms over his shoulders “go, slow baby, don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“shut t-the fuck up,” you whined, barely able to keep up your facade.

“how ‘bout ya make me, hmm.” he teased, and he was so cheeky. you hated it, but then again, the way he fucks you always made up for it.

aligning yourself against him, chan sits upright with a cocky grin. “go slow, baby. been a while since i've—shit…” he pauses at the feeling of you sinking down on him. you chewed on your bottom lip as you did, immediately leaning into him to give him… a hug?

chan was just as surprised as you, it seemed you were acting a bit differently—of course you’d be.

you’d just gotten out of a relationship, and tended to be a bit more clingy than usual. not that he ever minded, he preferred you like this, so cute and sentimental, all in your feelings. but despite that, it was just sex and nothing more. right?

“fuck,” chan’s hair is messy, it’s all over his face, and dark stands splattered all across his forehead, so effortlessly attractive. he didn’t even have to do much to make you pulse between your legs. “quit looking at me.”

“but you’re so pretty when you try to take control,” he shrugs, flashing a cheesy grin and you’re just embarrassed. he was certainly enjoying this, getting underneath your skin. but you let him. every single time.

chan’s got such the cockiest grin on his lips as you maneuver yourself against him, chewing on your lip every few seconds to suppress your sweet sounds, he eyes you up and down

“speed it up, baby,” he grunts, spanking your ass once more and you whimper from feeling his touch press against your skin. “touch yourself while you ride me. give me a little show. show me what i’ve been missin' since you’ve been away from me for so long.”

“o-okay.” you breathed, bringing a shaky hand towards your body, panting as you rode him.

chan smiles, watching you start to fondle with your nipples that visibly poked beneath your tank top, rocking your hips against him back and forth to where a low grunt leaves from his mouth every few seconds.

you missed this. you missed him. perhaps though, in reality, you just missed how he made you feel.

yeah…. it was probably that.

“…g-gonna cum soon,” you alerted him, slithering your fingers down towards your throbbing clit. the stimulation made your eyes nearly close shut “aw,” he hums, gripping your hips to make you bounce harder on him. you whimper from chan taking such initiative, holding onto him as he’s drilling himself into you, leaning into his neck to softly nibble and suck against his skin. “mhm. i missed you too.”

you could hear such arrogance drip from his voice, and maybe you did miss him, just a bit. before long, you came and it was one of the best orgasms you’ve had in a long time.

and leans in, kissing you for a final time, it wasn’t as sloppy—more passionate and sincere, he even cuddled you after, his hand drawing circles on your back. and you couldnt deny the butterflies fluttering in your chest.

“chan.” you breathed into his neck as both of you came down from your highs. “i-i think i love you.”

he sits up with his toned biceps pressed against the sides of you before speaking in a low voice. “babe?”

“yea..”

you blinked twice and realized you were being shaken lightly by the shoulders. the realization hit you like a truck once you realized hyunjin was calling your name—he had a worried, almost pale expression on his face once he saw you come back to reality.

“hyunjin..?” you mumbled, in the same bed and still feeling dizzy from your orgasm that was pulled out of you because of...hyunjin?

“what did you...just call me?”

oh.

was it all in your head?

a/n: erm...am i too late for April fools? *is met with tomatoes thrown at me from the crowd*

it seemed like an alright idea at the time. your classmate was sweet, always offered to send the notes, greeted you as you walked into the room, said all the right things that made you believe his intentions were pure and good. and since you had officially ended your arrangement with chan, you were free to pursue whoever you wanted. 

so you did.

you decided on dinner, and he picked you up right on time with flowers, the false gentleman persona on full display. guilt was beginning to tug at you for entertaining him when you weren’t all that interested. 

that guilt was misplaced and short-lived, though. once he had paid the bill and you both quietly accepted that the date was over, he asked if you wanted to go home with him. it sounded gentle, but your rejection shifted his tone into something spiteful quickly.

this was supposed to help you get over chan, and at first, you could’ve almost been convinced that it was working. you laughed heartily, smiled genuinely, flowed through conversation easily. but his question wiped all of that away instantly, a pit settling deep in your stomach. because the last person you slept with is chan — the only person you’ve slept with in almost a year.

and as his face unfurled into disgust, you realized chan was right all along. all the times you’d mention your classmate sending you the notes unprompted or asking if you were okay on days you were absent told him one thing: this guy expected something from you, and he was only doing what he needed to get it. call it cynicism, call it intuition, call it whatever you want; chan was firm in his opinion. 

you had never listened, though, laughing at him for being silly and jealous, brushing it off like nothing would ever come of it.

if only you had listened. 

maybe then you wouldn’t be sitting dejectedly at the table he left you at, hardly registering the past few minutes. your date — your ride — had just up and walked off like you were nothing. like the past months he’s spent being the nice guy were just a ploy. they were.

too much time passes with you stuck in your seat numbly. you’re not sure you can will any of your limbs to move. your waitress even comes over and asks if you’re okay, all pity and soft smiles. she promises you can stay for as long as you need, but you know that’s only a comforting lie. 

on your way to the exit, you call the one person you know will always be there, no questions asked. no expectations. even after telling chan it’s over, he’ll come to your rescue whenever you need. because he’s nothing like him; he’s real in everything he portrays, and his kindness isn’t rooted in anything selfish or superficial.

before sex entered the equation (a mistake, perhaps), you were friends, so of course he still cares about you beyond it. but not in the way you care about him. not in the way that craves for more than just physicality, that refuses to be confined by rules and limitations. 

just in the way that you know he’ll answer. he picks up on the second ring.

“y/n?” he greets, voice a little groggy, and it makes your heart drop stupidly. he almost always naps after sex; he’s probably still laid up in bed with someone else, and here you are calling him because your date left you stranded.

it’s still nice to hear his voice, though. that’s how badly you’ve fallen. 

“hi,” you breathe out. “are you busy?”

there’s rustling on the other end and then his voice comes out clearer, more intentional. “no. no, not busy…just dozed off is all,” he assures.

right. dozed off. it’s not abnormal for a human being to nap, but your brain has already come to its own conclusions. you suddenly wish you had called one of your friends instead. 

“oh.”

you don’t try to hide how deflated you sound, and he notices right away. he can read you like a book without even being in your presence. 

“what’s up? are you okay?” he asks quickly. each word is laced with sincerity and it reminds you of why you fell for him to begin with. chan is caring, attentive, gentle (when he isn’t fucking you like he has something to prove). 

that same sincerity, coupled with the night’s events, brings tears to your eyes. you squeeze them shut to stop them from falling. “i’m okay,” you lie, “i just need someone to pick me up…you were the first person i thought to call.”

too honest. he’s either going to wonder why you called him first, or, worse, feel way too smug that you did. 

“where are you?” 

or he’ll just ignore all of the obvious questions in favor of the only one that really matters to him. the semantics can come later. it’s clear you need him, and that means he has one single priority right now. 

“at some restaurant. i don’t know, he picked it, and i—” you begin. in your distress, you can’t even remember the restaurant’s name. quite frankly, you never want to come here again, anyways. 

he interrupts you swiftly, latching onto one specific word in your ramble. “‘he?’” he questions, and you can picture his face. eyebrows furrowed, mouth downturned, staring right through you.

“yeah,” you say quietly, trying to avoid the inevitable. might as well get the hard part over with now. “that guy from stats.” the one you warned me about. multiple times. 

“y/n,” he sighs. he doesn’t even sound angry; he just sounds disappointed. which is ten times worse, because you can handle anger, but you don’t know how to navigate disappointment. 

“i’m sorry,” you mumble.

it’s the only thing you can think to say. you aren’t even sure if he heard it over the boisterous laughs of patrons entering the restaurant and the whir of cars in the parking lot. 

but he heard you clearly, and it broke his heart. “baby, don’t apologize right now. just send me your location and i’ll be there as soon as i can, alright?” he soothes, already shrugging on a hoodie and slipping on a pair of shoes.

the pet name rolls off his tongue so smoothly he doesn’t even realize he probably shouldn’t use it anymore. and he certainly doesn’t realize how it unravels you, your heart still fluttering like it did the first time he’d called you something affectionate.

“okay,” you pull your phone from your ear and oblige, “i sent it.”

he’s walking out his door and heading for his car shortly after, all of his movements on fast forward since you’re involved. you’re about a twenty minute drive from him and he curses internally, wishing there was a way for him to get to you faster. 

“i’ll be there real soon. wait for me, okay, pretty?” 

you nod like he can see you, and then the call ends, and you’re left with only the night air and the chatter of strangers. 

it’s a colder night, the wind adding a harsh chill that nips at your face and bare legs. there’s the obvious option: go back inside until chan arrives so you aren’t suffering unnecessarily. but you dread even the thought of stepping foot in there again, no matter how warm it may be.

so you stand in place, arms enveloping yourself to contain some of your body heat, wishing you had never fucking smiled at stats guy that first day in class. 

meanwhile, chan’s gripping the steering wheel so hard it almost hurts. he’s desperate to get to you, so he isn’t driving reckless, but he’s definitely taking the speed limit as a suggestion. 

truthfully, his friends would probably judge him heavily right now. you’re the girl he’s head over heels for that ended things just last week. there’s no reason for him to still be so whipped for you, especially to the point of picking you up from a shitty date with another man. he’ll never feel bad for being someone you can count on, though. not even when you left him feeling this empty. 

it’s partially his fault. he should have known he couldn’t do no commitment, no feelings sex with you. his friend — his beautiful, funny, stubborn friend. you’re different than the other girls he kept around for only days at a time. 

a twenty minute drive becomes thirteen, seven minutes shaved off by his haste and the lack of traffic, thankfully. you recognize his car the moment it pulls into the parking lot from all your past experiences. all the times he picked you up in it and all the times he fucked you dumb in it. 

“you look good, princess. shame it was for him of all people,” he says as you climb into his passenger seat. 

you roll your eyes and settle into the warmth, pretending to not notice his eyes dragging over you. “thanks,” you force out, “for picking me up.” 

not a thank you for the compliment, no need to let him know how much his words affect you.

“so talk to me. what did that asshole do?” he asks, jaw clenched. he’s tried to prepare himself for it, but he feels an entirely new wave of anger wash over him now that you’re right next to him. still an angel, the last person any guy should dream of mistreating. 

“typical asshole shit,” you shrug, hoping you’d seem less bothered than you are, “just walked out when i wouldn’t go home with him.”  

he’s quiet, fuming with anger but determined to not take it out on you. his suspicions were correct, and he hates that they were. hates that someone hurt you, hates that some idiot didn’t see how fucking lucky he was that you gave him a chance. 

“i told you that guy was a fucking loser,” he finally growls. it’s far more filtered than what he’s truly thinking. 

“yeah, i know. can we save the ‘i told you so’s for later, please?” you sigh.

the car comes to a red light and he looks over at you, face illuminated perfectly by the light shining through the windshield. you tear your eyes away because looking at him is a stark reminder. his hand comes to rest on your thigh as if he was silently telling you he’d always be there. 

even if you look away, he’ll remain in the shadows of your mind ever-presently. you proved that by calling him today.

you both glance down at his hand, and when you make no attempt to move it, a sly smile spreads across his face. “i’m not gonna rub it in your face, baby. you know i’m not like that,” he promises.

something about hearing the word “baby” fall from his lips now — no longer over the phone but right beside you — unsettles something you tried to ignore. the ease and confidence with which he said it along with his satisfied smirk makes the question tumble out before you can bite it back.

“did you call her that, too?”

utter confusion. that’s the best way you could describe his expression right now. because he is confused, completely dumbfounded as the prospect of there being any “her” that isn’t you. 

“who?” he asks, wondering where that notion even came from. 

there’s been no one but you for a year. no girls coming in and out of his apartment, no drunken kisses at parties. his friends have tried to introduce him to other girls, hoping to revitalize the “fun” chan they once knew; he’s cut them off every time, throwing out quick greetings before taking off to find you.

you have a chance to turn back. to tell him you were joking and that you don’t care, anyway. for some reason, you dive forward into the conversation that’ll either break you or your secrets.

“the girl you were just with,” you answer matter-of-factly. 

“what?” his body nearly jerks back in his seat at the absurdity, his hand yanking away from your thigh at once. “i wasn’t with anyone.”

it’d be difficult to fake a reaction like that, so you know you’re wrong. you feel stupid for letting your assumptions have so much life, but being in love with someone you weren’t supposed to be in love with would make anyone a little irrational.

“i just assumed…because i woke you up.” god, now you even sound stupid. add napping to the list of things that apparently have secondary implications. 

chan pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales deeply. you really drive him crazy — in the best and worst ways. “jesus, y/n, just because i was taking a nap doesn’t mean i fucked someone,” he huffs.

“god forbid a girl notices a pattern,” you attempt to joke, but it comes out flat. he doesn’t even crack a smile. 

“you just ended things last week,” he reminds, “do you think i’d move on that fast?”

are you supposed to answer that? because the answer would be yes, yes you do. you’ve seen it before, when you were just friends and he’d have a different girl on his arm every weekend. why would you be any different? just because you happened to be regularly fucking for a year — longer than chan’s kept anyone else around?

no. no way. chan doesn’t do relationships or commitment and he certainly doesn’t do love. that’s exactly why you were trying to bury yours so far back you could pretend it never existed. 

“wouldn’t be the first time,” you scoff. “plus, it was just sex.” 

the dagger that pierces both of you. ouch. you, because it’s such a horrible lie it barely can find a voice outside your chest. him, because he thinks it’s your truth, and that tears him apart. 

he pokes his tongue in his cheek and shakes his head in disbelief. “okay,” he laughs dryly.

“what? am i wrong?” you shoot back. there’s a breaking point only each of you can bring the other to, and you’re both nearing it. usually it’s a game, but right now, it’s a warzone. 

“yeah, you’re dead wrong,” he snaps. his intensity startles you, so much so that you can’t even register his words. “i ‘sleep’ after we have sex because it feels like the only way i can get you to stay,” he continues, softer now but still with a lingering edge. 

you tilt your head and pout, fully committing to the battle. and you’re not even sure how you got here — things just seem to spiral with chan. that’s how you went from fucking to falling in love, and how so many nights you went from casual teasing to being driven into the mattress. 

“aw, you want me to stay, chan?” you taunt. “wanna cuddle and hold hands after you cum so you can pretend you’re this lover boy that you’re not?”

“god, you’re so annoying,” he groans. you don’t even realize that the car’s stopped moving. the tension in the small space has completely clouded your brain. 

“please, go on. really making my night so much better,” you retort. 

now that he’s no longer driving, he doesn’t need to keep his glances quick and sharp. he can stare right at you as much as he wants, and he’s taking full advantage of that. because he’s all too aware of what just a stare can do to you. a man conscious of his own power is dangerous. 

“you’re funny, y/n,” he chuckles, but there’s no humor. “you asked me about another girl. why is that? if it’s just sex, why do you care?”

fuck. him. seriously, fuck him for always being right and always seeing right through you and always knowing exactly how to leave you answerless.

“i was just curious.”

he laughs again, and this time it almost sounds genuine. sympathy laughter. “you’re a bad liar. and you drive me insane twenty-four fucking seven,” he huffs. “yeah, i want you to stay. at least i’m honest. you’re always trying to leave so quickly, and sometimes i’m not strong enough to watch you walk out the door.”

his voice shifts to something raw and unguarded, and you wonder if you’re misreading this. but if he wants honesty, fine, you’ll give him honesty and suffer with the consequences after. 

“i leave so quickly because if i don’t, i’m scared you’ll see,” you whisper. 

“scared i’ll see what? baby, i’ve seen every part of you. what are you trying to hide?” he questions, practically begging. 

it’s almost comical how fast you two switch from sarcastic quips and meaningless insults to gentle vulnerability. this is the perfect glimpse into the past year — the desperation that often unfolded into something you couldn’t quite fathom. 

all the times he’d bring you a towel to clean up with and then fall back into bed beside you, draping his arm across you and drifting to sleep with a quickness you envied. and you’d allow yourself the pleasure of staying a little longer while he slept, praying he wouldn’t wake up to notice you slowly cracking.

you wish you could hate him. there’s plenty of reasons for you to. like him being so certain that you’d catch feelings (and seemingly doing everything in his power to assure that you do), or pulling you out of deep study sessions because he “needs you.” 

but he’s begging, and you can’t hate him when he begs. 

“the part that’s so fucking desperate for more,” you choke out. his eyes go wide and you can’t tell with what — pure shock, horror, relief? it doesn’t matter; the truth is out, and you’re letting it all spill now. “that’s why i said we had to stop. because we promised no strings attached, but somehow you knew i’d fall for you and you were right.”

“y/n,” he says sharply. 

you hear him, but you continue as if you didn’t. now that you’ve finally confessed what you’ve swallowed back for so long, your lips won’t stop moving. they’re greedy, taking every single word you’ve kept from them at the back of your throat. 

“so i had to end things. i know we were just ‘friends with benefits’ or whatever and i’m an idiot for catching feelings, but—”

he interrupts you again, louder now. “y/n,” he repeats, dropping his hand on top of yours as it rests on the center console. hopefully his touch would be enough to pull you out of your rant. and it is. you fall silent abruptly, the weight of your confession sinking in. “i was wrong,” he corrects.

“huh?”

god, you’re cute. confusion written all over your perfect face, mouth slightly agape while you await an explanation. but now that he has your attention, he’s finding it rather difficult to find his voice. 

you fell for him. just like he predicted. what he didn’t predict, however, was how fucking happy he’d be when you did. 

because he fell for you too. against his rules, against his own will, he fell stupidly, madly, wholly in love with you. and now he can't hide it anymore. he doesn't need to hide it.  

he takes one deep breath before beginning his own ramble — his final breath before everything changes. hopefully. 

“i was wrong because i told myself you were just another girl,” he admits shakily, “and you’re not.” you interlock your fingers with his, and suddenly it’s all too easy to keep going. “you’re the girl i’ll always pick up for. the girl that doesn’t ever listen and yet i love her more for it. the girl i pretend to be asleep with just so she’ll stay a little longer.”

you blink at him slowly. “you were pretending?” 

out of all the things he just said, that’s what you choose to focus on? his frequent scheme to get you to stay by playing pretend? if he didn’t just reveal that he loves you, he’d probably call you annoying again.

“not always!” he defends. “just…sometimes. did you really not notice all those times i was smiling like an idiot while i held you?”

“no…” you trail, and he can’t help but laugh. how oblivious you’ve both been. 

“shit. i guess we’re just two clueless idiots.”

two clueless idiots who broke the rules and hopelessly fell for each other. and you realize that now. 

“wait,” you begin again, “you love me? like, you’re in love with me?”

please say yes, you chant internally. 

instead, his lips curl into a smug smile. “are you not in love with me?” he teases. 

“don’t be a child.”

“say it.”

his hand is strong against yours, trying to squeeze the words out of you. 

“fine,” you roll your eyes, “yes, i’m in love with you, stupid. and the sex. mostly the sex.”

definitely not mostly the sex. it was a plus — a huge one, sure. but it’s not what made you fall for him. 

you fell for him during the nights when you’d stay and watch his chest rise and fall (which you now know may have been partially a lie). you fell for him when he’d answer every call and every text no matter how late or how trivial. 

“trust me, you moan too loud for me to not know that,” he quips.

nevermind. you hate him.

“chan,” you deadpan, and he leans in closer.

dropping his voice to a whisper, he adds, “oh, yeah. i’m in love with you too,” like it’s an afterthought. messing with you is too fun, even as you’re spilling your hearts out to each other. he mostly just likes the trouble it gets him into later.

“fuck you,” you scowl, but your expression softens quickly. he’s so close now, and oh how you’ve missed his lips.

“promise?” he grins, breath hitting your face as he speaks. 

when you kiss, it’s like everything you remember yet something entirely new. it’s a kiss that has something to prove, something to say. 

i love you. i’m so in love with you.

and when you climb into his lap and it only plunges quickly from there, it’s clear it’s not just sex. was it ever, really?

for once, chan was wrong. he does do relationships, commitment, love, the whole damn thing. but only for you. only for you would he break every single rule he’s ever set. 

Oh, how Chan loves how you love. And he loves how love tends to gravitate around you and settle like fog. More specifically— he loves how his boys love you.

If you’d thought Chan was the coolest person when you met him, his rambling about how he was a producer and singer (“of sorts”, he’d added, to test you)? You were the coolest person in his eyes.

He can’t lie, he put you on a pedestal at first. All your achievements you wore with humble pride, you were a little go-getter. The whole package— intelligent in both well rounded knowledge and your emotions, a barrel of laughs, and you were drop dead gorgeous?

Chan felt honestly sorry for anyone who didn’t have you in their life.

It was natural that you’d fit into his chaotic and unique life, symbiotic. You cooled him down and he amped you up. Chan wasn’t a lone deal, though. He came equipped with the accoutrements of seven boys he called his Kids.

It’s Chan’s favorite kind of night tonight. He so affectionately calls it “family game night”.

What started as the safety net of a small world of men saw a new face. Chan eased you into his life instead of thrusting you into the deep end. The boys were special to him as well. He’d hoped you loved them, saw how each of them was special. As he’d seen you in that same soft light.

Sometimes, however, the glow just becomes one big warmth. Like the present moment he’s in, watching you with a bottle of wine in his hand that he’s trying to open as you play a drinking card game with changbin and han. A collective thrum of energy.

The room sounds like Chan’s favorite sounds that he can never quite replicate in song.

Your unashamed laughter. Changbin and Han screaming at each other as they throw down cards. Hyunjin coming back from the bathroom and quickly plugging his ears to scold them under his breath. Lee Know drapes himself on the sofa behind you and asks you how to play the game, softer tone than the rest of the room.

Seungmin, Felix, and I.N. are cackling like hyenas in the kitchen, the soft sizzle of food being cooked combined with an aroma of spice.

A shot glass slam. The holler of voices. This is how it should be all the time.

Chan finally pops the cork, bottle between his legs before he pours himself a glass. No, scratch that… not for himself. He’s a lightweight— he wants to remember this moment like the rest of his dreamscapes. Chan pours a glass and leans back in the chair at the table, downturned lips of a smile appearing as he sees you hand your cards to Lee Know and explain the rules of the card game.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think there was a halo around you head.

Changbin tries to peak around your shoulder to see Lee Know’s cards, and you hiss, scolding Changbin who lets out a ripple of laughter as you cover his eyes.

Hyunjin points and laughs, high fiving you.

“Dinner’s ready!” Seungmin comes out of the kitchen where Felix comes out looking a bit like a mess, his hair frazzled. I.N. is grinning from ear to ear, calming his laughter down. Seungmin says your name to beckon your attention. “I made some meats without the sesame oil because you don’t like it.”

You’d said that offhandedly at last dinner. In fact, you hadn’t even spoken it directly to Seungmin. The fact that he noticed that makes a smile flourish on you.

“Aw man, you didn’t have to!” You dust your hands off on your jeans as you rise from the floor. The boys follow suit. They don’t know why, but no one ever really eats before you fix your plate up. A silent rule they just made themselves.

Chan doesn’t stand up as the boys file into the kitchen, clamoring about how good it smells and “ladies first” rules. In fact, when the boys are gone, he locks eyes with you. Soft and tender. Arms outstretched and knowing you’d come into them.

You find him like a magnet, standing between his legs, and his hand clasps around your wrist, tugging you onto his lap, where you laugh softly, arms snaking around his neck.

He hands you the wine glass he poured out prior. Claret. He knows you, and you take it as he thought. Watches your lips around the glass and how your pupils are all big and beautiful in your eyes. Like you’re drunk on love.

“What good deeds did I do in my past life to get this sight tonight…? Mm?” he whispers with a small smile, his lips coming under your jawline and drawing back. You’d think it was the rambling of a drunk man. But he’s as serious and sober as the plague.

His hand comes down to stroke your leg, the other cradling your torso against him.

“Maybe it’s cause you’re just so perfect in the present. Ever think about that?” you chide softly, tucking your head into his shoulder. The hand on your torso comes up to your hair, stroking with soft pets. Your words are wrapped in ribbon that reads, you deserve good. You are good.

“Mm… you tired of the boys? I need to straighten them out?”

You snort and shake your head. “I think they’re tired of me after teaching them that stupid card game.”

Chan hiccups a laugh out, his shoulders shaking. There’s a poignant pause before he resumes talking, His hand on your thigh sweeping softly and slow.

“They love you so much. Ask about you all the damn time… how you’re doing, when you’re coming over. Bit clingy if you ask me,” Chan grumbles that last part out, keeping his hold tight on you. You just press a placating kiss to his cheek and breathe against his skin.

You can already imagine it. Hell, sometimes if you sneak a look at Chan’s upturned phone, you can see the building up of messages from the Kids asking to see you as well. It started out with them being a little shy, almost wary of you. How did you manage to cut through all of their leader's reserves and walls? How does he manage to sleep at 1 AM instead of pulling all nighters now? Did you have ulterior motives, would you be good enough for the person who practically raised them alongside himself.

It took them meeting you once in person over a light affair of Korean barbecue and you were stamped with a mark of approval. The boys saw it in the way you talked about goals and aspirations. The way you carried yourself, your kindness and understanding. You’d only laughed when Felix accidentally burned you a bit with his tongs (though Chan had been the scolding one on your behalf).

Most of all, you talked about Chan in such a way that made them feel soft and mushy, a way they’d tease to Chan behind closed doors. You’d said your favorite thing about Chan was his smile. A bit cheesy, but it was easy to see why— their leader truly never stopped smiling in your presence.

Whether it was a teasing grin, wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes, or gazing upon you with lips so softly upturned you could almost miss it. Like he couldn’t get enough of you.

They noticed you called him “Chris” when greeting and parting from him with a kiss. “Chan” when recounting a story or laughing at his jokes. “Channie” when you felt comfortable in his presence and let him take the lead.

You made sure he ate and drank water. You let him be clingy and drop his weight against your side so you could baby him. Chan had put a cut of his meat on your plate, to which the Kids watched you both have a back and forth war of who deserved it more. Your chopsticks dropped the meat back onto his plate before he flicked your nose and set it back to you.

They saw that not only were you Chan’s priority, but Chan was also yours.

And all their worries simmered down.

The soft laughter and sounds of the boys piling food on without you and Chan is comforting. Hyunjin’s mumbled words about "still waiting for you" and Lee Know saying something about you not minding makes Chan’s dimples come through in his smile. Those Kids...

“Go get a plate. I’ll be there soon,” Chan softly utters as he takes the wine glass from your hand and places it back on the table. You shake your head and let your shoulders droop.

“You’ve been a stoic all night… Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Chan deflates a bit. Shoulders relaxing. While he’d tried to play off his reserved nature tonight as “taking a breather”, you saw right through it. He pinches the tip of your nose and you groan.

“Just wanted to watch. You handle them so well without me now. You're so adorable, you know that?”

“Duh— they’re grown-ass adults, not children.”

Chan huffs and raises a brow before shaking his head, his arms around your waist tightening.

“What I mean is that you fit right in. Not just with me, but… them. Like you were meant to be there. You fit into my life,” Chan stops his speaking for a moment and begins through his next words.

“I mean, even if they didn’t like you, which is impossible because look at you, I’d still be with you… But the Kids mean the world to me, too. And knowing that they see how special you are in the same way I do just… I can’t explain it…”

You let a moment go by, his eyes cast down to your lap as his thumb sweeps back and forth over the seam of your jeans. With a hum, you reply.

“You don’t have to explain it.”

A smile breaks out on Chan’s face. “There you go being so damn understanding. What are we going to do with you, huh?” He squeezed your sides and presses a chaste kiss to your cheek as you let out laughter.

—

“The food’ll be cold by the time they’re done. Can we just start without them?”

“Give it a minute. They haven’t seen each other in like… five days.”

“I think it’s sweet—“

“Of course you do, Hyunjin.”

The boys are sitting patiently at the dining table on the outside patio, plates and dishes of food laid out amongst them. They saved yours and Chan’s seats across from each other. Seungmin peaks his head to the drawn curtains of the sliding glass door, just barely able to see the silhouette of you and Chan together.

“They’re like a married couple,” Seungmin muses, pushing around his untouched plate. Lee Know twists the cap off of a Soju bottle and shakes his head. “They should just be married already,” he grins back, with all of the boys in agreement.

Chan would wear domesticity well. They know that’s what he needs right now.

“I know we say it all the time, but I’m… really happy for them. They’re good for each other and to each other,” I.N. says from across the table next to Changbin. “Noona was made for him, you know?”

“Maybe Chan was made for her—“

“Who made what?”

Their talking dies down as you walk through the door to the patio behind Chan, holding pinkies. Felix is visibly pouting at the sight, he can barely handle it. At Chan’s prompted question, Han speaks up first.

“We made dinner, remember? Someone’s getting old. Both of you, grab a plate!”

Chan gives Han a light smack on the backside of his head, and makes you a plate of food first. All of the boys just knew he’d do that. You smile and thank Chan, and he gives you a kiss on the top of your head. It all smells so amazing, you give your compliments to the three boys who worked primarily on it.

Finally, they all allow themselves to eat, the sound of utensils on plates, bottles and glass touching each other and on the wood surface.

And under the table? Chan’s got his hand on your leg, squeezing lightly every so often, just to ground himself. To know that what he’s seeing with your interactions is all real and that this hasn’t been some dream he’s sleeping through. Chan is a simple man. This is all he wants.

You look beside you to find Chan already looking at you. Your brows furrow and he shakes his head, tapping the tip of your nose before propping his head in his hand.

“I’m going to have the best sleep tonight,” he breathes out, eyes shimmery with joy. Changbin must’ve picked up on his words for you, as he points and loudly questions, “Sleep? You’re hanging out with us and you’re talking about sleep?!”

“She gets him to sleep all the time, Bin. She’s like a magician,” Hyunjin snorts before taking a swig of his drink.

Chan rolls his eyes and shows some teeth with a smile. You’re smiling down at your plate, unable to handle the compliments. After all, in your mind, you’re just being a regular girlfriend. Making sure he eats and sleeps, huh? If only you knew how hard it was for the Kids to get Chan to even take a minute of a break.

His hand comes around behind you, holding onto the backrest of your seat as the boys continue to talk to each other. Chan’s whispering comes close to your ear.

“My little magician, huh? That’s a new one… I think my favorite one they called you was my “miracle worker”. Has a nice ring.”

You huff a laugh and before you can turn your head to look his way? He’s planting a firm kiss on your lips that makes Seungmin gag as he fell witness to it. The rest of the boys dramatically follow suit. Chan pulls from your skin and feigns scolding to them all as you burst into laughter.

The Kids don’t mind at all, on the contrary. This look of love is good on Chan. Like there’d been something missing from their leader. They can see it clear as day when he kisses you, that this is where he’s meant to be. Where you’re meant to be.