hyunjae bear

You just needed to call him real quick to ask him what he wrote his paper on. You just needed a few pointers on your thesis if he was willing to help you, yet again, with an assignment that he probably finished the day it was released, unlike you, who always waited until the last minute.

That’s not what you got though. No, no. Instead, you’re faced with the fact that your new friend, the one who gave you his number while giggly-drunk at a party under the guise of just wanting to talk about schoolwork, is staring back at you with an entirely different look to him.. 

When he picked up your facetime call, you were expecting a tired-eyed, messy-haired, crooked glasses-looking Mark. That isn’t him at all tonight, apparently, with his shirtless self looking back at you, glasses off somewhere out of view, eyes hooded and dark. You were shocked upon seeing him appear on the screen. Perhaps even wildly and embarrassingly attracted to the man who you’d seen stumble over his own two feet several times on campus. You stare at him in shock, forgetting why you even called in the first place.

“What’s up?” He croaks with a voice coming out as sort of a hybrid between sleepy-rasp and something else that you can’t quite put your finger on. 

“I– uh. . .” You trail off, eyes focusing on the way his chest heaves out steady breaths every few moments. His hands aren’t in view, just his face, like always but–

“Did you need help with something?” He asks, eyes narrowing at you through the screen. He watches you intently, noting the tank top you had on and how it shows just enough for him to try and continue this charade. 

Great timing, he thinks. He didn’t even intend to answer the phone in all fairness, but you called mid-video and he panicked to close out of the call, mistakenly answering it instead. He was too close to stop, too desperate to ignore the fact that he was literally replacing every woman’s face with yours from those videos. 

“Yeah, actually.” You go to say, still staring at the way his chest moves with each one of his breaths. This call shouldn’t feel different to you, aside from the fact that you can see his collar bones and his nipples appear on screen every few seconds, but it does feel different. 

“Cool, me too.” He says back as casually as possible, still staring directly at your chest as he fucks into his fist a bit more with a tighter grip. “Can you back up from the camera?” He asks casually, as if it weren’t a weird request. 

“Sure?” You answer in question, setting your phone against the lamp on your desk and scooting back in your chair.

That’s when you notice, though further from the screen now, his phone shakes for a second and he lets out a sigh. Specifically, because he watches your legs come into view. A tank top and a pair of loose-fitted pajama shorts. Perfect. 

The question in your head went from ‘what did you write your paper on’ to ‘what is he doing?’. The fact alone that if what you think is going on, actually is, should press you on. It’s not like you’re not feeling weirdly turned on right now by the way he looks and moves right now. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, changing your voice slightly into something that borders around flirting. Only now, are you hyper-aware of how you look and how you’re sitting, so you’re quick to move positions casually, into one that clearly rides your shorts up your thighs a bit. 

You watch him bite the side of his cheek, eyes not moving from the screen and then you notice his shoulder moving. Listening closely with your airpods, you finally hear what he’s doing. Wet sounds, fast sounds.

“Mark,” You say his name in a slightly lower tone- leaning forward to get a closer look at him. “Are you. . . jerking off?”

The movement from him ceases for a moment as he ponders the fact that he’s been caught. It’s not like he’s the one who called you, he simply, accidentally, answered your call and instantly got so hard he couldn’t help but keep going. Deep down, he knew you’d probably notice, and his horny brain cares much less now than it probably will ten minutes from now.

“Yeah,” He sighs out as he closes his eyes and begins to fuck into his fist again. “Does that bother you?”

You, much like he did, pause for a moment to think hard about it. He’s never seemed like the type to do this, or to act so incredibly sexy when he’s feeling good. Never once had you considered what Mark would look like when his cock is hard and coated with precum. 

You scoot a bit closer to your phone this time, allowing your legs to leave his view for a few moments just to get a good look at his face now that you know exactly what he’s doing. The heat runs through you so fast after putting two and two together, you’d be stupid to be turned off. 

“No, actually.” You smile into the camera for him, eyes now shamelessly watching him and the way his face falls into relief. “You should–” You pause, waiting for him to focus more on you than what’s happening behind that phone of his.”You should let me see.” 

He pulls his phone back with lightning speed at your question, mumbling to himself as you watch him move positions in a blur of grainy images on the screen. You hear the crackling of him moving his blankets, pushing them off of the bed and propping his phone somewhere at the end of it. He’s not on screen anymore, but the anticipation of him actually letting you see it bubbles up inside of you in the form of wetness seeping through your panties. 

You look away from the screen for a moment to contain your anxieties about how much you’re curious and interested in doing this with Mark. 

“Look.” You hear his voice ring through your ears from the headphones. “Look what you do to me.”  he adds. 

You couldn’t pull your eyes back to the screen fast enough, analyzing the way he is in a laid-back, relaxed position on his bed with full view of his red, twitching, erect cock. You watch his fingers run along the base, and his face in full view from further back. This angle almost feels like you’re between his leg, being teased with his, rather big, cock right in front of you. 

He waits for a response from you, a hint of a sound, a word, a compliment, anything in this moment so that he can’t grip himself and intentionally fuck it as if it were you. He wants you to know exactly what you do to him. He needs you to know how much you drive him wild, even fully clothed. 

Watching him tease himself with his fingers, you nearly gasp at the way it twitches towards his hand as his fingers ghost over the head of his cock. You can see a small dribble of pre-cum at the tip and nothing would make you happier in this moment than to lick him until he is quivering under you. He’s big, lean, and it’s incredibly hard to form words right now, because you’re looking at a friend for the first time naked through a camera. 

You whimper, pushing your seat back so that you are in full view for him again. This time though, you slip your fingers under the hem of your shorts and spread your legs a bit from him. 

He didn’t feel the need to wait anymore for a response, that alone was enough. You’re on board with this, and he feels so high he could touch the stars in this moment. Mark grips his cock harshly, breathing hard through his nose as he begins to, again, fuck into the circle of his fingers. It feels more realistic for him to do this, to fuck his hand himself rather than be fucked by it, at least in a moment where he’s watching you struggle to act like you don’t want to finger yourself for him to get off to. 

“Are you going to show me too?” He asks, half moaning between his words when he tightens his fist. “Please?”

You nod, still staying quiet as to not release a moan that so desperately wants to come out just from watching him alone. Slowly, you remove your shorts and prop your legs up so that you can rest them over each arm of the chair. Mark can clearly see the warm, wet spot of your panties sticking directly to your pussy. If only the cameras of these phones could let him zoom in and hyper focus, he would be counting each fold that he wishes he could suck against right now. 

“God,” He groans out. “You’re really letting me do this right now?” It almost sounds like a plead of appreciation when he says it, and the speed at which his hand goes after he sees the spot is making you feel flustered. 

“Yeah,” You shyly muster, your hips swirling in the chair in search for a cock too far away to have right now. You feel desperately attracted to his hands right now, wondering if that’s how fast he likes it, wondering if you’d be tighter than his grip, wondering if he would lose control and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight.

“Wanna join?” he croaks, wincing as he grabs the base of his cock to keep himself from the threateningly fast orgasm. 

Not even a full ten seconds go by for you to hook your panties to the side and rub against your folds at a gentle and slow pace. You watch him, and he watches you. 

Mark looks like he’s going insane by the time you finally let go, closing your eyes and plunging two fingers into yourself at a quickened pace. He watches you so hard that he’s resorted to flicking his wrist, resting his hips so that he can imagine you’re the one fucking him. Imagine that instead of him, hovering over you and fucking into you relentlessly, you’re riding him and closing your eyes from the pleasure. 

“You sound so wet–” He chokes out, looking down at his painfully hard cock pulsing in his hand, and then glancing back at you. “Just like that,” He encourages you with a tone that tells you how close he is to breaking. “Can you fit another?” 

You oblige, pressing another finger into yourself and feeling the slight stretch send you over the edge. Your legs start to shake, and you shoot your head up to look directly at him through the camera. Before your eyes, you watch him stutter his hips and whisper out a small ‘oh fuck-’ before he’s letting strings of white paint his chest and belly. He twitches into it so beautifully, with his mouth hanging open and his eyes burning through the screen. 

~

Mark didn’t hesitate to talk you through your orgasm after his own, and now, after hanging up and flopping against your bed, you wonder how the fuck that just happened. 

The awkward, stumbling Mark in your head is no more, now all that you can think about when his name pops into your head is how hard he could probably fuck you and how good it could be. 

It had been pouring all day long and it was cold for a Friday in the middle of July. Rivulets of rain trickled down the glass windows of the train as the sky above continued to roar thunder accompanied by the lightning flashing brightly. Jeno flipped the hood of his hoodie up over his head and rested against the cool window before he closed his eyes in an attempt to take a short power nap. Lee Donghyuck, one of Jeno’s best friends of thirteen years, arranged a high school reunion at his family owned holiday resort because according to him, “We might be graduating college in a few months but I miss you guys a little too much.” 

Donghyuck’s reasoning behind this sentiment was valid. Unlike everyone else in the world who would die claiming you have the best times of your life in college, Jeno believed he already had the best time of his life in high school. He used to be the captain and the striker of the soccer team, bringing home hundreds of medals and trophies for three years straight. He was the star of his year with a 98% in his board exams and an offer letter holder of the top colleges in different parts of the world. 

He missed the life he was living at 18 and Jeno wished he had a time machine that would pull him out of the stack of his engineering papers and send him five years into the past. 

Life was simply not amusing to him anymore. Everyone moved away to different parts of the country and world for college, even Jeno himself after he earned a scholarship and landed himself in a top school on the other side of the globe. Jeno still had a hard time adjusting to the new people, environment, food and a culture that will never be his. It wasn’t like he hadn’t made new friends. He was a occasional visiter at the frat parties, he still played soccer, he still had girls and boys lining up for him but Jeno’s heart still longed for his hometown. Because of this, there was something about being back, especially with his high school friends. In the warmth of the place where he grew up and fell in love. 

The air was slightly humid even with the downpour, making it a little uncomfortable in the white hoodie Jeno wore — but at least he wasn’t getting blasted by the air conditioning. Na Jaemin rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder, sleeping peacefully with his mouth wide open while Donghyuck and Huang Renjun munched on roasted peanuts across the two of them. 

“Wake the fuck up.” Renjun groaned and kicked at Jaemin’s shin. Jeno was grateful his shoulder wouldn’t hurt anymore due to the most uncomfortable position he had been in for the past thirty minutes because of Jaemin. 

Jaemin grumbled beside him, rubbing at his puffy eyes. “Dude, please. I was doing my thesis even in the morning. Let me have this.”

“You’re really ruining our vibe right now. Here, have some peanuts instead.” Donghyuck offered his packet of roasted peanuts which he purchased in bulk from the convenience store at the train station. 

“Fuck you and your nuts.” Jaemin muttered, going back to his original position — head on Jeno’s shoulder. “Jeno is still a very comfy, portable head pillow.” 

Jeno really wanted to push Jaemin’s head off his shoulder, so that he could go back to resting his head against the cold window while enjoying the scenic view. The dark circles under Jaemin’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed and he had always known how much of an ambitious and hardworking individual his best friend from his diaper days was, so Jeno let it slide just for this once. “Where’s Yeonjun and the others?” 

“Yeonjun texted something a while ago.” Renjun peeked at Donghyuck’s phone. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck paused to open the messaging app on his phone. “He said they’re gonna be a little late.” 

Jeno stifled a laugh as he remembered Yeonjun always being the last person to be late. He was notorious for showing up 30 minutes early all the time, even during their early winter morning warm ups which Jeno loathed. “Times have really changed. We are living in a time and age where Yeonjun is late.” 

“Oh no, he is not the one who’s late.” Donghyuck paused to show Jeno his phone screen. “He said Yunjin and Y/N decided to join at the last minute so they had to go pick them up from two different locations.” 

His breath hitched at the mention of your name. A name he badly wanted to erase from the memories of all the years he cherished so dearly. Jeno and you go way back; he met you on the first day of freshman year and he truly believed he experienced love at first sight that day despite being an cliché romance despiser edgy teenager. Jeno finally had the courage to ask you out after a year of shooting heart eyes at you from the other side of the classroom and he found out you apparently felt the same as well. 

Soon, Jeno’s life with you in it became a scene straight out of the cliché romance-comedy films he once claimed to hate proudly. He believed he would never fall in love again, you were like his soulmate that he lived and breathed for. You were like his personal cheerleader as you proudly sported a jersey with 23 LEE JN at the back from the bleachers, make out with him in the backseat of his car after he exited the field as the star of the day, sneak him into your room at midnight — you two were the textbook definition of high school sweethearts and all Jeno wanted was to spend the rest of his life with you. 

Jeno knew he was utterly in love. His mother and sister knew he was in love. Something at the back of the 18 year old’s head said this was it, you were the one, despite the fact that Jeno’s first love was his comic book collection and you were the only real girlfriend he had ever had because the ones from middle school and elementary school don’t count as real girlfriends. Turns out the voice in his head was wrong and everything came crashing down one night. 

You cornered Jeno outside in the parking lot after the high school graduation dinner hosted by Renjun’s family and he woefully remembered every single second of that night. 

“I think we should break up,” Your voice sounded grave and something shattered in Jeno's eyes. “I don’t think this will work out. We are both going to college anyway.” 

“What do you mean? I love yo—

“Lee Jeno, don’t be childish. We are old enough to know that both of us want to enjoy life in college rather than living like this. We will have a 16 hours of time difference anyway. Do you really wanna stay with me like that? You could be dating someone else who isn’t behind your screen and I should do the same too.” 

Your words hit him like a truck. Lee Jeno. He was not your Jen anymore.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jeno remembered his eyes starting to sting at that moment, he started cursing at himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. 

You opened your mouth to say something but the words never came out. Oh, how Jeno wanted you to take everything back, even a little bit — the spark wasn't lost, it was only a bump which can be resolved with a simple head to head. 

“I…we should meet new people instead.” 

Tears gathered in Jeno’s eyes. He wanted to scream, he wanted to tear the world apart. But deep down, he knew you were probably right. Long distance relationships rarely ever work out, that’s what the stories online always told him. He had always seen several posts on forums about how the partners would stop putting effort and he was scared he would become the partner in question. He was terrified of letting you down. Wasting your time was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Is…is a hug okay? Then I'll leave you alone, I promise, Y/N.”

Jeno put his arms around you for one last time that night. He tried to stay, to savour the moment, but you teared out of it moments later, like you were trying to not to forget yourself within the embrace. That was the last he had heard from you before he became a jaded mess. You blocked him on each and every social media platform the day after, your mutual friends refused to talk about you and it wasn’t long before he flew to California for college himself, leaving half of his heart behind. 

“Did they miss the train?” Jaemin spoke with his eyes still closed which startled Jeno. He had probably missed half of the conversation, too caught up in his thoughts. 

Donghyuck shrugged. “Yeah.” 

Jeno never bothered, or should he say, he never dared to ask your mutual friends or even dig for your whereabouts after that night. A crazy obsessed ex was the last thing he wanted people to deem him as. All he was aware of was the fact that you were going to the college just 2 hours away from the beloved hometown in the city — a decision you took with him beside you at the computer café beside school.

“How’s Y/N nowadays?” Jeno knew he would earn a few odd stares from his friends beside him but hey, they were his best friends after all. “I mean, you kn—what?” He paused when the three of them glared at him. 

“It’s okay man, we know.” Jaemin dramatically patted his back. “She works as a journalist."

“Oh.” Jeno nodded, sitting back comfortably in the seat. “That's nice.” 

“Yeah.”

“She doesn’t have those dyed blonde tips anymore.”  

Jeno nodded again. 

“She broke off her engagement.”

“What?!” All of them exclaimed in unison and turned to Jaemin who is equally as confused as his friends as they continue to glare him. “When the hell did that happen?” 

Jaemin shrugged. “I might’ve made that one up for the dramatics but she did break up with that med school guy she was dating.” 

“Wait,” Jeno squinted his eyes and finally looked up for the first time ever since this entire conversation had started, looking visibly annoyed and completely pretending like he had just not heard about an ex boyfriend of yours. “Why are you all talking like a Y/N facts generator?” 

“Well, we’re just informing you that your baby with exactly two red heart emojis i—

Jeno comically put both of his hands to his ears, “I don’t wanna know, thank you!”  

“What's a baby with two red heart emojis?” Renjun inquired in a whisper, a failed attempt at making sure Jeno doesn’t hear him. 

“That’s how he had Y/N’s number saved on his phon—ow!” 

Jeno hadn’t rested much, his thoughts kept him awake for most of the night before he actually managed to fall asleep in the comfort of the air conditioned room by the sea. His thoughts were all over the place throughout the night — starting from his thesis, his internship, his flight back to California, the gifts for his parents that sit in the drawer of his flat because he forgot to bring it back to his hometown and you.

You had slipped out of Jeno's mind at some point during his second year in California. He was preoccupied with studies, building up his resumé and even made a comeback in the dating scene after his roommate set him up for some blind dates. Unfortunately for him, Jeno still couldn’t fit in but thankfully you didn’t occupy all of his thoughts anymore. Now the thought of you suddenly after four long years made him sick as he realised you were probably the only person in the entire universe who truly knew him. Not the Jeno who was the goody two shoes of his parents, the soccer superstar on the field, the Maths and Physics genius of the class. But the Jeno, who danced to One Direction and Justin Bieber's hit songs in his bedroom and aspired to be a dad of at least ten stray cats despite his raging allergy to fur. 

Jeno’s palms covered his eyes for a minute. Damn it, he forgot to draw the curtains last night and now the sunlight was killing his eyes. He pushed the duvet aside with a groan that required a big effort, but as soon as he was standing up energy flooded him. He had always been an active morning person but right now he would rather die than go to hit the gym.

The corridor outside was pin drop silent. The comforting sound of the waves and the seagulls squawking outside resonated in his room. The doors to his friend’s rooms were all closed. He knew the others and you had already arrived sometime later in the night due to the do not disturb sign hanging at the doors. Jeno looked at his reflection in the mirror — hair, a messy mop on top of his head and dark circles prominent below the tired looking puffy eyes.

Jeno heard giggles and commotion outside in the corridor when he got out of the shower with just the towel hanging at his waist. Everyone was probably going downstairs for the buffet breakfast, he thought. The commotion outside persisted as he changed into sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. He could hear Jaemin spewing something hilarious and the infamous laugh of Seoyeon which rang in his ears after so many years. 

He could feel the bile rising to this throat as he stood behind the door and contemplated opening it. Either he had to wait here like a loser and be served with cold omelettes and porridge later or run into you and turn himself into an anxious, stuttering mess. Jeno didn’t even know what had him acting like that — he was an adult, he should know better than acting like this. He would’ve had to see you inevitably anyway, so what was the point? 

“Is he awake?” 

It was a mistake. He opened the door slowly to prevent Jaemin from knocking on the door violently and Jeno was immediately met with him and Seoyeon in the corridor right in front of his door. “I’m very much awake! Thank you.” 

“Woah?” Seoyeon gasped dramatically.  "So, I wasn't seeing things when I saw a whole different person on Instagram."

“He goes crazy with the strength training.” Jaemin remarked. 

Seoyeon’s shorter figure stood in between Jeno and Jaemin as she put her arms around both of their shoulders. “Obviously you would know that’s your boyfriend.” 

Jeno raised his eyebrow. “Not even a good morning?”

“Yeah, Jeno is my boyfriend of 15 years.” Jaemin replied nonchalantly, making both Jeno and Seoyeon stop in their tracks beside him. “What?”

“I’m your what of what?” 

“Jeno and Jaemin, this is the 21st century.” Seoyeon turned around and grabbed both of the men by their shoulders. “Be who you are!” 

The door on the left side of the corridor opened and your head peeked out with a grin on your face and Jeno wished he had left his room five minutes later. He could feel his head spinning as soon as he saw the smile that never failed to erupt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. You looked so different yet so graceful now despite having the same smile that he had fallen for years ago. The wide corridor with the huge window with a view of the sea at the end suddenly made him feel claustrophobic and the sounds of Jaemin and Seoyeon bickering were nothing but some pure background noises. 

You looked just as breathtaking as Jeno had always remembered. You were still the prettiest being he had ever laid his eyes on even in a cropped blue t-shirt and white shorts which you were wearing right now. Your eyes met his and suddenly Jeno was 17 years old again walking you home after school and kissing you behind your father’s back. It had been four, almost five years of no calls, and despite the fact that Jeno agreed to move on after the mutual break up, he was still heartbroken. 

“Good morning, Y/N!” Jaemin grinned and winked, greeting you just as you joined him and Seoyeon ahead of Jeno. 

You beamed, “Good morning!”  

Oh, how much Jeno had missed your voice. 

Jeno kept walking slowly behind the three of you. The fact that you were probably ignoring him on purpose didn’t go unnoticed to him. And it was probably so entertaining to others, especially Jaemin, who could read Jeno like an open book when he halted as you suddenly turned around to greet him. “Hey.” 

“Hey!” It was accompanied with an awkward small wave and an equally awkward smile. Very awkward. The tropical fruits waiting for him downstairs were the last thing on Jeno’s mind right now. At this point he even regretted purchasing that $1400 round trip ticket to his hometown. His cheeks heated up and turned into a shade similar to one of a ripe tomato when he heard you giggle because of him. Jeno quickly tried to refocus on what Seoyeon was saying but it was near impossible. Not with you walking just a few feet away from him.

It took Jeno a while to realise you had stopped walking, just to match the slow pace of his as Jaemin and Seoyeon continued to walk away towards the elevator. “How are you?” He heard you say before he turned around to face you.

Great. You had the audacity to ask him that after breaking up with him on a random night. 

“Good. I guess.” He replied snarkily. “How are you?”

“Very miserable.” The grave in your voice makes him panic for a second before he realises something — the lack of interaction over the years made Jeno forget how honest you could get sometimes and he couldn’t hold himself back from chuckling this time. “Why are you laughing at my misery?” 

“I’m not.” Jeno made out the words in between his laughter. “Why are you miserable?” 

“Journalism isn’t fun, Jeno. I’m telling you.” 

“I see, we’re in the same boat.” Jeno pushed the button to the ground floor on the elevator. Jaemin and Seoyeon were not slick when they took the stairs and left him behind with you, probably an elaborate planning of Jaemin. “My back hurts from sitting in front of the computer all day.” 

“Adulting sucks…” Your voice trailed off. “How’s California treating you?” 

Jeno tsked and a small sheepish smile appeared on his face. “It’s the same cycle everyday from gym to class to library to back home again. I just can’t adjust like that. Everyone’s very….rowdy.” 

“Yeah, that was never your thing.” You gave him a wide tight lipped smile after exiting through the elevator doors. The table at the restaurant was already filled with only two seats remaining at the end. All of your friends were already devouring the eggs or the porridge while the others hovered around the buffet selections. Sudden commotion erupted in the room as everyone greeted the two of you with the biggest grins on their faces, seemingly ignoring the fact Jeno just walked in while talking to his ex. So, it was really just him who was still dwelling in the past because you looked unfazed as well. 

You spot Seoyeon and Yunjin waving at you, pointing at the empty chair beside them from the table and you turn to Jeno apologetically, “I’ll see you around then. I’m kinda starving right now so…”

“Ye— me too.” 

Jeno sighed to himself when you walked away, looking back and forth till his eyes focused on the cereal, fresh cut fruits and granola station. He had never been into the craze behind heavy breakfasts to begin with — during his first month in California, his American peers introduced him to iHop and let’s just say, he had developed a distaste for pancakes and waffles that day. 

With a plate of omelette and a cup of plain greek yogurt topped with bananas and granola, Jeno now stood in front of the frosted juice dispensers, contemplating between apple and orange juice. 

“I see you’re still a big fan of yogurt.” Your voice spoke from behind him, with a plate of cheese omelette and toasted bread with raspberry jam in your hand. Jeno suddenly remembered how much you love warm toasted bread with butter. 

“Easy protein consumption for me everyday.” Jeno replied wryly, earning a chuckle from you. “I’m too lazy to cook chicken breasts or make those magic protein shakes every morning.”

“I always knew you would turn out to be a gym bro.” You remarked, making Jeno blush for the third time within the past 15 minutes. 

Jeno furrowed his brow and squinted his eyes in amusement, “I look like a what?” 

“Half of us have already finished eating, c’mon now!” Yeonjun's voice suddenly spoke humorously behind and he immediately shoved the two of you aside before filling up two empty glasses with the icy cold apple juice from the frosted dispenser. Jeno groaned internally — as someone who had always been into fitness and working out since the age of 16, he really wanted to know what you thought of his transformation now. 

You shared a look with Jeno, a look of awkwardness like the two of you are 17, just got caught kissing behind the bleachers and a look of reassurance like you are about to handle a situation like a pro. Handing Jeno your plate of omelette and bread before he could even process anything, you turned to Yeonjun with a mischievous grin on your face. “Where’s Yeji?” 

Yeonjun groaned, “Fuck off.” 

“Wait, you guys broke up?” The way Jeno got shocked was probably comical and both Yeonjun and you couldn’t stop laughing. “Why are you both laughing? I’m serious!” 

“Ah, the American Dream got to him.” He sighed dramatically, nudging Jeno in the chest with his elbows. “Yeji is sleeping like the dead upstairs.” Yeonjun finally fetched the two frosted glasses of apple juice and made his way to the table. 

Jeno was visibly confused and annoyed at the same time. Did he say something wrong? Or was he delved into his academics so much that he forgot to check up on his friends? It was partially true, Jeno rather blamed the 16 hour difference of time and his immense academic pressure. He also never understood why people associated him with that “American Dream” term when one of his goals in life was to get his degree and book a one way ticket back to his hometown immediately.

“They got engaged in the spring.” You replied nonchalantly as you waited for your glass to fill up with the cold orange juice. 

Jeno was pleasantly surprised. “Oh. I wasn’t aware of that.” 

Shrugging, you started, “He rented out a cherry blossom park.” You paused to take a sip of the cold beverage and continue again, “It was cute. She was bawling her eyes out in all the pictures I saw online.” 

"Oh wow." Jeno had a contented smile on his face. “I'm very happy for them.”

You gave him a nod and a concluding smile, walking away before he could speak any longer. Donghyuck gave him a tight lipped smile from his seat and it fianlly hit Jeno that he talked a little too much with his ex from four years ago at 9 in the morning. 

Jeno stood by the infinity pool right by the ocean and closed his eyes to feel the salty breeze on his face, basking in the short moment of serenity before the chaos of his friends arrived from the changing rooms. It felt nice to be on a short holiday for the first time in years, away from the stacks of engineering papers and assignments. Seeing and talking to you after so many years didn’t affect Jeno as much as he thought it would — after all, you both dated throughout high school and who took those relationships seriously when they were about to graduate college and step into the real world?

His short moment of peacefulness and tranquillity was cut short when everyone started arriving, now changed into their swimming attire, inducing commotion which Jeno never had complaints about. Donghyuck made his way towards him with a Cheshire cat smile on his face and put one arm around his shoulder. 

“What?” 

“You’re swimming with us, right?” 

Jeno nudged Donghyuck, “Hmm, you go ahead.”  

To say the pool was huge would probably be an understatement because it was massive, as well as the whole resort. There was a poolside bar that served all sorts of cocktails and another bar in the middle of the pool to keep the customers satisfied both in and out of water. Donghyuck’s family wealth never failed to make Jeno’s drop — his first shock was when Jeno was 13 and he discovered Donghyuck’s one month worth of pocket money was more than what Jeno got in six months. However, Donghyuck was never the textbook definition of rich brats like how the cliché movies go and Jeno was more than grateful to have a friend like him for years. 

“Lee Jeno!” Yeonjun called as he walked out of the changing room in his new swim trunks and a pair of sunglasses with Yeji and Renjun behind him. “Swim with us?” 

Jeno didn’t have the guts to say no to an overexcited Donghyuck but he didn’t mind saying the same to Yeonjun. Contrary to popular belief, Jeno wasn’t into all sports and swimming was one activity he was never fond of. Jeno despised the taste and smell of the chlorinated water and he often kept himself entertained with the drinks at the edge of the pool during pool parties. “I‘ll just watch and chill from the sidelines while enjoying a drink!” 

The sun shone brightly above and everyone was going crazy in the pool. Maybe it was the fact that it was like a mini reunion after years but everyone was happy and Jeno couldn’t stop himself from smiling. The water was splashing all over the place, the screams of joy, Jaemin capturing all the moments in his camera because he was a germaphobe who absolutely hated the idea of getting into the pool and Jeno was enjoying all of it — even the occasional splashes towards him and drink at the bar stool. 

“What’s that drink?” Your voice would have jumpscared Jeno if he hadn’t already seen you making your way towards the bar after getting out of the pool. “It’s so hot today even though I was down there just now.” 

“It’s kinda cool here.” Jeno pointed at the stand fan in the bar and it took you less than a second to make yourself stand directly in front of it whilst fanning yourself. Your hair was wet as you sported a black one-piece bikini with a cut around the sides. Jeno knew it would be inappropriate to stare so he looked away before you noticed him. 

“These drinks have some unexceptional fancy names.” Jeno chuckled, eyeing the handwritten menu on a black board instead to figure out which exotic drink he had ordered. “It’s called a Pineapple-Sake Sangria with Jalapeño.” 

You gently pushed your sunglasses up and turned around to face Jeno, drying your hair with a towel in front of the fan. “Pineapple with jalapeño?” 

“Yeah.” He glanced at the pineapple wedge. “Should I order one for you?” 

“Do they have anything else?” 

“Hmm, wait.” Jeno scanned the handwritten beverage menu again. “Strawberry Lemon Mojito and Cucumber Margarita sounds like something you would like.” 

You beamed. “Cucumber Margarita for me then!” 

The cocktail was served rather quickly and Jeno sneaked in an order of club sandwich as well because one, he was kinda hungry and two, he knew someone would come and steal a few bites from him so wasting food was out of the sight. Turns out it was you who decided to steal the fries on the sides while sipping on the cocktail. 

“Potatoes are the best thing that has happened to the human race.” You extended your hand towards the plate to dip the fries in your hand in ketchup. “Hash Browns, mashed potatoes, french fries. Potatoes are so versatile.” 

Jeno’s smile grew wider and wider at your child like excitement and remarks. “Potato croquettes are the best out of all. Mashed potatoes come second.” 

“Boring. You don’t like curly fries anymore?” You took a sip of the icy cold cocktail and questioned him. 

“I won’t lie, I think I got tired of it at some point.” 

“I remember your obsession with curly fries and mayo from that fried chicken place near school. You know, the one that had soy honey chicken.” You snorted and Jeno did too. He would’ve teased you for remembering that but it was really one of Jeno’s personality traits at 16 and he would’ve been rather upset if you had forgotten such a crucial detail. “That place closed a year after our graduation.” 

“Oh.” Jeno’s shoulders slumped. “Too bad.” 

“Yeah. Too bad.” You gave him a sheepish smile in return. “That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve ever tried croquettes.” 

Jeno didn’t want to reply with his mouth full so he waited for a few seconds to swallow the contents quickly. “I tried those in Japan last year. They served it with a sauce which was very, very new to my taste bud but I was genuinely amazed.” 

“You visited Japan?” 

“Hmm,” Jeno nodded. “Summer school at a university in Tokyo. I was just there for just a month, so I spent more time looking at skyscrapers around Shibuya and less time doing all the tourist-y stuff.” 

You smiled with intent as you popped another fry dipped in ketchup into your mouth. “Did you at least see the cherry blossoms?” 

Jeno laughed lightly and waved in denial, making you smile again. “I was there in August and let me tell you, I was very close to evaporating. So, no cherry blossom sightings unfortunately.” 

“Since when do you hate bacon as well?” You narrowed your gaze at him, watching him remove the tomatoes and bacon from the club sandwich cuts on the plate. Remembering Jeno’s irrational hatred for tomatoes, you were puzzled with the way he was intently dissecting the sandwiches and removing both the thinly sliced tomatoes and bacon.

Jeno tittered and lightly pushed the plate towards you, still containing the fries that he had left all for you and two cuts of sandwiches with the tomatoes and bacon removed. “For you. I still love bacon.” He picked up the greasy bacon from the plate and took a bite out of it to prove his claim. 

“Woah, thank you.” You said with a wide, happy smile. It was kinda funny to Jeno that your eyes still lit up when you were offered food. “I didn’t think you would rememb—

“Jeno! Y/N!” Yunjin’s voice rang through Jeno’s ears and before he could register it, both you and him were splashed with the water. Jeno regretted taking off his sunglasses at that moment after the water had gotten in his eyes and he noticed you escaped the sudden water splash attack, thanks to your sunglasses. “What are you both gossiping about?” 

“Yunjin!” Jeno exclaimed, suddenly laughing. “Fuck off, both of us are trying to eat here.” 

“Eat what?” Jaemin must have some powerful senses of hearing because it didn’t take long for him to catch onto the fact that Jeno is snacking on something from the other side of the massive pool. Jaemin placed his camera beside you. “Wait, it’s very breezy here. Why was I sweating out there willingly?” 

You looked at Jeno with a questionable look on your face and the two of you turned to Jaemin and shrugged together at the same. “I didn’t know.”

“Are you both cool with each other now?” Jaemin inquired, not bothering to look at the two of you as he carefully tapped on the buttons of his camera. “If someone told me I would see Jeno and Y/N talking 2 months ago I would ha—

“Why?” You interrupted him with a chuckle. “We just dated in high school and even that was what,” You turned to Jeno and waited for him to finish for you.

“That was four years ago.” Jeno said, smile fading slowly when you gave him a sheepish one in return.

Jaemin didn’t seem like he was satisfied with your answer. It was vague and Jeno himself didn’t know for sure what exactly you meant. Jaemin was about to say something before he was called from the surface of the pool as their number one trusted personal photographer. 

“Sorry about that.” You said apologetically when Jaemin left. 

Jeno sighed and put on a forceful smile. “Forget about it.” 

You watched Jeno wipe the water off of his face and make his way back towards the stool at the bar beside you. “Are you okay?” Your voice feigned concern. 

“Me?” 

You nodded. 

“Yeah, why?” 

You hesitated a little before speaking, “I mean, your eyes, the contacts?” 

“Oh,” He laughed, genuinely this time. “I got lasik two years back. I’m not astigmatic anymore!”  

You laughed along with him as well to mask the sense of relief that just washed over you. “That’s great!” 

The third day of the holiday is spent at the beach sunbathing and being obnoxiously loud like high schoolers. It was a beautiful day. The sky was a perfect shade of light blue, with thick white clouds moving against it leisurely. The sun was warm on your face as the cool salty breeze soothed its tinge as you sat under an umbrella, away from where the others were having a very serious friendly match of beach volleyball. The air was dry though — like you were on a holiday in the desert. 

“You’re not joining them?” Yunjin asked while smothering a decent amount of sunscreen all over her arms and legs. Ever since your childhood, the idea of getting into the water at the beaches didn’t sound appealing to you. You’d rather go to the beaches to enjoy the view. 

“Nope, I’m loving it here.” You grinned. 

“They never grew up.” She gazed at the boys playing volleyball. Yunjin passed the sunscreen to Yeji. “Can you keep it inside my bag?” She requested before wearing her sunglasses and comfortably laid back down on the beach chair beside you. 

You squint your eyes together and raise one hand up to block out the sun to get a better look at your friends playing volleyball further down the beach, reaching for your sunglasses and lowering them down a little. You watched as Jeno pushed his hair out of his face. His eye smile appeared on his face as he laughed at something silly Yeonjun probably spurted out. Sweat dripped down his toned chest and you blinked as you realised you had been staring. Brushing some sand off your feet, you lie back down again.

Seoyeon wiggled her eyebrows. “I can see you gazing at Jeno Lee.”

“I am not.” You perched the sunglasses on the bridge of your nose. 

“I know he’s your ex but,” Yeji rested on her elbows on the beach chair beside you, “admit it. He is hot now.” 

“Yeji, your fiancé is right behind you.” 

“Can I not appreciate a man’s beauty now?” She retorted in her defence. “I have known Jeno since primary school and let me tell you — he looked like an adorable loser.” 

“Stop. He was cute.” 

“What?!” Both Yeji and Yunjin shrieked at the same time. “Woah. The ex-girlfriend has spoken in his defence.” Yunjin turned to the other two in disbelief. 

The air was hot with a slight breeze. You brushed your thoughts away and went back to basking in the sun, relaxing from the warmth. Seoyeon quietly sat beside you in the midst of Yeji and Yunjin being occupied with taking photos. “Y/N, be honest with me.”

You hummed. 

“Isn’t it weird to be around your ex?” 

You sighed and sat up against the chair — eyes shifting towards a shirtless Jeno as he sat on a towel on the sand further down the beach. “Not really.” 

“I think I get you.” Seoyeon rolled back to her original position. “It would’ve been awkward if you guys dated and broke up now. You know how things can get messy as adults…” She trailed off.

You watched Jeno and your stomach fluttered suddenly. The proximity you both shared earlier by the bread and jam station during breakfast wasn’t doing things to you. Neither was the slight scent of his cologne. But his chest drenched in sweat under the blazing sun?

You certainly weren’t ogling at it and thinking about how seductive and muscular he was looking just now. 

Maybe Seoyeon was right. 

You would’ve been very miserable if you guys dated as adults.  

Jeno hated his friends sometimes. It was a cloudy and breezy Friday morning on day three when Donghyuck decided to bring out his elaborately planned tour to visit the beach town nearby which had all the hawker stalls and local delicacies. All Jeno wanted to do was sleep in till the afternoon after consuming all those bottles of soju and grilled lobsters the night before. 

You were already there when Jeno arrived, dozing off on the sofa. Jaemin walked in from the main entrance and joined everyone at the lobby a few minutes later after Jeno did. His face was puffy, the sunglasses were probably there to cover up his eye bags and there was a bagel sandwich with cream cheese and salmon in his hand.

Seoyeon squinted. “Where did you get that?” 

“At the bakery down the road.” Jaemin replied monotonously with his mouth full. 

“Get away from me before I throw up.” Seoyeon scrunched her nose in disgust. 

“Are you pregnant?” Renjun chimed in. 

“It’s not pregnancy.” Seoyeon groaned and glared at Renjun. “It’s the fact that I’m normal and I refuse to eat a fucking bread with a hole in it this early in the morning.”

“Weirdo.” Jaemin muttered under his breath, making Seoyeon walk past everyone and swat him multiple times, earning a few dramatic cries for help from Jaemin. 

“Weirdo calling another weirdo a weirdo.” Donghyuck nodded. 

“Shut the fuck up.” Both Seoyeon and Jaemin said at the same time.

“This is too early for me to be dealing with this bullshit.” You put your phone down and raised both hands to cover your ears amidst the chaos. 

The feeling of embarrassment still creeped onto Jeno once in a while when he would be around you. He couldn’t really put a finger on what ensued this feeling because you both were talking terms now, you grilled lobsters for him the night before and he was pouring shots of soju for you. It was still odd — Jeno didn’t have your number, you still had him blocked on both Instagram and Facebook and neither of you acknowledged each other’s existence unless one of you spoke first. Jeno couldn’t even muster up the courage to ask you to unblock him, or at least he liked to believe you would unblock him since you both pretended like long lost friends now.

The first few hours into this shopping trip turned out to be quite enjoyable, in terms of both the shops and everything they had to offer. Jeno unknowingly ended up purchasing a lot of useless things and a wooden flute which would later end up at the back of his closet in California — or worse, in his mother’s house. The tourist trap was not a myth and indeed a real scam because it seemed like people had fallen for it based on the bags everyone carried. It was now a burden to carry all these heavy bags filled with unnecessary items in the scorching heat but thankfully Yeonjun managed to track down an infamous ice cream place through Google Maps. 

“None of you are allowed to order mint chocolate.” Renjun warned. “Especially you.” He pointed his index finger at Jeno. 

“Me?”

“Yeah, you.” 

Jeno furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t even like mint chocolate?” 

“I don’t know. America can do crazy things to an individual.” Renjun’s comment made everyone and shockingly, even the servers behind the counter laugh. Jeno laughed nervously, hoping that this discussion would just come to an end and everyone would start looking at the ice cream options through the cold glass display. 

“Where’s Y/N?” Donghyuck’s voice caught everyone’s attention and Jeno scanned the gelato café to realise you weren’t present with the group. 

“I saw her at the pearl jewellery store down the road.” Seoyeon spoke up, “She was checking out the bracelet section and told us to go ahead.” 

Jeno looked away just when the sudden urge to exit this air conditioned café and stand with you under the sun came to his head. He was embarrassed to be around you but it was better than being the centre of an ongoing joke, which he had always hated as a known introvert. “I’ll go give her some company!” 

“Wh—” Seoyeon almost said something but Jaemin gave her a look and turned to Jeno, giving him a knowing sheepish smile. 

It didn’t take that long for Jeno to spot you. You were on the opposite side of the streets, inside a pearl jewellery store just like Seoyeon had mentioned earlier. Jeno crossed the streets and it looked like you were looking through a long selection of pearl bracelets. 

There was a bag of wooden utensils in your hand and Jeno’s first instinct was to carry the heavy bag for you. That movement of his activated your fight or flight response at the possibility of pick pocketing and your apprehensive face faded into a sigh of relief when you realised it was no one other than Jeno. “God, I got so scared.” 

“Sorry. I should’ve asked.” Jeno laughed heartily, now carrying your bag in his hand. “What are you looking at?” 

“Just these bracelets.” You showed him a box of pearls and charmed bracelets. “I’m really confused between these two.” You held up two identical bracelets in front of his face. 

Now, Jeno just felt dumb and embarrassed at the same time because both of the bracelets, hell all the bracelets in that box looked the same. He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck as you eagerly waited for him to say something, “Are you gonna kill me if I say they look the same?” 

You frowned and swatted his exposed biceps, thanks to his sleeveless t-shirt. “Jeno, you can't be serious right now.” 

“Look at this.” You groaned in frustration and tugged his forearm to pull him closer so that he could get a better look at the bracelets. “This one has small charms in between and the other one is just pure pearls, no charm.” 

“Oh, I see it now.” It’s like a bulb lit up above Jeno’s head just like how it does in cartoon shows. “The one without the charm looks good.” 

“Same.” You giggled and unknowingly made butterflies rise up in Jeno’s stomach. Your laugh had always been like music to his ears. 

The two of you waited behind the counter as the elderly shopkeeper packed your bracelet and a few other charms and earrings you had bought for your roommates as presents. Your eyes gazed over Jeno's arms, scanning the contours of his toned biceps and noting the slightest glint of perspiration from the humidity under the scorching sun. He had changed a lot since the last time you saw him — he was taller and he was…very toned and muscular now which made you swallow a lump in your throat.

Jeno had grown up into an attractive man no doubt and he used to be also one of the most adorable teenagers you had ever seen. He was your ex and you had been in love with him once upon a time in your life, but now? Maybe not anymore. However, as you watched him, you were suddenly too aware of how attractive he was now. His lips parted into a smile and suddenly your toes felt cold as if the blood was rushing away from your body. 

Before you could entertain this thought any longer, Jeno glanced at his own arms first and then threw a puzzled look at you. “Is there something on my arm?” 

You laughed nervously. Jeno was very clueless sometimes but you were grateful for that, getting caught while checking your high school boyfriend out was not something you wanted to be associated with. 

“Nothing.” You were impressed with how confident you actually sounded under Jeno’s gaze, almost like you weren’t folding in half over the height difference, toned arms and his face just now. You cleared your throat, “I’m craving some coconut ice cream right now.” 

“You should go and place an order there then. I’ll catch up with you.” Jeno gave you a fond smile. 

Jeno really didn’t have to catch up with you because the man was done packing right after you exited the shop. He walked beside you quietly, the streets were less crowded now, probably due to the lunch break hours. He walked beside you slowly, the shopping bags in both of your hand’s rustling as you both walked towards the ice cream parlour. 

“What did you buy?” You tried to inquire about whatever was inside the shopping bag carried. 

“Oh this,” He turned to you with a smile. “Flavoured tea for mum. She might’ve threatened me over the phone to get rose and marigold tea for her last night.” 

“Aw,” You cooed. “Mama’s boy.” 

A perplexed laugh came out of Jeno. “It’s not like that!”

“How—” You paused and took a deep breath, “How’s she doing?” 

“Mum?” 

You gave him a nervous nod, unsure of whether this was even an appropriate question to ask out of the blue. 

“She’s doing okay, great actually.” Jeno’s smile just grew wider and wider at the mention of his mother. “Mum retired recently and she’s just living her life, you know. She drinks all these fancy flavoured tea, looks after Bongshik, Seol, Nal and does some gardening here and there.” 

You gazed at his face for a second and broke into a soft chuckle. “Bongshik must be old now.” 

“She is,” Jeno thought for a second. “She is almost 12 years old now.” 

“I also have a cat now, surprise.” You heaved a sigh. “Her name is Neko. She’s 10 months old.”

Jeno halted on the streets and turned to you in disbelief before breaking into a huge endearing smile. “You’re a cat mom?!”

“You got that right.” 

“I’m surprised.” 

You giggled. “Who would’ve thought?” 

“How’s your dad?” Jeno asked softly. 

“He’s doing great. I bought wine for dad yesterday.” You turned away from the pavement and looked at him. “Cellared red wine. I was threatened into buying one as well.” 

“From the market we went to yesterday?” 

“Yeah.” 

Inside the ice cream parlour was chaotic and it was a miracle that Donghyuck and Renjun hadn’t been kicked out yet. Jaemin took off his sunglasses and eyed the two of you suspiciously, fixing his gaze especially on you as you took one of the only two empty seats beside him. 

“Where were you two?” Yeji asked, nibbling on the straw of her chocolate milkshake. 

“Y/N did some jewellery shopping.” Jeno replied nonchalantly before you could. Some heads turned to you as if they wanted some form of confirmation and you simply nodded in return. 

“What did they have?” Yeji leaned towards you and asked after a moment. “I wanted to go check it out but it was so fucking hot, I felt like a melting ice.” 

“Necklaces, earrings and bracelets mostly.” You huffed, nibbling on the plastic spoon of your coconut ice cream. “I got a few necklaces and a bracelet.”

“Someone lock Jeno up, he just got matcha ice cream!” Donghyuck scrunched his nose in disgust as if it was the nastiest thing on Earth. Jeno laughed and shoved a spoonful of the ice cream under his nose, ensuing a screech from Donghyuck in return.

It had completely slipped your mind how breathtaking Jeno looked when he smiled. It was the way his eyes always crinkled when he laughed so hard, making the mole beside his eyes more visible and unknowingly you found yourself smiling fondly as well. Jeno turned to find you watching him. The smile you had was a fond, adoring one. Jeno looked away immediately, and you did too. 

Across the booth, Yunjin raised her brows at Seoyeon, both of them watching the interaction before looking towards each other, a telepathic interaction passing between them.

“It has been way too long.” Seoyeon said as she sat down on the sunbed across from you at the private beach. “We needed this break so bad.” 

Seoyeon forcefully managed a girls day out today on the fifth day of the holiday, except the out in question was just at the private beach because Yeji wouldn’t stop complaining about her sore feet. The boys were apparently at the theatre room in the basement of the resort, watching a very important soccer match. You were a little envious though, you loved soccer — but you would rather be here catching up with your friends than watch some match on the screen.

“Yes, I know,” Yeji agreed with a happy smile on her face. “I mean I saw Seoyeon and Y/N around but Yunjin,” Yeji turned to the latter, “How is Canada?” 

“Fun. Lots of hot men all over the city. I love Vancouver.” Yunjin said with a wink, making everyone burst into a fit of laughter. “All jokes aside, I love it. The food is great, everyone’s welcoming and my roommates are not bitches but I hate the minus degree in winter though.” 

“We are old as fuck.” Seoyeon trailed off. “I still remember our eighth grade museum trip. The one where we saw those nude paintings and had the ice cream Mr. Park paid for. That was almost eight years ago.” She heaved a deep sigh over the last one before pointing at the diamond ring on Yeji’s ring finger. “Look at her, she is getting married soon!” 

Yeji gave her an incredulous look. “I am not though? Not anytime soon at least. We’re still saving for the big day.” 

Yunjin sighed loudly, diverting everyone’s attention to her. 

“Do you wanna say something?” 

She sighed again, not bothering to look up as she played with the hem of her dress. “Did I tell you guys my boyfriend broke up with me?” 

“Boyfriend?!” You and Seoyeon shrieked today and Yeji added. “The one from your posts?” 

“Well,” Yunjin paused for a second. “Not anymore cause I deleted those but yeah.” 

You put a comforting hand on top of your friend’s. “It’s going to be okay. I know that you’re probably sad but maybe this will— 

“Y/N, I’m okay. It wasn’t even that serious.” Yunjin laughed at your concerned reaction as she ran a hand through her hair. “It bruised my ego though. I’m not used to people breaking up with me, that was an entirely new experience.” 

All of you laughed at Yunjin’s words, probably louder than one should’ve. She always found a way to make people laugh. The sound of the waves crashing on the sand and the whistle of the sea breeze rang in your ears. It oddly felt nice to be here, away from all the responsibilities of your life, even if the freedom was just for seven days. There were probably over twenty unanswered emails sitting in your mailbox of that stupid mail app in your laptop right now, but that was the least of your worries right now. All you wanted was to savour the moment right now — surrounded by your favourite people as all of you sipped on wine by the sea while watching the sun set into the horizon. 

“Ah, Yunjin will never change…” Seoyeon said with a slight nod of her head and she stood up. “The way she said it made it sound like her husband of thirty years just filed for a divorce…” She looked in the half empty glass that was in front of you. “Do you want a refill?”

“Eh, not really.” You said.

“What’s up with your doctor boyfriend?” Yeji looked at you curiously. 

“Nothing.” You shrugged, pausing to take a sip of the remnants of the alcoholic beverage in your glass. “We broke up, it was mutual though. I didn't have time for him.” 

“Aren’t doctors one of the busiest people on Earth?” Yunjin asked. 

“Yeah.” You chuckled dryly. “He was okay.” 

You weren’t lying. He was indeed okay. He kissed you and he made love to you , what else was needed in a relationship? Your expectations from your partners were never high to begin with anyway. A simple relationship built around trust and love was all you wanted. You wanted to enjoy your own company sometimes — sipping on red wine accompanied by some scented candles and a warm, fuzzy blanket while binge watching a randomly selected show on Netflix on a rainy day. It seemed like your ex wasn’t a fan of that. So it ended up with a mutual break up, which seemed like the most logical option. 

“Did you love him?” 

Now, that was a million dollar question. Did you love him? Or did you just entertain the idea of dating him? You both would watch movies and binge on junk food every other day.  Looking back at it now, it was just two friends who kissed and had sex — but that was not a piece of information you would want to share with your friends. You simply grinned.

“You were too good for him anyway!” Seoyeon raised her glass, ushering everyone to toast in celebration of your break up. The girls cheered. They did the same years ago when you broke up with Jeno, not knowing why and how you guys broke up in the first place. 

“I still can’t believe Yeji is gonna get married. Who would’ve thought she would be the first one to get hitched?” The way Seoyeon talked like a proud mother made Yeji snort. 

“Isn’t fate just a very crazy concept? Who would’ve thought they were gonna get married in the future when Yeonjun first asked her out like a nerd during lunch.” You reminisced.

“I was very fucking embarrassed that day.” Yeji deadpanned with a hint of humour appearing on her face. “That motherfucker had the entire school being up in my business. I’m being serious when I say I wanted to kill him.” 

“You love him.” Yunjin nudged her. 

“Unfortunately.” 

“Your motherfucker is right there.” Seoyeon removed her sunglasses and pointed inside to the other side of the glass door. You followed the sight of hers only to be met with Yeonjun with Jeno beside him as they seemingly waited behind the reception counter. You turned away quickly when your eyes fell on Jeno, the thought of seeing Yeonjun long gone too. 

Yeji waved her hands around in disapproval. “Forget about him.” 

“You know, I don’t think I wanna date or marry anymore after my encounter with actual assholes.” Yunjin groaned. “However, I still want to be the hot pilates mom.” 

“You can always go to a club and get knocked up to fulfil that pilates mom fantasy of yours.” You suggested and immediately a cushion was thrown in your direction.

“Not like that!” Yunjin tried to explain herself as all of you laughed. “I do wanna get married sometime, maybe in the future. I don’t know yet.” 

“Can we not joke about getting knocked up? I literally had a pregnancy scare a few months back.” Everyone turned to Yeji in pure shock immediately as her head hung low. 

“Can we get into the details?” Seoyeon sat up straight against the cushion on the chair. 

Yeji sighed. “My period was very late and I started throwing up. Yeonjun and I almost jumped off a cliff together till I finally got my period and I realised the nausea came from stressing over the said period.” 

Yunjin made a face. “Sounds rough.” 

“Yeah, I almost thought of jumping in moving traffic.”

Yunjin let out a dramatic groan, fell back on the sunbed and wrapped her arms around your shoulder. “My Y/N baby and I are so fucking single. We don’t get laid either so no pregnancy scare!” 

“Sometimes I forget Seoyeon has a boyfriend.” 

After finishing the drinks and polishing all the scones with strawberry jam, Seoyeon dragged all of you to a nail salon around the corner of the resort to get nails done. You weren’t going to say no, especially when you had been smiling the entire day. 

“They’re so pretty, but too bad that I’m back to working at the lab again soon,” You said as you admired the flowers painted onto your thumb nail. 

“You’ll be fine! It’s not like you’re working in a factory.” Yunjin reassured you. 

“I would say that some retail therapy is in order, too!” Yeji chimed in and said with a smile behind you. 

“Fine, but I’m setting a $50 limit. In case you’ve forgotten, but I’m a little strapped for cash right now.” Seoyeon warned. 

“Hey, you’ve got a job. You’ve got a condo. You got a fine ass man who takes care of you. I think that you can afford to spend a little bit more than $50 on some new clothes.”

“Y/N, I’m trying to be responsible here!” Seoyeon said with a scowl.

“And I’m trying to tell you that it’s okay to treat yourself whenever you want! And if ever there is a moment for you to be treating yourself, it’s now,” You said with a roll of your eyes. 

Yeji walked over to the curb to hail a taxi. “Come on. I found the cutest boutique the other week, and I just have to show you guys!” 

You gasped for air when you finally got down from the treadmill with the music still blasting in your ears. The burn in your legs and muscles felt nice and you loved the way adrenaline rushed through your veins every time you decided to work out. 

Physical activity was never your cup of tea, not until the last year of high school. Just like how so many anecdotes and memories of your life traced back to Jeno, the start of your gym visits did too. Your then boyfriend wasn’t into going to the gym, rather he was obsessed with waking up in the early hours of the morning to go cycle up the hill and back with the bicycle he got as a present on his 17th birthday. That was how you developed the habit of accompanying him during his morning rides. 

Cycling was not an option anymore by the time you were out of high school — not with so much on your plate and all the memories attached to that damn purple bicycle of yours. The gym at your college ended up becoming your second home by the end of freshman year. 

Your mind raced back to Jeno. He probably worked out more than he ever did before, given that he looked so much stronger and bigger now and you failed to ignore the way your insides clenched at the thought of it. You sat on the seat of the lat pull-down machine for your next set with a huff after chugging some cold water from the frosted water bottle. 

You took another shallow breath. There was no need to entertain this idea any further. Jeno was busy, he had a job, he didn’t live in the country anymore and most importantly he was your ex boyfriend. No one in their right mind would even think of crawling back to their ex after years and there was no need to consider this any further. 

The faint sound of footsteps on the wooden floor made you turn your head towards the door to only see Jeno walk into the gym. He came and stood beside you — he was so incredibly attractive, especially with his arms all in display for the world to see that it was hard to not want him back again. Jeno parted his lips and said something which you couldn’t hear over the music that blasted in your ears through the headphones. You lifted a finger to put him at halt and took one of the earbuds out. 

“Were you saying something?” You asked and Jeno bit back a smile.

“I was saying, how many sets are you doing?” He raised a brow. 

You bit your lip for a second. What was he even trying to do?

“Why are you asking?” Your voice feigned confusion and you clearly had no intentions of sounding like a bitch. Jeno crossed his arms in front of his chest and you didn’t fail to take note of the white sleeveless shirt that hung from his shoulders. "Are you gonna help me or something?"

“No but,” Jeno paused for a second. “I can try helping if you want. Maybe I can give the gym instructor career a shot if my engineering degree doesn’t work out.” He grinned as he added. 

“Your engineering degree will work out.” You mumbled mockingly, turning back to the equipment to pull at the bar to continue with your workout. Jeno sat down on the seats of one of the empty equipment to watch you — and you suddenly felt the wave of confidence rushing out of your body to replace it with the feeling of pure embarrassment. 

“How many sets are you doing?” 

“Two sets.” You let go of the metal bars and turned around to face him, the idea of continuing your workout was long gone at that moment. “What about you?”

“Two or three. Depends on the day.” The reply was accompanied with a big grin, like a proud mother talking about her children’s achievements. 

“That’s just insanity.” 

At least he was self aware. 

“What else do you do?” Jeno asked in a conversational manner this time. You couldn’t help but chuckle a little because, why in the world is he trying to have a casual conversation with you while you were sweating buckets. "I mean, other than your work and working out."

“I watch way too many cooking videos on Youtube, I experiment in the kitchen, I do yoga on the weekends, I watch horror movies, I do research on cannabinoids for fun but that’s mostly just related to my work.” You replied with a grim laugh as you tried to think of a few other hobbies, but nothing came to mind anymore. 

“That’s,” Jeno laughed heartily this time. “That’s a lot of random hobbies together. It’s very, I don’t know how to put it together,” he paused to chuckle. “It screams you.” 

“What do you do?” You asked.

“Me?” Jeno sounded amused at your inquiry. “My day consists of coding in front of the computer, working out, studying, eating and sleeping.” 

“That’s also very you.” 

“I guess you could say, I was built for that homebody lifestyle.” 

“Retail therapy is also a part of my odd hobbies.” You added with a grin. “My apartment is filled with the most random things. I wish I could give you a visualisation of it.” 

Jeno hummed. “Show it to me one day.” 

“I’m always free.” He laughed at your answer. “Don’t you dare laugh, I’m being serious. Just show up anytime after 6 PM and I will be more than happy to welcome you.” 

“Even after your tedious work schedules?” 

“I’m always free and hospitable when it comes to my friends.…” You trailed off as soon as you realised what you had just said. The smile on Jeno’s face had faltered a little too but he was quick enough to regain his composure. 

“I will have to show up to your place one day, unannounced.” He let out a strained laugh. “I need to try one of those Italian dishes you cook. Words have been going around that you’re a good cook.” He got up from the seat and stood behind you as you fixed the equipment. “I doubt it though.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion and you turned around to meet his gaze behind you immediately. The sudden fast movement made you almost trip over your own feet but thankfully Jeno was quick enough to steady your balance with a hand on your waist. Your heart was on the brink of jumping out of your chest as you felt the fan of his breath right on your face and his lips were dangerously close to yours. He seemed to enjoy lowering his gaze to meet yours, his eyes glinting. You tried to hold onto his shoulder and push him away, but he grabbed it. 

“Let me go.” Your words were brazen despite the fact that you felt like your heart would jump out of your chest at any given moment. 

“Have you always been this tiny?” It took you days to finally take note of the height difference now that Jeno had mentioned it. The man in front towered over you now. The difference wasn’t much though — he was slightly taller than what he was five years ago. It was the fact that he was so much bigger and stronger now that made your head spin. You took a deep breath, silently hoping that he would just push you against the wall and kiss you hard. 

According to science, libido is at its peak in the 20s and that might as well be a literal fact. You had never thought of Jeno like this whilst dating him for years in your teens. 

“Shut up.” You pushed him and he obviously didn’t budge. There was no point as well. You had zero chances of overpowering him. However, the ego and pride of yours got the best of you, so you tried to push him again. This time he let you go and the throaty groan he let out rang in your ears. You felt shameless. That was one of the hottest things you have ever heard and you couldn’t help but feel the need to hear it again.

“Let’s not get violent right now.” Jeno chuckled, resting his back against the wall with his arms crossed around his chest as you silently put the water bottle and towel inside your small bag. “You’re seriously very short.” 

“Jeno, leave my height alone.” You scowled. “I haven’t grown past the age of 16.”

“I think you’re suffering from a major case of shrinking.” 

“You just grew taller.” 

“My feet fucking hurts.” Seoyeon huffed behind everyone, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath, watching everyone walk ahead of her. “What even is the point of this?”

“Sunset views are the best up here.” Donghyuck informed her like the tour guide he was, which only made Seoyeon roll her eyes in return. 

“I can see this same shit from my bedroom.” 

You watched the hills instead, away from all the commotion and bickering of your friends. Your eyes were steady to the horizon, face aglow with the last orange rays before twilight beckoned the stars. Your lips bear the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that you were probably lost in your thoughts. 

Jeno noticed you standing alone, away from everyone screaming and doing a mini photoshoot at the cliff for their Instagram feeds. He moved closer so that you could feel his presence, yet stayed quiet, allowing you to stay lost in the moment a while longer. Jeno watched you pull out your phone from the back of your pocket and start capturing photos of the sunset.

Jeno felt his breath catch in his throat. He felt the familiar feeling of butterflies erupting within his stomach and a smile crept on to his face, unknowing to him. Your love for sunsets remained the same. Jeno reminisced about getting dragged to the terrace by you after school, just so that you could capture some photos on your phone. 

You watched the sunset as he watched you. Jeno couldn’t see your face, but he knew you looked breathtaking. 

"Jeno," Renjun pushed him aside. "Move out of my way."

Renjun sauntered to the edge of the cliff, with his film camera in his hand. The artsy side of Renjun was always very amusing, especially paired with the fact that he was a real estate agent now. Who would have thought Renjun would turn into that path instead of pursuing a career in arts? Not Jeno. You had already made your way to Renjun. Jeno watched you laugh at something Renjun had said as you posed for the camera in his hand by the railings.

Jeno looked away and kicked at a pebble by his feet. He slowly made his way down to where Jaemin and Donghyuck

“This is getting ridiculous,” Jeno griped, holding 

onto the umbrella to try and keep off some of the rain that was dripping down through the awning above the store. You glanced up at the slats above, and nodded, wincing as a droplet splashed into your eye.

“How did we end up here, again?” You asked, mildly, glancing sideways, though there was barely any room to move. Jeno was pressed against your back, in a warm line, even though the rest of him was chilly damp. 

Your friends still loved to play the silly game of rock paper and scissors to decide fate and miraculously, it had to be Jeno and you out of all people who had to accept the defeat. Both of you were out together to buy meat and all the supplies needed for a barbecue night, and somehow everything had gone wrong. And now, you two were trapped, underneath a leaky covering in the gloomy weather, waiting for the rain to lessen so you could run a few blocks to where Jeno had parked the rental car. 

“I’m gonna kill Donghyuck.” Jeno scowled. 

“It’s not really his fault.”

“If that asshole just got the meat through the resort staff, we wouldn’t have come down here in the first place. And then, we wouldn’t have gotten stuck in this rain!”

“How about running to the car before the rain gets worse?” You asked, hoping that he would calm down a little but instead that just made Jeno glare at you through his sodden bangs.

“And then what? You’re gonna start sneezing and stay bed ridden the rest of the trip because you caught a flu?” You flinched as Jeno snapped suddenly. Jeno felt a flash of guilt and his voice softened, “I’m sorry. I’m very pissed right now and the last thing I want you is to get sick.” 

“No you’re right.”

You felt a flash of guilt too. Jeno wanted to buy the meat and all the ingredients from the air conditioned supermarket. It was closer to the resort, there was a parking space and definitely lower chances of getting drenched in the rain. However, you thought it would be a good idea to go to the local butcher shop instead for a fresher cut of meat. It had been a mistake as it turns out. 

“I should’ve just listened to you.” You scowled, and Jeno waved his hand, spraying a few water droplets towards you.

“No, no, it’s fine. I should have known that the weather is very unpredictable. It’s just that.…” Jeno’s rage from earlier had deflated into disappointment and guilt, and he looked at you with all puppy dog eyes and drooping shoulders. “Never mind. Sorry.”

You returned him the same fond look as you questioned him. “Sorry for what?”

“Nothing. Forget it.” Jeno brushed it off.

“It’s a little cliché.” You watched as it continued to pour with no signs of stopping any time soon. The sky rumbled above followed by some lighting strikes every now and then. You were grateful that Jeno at least found the leaky shade in front of the closed store. 

“It feels more romantic than cliché.” Jeno mumbled behind you.

The way you could feel your blood rushing through your veins fast at a rapid speed inside you doesn’t go unnoticed. You blinked, almost at a state of being unable to form words. “What? Wha—no, I wasn’t talking about being stuck in the rain with you!” 

“What?!” Jeno’s voice was louder than yours had been. It didn’t matter though, there was no one in sight, just two empty cars parked up the road. He waved his hands around in defence, almost pushing you out towards the rain accidentally in the process. “I was talking about the weather! Look, it’s gloomy, it’s storming, there’s a sea nearby. That’s what I was talking about. Don’t get any ideas.” 

“Yeah, it’s both cliché and romantic.” You laughed, trying to mask the sigh of relief that you just let out. “Minus us. I guess.” 

“What time is it?” Jeno ignored and asked behind you.

“It’s almost 4pm.” You checked the time on your wrist watch. “We ar—” the words caught in your throat as you turned around. Jeno leaned in suddenly and his face was a lot closer. You wondered if he could hear your heart beating rapidly against your chest. 

“You look cute.” Jeno said, simply. 

You gasped, cheeks heating up in the process. You lightly smacked Jeno in the chest and rolled your eyes, mumbling, “No I don’t.” 

Jeno satisfied himself with brushing a couple strands of wet hair from your forehead, which honestly caused him to blush as much as a kiss would. Not that he was thinking about kissing you under the rain. Or was he?

Goosebumps formed on your skin at Jeno’s actions on the other hand. You glanced right and then left, and turned away from him. All you wanted at the moment was to get back to the resort and scream into your pillows like a maniac. Did Jeno just turn you into a stuttering mess? Yes. Did he look attractive while doing that? Yes. Did you suddenly have the urge to grab his face and kiss him like it was one of those drizzly days in high school? Yes.

A car drove by after a while, and Jeno the edged space between you both, before he peeked out and judged that the rain had slowed down. “We should have brought umbrellas,” he sighed, and you shrugged. It was too late to be sulking now. 

Jeno looked back at you. “Can you run?” he asked, and you nodded, a bit hesitant. He took a deep breath and took your hand in his. “Okay, then let’s go,”

He took off on a jog while tightly holding onto the groceries in one hand and the other intertwined with yours. You sprang forward to keep up with him, not bothering to try to keep your hair dry any longer. It was a bit too cold to be going around getting soaked, even in the summer. 

Nothing went as planned at the end of the day. 

Donghyuck’s barbecue by the beach plans got cancelled. Renjun slipped and fell on his ass in the middle of a crowded lobby. No one remembered to buy the few cans of beer that everyone wanted along with the peach flavoured drink with 5% alcohol, especially for Jaemin. All thanks to the thunderstorm outside, but at least everyone got to enjoy the meat after all these nuisances in a small balcony with a view of the sea along with the occasional sound of the sky rumbling and the lightning followed by it. 

“Renjun?” Jeno began cautiously. 

No response.

“Renjun?” Yeonjun tried this time, a little louder than Jeno.

“What?”

“The meat looks a bit burn—

“I hope you know that this man is raging at the moment. I would suggest you to leave him alone before the bomb explodes.” Jaemin interrupted, rounding on Yeonjun and pointing the tongs he was using to grill the meat at him.

“Who pissed in his cereal this morning?” Yeonjun snorted. He unscrewed one of the beer bottles and chugged the beverage before commenting. “He’s fuming, oh no.”

“Nothing’s going right for him today.” Jaemin tried to mimic the grumpy expression on Renjun’s face — lips slightly pouted paired with the broody eyebrows. 

“Na Jaemin, I’m gonna drown you in the ocean.” Renjun pointed the hot, burning tongs drenched in barbecue sauce at Jaemin in a threatening manner. 

“You’re right, nothing’s right today.” 

Jeno snorted from the other side of the grill as chaos ensued. The air was now shimmering with the heat from the barbecue, and the smoke stung at the corner of his eyes. Every now and then he would watch you hurry out with all the drinks, now dressed in a flowery sundress, to bark orders at Jaemin and criticise his efforts so far. He watched you sipping on the cheap beer from a plastic cup and he felt peaceful seeing you, smiling so brightly like this. It was crazy to think that you still had the same effect on him after all the years — the path to getting over you would always be rocky anyway. Instead, he had learned to cherish you forever as the one that got away. 

“He’s smiling to himself.” Donghyuck craned his neck to get a better look at Jeno through all the smoke to confirm his suspicions. “Oh my god. Jeno is smiling to himself.” 

“The excitement of devouring all these after hours of soaking in the rain got me acting all giddy like this, Donghyuck. You won’t get it.” Jeno grinned and stuck his tongue out. 

He glanced at you one last time and made a mental note to get you a warm cup of matcha latte from the café nearby later. After all, you were soaking in the rain with him as well and as far as he remembered, you loved hot beverages on a gloomy, rainy day. 

Jeno stood by the railings of the balcony with a cold and frosted bottle of beer in his hand. If it was a regular weekend back in California, he would’ve been annoyed with the ambiance of the party right now — strangers, loud music, obnoxious purple and blue led lights, a mashup of all things that got on his nerves. 

The party was loud, music blasting through the speakers in the main area as people wandered in and out of the rooms. There were too many people around in the villa, filled with strangers who happened to be Donghyuck’s friends and acquaintances. Jeno could hear the wasted singing from the lounge room, and watched as people swayed against each other. The smell, a mix of weed and cigarette smoke along with the salty sea lingered in the air.

“Why are you here all alone?” Jaemin slowly came and stood beside him. There was a bottle of beer in his hand, similar to one in Jeno’s hand. 

Jeno hesitated a little but continued with a chuckle, nevertheless. “It’s too loud down there.” 

“Woah, that’s a shocker.” Jaemin giggled at Jeno’s remark. “l assumed you would get used to the rowdy crowd of America by now.” 

Jeno smiled at Jaemin instead of replying, clinking the beers gently as he scanned the yard from the balcony that overlooked the sea, looking for someone else. Looking for you. 

It seemed like Donghyuck had been invited along with the whole town, the lounge room jam-packed with dancing bodies, and the rest of the crowd spilling out into the hallways, front lawn and all. Jeno could see Yeji and Yeonjun dancing closely as if they were in their own little world, and Renjun was talking to Donghyuck and Yunjin, sipping on their beers and laughing amongst themselves. But you were missing from the crowd, and Jeno’s gaze couldn’t help but search for you, sighing when he couldn’t spot you.

Jaemin couldn’t help but chuckle behind Jeno, watching as his shoulders fell into themselves and a frown formed on his face. Sure, Jaemin already knew his best friend of 13 years never got over you, but he didn’t think Jeno was still head over heels for you like that. He leaned towards him and gave his shoulder a squeeze with his free hand.

“She is down there in the yard.” Jeno turned to Jaemin, trying to hide the sudden warmth of his cheeks. Jaemin knew exactly who his best friend was looking for and why, but he only laughed and shook his head in amusement. “I saw her with Seoyeon.”

‘‘Why do you think I wanna know where she is?” 

“Jeno, you know that I love you, right?” Jeno glared at him and Jaemin added quickly. “As a friend obviously. Don’t get any ideas.” 

Jeno wanted to stop him from saying anything further, but Jaemin put his hands up and hushed him. “Look, I know you never got over Y/N. I also know that you’re not planning to get over her any time soon and that’s fine! But, can I let you in on a little secret? You still have the chance to win her back. Now, don’t argue, because if you start we’ll be here all night, just go and talk to her.” Jaemin pushed Jeno, in the direction of the open door leading into the yard of the villa and he didn’t give Jeno the time to speak before disappearing into the crowd. 

The corner of the yard, near the sea, was lit up with hanging lights, the gentle glow of the bulbs illuminated over the pool. It was a lot quieter, a small breeze rustling through the trees above. There were a few small groups of people standing around smoking or drinking, and a couple or two dancing slowly to the quiet music coming from inside.

You were sitting by yourself on one of the chairs. Jeno could tell you hadn’t noticed him yet, too focused on looking up at the night sky. Jeno wandered over and then you were turning your head, a small smile on your face.

“Isn’t it a little boring?” You stretched your arm out and clinked your bottle of cold beer with his, while keeping the lazy smile on your face.

“Maybe.” Jeno had a smile similar to yours as he sat down on a chair beside you. “More than a little boring, I think.” He admitted hesitantly. 

“This place is nice.” You snorted and Jeno could tell it was an attempt at making the conversation less awkward. 

“Did you eat?“ Jeno didn’t exactly know how to keep this conversation going, but he did want to know whether you were staying healthy and having your meals regularly on time. He cared about you. 

“I’m living on the free beer and cold pizza today. I have had way too many of those pizza squares.” You laughed, head thrown back and Jeno unknowingly found himself grinning too. “I don’t think I wanna talk about food today. I’m too full.” 

“Those pizzas tasted horrifying.” Jeno replied sheepishly. “Sorry to Donghyuck’s friend. I couldn’t get myself to eat more than one slice.” 

“Nothing tastes horrifying when you’re hungry.” You shrugged. “I used to live on cup noodles which tasted like plastic just two years ago.” 

There were more people in the yard now suddenly, the party spilling out into the open air as the music got louder. Jeno and you were forced to move near the beach under a palm tree while an EDM song with an obnoxious beat played at the back. You felt Jeno’s arm around your waist to bring you closer to him when a tall unknown tipsy man nearly stumbled into you while attempting to dance in a semi-decent way.

Jeno didn’t know why he didn’t remove his arm afterwards either. Even though you were leaning against his side, and you could feel the warm breath of his mouth against your neck, leaning closer to your ear to make sure you could hear him.

“Do you wanna go back to the resort? I think the party atmosphere has gotten a bit boring and crowded now.” Jeno also didn't know why he was already tugging you away from your little spot without an answer from you. He felt relief wash over him when you complied and started walking behind him towards the exit. 

But then the song changed, and you couldn’t help but stop Jeno near the edge where the beach met the yard of the villa, right when you were both about to make an escape. Jeno was looking at you, confusion in his eyes as he went to open his mouth to ask what you were doing. 

“Can we stay for this song? I really like this one.” The song was a contrast to all the loud, noisy music, not something that Jeno would normally listen to given the choice, but he won’t deny the melody and the beat was nice. You were looking at him with big begging eyes, hands holding his and your body already swaying to the gentle beat, and Jeno just smiled.

“What is it called?” 

“I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys!”

“Whatever you want.” You grinned back at him, and without even thinking, you moved closer to him, arms winding around his neck, chest to chest after seeing couples around do the same. Jeno froze for a moment, but you don’t notice, and after taking a deep breath, he tentatively puts his arms around your waist.

“I’m sorry…I don’t really know how to dance.” Jeno’s mouth was near your ear, lips accidentally brushing against your skin as he spoke, and you could only look up at him, a soft grin splayed over your face. Your arms held him tighter, but he didn’t complain, even if he thought you deserved an actual dance under starlight on the beach in someone that could actually treat you right.

“You know, it’s never too late to learn.” Your voice was soft, and he nearly missed it in the mixture of the music and surrounding voices. “I quite like you holding me like this though, I don’t need any fancy moves tonight.” He was shocked by your words, and there was a sudden lump in his throat. Maybe it was the three bottles of beer he had earlier talking now, but he couldn’t hold himself back from spilling his thoughts any longer. 

“Do you remember our prom?” You looked up at Jeno, curiosity filling your eyes as you listened to him speak, holding him tight so you don’t miss a word. “We danced to some really boring slow song. I couldn’t dance back then either.” He stopped then, breathing deeply and looking away as he gave you time to take in your words, but you were already shooting off the next question.

“You were not that bad.” Jeno chuckled bitterly again, getting distracted when your fingers trail down the soft skin of his neck, raising goosebumps and making his cheeks warm.

“You don’t need to flatter me.…” Jeno trailed off and looked down, and stopped swaying you in his arms, and his arms leaving your body, instead pushing the fists into his pockets. 

“Do you remember something else, Jeno?” Your hand was on his cheek, making it so he was looking right at you. Suddenly, Jeno felt like the two of you were too close and he was frozen in his spot, not able to move when you started speaking. “When we kissed in the middle of the dance floor.”

“Why would I remember that?” Jeno spluttered out the question as if he couldn’t believe what you had just said. You were smiling, in a teasing way that made him feel warm and loved, and your hand was running through the hair on the nape of his neck, with his body absentmindedly leaning into the touch.

Jeno, quite frankly, wanted to jump off a cliff after making sure to punch Na Jaemin in the face at that moment. He knew you were flirting with him — he wasn’t sure of why you were doing it though. Did you want him back after dumping him? He did like the idea of getting back with you though, even if it made him look pathetic. 

“Think of it like a prom dance.” Your voice was soft but it sure did raise some goosebumps. “Minus the formalities, dresses and tuxedos.” You were already pulling him back into the crowd then, hand clasped in his tightly. 

The dancing wasn’t perfect at all, your timing was way off, he was excellent at stepping on your feet, but it was really the most fun Jeno had in years, with a loved one. He never knew dancing to obnoxiously loud music under a few lights by the sea surrounded by sweaty bodies would have him grin from ear to ear. 

“I had fun, with you I mean.” Jeno was a blushing mess again, hand rubbing the back of his neck and his gaze avoiding yours. He leaned back against the palm tree and added, “I guess I was missing out on a lot of things.” 

“You’re still really cute.”

“I am?”

You hummed in response. “Can I kiss you?” 

Jeno’s smile faltered a bit as he became flustered at the question, a pink hue crossing across his cheek. However, his look of shock was quickly replaced with a dopey grin.

He nodded his head excitedly, and with a swift movement, your lips were on his and his back pressed against the palm tree. All the memories which he successfully erased from his brain rushed back into his mind — the kiss shared in between class breaks, the kiss behind the bleachers, the kiss outside your house before your dad walks in and Jeno felt like he could cry right now. 

The kiss was sweet and gentle, full of the love and admiration that he had for you. Your breath was warm and your lips tasted like beer, which Jeno didn’t mind. You felt one of his arms snake around your waist, pulling you in a warm embrace and another on your cheek as he kissed you back. 

You pulled away first and Jeno slowly opened his eyes, a lovestruck look gleaming in his eye as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. You leaned into his touch, giving him an equally romantic look back.

And then it hit Jeno like a truck. 

He just kissed the ex-girlfriend who dumped him on a random night.

Dumbass. 

Jeno scratched the back of his neck, trying to avoid your gaze. He looked around and scanned the area, making sure no one he knew had witnessed him kissing you out of everyone. “I think.…I should go look for Jaemin, yeah.” 

“Oh.” You sounded a little offended and Jeno wanted to jump into the sea. He clearly didn’t think of the consequences. “Yeah, yeah. Jaemin must be in the lounge room.” 

“Cool.” 

It was nine and a half at night on the seventh day when everyone was in the lobby of the resort after a full hectic day of island hopping. Each and everyone were drained, tired and overall ready to pass out, except Jeno. He had recently found out the gym was open 24 hours and it had been days since he last hit the gym. A few barbell bench presses and some lifting for his regular strength training would suffice for now. He tried to work out once a few days back but he ran into you and let’s just say — he didn’t want to be a sweaty mess around you.

A stupid kiss disrupted his sleep the entire night. You were never getting back with him, he was flying back to America again, you had an actual life and job here. There would never be a happy ending to your story again. Jeno started to loathe you for a moment — why did you think of trying to toy with his feelings now?

It all circled back to one question Jeno had for years now; Did he do something to upset you? 

Jeno decided to head for the gym at five in the morning instead. He felt alive after a few sets of deadlifting. The gym had not a single soul in sight, there was a glass wall that overlooked the moon illuminating on the sea and Jeno felt at ease finally. He let out a sigh of relief as relished this moment by the glass wall for a while, before returning to his favourite exercise, bench presses. 

It was five twenty in the morning and you couldn’t get yourself to sleep properly the entire night. You’ve tried all the methods of getting yourself to slip into dreamland — counting from hundred to zero backwards, counting sheeps, turning off your phone but none seemed to help. The power of caffeine was never your side and you always learned a lesson the wrong way. It was Jaemin’s idea to try the local coffee made with the fresh coffee beans earlier in the evening. Safe to say the caffeine in your system had you counting stars for the whole night now.

You walked through the pathway that led to the beach, clutching your phone in one hand. There was a circular lawn with a path around it, the central bed of shrubs. Outside of the lawn area were a few rose bush beds to fill up the square area which made the air smell like red roses. The pathway was dark in between the bushes but bright lights through a glass illuminated on that pebble path at the end of it. 

Curiosity got the best of you. You had never taken this path during your five day stay at this resort as Donghyuck always opted for the main gates at the front. The short walk came to a halt when your eyes fell towards the glass wall with the gym behind it, and there was Jeno sitting on one of the benches. 

And your breath caught in your throat at the sight of it.

Few strands of Jeno’s black hair stuck to his forehead due to the sweat, wireless earphones in his ear, toned, muscular arms and a well-defined back all on display because of the tank top he wore — and you stood there, watching him shamelessly. Jeno grabbed two free weights, wearing black lifting gloves and sat down on one of the benches again. He was wearing a black tank top and shorts, making his quads visibly flex when he sat down.

In this very moment he looked up and spotted you. His brow raised in confusion and you looked away immediately, resuming your speedy walk towards the gate that led to the beach. You heard footsteps rushing behind you at that point, and you knew it had to be Jeno. 

“Y/N!” You turned around like a deer caught in headlights to face Jeno as he huffed and puffed from running after you. “Isn’t it too early to be awake?” His voice feigned both concern and confusion. 

You sighed. “I wanted to take a walk. Can't sleep anymore.” 

“I’ll walk with you.” 

“You finished your workout?” You asked as your eyes drifted to the black lifting gloves he was still wearing. 

“Not really but,” Jeno laughed, taking the gloves off and shoving them into the pocket of his shorts. “I think that was enough for today. My muscles are gonna be sore later anyway.” 

It was dark outside. The only source of the faint light were the lamp posts on the beach on the other side of the gate. Jeno was sweaty beside you and you could tell he just had a good rep back there. You felt your cheeks heat under his gaze, realising that it wasn’t from embarrassment of getting caught staring at him this time but the look he had in his eyes.

“How do you have the energy to hit the gym after our trip yesterday?” You broke the silence before the sound of crickets chirping made you go crazy. 

Jeno laughed, “I guess I just like the gym.” 

“No. This is an addiction. You’re addicted.” You shook your finger up and wagged it around in the air. “Gym bunny.” 

“I’ve always been into fitness, you know that.” Jeno retorted just as you two came under the dim lights of the beach. “Besides, I’m alright with that title. I like the sound of gym bunny.” He smirked at you, making you scoff and roll your eyes to the back of your head. 

“I do yoga.” You said and sat down on the bench, patting the hard surface beside you for Jeno to sit as well. 

“Don’t lie to me right now.” Jeno’s bewildered tone made your giggle. 

“Why would I lie to you?” You laughed heartily and nudged him. “I started just a few months ago, apparently it helps with stress or something like that.” 

“What world am I living in…” Jeno chuckled lightly as he muttered unbelievably under his breath. 

The sand was soft and cool under your feet, remnants of the scalding heat from the sun long faded. You couldn’t quite see the ocean — there was a mass of infinite black on the horizon, blending into the dark sky. The faint cool breeze brushed against your face and and your hair tossed in the wind as you took a deep

breath. Jeno was equally as quiet as you, observing the scenario ahead. 

“Jeno? You started hesitantly after a moment, snapping him from his reverie. “How are you?” 

“What?” Jeno exclaimed at first, then added in a softer voice feigning confusion, “What do you mean?”

“How are you?” You repeated. 

“What do you mean?” He emphasised this time. 

“How is America?” 

“Good,” Jeno’s voice sounded grim. “I guess.” He let out a sigh and added, “It gets lonely sometimes, but I’m alright with that.” 

“You know, you can talk to me, right?” You hummed softly and shifted closer to him on the bench. 

A breathy chuckle came from Jeno as the words left your mouth. “Y/N, you left me. You blocked me everywhere. You kissed me last night, five years later. I can’t pretend like nothing happened between us anymore.” 

You opened your mouth to say something but the words never seemed to come out. Jeno took your silence as a green light to continue. 

“It’s okay. We’re already way past that stage of our life. I don’t think it bothers me anymore.” Jeno deadpanned before his voice cracked unexpectedly. “I recently had a thought that I never had the chance to thank you.” 

Your feet brushed against the cold sand and you looked at him. “Thank me for what?” 

“For—” Jeno nervously rubbed the back of his neck and he looked away from you to stare into the ocean. “For showing me what love is.” 

You hesitated for a moment. Even the smell of the salty sea lingering in the air made you uncomfortable now. A cold gust of wind blew against your face, like a warning sign. You looked back at Jeno and your stomach churned as he patiently waited for you to say something. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t do this now.” 

“Just tell me why we broke up or I will have no choice but to hate myself for the rest of my life.” Jeno breathed. “Did I do something to upset you?” His voice softened this time. 

“You were never unkind.” Your eyes drifted back to the waves again, the moonlight making the sea foam look like it was glowing. You sighed. You had started this, might as well finish it too. “I didn’t want you to be with someone like me. I was a mess. I was absolutely broken. You were going to move thousands of miles away and I was stuck in our same old hometown, still depressed and miserable. I just wanted you to be happy and successful.” You laughed at your own words, it sounded ridiculous now that you thought about your naive younger self. “I dated two guys after you. They didn’t remind me of you, they couldn’t do it like you. We drifted apart and eventually it lead to them dumping me. I was okay with that though. I focused on my academics instead, I watched too many movies, I learned how to cook. I graduated early and I got a job too. 

“I’m so proud of you.” Jeno’s voice was quiet as he kneeled down on the gravel path in front of you. His hands gave yours a squeeze and finally gave you a nod and a reassuring smile found itself on his lips which finally made you feel like you could breathe again. He didn’t hate you. 

Your eyes started prickling at that point and it wasn’t long before you felt the tears pooling in your eyes. “I was very fucking selfish. I wanted everything to myself. I never even thought about how you felt.” Your voice was shaky. 

“You were 18.” 

He continued to slowly rub the sides of your arm, a silent call for you to continue. You took a deep breath of relief. “You were like my escape from reality. Even those 15 minute long bus rides with you used to make me forget about everything.” 

“I didn’t want to escape from reality anymore.” You closed your eyes, trying to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. “I had to face the real world. My mum was cheating on my dad, my parents were getting divorced, and I got rejected from all the scholarship interviews.” 

“Why did you never tell me?” Jeno asked. “About the divorce, I mean.” 

“I was gonna tell you. You told me about your scholarship in the morning. You were so happy that day, I didn’t want to take that smile away from you, not when your smile soothed my pain.” 

Jeno didn’t say anything, instead he gently put one of his hands on top of yours. 

“I’m rambling too much about myself.” You tittered and didn’t dare to look at him, so you savoured the serene view of the moonlight against the sea. “Sorry.” 

Jeno let out a breathy laughter and continued to caress your arm. You felt like you could breathe again. The silence was comforting now as you felt the weight of all those years worth of suppressed emotions off you for the first time. “When are you leaving?” You asked gently and you couldn’t hold the tears back anymore as soon as you turned to face him. Chuckling, you added while wiping your cheeks. “Sorry, you must think I’m crazy.”

“Next month. I’m leaving again at the end of next month.” Jeno hesitated at first but then he gently kissed the top of your head. “I’m graduating in a few months.”

You stayed still in his embrace. The eastern sky was filled with blends of pink, orange and blue as it welcomed a new day. The dawn sent shimmering rays over the ocean, bestowing a golden path from the shore to the horizon. With your heart starting to soar in happiness, you put your head on Jeno’s shoulder, trying to enjoy every second of his company. Being with him never failed to put you at ease. It had always been like that — and you missed feeling this way. 

“Do you want to spend the rest of the summer with me?” Jeno emphasised and turned to you. You raised your head from his shoulder to notice the way the orange of the sky beautified his eyes. 

You looked down at your feet covered in sand and took a deep breath. “Why do you want to crawl back to your past?” 

“It’s not like I have any regrets.” Jeno pondered for a few seconds while toying with his fingers and biting at his bottom lip. “I dated around for a while. It didn't work out. I wasn’t into hooking up as well. I had accepted my fate of simply dying alone. No one reminded me of you and I had accepted my fate of dying alone.” He paused to wrap his arm around you tighter. “And just like you, I focused on my courseworks.” 

You watched the sea, lost in waves that hit against the shore every now and then. Your eyes were steady to the horizon, face aglow with the subtle orange rays of the sunrise. 

“Do you want to be,” He paused and took your hands in his own, “happy together?” 

“Look at me.” You brushed your fingers on his cheek. Jeno fluttered his eyes down, vulnerable at the way you looked at him with so much love and adoration in your eyes. “I’m sorry for ever hurting you.” 

Jeno shushed you. “Forget about the past. Do you want to start over?”

“Yes.” Your cheeks heated up at the confession but the heartwarming smile on Jeno’s face didn’t go unnoticed.

Everything was a bit comical. 

You both communicated like lovers from the golden era of the 80s. The dependance on communicating only during the everyday outings, at the restaurants, in the hallways and outside the room because Jeno didn’t have the courage to ask you to unblock him everywhere and neither did you was just very amusing. He did however have the courage to ask you to get downstairs after dinner with a sheepish smile on his face. 

Slowing your steps and unknowing to him, you shamelessly took some time to appreciate his beauty from the side. The simple white t-shirt paired with the black sweatpants still made him look so handsome. You wanted to give yourself some time and wonder how crazy the universe and your fate truly was — who would’ve thought you would see your ex (read: now secret boyfriend) who turned out to be one of the hottest men you had ever seen on a trip you wanted to bail on? Jeno locked his phone and put it back inside his pocket, watching you walk up to him with a toothy grin on your face. 

“Where are we going at this hour?” You happily intertwined your hand with Jeno’s extended one. 

Jeno rocked your intertwined hands back and forth, a mischievous grin on his face as the two of you exited the resort premises and walked into the parking space. “Somewhere where you would probably enjoy.” 

Your eyes sparked with delight at his reply, “What is it?” You teased, the grin on your face growing into a toothy smile. 

“You will find out.” 

The night air was cool as the strong breeze nipped at your skin from the open window inside the rental car. You wish you had worn something warm and not a crop top paired with a skirt. Perhaps driving at 2:30 AM was not the best idea in the book as well. It might be dangerous if you both found yourselves in trouble, especially when driving so far away from the city. 

You wanted to appreciate the scenery instead, after all it was a highway with hills and the sea on both sides. The view went from dense trees, the sea to even a paddy field which you couldn’t make out in the dark. You were in awe with all the things nature and the universe had to offer and you wished Jeno had brought you here during the daytime. Jeno was happy to play your choice of music and it made your chest stir — you loved making playlists and it was almost like you had one ready for this exact moment. 

“I know this song!” Jeno exclaimed and turned to you for a second like he was a child who had just solved a puzzle. “It's One Direction, right?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded with a grin. “It’s called Perfect.”

Jeno nodded along the beat of the song. “Yeah, I know this one.” He looked inexplicably attractive as he drove the car with one hand. He stole a glance at you and added. “You used to be a crazy fan.” 

You groaned in embarrassment. Jeno really brought up a deep dark secret that you wished to keep buried under the ground for the rest of your life. You really didn’t want to associate yourself with the long gone Zayn Malik posters on your wall. “Don’t remind me.” 

Jeno’s lips bloomed into a smile at your reaction. “Hey, it’s okay. I became a semi fan of them because of you.”

“Please, let’s not bring up the dark days.” 

“No, no. Let me speak.” Jeno’s laugh was breathy, whilst he continued to speed down the highway. “I just listen to whatever is on the top charts. So, I love discovering new music like this. Besides, it’s not even embarrassing, I used to be a fan of Justin Bieber. Didn’t you stop talking to me for a day because I said Sorry was better than Drag Me Down?” 

You laughed, remembering the days of bickering with him over the phone on school nights — all over some silly music releases. You wondered whether Jeno really remembered it all. Did Jeno remember the times he danced to One Direction in your room? 

You sighed. “I think we’re a little too old to bicker over music now.” 

“I still think Sorry is better than Drag Me Down.” Jeno teased and the only thing you could do, without causing a potential car crash was playfully and very lightly hit his arm. 

The rest of the ride was fun and relaxed. Jeno told you more about his trip to Japan where his roommate had a crazy paranormal encounter but on the brighter side, it was the same place where Jeno discovered his love for shoyu ramen. He found out you had been to Japan as well, during your third year of college, for some research purposes. 

“You know, I’ve never been to Osaka.” Jeno told you after his shocking discovery. 

You turned to him, more than happy to let him know a few facts about your trip to your favourite city. “Oh, you should definitely visit Osaka. You have got these tourist hot spots like the Osaka Castle, Universal Studios and Shitennō-ji Temple. The food is absolutely amazing as well. There’s a tiny family run place near the museum and they have amazing kushikatsu!” You huffed a laugh when you realised you rambled a little too much. 

“Osaka is definitely at the top of my bucket list now!” You were happy with the fact that you were able to convince Jeno with your ramblings. 

And then there was a comfortable silence that settled in between. You enjoyed the view of whatever you could make out in the dark. The random music playing through the speakers wasn’t bad either. Again, you wished you had visited this place sometime during the day. You would’ve loved to drive a convertible here during the sunset or maybe even the sunrise — but you doubted your ability to wake up so early in the morning for that kind of commitment. 

Lost in your thoughts, it took you a few seconds to realise the car had stopped. You looked out through the windshields and Jeno parked the car somewhere down a steep pathway that led to a beach. A gasp made it way past your lips when a lightning stroke above the sea followed a small rumble in the sky. It was beautiful indeed — the sound of the sea hitting the shore, sky rumbling above — it might not be a spectacular view to others, but you loved nothing more than the sea and the rain. It was one of the beauties of summer. 

A few more lightning and the roaring of the sky, the downpour had started. 

“I didn’t expect it to rain, honestly. My plan was to stargaze. I was on Google for hours and found this spot. Stargazing is kinda,” Jeno was hesitant to continue at first, but he did anyway. “Stargazing is kinda considered romantic, so yeah.” He looked at you apologetically. 

“It’s perfect.” You promised, reaching back to caress his cheek. He tenderly leaned into your touch, as you cupped his face. He smiled softly before he turned, pressing a kiss to your palm before he leaned forward catching your lips in a soft kiss as the rain drummed steadily against the exterior of the car.

Jeno pulled away with a breathy chuckle. “I wish we had brought some food. McDonald’s drive through would’ve been amazing right now.” 

A silence settled in between you two again. This time, it was accompanied with the distant rumbles of thunder, the rain drumming against the exterior of the car and the soft music that played through the speakers. Jeno helped you push your seat back so you could sit comfortably before he pushed his own seat back. You curled up in the seat, tucking your legs underneath her. 

Jeno you softly chuckled at your movement before turning away, shaking his head. You slapped his thigh, “What?” 

Jeno exhaled slowly and tilted his head back up, looking over at you. “I seriously can't get over how tiny you are.” 

You knew Jeno was probably joking but there was a small flash of something in his eyes along the lines of it and the way he looked at you didn’t go unnoticed as well. It was suddenly a little hot and stuffy inside the air conditioned car and you tried so hard to ignore the warmth down there. “The gym membership has inflated your ego, hasn't it? You like being the big and strong one.” 

Jeno chuckled, his eyes brightening a bit and he reached a hand over, brushing your hair behind your ear. "You might’ve gotten that right." he whispered and just as he was about to pull his hand away, fingers brushing against your cheek, you reached up and held his hand there, keeping it from moving.

"I kinda like that." You mumbled, shyly. Your fingers wrapped over the side of his hand, finger tips against his palm.

Jeno nodded in a mock stern motion, "Like what?" he narrowed his eyes, and you smiled, a small giggle coming from her lips. “Come on, tell me. You like the fact that I’m stronger?" he asked, jokingly and you glared at him. Then in one swift motion he pulled you onto his lap. 

You gasped, a little startled and looked at him. "Hey! I'm serious, I'll kick your ass." you threatened him and his hands moved onto your waist.

"I'd like to see you try." Jeno said cockily back at you with that smirk on his face. 

"You know, I could actually beat your ass. I did taekwondo, remember?” You reminded him, and his grip on your waist grew even tighter.

"Oh, talk dirty to me. I love it." Jeno teased you, flicking his tongue and you laughed.

"Shut up." You hit him in the shoulder and he just pulled your body closer against his.

Jeno grinned crookedly once more and felt your body heat melting into his. You were warm and soft. You were so many things, that no word could really encompass them all. The vibration from the car engine caused you both to vibrate against each other just a bit, and this was making your thighs warmer.

You felt a little awkward, straddling Jeno’s lap, with his hands on your waist but it didn't feel wrong either. The only reason it felt awkward was however because, despite dating Jeno for four long years all those years ago — you were never in a position with him like this. Jeno respected your boundaries and it had unfortunately never gone past innocent make out sessions. 

"I like you a lot." Jeno said quietly, enjoying this tender warm moment between you two.

"When did you first like me?” You chuckled, and his skin tickled when you moved your arms upwards and rested them on his shoulders. You placed your hands along the sides of his head, running your fingers in his hair behind his ears.

"The first day, when you transferred to our class in freshman year." You replied, looking up into your face lovingly. “I know, I was just 14 but you were seriously the prettiest person I had ever seen. It took like a week for me to develop a crush on the new girl. You know, it was hard being the class president and showing the cute girl around the school.” You were in awe. You never knew Jeno had liked you, for so long. The question never came up and you simply assumed he had developed a silly crush on you sometime during the month long science project in sophomore year.

Even though the only source of the light was the dimly lit light at the roof of the car, you could still see how red Jeno was. “What about you, when did you like me?” 

After a second you licked at your lips and spoke. “Not as long as you did.” You were shy to admit it. “I don’t remember exactly. It was like one day I was in class and something in my brain just went, Jeno is really cute.” Jeno smiled at that. “It was during your birthday when it truly hit, I have the biggest crush on this guy.” 

"Little Y/N had a little crush on little me!” Jeno teased in a mocking, baby voice. In return, he just got hit by you in the chest. “No seriously though, I can't believe it. I mean you were so fucking cute, it was understandable for me to have a crush on you. What made you look at me and go, I’m gonna have the biggest crush on this loser?”

You smiled, cupping his face and caressing the mole near his lips. “I don’t know. Something about you made me never look at anyone the same way again.” 

"I’ve missed you yelling at me, by the way." Jeno chuckled, trying to lighten the mood now that it was getting a little sentimental.

A sly grin made its way onto your face, "Are you saying you missed me bossing you around?"

"How couldn't I?" Jeno answered with a question, and looked into your eyes. “It used to be helpful sometimes, I won’t lie. The angry ‘go to sleep right now’ texts every night used to help me sleep a little earlier.” 

"I don't know, you're kind of an ass." You teased him. “I’m not gonna tell a grown man to go to sleep now. A man your age should know when the perfect bedtime is!” 

Jeno shook his head and leaned in closer, pretending to compel you. "I kinda do want you to become my portable alarm again."

You rolled your eyes, "Nope."

"I thought you liked me." Jeno said, popping the p.

You laughed and he grinned, moving his hands upwards and putting them on your face and caressing your cheek. Your face went a little more serious, and you looked to the side, seeing his fingers on your face from your peripheral vision. "Jeno," you said slowly, recognising the look on his face.

"Mhm?" he hummed, and pulled you even close to him.

You had a strong feeling about what was about to happen, but you didn't move, you didn't pull away and you didn't even speak. A car passed behind you two to the left, and the orange hue from the light posts illumined inside. The rain still continued to drum against the exterior, with no signs of stopping any time soon. 

Jeno leaned inwards and pressed his lips against yours. Your eyes closed, and you were still for a moment, but when he didn't back away, you kissed him back softly. This kiss quickly grew more intense, and Jeno kissed you deeper, tugged onto your hips, to pull you even closer against him. To the point that there was no room in between.

Your hands tangled in the back of his hair, and he growled low in his chest. He slid his hands underneath your t-shirt, touching the warm soft skin of your stomach and sides.

Your head was spinning, and you broke the kiss to breathe, but Jeno didn't stop. He ran his tongue along your parted lips and moved his hands downwards, tucking his fingertips into the elastic of your skirt.

"Jeno." You said, remembering that you needed to get back to the resort again. However, your head went dizzy again as Jeno moved his face down to your neck and kissed along your skin. "Jeno, we need to get to the resort." You breathed shakily.

Jeno mumbled incoherently and you shivered when you felt his tongue run along your neck, all the up to your jawline and back down. You felt him grind his hips upwards against yours and between your legs, a wetness was pooling. "Fuck." you breathed heavily, but with all the willpower you had you pushed his head back up to look at you.

"We have to go back." You reminded him. “It’s almost 5 AM.” 

Jeno took a breath and blinked, getting his own thoughts together, but continued to run his fingers underneath your skirt until one of his hands was resting against the top of your pantie line. "Alright." He said roughly, "But, we’re continuing this later."

Jeno was going to have you eventually, no matter what the circumstances were. It wasn't a request, it was a fact.

You licked at your lips, "Of course."

Jeno peeked into Jaemin’s room where he was crouched on the floor in front of his luggage, seemingly folding a few of his clothes into the bag. Jeno entered the room, hoping that he could waste some time with him before everyone finally got dressed for whatever seafood restaurant Renjun had discovered. 

“Did you sleep well?” Jaemin took a glance at him when the door creaked open and asked with his back turned to him. 

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Jeno could never get himself to lie to his friends for too long, especially Jaemin. He had seen and known it all — Jeno’s secrets, insecurities and even his heartbreaks and embarrassments. “Y/N and I went out on a drive.” 

Jaemin sighed, ignoring the fact that Jeno lied and kept it away from him last night. Instead he gave him a small smile. “Where did you guys go?” 

“The beach.” Jeno sat down on the edge of Jaemin’s unmade bed. “Yeah, just the sea road.”  

Jaemin’s dramatic gasp caught Jeno’s attention. He walked into the room and plopped down on the bed, the look of disbelief plastered on his face. “You’re back with Y/N?” 

Jeno didn’t say anything but the giddy smile on his face gave it away. “Yeah.” He noticed Jaemin’s smile faltering a little, yet he decided to continue anyway. “We thought about it for a while and decided to give it a try again.” 

Jaemin smiled at him, sincerely this time. “I’m happy for you.”

“I still can't believe you hate rom coms now.” Jeno slowly and soothingly ran his fingers through your scalp and hair. His elbows dug into the pillow but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He found himself smiling fondly, watching you getting comfortable under his touch. “Since when do you hate them?” 

“A very silly reason.” You giggled and opened your eyes to look up at him from the comfort of his lap. “I watched To All The Boys I've Loved Before way too many times that I started despising the entire genre at some point. I think I prefer thriller or horror movies now.”

“You don’t like About Time?” 

“Boring.” You rolled over onto the pillow and looked him in the eye. “I’ve grown up and realised that the romance genre of movies are simply setting unrealistic standards of relationships for the younger generation.” You paused for a second and thought about what to say next. Jeno on the other hand enjoyed watching you ramble. “You’ve got movies like Fifty Shades of Grey and it can be your guilty pleasure, I guess. I’m no one to kink shame.” 

Jeno laughed at your comment. “I’ve never watched that movie.” He admitted. “The reviews online threw me off.” 

“Good. It romanticises a manipulative and abusive relationship and I believe there are better movies out there if you wanna watch some BDSM action.” You sat up straight against the headboard comfortably. “You also have movies like Romeo and Juliet and let me tell you, no man is dying for you. That’s just not realistic at all.” 

“What if he’s like, madly in love?” Jeno tried. 

“That’s still not justifiable. The lover you died for probably would rather want you to live a healthy, long life.” You tried to convince him. “I mean, at least I would. I don’t want anyone to die for me.” 

“Look at it like this,” Jeno also sat up now to prove his point. You tried to suppress your laughter as he waved and moved his hands around in the process. “I think dying for your lover is justifiable in a sense that, what if you had to save their life? Or maybe a life or death situation? I would personally sacrifice myself when it comes to a situation like that.” 

“Fine.” You conceded with a chuckle. “You do have a valid point, but my point still stands about Fifty Shades of Grey. That movie sucks.” 

Jeno fell back onto the pillow again, laughing till he could feel the tears in his eyes because the way you talk about movies was genuinely amusing to him. He could watch you ramble all day. 

“Don’t laugh at me.” You smacked him in the chest lightly. 

“You watch a lot of movies, don’t you?” 

You rolled over to face him, your palm now resting under your chin. “I used to be the vice president of the film club in my college.” 

“That explains the professional film critic side of yours.” Jeno pinched your cheek. You swatted his hand away and he added, “Tell me about your life in college and I will tell you about mine.” 

“It was boring.” That made him giggle. 

“It can’t be that boring. Your film club made you a professional critic, I think that you had an amazing college life.” 

You sighed. “I was in the film club and that was really the start of my love for horror movies, even though I’m still a little jumpy when it comes to certain scenes. I love psychological horror movies. Other than that I was reviewing restaurants and watching soccer games.” You thought about all the memories you made and continued. “Did I tell you, I met the guy I dated for a few months at one of these horror movie screenings?” 

“Why did you guys call it off?” Jeno didn’t want to sound overbearing, he was just merely curious. 

“Nothing against him. He was nice, a little possessive. It wasn’t my cup of tea.” You paused to giggle at the curious expression on Jeno’s face, waiting for you to continue with your story telling. “The sex was horrible though.” 

“Damn.” Jeno laughed. 

“Yeah.” You agreed. “What about you?” The context was already lost to Jeno, you could tell from his expression. “I mean, how is college life?” You clarified, propping yourself up on your elbows. 

“I’m an engineering student, computer engineering to be specific. Do you really expect my life to be as eventful as yours?” 

“Don’t generalise poor computer engineers like that!” You beamed. “What’s a typical day in the life of our Jeno like?” 

“Programming, staring at JavaScript for hours with a side of free back pains, lots of coding, yeah that’s pretty much what my life is right now.” Jeno sighed dramatically. “Not as eventful as yours. I have a very sedentary job.” He tittered. “You guys probably go to Michelin star restaurants for a living.” 

To that you laughed heartily, waving your hand around in denial. “I never said that! I research different stories everyday, the restaurant review days are long gone.” You successfully made out the words in between your laughter. “Tell me about America then? I want to visit the Hollywood Sign one day. The photos I see online are quite tempting.” 

“I never knew vegan food had the ability to taste good before moving to California. Don’t get me wrong, I respect vegans and their diet restrictions but it was really never appealing to me. Till one day, I tried a bean burger and that shit changed my life forever.” Jeno readjusted his position on the bed to fish his phone out of his pocket and he motioned you to come closer. “I’ve gone hiking near the Hollywood Sign once. It has great views, especially the sunset but the sore legs are crazy the next day.” He opened the photos app and scrolled past tons of images for a while. You peeked your head above his shoulder and got a glimpse of a shirtless mirror selfie, presumably at the gym which he just scrolled past.  

“Let me see that!” You failed miserably at trying to grab his phone. Jeno was quick enough to try and get his phone away which only made you fall on top of him in the process. Your palms rested on his chest and eyes fluttered over his features for the first time in years —  his lips, the high curve of his nose, the moles near his lower lip, nose and the famous one beside his eyes. “I wanna see that photo.” You mumbled against his lips. 

“Never.” His voice was at a sinful octave before his lips met yours, finally kissing you. You pushed him back onto the pillow gently and he wrapped his arms around your waist, fully bringing you on top of him. Jeno snaked his hands under your t-shirt, his hands meeting the softness of your skin. You slowly trailed your hands down, exploring his body while your tongue explored his mouth. 

One of your hands slipped to his shoulder, pushing yourself closer to him. Jeno’s chest was now pressed against yours as you pressed your tongue against his. Your other hand landed on the exposed skin of his thigh, and he bucked his hips up followed by a whine when you slowly ran your nails down the skin. You decided to roll your hips against the tent in his shorts and Jeno finally pulled back from the kiss with a groan, yet you continued rolling your hips against his. 

“Y/N,” He groaned again and you took the chance to trail wet kisses down his jaw and neck.“I’m gonna cum in my pants if you keep doing this.” He tried to warn you, yet lolled his head back in pleasure. A soft whine left escaped your lips the moment you pictured the scenario. He was so hot like this, you thought you won’t be able to get yourself to stop even if you wanted to. 

Your hand slipped down his chest down to his shorts. Jeno sucked in a breath as your hand made contact with the bulge through the fabric, making you pause for a moment to gauge his reaction. When you were given no indication to stop, you cautiously continued, carefully cupping the outline of his bulge and feeling him through his clothes. Jeno’s low, breathy moans hit your ears, a thrill running down your spine at the sound. His response emboldened you to guide your hand to the waistband of his shorts. With a couple of tugs and his assistance, you pulled it down just enough to free his cock from its confines.

Your pulse jumped when you felt it twitch underneath your fingertips. It was stiff and you could barely wrap your whole hand around it but it felt so hot under your touch. You went back to kissing him again. Jeno laughed, a deep throaty laugh, “You’re going to be the death of me.” 

You pulled away and without thinking, you reached a finger up to rub at the tip, swiping the pad of your finger along the glistening slit. The effect was almost immediate — Jeno hissed with delight as you streaked more of the sticky fluid across the tip.

“Y/N, fuck.” Jeno’s forehead creased in pleasure as threw his head back. 

The way he whimpered your name had your blood thrumming with excitement, lust and curiosity. You wanted to see more of his reactions, to hear more of those noises and to hear him keep talking to you like that, to know just how good you were making him feel.

Your hand seemed to move on its own, gripping him and stroking him up and down. At first, your movements were a little hesitant, but the pretty moans that fell from his lips had you pumping your hand in earnest, experimenting and alternating ways.

The noises Jeno kept making only made you feel unbearably hot and bothered, heat overtaking your thoughts and senses. Jeno cracked his eyes open and observed you from under lashes and huffed a small laugh even as you had him literally in the palm of your hand.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice dropped to a growl, the gravelly sound scrambling your head and doing unspeakably lovely things to your core. You were barely able to register his hand curling around the back of your neck, only realising what was happening once his lips were on yours again. 

Jeno let out a rather loud whimper before he was swatting your hand away from cock. The sound he let out did nothing but only made your core ache more. “I’m gonna cum, stop.” He said with a breathy chuckle. 

“You don’t want me to make you cum?” You asked him and felt his length twitch under your palm. He didn’t respond immediately, only watching you with eyes that would only read as him wanting to devour you. 

“Can I make love to you?” 

It took a moment for your brain to process what he said, and even then there was a moment where you couldn't help but waffle a little bit. Thankfully, Jeno’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “Please, pretty girl?”

A shiver ran through you and before you knew it, your lips were on his again. Jeno took this as a sign of a green flag given by you and one of his hands trailed down to your skirt. He gave it a single prompting tug, all while his tongue continued to explore in your mouth. He pulled away first. “Take these off for me, baby.”

You complied and clumsily pulled both your skirt and panties off. Even in your dazed state of mind, you couldn’t help but notice how your panties off with a strand of your arousal that glistens in the low light of the room, connected to a dark, wet patch in the centre of the clothing. Heat creeped up its way up your neck at the realisation of just how much of a mess Jeno made of you with nothing but the way he looked at you, and you couldn’t help but wonder about the other ways he could mess you up.

But that soon became a thought for another day because Jeno coaxed you back over his lap. You took a hold of his shoulders while you placed your knees on either side of his thighs, and there was an awkward half-second where you were not quite sure if you were meant to sit down or not.

“This is awkward.”

Jeno shook his head and flashed you an assuring smile. “No, this is perfect.”

What was actually perfect was the sweet sound you made when his fingers swiped up against your dripping slit. A single motion coated his fingers in your slick and he was eager to dive in for more. Your breath caught in your throat when you felt him steadily slide a single thick digit inside, pulling it out and pushing it back in slowly. Jeno trailed wet kisses down your jaw and neck. “Is this okay?” 

You could only whimper along with a few nods as the grip on his shoulder tightened, nails burrowing into the fabric of his shirt as he stretched you with his finger. Gasps and moans of his name squeezed past your throat when you felt his thumb circle your clit. 

The pleasure gradually building in your veins only made it hard for you to think and even harder to properly keep yourself up on your knees for him, and your forehead came to rest on his shoulder. A second finger joined the first, stretching you open and making your thighs tremble with the effort to stay upright.

You made a breathy noise of realisation when you saw his cock still standing at attention and very much unattended. An idea crossed your mind and you reached out to take hold of him and began to stroke him again.

Jeno choked out a curse that dissolved into murmured, delirious praise that you could hardly make out. It was difficult not to lose your concentration and fumble when his fingers hit that spot inside of you. Your walls started to spasm around his digits and all you could do was pant weakly against the side of his neck. 

“Are you gonna cum, pretty girl?” His voice was hot in your ears and the best response you could muster was a whine. “That’s it, that’s a good girl. You’re doing so good for me. Just let go.”

And you do, unable to hold back any longer and only further spurred by his command. You clutched his t-shirt, wrinkling the fabric as you gush on his fingers, practically sucking them in while you stuttered his name between choked breaths.

Still lost in your post-orgasm daze, you could only think of the man beside you to fuck your brains out. It was probably the lack of sex for the past few but you felt like a sex crazed demon. Jeno hovered above you and you were quick enough to reconnect your lips with his. Jeno flipped the two of you over, propping himself above you with his forearms this time.

“You’re so fucking small.” He drawled, tugging your shirt over your head before placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. Jeno looked so much bigger and stronger, hovering above you — you could feel yourself getting embarrassingly wet and aroused just at the thought of him ruining you like this. All you wanted was to get fucked by him right now.  You unhooked your

bra and helped him remove his t-shirt too and with the both of you entirely naked before each other. “So pretty.” 

You laid back down onto the pillow and placed both of your arms around his neck. “Please, just fuck me already.” 

Jeno only gave you a sly smirk and you found yourself letting out a rather loud moan as he handled you so forcefully, his fingers pinching your nipples, mouth only inches away from yours. You pulled him close, fingers tangled in his hair, and moaned softly as Jeno covered your mouth with his. It was one of those long, intoxicating kisses, tongues probing each other's mouths, fingers wandering anywhere it can get away with.

And then a few aggressive knocks on the door resounded through the hotel room and the two of you immediately halted all of your actions. You could already hear the faint voices of Donghyuck and Jaemin talking on the other side of the door. You looked at Jeno exasperatedly. “Were you expecting them?” 

“Fuck my life.” Jeno dropped his head onto your shoulder. “We were supposed to have a game night.”

“Jeno! Are you asleep?” The knocks on the door just kept getting louder and louder. 

There went your plans of getting dicked down. 

“You guys can go ahead, I’m coming!” Jeno yelled back while throwing a very sincere apologetic look down at you. 

“Be there in 15 minutes.” There was one loud knock on the door and the footsteps outside started fading out into the hallway. “I wanna die.” Jeno dropped his head back onto your shoulder. 

“Do you think you can skip this?” He lifted his head back up. You badly wanted to get railed right now and you hoped that Jeno couldn’t sense the desperation in your voice — but if you could punch Jeno and his friends, you would. 

“They’re gonna kill me.” You took the opportunity to raise yourself from the pillow and press soft and gentle kisses to Jeno’s lips. “We don’t have condoms anyway.”

You wanted to cry, you really did but that was just how the universe worked. There were no condoms available to begin with and no matter how sexually frustrated you were — you were never gonna fuck without a condom. “Can I make you cum before you go?” You pleaded and you absolutely hated how you probably sounded like a sex crazed demon. “Please?”

How could Jeno say no when the woman of his dreams looked so ethereal pleading underneath him. The random shooting game and his friends could wait. 

Your eyes widened at Jeno’s sudden attack of fierce kisses, but you responded eagerly nonetheless as your lips moved in sync with him. A harsh intake of breath filled your lungs when the kiss broke apart, he was panting like you but the burning love in his eyes now became one with unbridled desire. “What about your game?” You asked, looking intensely at his now kiss-swollen lips.

“Fuck the game.” Jeno placed a chaste kiss on your lips and rolled over so that you could be on top of him now. As he laid back, half-sitting against the pillows, he splayed himself underneath you and licked his lips. They were swollen against your own when you leaned forward to kiss him again.

With a smile you straddled his hips and ran your nails down his chest once more, leaving light lines over it.

Jeno shivered at the contact, and groaned when one of those hands slid down to wrap around his hard cock. You gave the head a squeeze and he bucked up into your fist. You were definitely making him cum tonight. 

Your hand moved slickly over his cock, slow then fast, up and down then twisting. You tried to mix up your movements to string him along as much as possible — from the sounds and the involuntary spasms he made you succeeded. Jeno moaned and gasped and you could only feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. 

His breath became a raspy groan as you continued to pump his cock at the pace he wanted and with a deep groan, every muscle in his body tensed like he was going to snap, then in the next moment thick cum spurted over your fist and his toned stomach. Jeno sat back, his eyes impossibly dark and glinting with lust. He grabbed the back to your neck, bringing his lips to yours. “I swear you're gonna be the death of me.” 

Jeno flipped the two of you over again before he propped himself above you. His cum from earlier dripped down onto your stomach making a whole, sticky mess — but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care when he had two of his fingers plunged deep inside you again as he was trailing kisses down your body till you could feel his breath fanning against your dripping core. 

“Jen—fuck, wait, wait!” You tried to catch your breath. “I have never done this before.” 

Jeno looked up, the lust filled gaze of his faded into one of both concern and confusion as the words left your mouth. “You’ve never had your pussy eaten before?” 

“Surprise?” 

“Wow, okay.” He let out a chuckle humorlessly as he tried to catch his breath, all whilst his fingers slowly moved inside you. “Fuck, I’m gonna make you feel like a princess tonight.” 

And with that you felt his warm tongue glide through your folds, you gasped out his name, throwing your head back at the foreign sensation. Your toes curled as Jeno’s tongue circled around your sensitive nub causing you to buck your hips forward, fingers making their way into his hair, grabbing at his hair to bring him closer. “Fuck, this feels so good.”

Jeno’s phone rang somewhere in the room, probably a call from Renjun or Donghyuck, which he blatantly ignored and continued to pepper the inside of your thighs in the form of deep red marks. The tip of his middle finger slowly traced over your core, coating his finger with your juices and of his saliva. You shuddered at the feeling of the coolness of the ring on his fingers sliding against your folds, yearning for them to be inside of you. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” 

All you could do was whimper in pleasure as he plunged two of his fingers back into you without any warning and continued to fuck you, tongue brushing past your clit in lewd motions "Princess, you’re close?" He pulled his mouth away from your core, but his fingers continued to plunge into you. Jeno looked up at you with lustful eyes, glistening lips and the pleasant sight was enough to take you over the edge, the pads of his fingers grazed over the sensitive spot one last time before your orgasm took over your body, hips bucking against his fingers— you mewled as he continued to brush his finger against that one spot inside. 

When your breathing faltered, you immediately got up and kissed him passionately, tasting yourself on his warm, swollen lips. His arms snaked low around your waist as he held you close. You felt a familiar warmth begin to course through you again. “Please, I need you.” You started running your hands slowly down his chest to his thighs, sending a small shiver up his spine. Your hands continued to travel along his body, smoothly caressing his hips and back. 

“We don’t have a condom.”

“Fuck the condom.” The desperation was so clear in your voice now. “Just pull out, please. I’ll just take an emergency pill if necessary.” 

Jeno chuckled lightly and kissed your temple. “Are you sure?” 

“Please. I’ll go crazy if you don’t fuck me right now.” 

You gasped when he suddenly crashed his lips onto yours in desperation, and you fell back on top of the pillow again before he was crawling over your figure. You swallowed the lump in your throat when you took a glance at his cock — it was girthy as the pre cum oozed out of his angry tip and you hated to interrupt him yet again. “Jeno, um,”

“Hey, it’s okay. I know I have a—” He paused and laughed hesitantly, realising that he would sound a little too cocky if he finished the sentence. 

“No, shit. I can see that you have a big dick.” You laughed a little too. “I’ll kick you in the face if you don’t put that big dick of yours inside me right now.” Jeno slapped your thigh and shut you up with a gentle kiss on the lips. “Please, just go slow.” 

“I would never even think of hurting you.” He reassured you with a smile and kissed the corner of your mouth before going back to his original position. 

Jeno slowly started sliding his tip against your core, coating it in your juices. You shuddered at how close he was to finally plunging deep inside of you, but still so far away. You whimpered as he continued to do so, and although you've already had your orgasm, there's still an aching need in the pit of your stomach. He leaned down to capture your lips in a deep kiss. “Let me know if you feel uncomfortable.” 

Jeno muttered something under his breath as he dragged his cock down your slit, collecting your juices before pushing the tip in a little, only to pull out hissing. “Oh my god, you’re so tight.” He giggled, in an attempt to keep your nerves down as his fingers replaced his cock, three long digits pushing deep inside. 

You let out a breathy chuckle, not expecting him to use his fingers again. “The struggles of having a big dic —ah!” Your words were cut off when his fingers brushed against that one spot inside. 

“Don’t flatter me like that.” You watched him stretch your pussy, his brows pushed together as his mouth hung slightly open. Reaching forward, you wrapped an arm around his neck, pulling him out his focus as he tried not to completely fall on top of you.

“Jen...Please.” Trying to pull his mouth to yours, you whined as he rolled his hips and his cock slid into your entrance, and started to push in. Two fingers weren’t enough to loosen you up for him, but it was enough to make the stretch delicious and not as painful. 

“Oh my god. You feel so good.” You couldn’t help but let out a breathy giggle as he muttered that into your neck, tense as he tried his hardest to stay still long enough for you to adjust.

You rolled your hips to give him the hint to move a little. Jeno groaned and positioned himself above you on his forearms to roll his hips back into you, his arms slightly shaking. Jeno sealed your soft moans with a heated kiss on your lips. He slowly slid his lips to kiss your jawline, then moved them down to kiss the side of your neck, smiling when he heard you quietly whimper. “Faster, please a little faster.” 

He picked up the pace of his hips, rutting into you at a slightly faster pace, his arms pinned on either side of you. Your hair splayed out messily against the white sheets, jaw slacked as profane noises fell past your mouth. 

His name was all you could whine as he continued to fuck into you deeply. Jeno pulled you closer by your thighs and helped you put your legs around his waist, allowing him to fuck you even deeper in this new found position — the sensation of the tip of his cock rubbing against your sensitive spot which caused your nails to sink into the skin of his muscular biceps. 

“Are you gonna cum for me?” He kissed the corner of your mouth before sealing your moans. The pace he was going at was so much faster and so much deeper. His tip hit the same spot over and over again, a sensation that induced you to whimper his name loudly before arching your back off the bed. 

You continued to whimper into his mouth, clutching at his arms. Jeno’s deep grunts and moans were like music to your ears as you felt your walls spasm around his cock. A knot had formed in the pit of your stomach which caused your entire body to shake, a new found sense that only Jeno had ever given you. You pulled away from the kiss, "I’m cumming!"

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the feeling took over your body, sending goosebumps all over your skin. You heard Jeno’s grunts becoming louder and you finally let go — your body went numb, core sensitive, but Jeno continued to fuck into you through your orgasm. 

Only you had the privilege of seeing Jeno above you, aroused beyond all measure, fucking you through your orgasm. Not only that, he was aroused because of you, and knowing that made you feel far sexier than you had ever felt in your whole life.

“Fuck, I’m gonna—” biting his lower lip Jeno nearly ripped himself away from you, pulling out of you just in time to spill all over your stomach. His cum splattered out in warm, sticky ropes onto your slightly sweaty skin.

“Holy shit." He practically collapsed onto you with a huff, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck and hugging you so tight as if you were to disappear into thin air if he would let go of you for just one second.

Jeno muttered something under his breath and leaned down to kiss you, lips moulding together— his hands, now gentle, caressing your hair as your hands cupped his face. And for the first time in a while, you felt butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach. Jeno pulled himself away from you after one last kiss on your forehead before walking away, picking up the discarded clothes scattered all over the floor and bed. 

“Do you wanna order pizza?” Jeno sat back down on the bed with a box of tissues in his hand. 

“Pizza after sex?” You joked lightheartedly and Jeno laughed. You watched him using a few tissues to wipe the cum on your stomach and the inside of your thighs. “Seafood pizza with extra squid, please.” 

“You literally read my mind.” 

Jeno stirred awake, the sunlight poking from between the hotel room curtains managed to remind him that his day was about to start. He refused to open his eyes though, knowing that the harsh sunlight would be enough to blind him early in the morning. But then remembered you and that was only when his eyes were wide open. 

Your head was resting gently on his bicep, your hair tickling his skin, and brows crinkled in a way that made Jeno want to reach out and smooth it away. His figure protected you from the sun, he realised, probably the only reason why you haven’t woken up before him, and he smiled as he pushed your hair from your cheek and kissed the top of your head.

Jeno didn’t want this moment to end, he had longed for something like this for way too long. He was happy. He didn’t know for how long he had been staring at you. You looked ethereal under the dim lights of the sun rays through the blinds. Jeno’s heartbeat was fast as he impulsively rested his thumb on your cheek and trailed up to brush a few strands of hair that had been covering your eyes. 

Butterflies erupted in the pit of Jeno’s stomach — he had fallen in love with you all over again and he would never get tired of this feeling. 

Jeno leaned down to capture your lips in a soft kiss. He pulled away when you stirred, finally, your forehead wrinkling as you turned away from him, grabbing a pillow and shoving your head under it.

“Good morning,” He whispered, and it felt so right as he shuffled closer to you, his arms straddling you as he leaned down to press gentle kisses on your exposed shoulder blades. “It’s time to wake up.” 

“I don’t wanna.” You muttered and Jeno grinned, a gentle chuckle escaping his lips as you moved the pillow from your face, rubbed your eyes and looked at him. Your frown softened into a gentle smile, you could never get mad at him. “Good morning.” You whispered back, and his heart leaped into his throat as you leaned up and kissed him.

He loved you so much it was almost unbelievable to him sometimes. 

Jeno’s lips moved from yours and kissed every part of skin that was bare to him. Your nose, collarbone, the dip of your chest. You giggled, cupping his face with your hands and pulling him close enough so that you could brush the hair away from his forehead and place a gentle kiss there. 

Jeno’s cheeks hurt from the way he couldn’t stop smiling. All because of you, because of the way you looked so beautiful when your hair fell around your face, because of how gently your hands cupped his face, because of how he fell into your arms and found a type of safety and warmth that he could never compare. If a person was home then you were his — and he was so happy to have you back in his life again. 

“You don’t wanna have breakfast?” Jeno caressed your cheek. “I’m hungry.”

“I wanna go back to sleep,” You grabbed his arms and put his bicep around yourself, “like this.” 

“Are you into headlocking?”

“Fuck, no.” You pushed his bicep away and rolled over, facing your back to him. 

The breakfast later was definitely a mistake. Jeno wished he had listened to you and went back to sleep. All eyes were on the two of you as soon he stepped into the breakfast area. Donghyuck gasped dramatically and a little too loudly when he saw Jeno — and you knew something ridiculous was gonna come out of him now. 

“Someone here just had,” He lowered the volume of his voice as he whispered the latter. “Sex!” 

That was enough. That was enough to get everyone starting a commotion. The other guests, starting from a family with toddlers and an elderly couple, started looking over in confusion and all you could do was bow apologetically. Jeno threw a middle finger at Donghyuck and made his way towards the table. It really did feel like a walk of shame at this point. 

“We thought both of you were never gonna show up!” Yeonjun laughed and he gave a look to Yeji before she leaned forward. “The walls aren’t that thick, you know.” 

Great. 

You wanted to drown yourself. 

This was indeed a walk of shame. 

There was a small knock on the door as you stuffed all of your clothing and shopping bags filled with unnecessary trinkets inside the luggage. You expected Jeno, he had promised to stop by your room after packing his own bag — but you were unexpectedly met with Jaemin when you cracked the door open. 

“Hey,” You greeted him, yet your voice feigned confusion. After all, you weren’t expecting Jaemin at all. “Do you want something?”

“May I come in?” Jaemin’s voice was stern and you couldn’t help but feel a little anxious.

You never really had the chance to get along with Jaemin. He had been your classmate for years before he was the best friend of your boyfriend. You knew about Jaemin more than you had ever wanted to — his hobbies, all the details about his love life, that one time he embarrassed himself in front of his middle school crush — it was easy to know it all when your boyfriend was his best friend since the diaper days. 

The breakup caused you to drift apart with Jaemin even further, considering how the bridge between your brief conversations with him had always been Jeno. You still followed him on your social media. You watched him get in and out of relationships, hang out with his friends, you knew everything about him yet you knew nothing. It was odd for Jaemin to be standing out of your door, when he had never seen you beyond his best friend’s girlfriend. 

“So, you’re back with Jeno?” Jaemin flashed you a reassuring smile as he stood by the door and you already knew the conversation wasn’t going to be long. 

“Yeah, we’re together now.” 

“Good.” Jaemin nodded. “Don’t hurt him again. He loves you.” 

Oh. 

You opened your mouth to say something you couldn’t form any words. Jaemin stayed quiet for a few seconds, waiting for you to say something. He took this as a sign for him to continue when the words never came out. “Jeno changed after you guys broke up. He wouldn’t really talk to us, he started working out every single day, he wasn’t really himself anymore.” Jaemin leaned against the door and added. “I’ve known him since we both were in kindergarten and he was the happiest with you. I don’t know what happened between you guys but I don’t want to see him go through that again.”

It had been four days and three nights since the trip had ended. Everyone went back to their busy lives and what remained were the memories and the photos plastered all over your social media now. The amount of phone calls and texts with Jeno kept increasing as the days went as well. Five hours long conversations at midnight? Check. Meaningless, silly voice messages exchanged at two in the morning? Check. 

Jeno spun his phone around on the bed, staring at it. Occasionally he would tap on your name which he had saved on his phone with a white heart emoji and stare at the screen, and then it would go dark from a minute of inactivity. Nervously, he called you with giddiness rising up to his chest. 

"Hey." You spoke softly and Jeno finally felt at ease. 

He took one deep breath. “How was work today?” 

“The same as everyday.” He heard you shuffling in the background before continuing. “How was your day?” 

“I slept throughout the entire day,” Jeno chuckled and added. “I ordered fried chicken a while ago too.” 

“I would die for some chicken and beer right now.” 

“Did you have dinner?”

“Yes sir.” 

“Come over one day.” Jeno rolled over on his bed and settled in comfortably. 

“Nope. I need you to come over to my place. I promised I’ll show around the mess in my apartment. Also,” You paused a little on the other end before continuing with a tired chuckle. “I miss having you around.” 

Jeno didn't want to think about the implications of that statement on the other end. He missed you too. All he could think about was you, watching horror movies with you even though he wasn’t the biggest fan of the scare that came along with it. He wanted to go on early morning bicycle rides with you again. Jeno wanted to tease you for your cooking, even though he knew it would end up being the best meal he has ever had — you had always been good at everything you do, at least that’s what Jeno truly believed. 

“When can I see you?” He took a deep breath again, “I really want to…” he said as he absently traced a finger along with the mattress stitching. “I sound very fucking clingy right now. Damn.”

He heard shuffling from your side again and then a tired chuckle. "Jen, do you know what day it was the day before yesterday?” 

Jeno ignored the way his heart started beating fast at the sudden mention of the nickname. Instead, he sat up straight against the pillow and thought for a moment. Your birthday? Never. He knew that by heart. “I don't think I know what day it was.…”

“You’re officially not clingy. Congratulations!” 

Jeno laughed at your incredulous response. “What? Why?”

“Nope. Now I’ll just sound like the crazy ex who never got over you. I’m taking this to my grave, sorry.” 

“Come onnn!” Jeno insisted. “You’re not my ex anymore, are you?”

“Are you officially asking me out over a phone call?” There was a hint of mischief in your voice.  

“Maybe?”

“How unromantic of you.” 

“I was never into that.” Jeno teased, knowing damn well that he was about to lose this battle. “Changing the topic won’t make me forget about whatever you’re hiding by the way.” 

“So, you really want me to be your crazy, clingy girlfriend? Is that how bad you want me?” 

“Are you gonna laugh at me if I say yes?” Jeno said softly.

“You’re like a muscle daddy and you’re still the cutest person ever.” You cooed. 

You were embarrassed. This was embarrassing. It was like a conversation between two teenagers who happened to have a crush on each other. You buried yourself under your covers in embarrassment as soon as the words left your mouth and you heard no response other than giggles from Jeno on the other end. 

Jeno on the other hand started giggling and kicking his feet in the air — another sign of this phone call conversation resembling one of high schoolers. 

“First of all, don’t call me muscle daddy ever again.” Jeno suppressed his laughter. “Second of all, you need to tell me about whatever date you were talking about. I won't be able to get myself to sleep otherwise.” 

“It’s nothing serious.” You insisted, trying to brush it off now. 

“Y/N.”

“Jeno.”

“Please?” 

“Don’t make that voice.” You could already imagine Jeno pouting like a child from the way he tried to pitch his voice higher.

“Please?” He did it again. 

“I’m too embarrassed to say it.” 

“You can tell me anything.” 

“We had our first kiss 8 years ago…” You wish you knew why something so mundane had you burying yourself in between your pillows. “We were kids back then, oh my. It was after lu—

“I love you.” Jeno interrupted you and then you were met with silence on his end for a few seconds. He sighed, whilst your blood rushed out of your body at the sudden confession from the other end. “You don’t need to say it back. I just wanted to make sure I said it first this time.” 

It was comical how Jeno still held the grudge for not being able to confess his love for you before you did 7 years back. It happened fast on a rainy day after school at the bus station, while you both held yours hands and shared one umbrella. The big ego of yours didn’t want to say it at first anyway but Jeno just looked so cute in his glasses, tired after a hectic day at school — you had to throw your ego aside and confess your love for your boyfriend of three months. 

You sighed. “Jeno Lee, you’re such a fucking loser. How am I still in love with you after all these years?”

“It’s my unforgettable handsome face and charming personality.”  “All jokes aside, you’re really the best thing that has happened to me and I’m very fucking sorry for being selfish and hurting you. I was wallowing in my own misery for years, thinking that I would simply just die alone. I drank wine and cried myself to sleep on our anniversaries every single year, wishing that I could be in your arms instead of hugging the same old cold pillow.” You stopped before it got overwhelming. “I love you Jen, I never stopped even for a second. I promise to never give you the chance to doubt my love for you again.” 

During the moment of silence on the other end, you were pretty sure Jeno was debating about hanging up, Instead, his tone remained soft. "I think I might die if I don’t see you.”

Your small cosy apartment was welcoming from the open door to the hallway. Upon the walls were the photographs of your graduation day from both college and high school, along with a few other photos of your family. There were a few vases with fresh flowers in them, a record player on the table along with other show pieces. All the memories and achievements of yours were captured and framed on a shelf in the living room. Jeno felt a flash of pride and he couldn’t hold himself back from grinning at the sight of all the certifications. He always believed in you.

Jeno observed your bedroom. The walls were a crème accompanied with wooden furniture just like the ones he saw in the living room. The comforter was pulled over your bed, even though you probably hadn't cleaned it. The results were lumps of varying sizes and shapes and the comforter was weighed down by your laptop. A few shelves were pushed against the walls and filled with books, plants and a small collection of perfumes.

There were a few photographs beside the certificates, mostly photos of you with unknown faces whom Jeno assumed to be your friends in college. And then he saw it; a small photo of you with him, Yeji, Yeonjun and Jaemin on the day of prom in the corner. You were in the black dress paired with the matching red rose corsage of yours with the boutonnière on Jeno’s tuxedo. His arms were wrapped around you almost dramatically, something about a fifth wheel joke by Jaemin that had resulted in that photograph being taken in the first place. Jeno chuckled a little at the big grin on both of your faces — only if the younger Jeno knew. He shoved all the memories of the break up aside. At least he was here back with you now, in your apartment, five years later. Fully knowing that you both had nothing but love, admiration and respect for each other. 

“We look like children here.” He gained your attention back while you stood in the kitchen, pouring a glass of wine for him. 

“What are you looking at?” You sauntered your way into the living room, where Jeno was. “Oh. Yeah, look at your hair.”

“My hair looks horrible.” His voice was grim at first and then you both giggled in unison. “You always look pretty anyway.” Jeno added before wine from the glass that you just handed him. 

“I look good with that tacky hairstyle?” Your laughter died down and Jeno felt two familiar arms wrap around his waist and your head resting on his back. He melted into your arms, losing himself in the embrace, feeling himself relax a little and feeling more at peace. That feeling when you were being enveloped by someone you love so much. It took seconds for Jeno to fall in love with that feeling all over again. 

“I love you.” You muttered after a long and comfortable silence. 

Jeno could only nod, turning around so he could face you. He placed a hand on your cheek gently, as if you were made out of glass and would break under any form of touch. Slowly, he pulled you closer, narrowing the space in between. It was so gentle, so slow, but exhilarating at the same time. The soft peck on the lips and forehead that Jeno just gave you was all you needed to feel right again. “I love you more.”

It had been eight days with a month left before Jeno left and he was practically living with you, in your apartment. It took him a day to unleash the inner child of yours — bowling dates, early morning cycling dates, game nights, movie nights and all the activities you hadn’t even thought of in years. You finally had something to look forward to at the end after a weary day at work. 

Over the course of the week, Jeno developed a habit of kissing your face every time he got the chance and you did too. Sometimes these kisses were filled with more passion or more desperation than others, but most of the time it was just content to hold each other close. You joked about the excessive amount of kisses shared, but Jeno’s only response had been ‘we’re making up for the time lost’ and you couldn’t agree more. 

You learned a lot more about Jeno and it hit you, he was no longer the foolish teenager now. Jeno was surprisingly an amazing cook too. It became a habit for you to look forward to whatever was cooking up in your kitchen. He was everything you had ever asked for — you loved him so dearly, you didn’t know it was possible for you to love a human being like that.

As the saying said, love can make you blind — it was indeed true. The fact that Jeno would leave soon completely slipped out of your mind, and that was none of your worries now. 

Jeno walked into the living room after his shower and found you in the living room, laying on the sofa. You were wrapped up in a small blanket from head to toe, which seemed odd to him. Soft pop music played on the record player that resonated throughout the room as he made his way towards you. He leaned in to brush a chaste kiss to your temple before he joined you on the sofa. His lips were soft and warm, the scent of your body wash hanging around him, and it was overwhelming in the best of ways. 

“I think we might need another bottle,” Jeno murmured, taking an empty glass to pour a glass of red wine for himself. “How was work today?”

“It’s the same everyday.” You got up and leaned forward to fetch your own glass off the table. “I’m supposed to write an article right now, actually.” You take another sip, enjoying the way warmth spread across your stomach. “Nothing can make me work on a Friday night though.”

“I think that’s a master plan.” Jeno watched you for a moment, eyes calculating. “I just want you to relax a bit,” He said and gently placed the wine glass back onto the table before he laid down on your lap. 

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” You said, fingers brushing through his towel-dried hair. It was a little damp, cool despite the warmth still clinging to him from his shower, and you enjoyed the feeling with a happy smile. “This is relaxing to me.”

“Hmm,” Jeno hummed, enjoying the way your fingers combed through his damp hair. He turned to face you, arm wrapping around your waist as he pressed his face into your stomach. It drew excitement through you, the ticklish feeling of young love dancing across your skin. 

“Jen,” you whispered after a few minutes, your fingers still combing through his hair.

Jeno pulled away enough to look up at you. If you didn’t know better, you would think he was drunk. But, you do know better and the sleepy look in his eyes all but overstated the fact that he could not hide his emotions from you. 

“Are you happy?”

“Of course.”

“Do you mean it? You’re happy?”

“Every minute with you makes me happy, even when you’re annoying the shit out of me.” Jeno laid back down and questioned you this time. “Are you happy?” 

“Happier than ever.” You laughed and finished off your wine, heat rushing through your body as you melted into the leather of the sofa. “Don’t get bored of me.”

He was quiet, fingers ghosting under your t-shirt and drawing circles against your skin. It was deliberate but, in your drunken state, it left you feeling like you were flying, and a grin spread across your face as you leaned your head onto the back of the sofa. Still brushing through his hair, you asked, “Do you miss California?”

“A little. I do miss all of my favourite cafes and my apartment, ”Jeno paused and then he suddenly looked up at you. “Wait, did I tell you the beach is literally 5 minutes away from my place?” 

“It’s fun there, isn’t it?” Your lips curled up in a smile. “You get the best of both worlds.” 

“I mean,” Jeno said, voice hanging in the air as his fingers continued to draw over your skin. “You have the bustling city on one side and the most beautiful beaches on another.” He paused and looked up at you again. “Do you think.…you can visit me before I return for good?” 

You began to laugh, leaning into him when he sat up to amusedly watch you. Instead of teasing him about missing you or something, you tilted your chin for a kiss that he returned easily- lazily, even. “I mean it.” Jeno murmured, taking your face in your hands. “I would love to show you around.” 

You grinned. “Promise?”

Jeno smirked, eyes honest and unguarded in the comfort of your home. “I’m serious about showing you around LA.” He breathed before he kissed you.

“I think it would be fun to go everywhere with you.”

Jeno said nothing before he was kissing you again. His tongue brushed yours as he kissed you deeply, thumbs brushing your cheeks and running the length of your jaw. “You have to promise.”

“I might be a little wine drunk right now but I love you and I do want to promise.” You giggled. “Let’s pray that my work doesn’t hate me and I get a few days off, whenever it is.” You pecked a kiss on his forehead gently this time. The song that was playing earlier and the melody of the next song had started. “I fucking hate this song.”

The soft music that came from the direction of your record player grabbed Jeno’s attention. He couldn’t help the giant smile that grew on his face when he recognised the song. “I like this, why?” 

“18 is kinda overplayed.” 

Jeno got up from the sofa and your arm was pulled taut before your body began to stumble after him. “What are you doing?” You were bemused though your tone had changed to become one that was a little more vibrant.

Jeno raised a brow as he took in your bewildered state. He pulled once gently, the motion sending your body crashing into his as his free hand splayed across the small of your back. You were impossibly close, chest pressed against one another with not a centimetre of space in between. “What does it look like we’re doing?” 

You pulled your hand free from his grasp, moving one hand to the nape of his neck while the other rested against his back. Jeno’s left hand moved from his side to around your back, resting beside the other one. You could melt under his touch, forming a puddle in the middle of the floor. 

You did love him, a lot.

“Looks like you’re forcing me to do some dancing.” 

Jeno chuckled, giving you an unimpressed look at the snarky comment. But inwardly he released a sigh of contentment as the frown you had been donning began to smooth into a fine line. "Do you remember the first time we danced to this song?"

You smiled softly with a breath filled laugh, the corners of your eyes crinkling. "I do."

For as long as you lived, you would never forget what it felt like to be in his arms. That one evening, after school in your empty house when Jeno came over to help you with the physics homework. You both danced to the generic pop songs of that time like the the only ones in the world. That was also the day Jeno showed you a side of his no one had seen before. 

Just as it had been that evening, Jeno’s touch was gentle but this time it gave a bit of the reassurance as the stroke of his thumb rubbed soothingly along the fabric of your back eliciting a shiver. 

Jeno began to hum along the song quietly under his breath, a stray word or three falling past his lips upon reaching the chorus. The corners of your mouth turned upwards to form a grin as you rested your head against his chest. The song faded out from the one and into another that held an upbeat melody. Yet you still swayed, wrapped up in the arms of one another. 

“I have loved you since we were 16.” You raised your head from his chest, meeting his eyes that danced with so much love. He laughed and added, "or 16, I don't know."

“What are you talking about?" Your voice feigned confusion.

"The lyrics say I have loved you since we were 18," Jeno had a proud grin on his face. "I'm making this about myself."

You rolled your eyes with a retort on the tip of your tongue. “You’re so corny.”

“Come on! I thought this was kinda romantic.” Jeno chortled. "This romance shit really isn't for me."

You laughed along and rested your head back against his chest, tightening your hold as the sound of his heart beating rhythmically reached your ears. He swayed you both back and forth to the beat of the music until you suddenly brought the movements to a halt. Your hands moved to rest upon the tops of Jeno’s shoulders. “Thank you." 

There was no need to ask you what for, but rather Jeno used his words in another way as he met your lips halfway. The touch was soft, gentle, and you sighed. Coming back back onto your heels, you pulled your lips away from Jeno’s as a feathering breath fell against his lips.

His lips followed yours, not giving you a second to catch your breath as he seemed out something of his own.

"How about," He rasped, resting his forehead against yours. "You go hop in the shower while I make us ramen with some crispy fried eggs."

You grinned and nodded in delight. Your gaze softened as you stood on the tips of your toes to place a soft and lingering kiss to the underside of his jaw before you turned on your heel and made your way towards the bedroom.

You turned around again and Jeno watched as your face softened. That sight would never fail to make his heart skip a beat. "You know I love you, right?"

Jeno shook his head though the corners of his lips remained upturned. "There has never been a doubt in my mind about that.” His voice was soft and tender. “I love you too.”

"I know you do."

He chuckled as he grabbed a pot from where it was stored in the cupboards. "Go."

The sun was strong when you woke up, streaming through a crack in the curtains and directly onto your face in a thin strip. You cracked a single eye open and glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. 8:30 AM blinked at you repeatedly, demanding that you get up, but you were far too comfortable. Jeno’s arms held you close to his warm torso in a loose grip while deep breath rustled your hair.

You didn’t want to disrupt his sleep while he slept so peacefully, so you tried to wriggle out of his arms and crawl out of bed. Though, as soon as he felt you move, his hold around you tightened. “Don't go,” he said, his voice groggy and deep in your ear.

“I can’t, I need to make breakfast.”

“We can have breakfast later.”

“Just a little longer then,” You rolled over in his arms again.

Your head rested on his chest as you listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat and melted into him while he stroked his warm palm up and down your arm. The only sounds were his heartbeat, both of your breathing, birds singing outside, and the occasional cars driving by in the distance. Nothing could have penetrated the little world that you had created for yourself.

“Any plans for today?” You asked him, voice soft as you curled a lock of his hair around your finger.

“Not really,” Jeno said sleepily before yawning deeply. “Sleep, hang around here, maybe finish some work. I might go see Donghyuck and Jaemin in the evening.”

“Sounds like a good plan,” You said as you gently stroked his jaw with the back of your finger, watching as he leaned into your touch like a kitten.

Jeno snaked his arms down your side to rest in the small of your back. He pulled you closer to him and used his free hand to tilt your chin up to meet his gaze. His eyes were still glazed over and dreamy, but you could see the smile in them when he looked at you. He ran his rough thumb over your lower lip, parting them just slightly before he leant down, lips connecting in a soft kiss.

You trailed your hands down from his face to his chest, palms flat against him and gently pushed him to lie on his back, chasing after him without breaking off the kiss. Jeno chuckled briefly against your mouth as he pulled you to straddle him. “Glad to see we have the same idea here.” he mumbled against your lips.

You pulled away from him, sat up and slowly took off the shirt you had ‘borrowed’ from him the night before. He watched as the black t-shirt slipped over your skin, revealing more and more of you to him until you were left in just your panties.

Taking your hips in his hands, Jeno kept you still as he slowly rolled his hips up into you, pushing his quick hardening cock against you. He noticed you shudder and smiled when a soft whine was drawn past your lips. “Feel good, sweetheart?” 

You felt your whole body flush as your core clenched in anticipation. Jeno steadied you in his lap as he shuffled up to rest against the headboard, giving himself a better position to roam your body. His palms skimmed up your sides, leaving goosebumps in the path until they reached your tits. You released a shaky breath when you felt his thumbs stroke over your nipples and continued to roll your hips against him, head lolling back and eyes closing.

A surprised moan flew out of your mouth when Jeno took his chance to lay soft, damp kisses on your exposed neck, leaving a couple of tiny bites and soothing them with his tongue as he continued to fondle you.

“Please, baby,” You mewled.

His cock twitched at hearing you be so needy. “Please what?” he asked coyly, his voice low in your ear.

“Please fuck me.”

He immediately let go of your nipples and dug his fingers into your panties, toying with the waistband while brushing against your skin. “Can I take these off?”

You lifted yourself up and let Jeno pull the soft cotton panties down and off of you, leaving you completely bare to him. Before you could sit on his lap again, he kept you still with a hand on your hip while the fingers of his other hand swept through the wet folds, gathering up your arousal and spreading it around. Your breath hitched at his touch and you brought your right hand up to your mouth, trying to muffle the tiny moans.

“No,” Jeno took your hand in his and led it away from your face. “Let me hear you.”

A soft moan escaped your mouth when you felt his fingers circle your clit, his pace so slow you could have cried. “Does that feel good?”

You shifted your hips forward as your back arched, his fingers slipping through the arousal and away from your clit into the entrance. “Want my fingers inside you?” he asked, mouth ghosting your ear and voice so low you could feel it rumble in his chest.

“Want your cock, baby.” You breathed, hands already braced on his shoulders, ready to ride him.

You whined when he drew his hands away from you. You watched him as he pushed his sweatpants down just enough to free his hard cock. Your pussy clenched in anticipation at the sight of him beneath you and you swallowed thickly as you took him in your palm. Your hand pumped him a few times before you sank onto him, your tight pussy swallowing him and squeezing so hard his eyes rolled back.

“You always feel so good.” Jeno groaned, holding back a moan as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled your body closer to him.

You found yourself whimpering as your sensitive clit dragged across his skin. The tip of his cock brushed against your spot inside and your body shook gently as you still adjusted to him inside. 

“Still a little too soon for you?” Jeno let out a breathy chuckle as he brought a hand up to tug the few strands of hair behind your ear.

“Yeah, sorry,” You said through a deep breath.

“It’s okay, we've got all the time in the world right now.”

You took his face in your hands and leaned in to kiss him, lips warm and tender as they melted with yours. He parted your lips with the tip of his tongue and slipped it inside your mouth to slowly caress yours. You felt his cock twitch inside you and softly moaned into his mouth before slowly rolling your hips forward, testing the waters.

“That’s it, baby.” 

Your hips rolled back and forth at a leisurely pace as you savoured the feeling of him inside, his hands roaming across your skin, his lips on yours. You whined when you found the sweet spot again and sat more firmly on his lap as you started to grind down on him faster. Your face was buried in his shoulder, moaning quietly into his skin as your hips moved back and forth. 

Jeno snaked his free hand down and rubbed at your sensitive clit with his thumb. Your breath hitched when he started to rub the sensitive bud, his thumb moving back and forth in time with your movements. He trailed wet kisses down your jaw as you continued to ride him, his thumb glued to your clit as the knot in your stomach grew tighter. 

“Don’t stop,” You moaned. “Fuck, please don't ever stop.”

Your climax hit you all at once, hips stuttering as your back arched and soft whiny moans escaped past your lips. You tried your best to keep your hips moving as you came down from the high. Your hand circled his wrist as you moved his fingers away from your hypersensitive clit and planted it back on the hip.

“You still want more?” Jeno asked as he looked into your hazy eyes. You nodded and clenched your pussy around his cock. 

“Fuck me,” you said, emphasising each word.

Jeno’s body ran warm at hearing you be so demanding after you had just begged him to make you cum. His cock couldn't help but twitch inside you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to him before rolling over so that he could be on top, his hard length still inside you. He watched you intently as you adjusted to the new position, lips slightly parted and swollen from being kissed.

Sometimes Jeno couldn't believe you were all his and that he was so lucky to be able to see you in such a vulnerable state.

You lifted your legs to wrap around his waist, silently begging him to move. He slowly pulled out of you until just the tip of his cock was inside and then pushed back in, keeping his pace steady so that he wouldn't hurt you.

The previous orgasm had made you so tight he wasn't sure he was going to be able to go last long enough for you to cum again. The feeling of you squeezing him made his head spin as he thrusted in and out, making it difficult for him to keep his movements slow and measured.

“Faster,” You commanded as you wrapped your legs tighter around him, angling your hips so he could reach that spot perfectly.

“You feel so good, baby.” Jeno moaned as he sped up his thrusts. “I don't think I can last long.” Any thoughts he had before blew out of his mind once he started to fuck into you. There were no sounds but your moans, no feelings other than your skin on his, nothing to focus on but you. His perfect pretty girl.

Jeno let go of your hips and adjusted his position to press against your body, your chest pushed up against his chest as he thrusted into you deeper, drawing more sweet moans from you that he muffled with his lips.

“Gonna cum again.” You whined, breaking away from him before immediately kissing him again. 

“Me too, baby,” he planted kisses all over your face. “Me too.”

You moaned against his mouth until finally your nerves ignited and your back arched into him. Your pussy clenched around his cock as your body shook in his arms and you cried out in pleasure.

His own climax followed immediately after yours, hips faltering as he painted the inside of you white. He groaned against your skin and tightened his arms around you, cradling you to his chest as he panted in your ear. You ran your fingers up and down his back with your fingernails and twirled the ends of his hair around them.

After a while, when Jeno deemed himself strong enough to roll over onto his side of the pillow, he giggled and pushed himself up to grab some tissues from the bedside table.

“What’s so funny?” You asked playfully as he cleaned up around your sensitive pussy.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He said as his giggles turned into full on laughter.

“You asshole! Are you gonna make fun of my begging again?” You ask, starting to laugh along with him as well. The last time it took only a few minutes for Jeno to start mimicking your moans.

“No! No, of course not. I love that.” He was still fucking giggling as he was wiping around your thighs. 

“Come on, tell me then.” You insisted, crossing your arms. All that did was squeeze your breasts together. You saw him flick his eyes to the them, but nothing could deter him from his funny thoughts. 

“Fine! Fine,” Jeno was still giggling as he settled down next to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled up the covers. “I was just— I was just thinking—” He kept getting cut off by his own giggles.

You joined him in his laugh, despite not knowing what was so funny funny to him.

“I jizzed in you, right?”

“Jizzed,’ You cringed at the word. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Mmmm, no,” Jeno hummed. “No, you are not.”

It was true. You won’t. You loved this man too much to do that.

“Anyway, I did that, and all I could think of after was— was,” his giggles started up again, but he tried his best to continue his statement. “All I could think of was— thank God for birth controls.”

That statement was nowhere near what other people would find funny, but the two of you dissolved into laughter, hands playfully batting at whatever body part you could reach.

“Jen— what the fuck?” You laughed, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s next level post-nut clarity.”

Both of you dissolved into laughter once again.

The sunshine found you laughing, curled up together in bed. Its happy rays reached both of you as you tried to get a little more sleep after that early morning activity.

You knew Jeno would be leaving at some point. You just didn’t think the time would go by so fast. It was so sudden that he came, you were so caught up in the new found happiness that you didn't even think of how long he would be staying.

It was five in the morning and you had been awake for almost 24 hours now. The weather outside was almost similar to your mood — cold, grey and stormy. Jeno had been peacefully asleep beside you for hours, with an arm wrapped around your middle as he snored lightly. Out of nowhere, a bolt of electricity lit up the sky, followed by a wicked crackle. You flinched at how sudden it was. You checked on Jeno who was still sound asleep beside you and you envied him for his ignorance towards the storm. He was lucky enough to be lost in dreamland. 

This was falling in love in the cruellest way indeed. Loving Jeno like this wasn’t easy — you were always aware of all the obstacles. But loving Jeno was just natural, a second nature of yours, an unconscious habit you had done for as long as you could remember. You didn’t worry about it anymore. Jeno would always be there to assure you, even with a distance of over 9000 kilometres. 

"You got everything you need?" You murmured against his chest. 

Jeno nodded in answer. “I think so.”

"You will call me once you get off the plane, okay?" You asked again and in response, Jeno only chuckled lightly. There was a slight pause and the tightening of your arms around him before you exhaled your last question on his skin, "will you miss me?"

You asked it in such a small, vulnerable voice, Jeno couldn’t help but get choked up a little because of it. Almost ten years of knowing you, he had never heard you like this. He didn’t want you to hear the crack in his voice so he kept on nodding his head. 

Missing you only would be an understatement. That missing you would feel like a limb would be cut off from his body once he got on the plane, that missing you would be carving his heart from the inside. Missing you would be every single waking moment until you saw each other again. Jeno wondered how he left the country the first time, just two weeks after breaking up with you. 

Jeno untangled his arms around you and looked down to see your sad eyes. You gently took his face in your hands and tiptoed to reach his lips with your own. You kissed him softly and you felt him kissing you back with the same gentleness. Your arm was hooked around his neck and you broke the kiss for a moment to breathe. 

"Every day. More than you will ever know."

This time it was Jeno who kissed you first, desperate and a little lonelier than before. You could faintly hear the announcement of a flight being called but it only made him kiss you harder, hold you tighter, love you longer. You pulled back and there were tears in the corner of your eyes, spilling out. 

Jeno cupped your face, holding his own tears back. “It’s just a few months, I’ll be back soon!” He chuckled to lighten your mood a little. “And you’re visiting, right?”

You gave him a small smile and he kissed your forehead. “Sorry, I’m just—

Jeno’s sister fake coughed in the corner, pulling both of you back to reality, in the busy, bustling airport. She sighed and let out a chuckle. “I never thought I would see my own brother like this.” 

“Shut up.” Jeno grumbled, now embarrassed, refusing to look back at her. You were embarrassed too — meeting his sister like this in a vulnerable state for the first time in years wasn’t something you were expecting. 

Jeno hugged his sister goodbye after a small sibling banter which you watched in amusement while wiping the tears away from your face.

He walked through the gates and when he looked back at you, you could already see the longing in the way he waved his hand slightly. You see through the glass wall that separated you both, the glimmer in his teary eyes. Jeno mouthed an I love you, one last time and you did too, mouthing the same words back as you watched him disappear into the crowd.

Jeno’s sister suddenly put one of her arms around your shoulder. “So, lunch with me? We need to catch up on a lot!” 

You grinned, wiping at your tears and nodded a yes. 

The guests’ heads were turned to you, their eyes filled with pity. They all waited a couple of minutes before saying anything. Then, that’s when the murmuring began. The pleasant summer sunshine now felt like blades stabbing your skin. All right. Maybe Kun is just late, that’s all. He just got caught up in downtown traffic as he was trying to make it to the venue – a historic park near your beloved childhood home, and the venue is decorated with beautiful, lush flowers. Any moment now, he would run up to the altar, his hair windswept in a way that only he can pull off, and he would smile sheepishly before getting ready to make a vow to be true to you and to you only. 

That never happened.

These few moments of tension between you, your father, and the guests felt like an eternity. 

Kun isn’t going to show up, and not because of traffic, but because he doesn’t want to marry you.

It’s as if the world is melting around you as tears start to fall from your eyes. The greens, reds, oranges, and blues from the guests’ outfits and the wedding decor all swirl together, and you unhook your arm from your father’s as you run out of the wedding venue. Your father wants to pursue you, and you can tell that from the way he calls your name, but you don’t turn back to look back at him. You don’t listen to the audible gasps and the murmurs increasing in volume, all you can think about is running. Grabbing the hem of your lacy dress in an attempt to maneuver yourself through the gardens, you look for places you can hide, places where no one is going to find you, places where you wish you could just melt away from the world. 

How are you ever going to live this down? How are you ever going to see anyone again? They’re going to think of you as Y/N, the poor girl whose fiance decided last minute that he didn’t want to marry her.

You cry. You have a good cry where wailing sobs slip out of your throat, until your throat feels raw, which is exactly how your heart is feeling. With how your head drops to your hands to block out any semblance of light, your makeup smudges in your palms, but you don’t care. Why should you? If Kun didn’t want to marry you, then who would?

Your cries turn more silent, where tears slip onto your cheeks without warning and fall onto your lap. In the sunlight, they look like little diamonds. 

You sit in silence for a while, the rustling of the trees, the chirping of birds, and the quacking of ducks being your only company when you hear approaching footsteps. You quickly try to rub your eyes. You’re used to the occasional runner taking a jog at this part since only the historic gardens near a beautiful seventeenth-century mansion serve as the venue for your wedding, not the rest of the park, filled with trails and nature for others to enjoy. You looked out of place at this duck pond by a walking trail, in your white wedding dress sporting dirt stains during the time you’re sitting on a gray, dusty concrete bench, but you tried to make yourself seem a little bit presentable. You would only look at joggers or people walking their dogs for a couple of seconds before they can notice your red-rimmed eyes. 

But the footsteps don’t belong to a random person just minding their life. They belong to your oldest friend, Johnny Suh. 

Johnny’s hair is parted to the side of his heart-shaped head, clearly washed and gelled for the occasion. His suit is a crisp gray, the sheen like morning dew, and you have good reason to believe that it’s designer. He’s wearing pointed Aldo shoes as he approaches you at the bench, and now you can see the sheen on his forehead, from sweat as the sun beat down on him while he tried to find you. He doesn’t say anything, only offering a smile. For him, it’s of relief that he’s found you in this four-hundred-something acre historic park.

“What are you doing here?” You ask bluntly. 

“I was in the area,” Johnny says innocently. 

You snort. “Did my parents put you up to this?” Right now, you didn’t want to see anyone who was at that wedding. You can already feel the embarrassment creeping up your cheeks the longer Johnny is here – the thought of facing your family and friends after this fiasco made your heart climb to your throat.

“No,” He says simply. “I remembered that this was your favorite place to come after school. You always liked coming here and thinking.” You’re surprised that Johnny remembers this about you when high school was almost a decade ago. 

“Your sister wanted to come with me,” he says. You perk up at the thought of your sister. Oh, your sweet sister Iris. You can already feel yourself comparing yourself to her. Here she was, with her husband of six years and her son, watching you get abandoned at the altar. How lovely. 

“I told her that you needed some space. That too many people shouldn’t try to come and console you.” You’re thankful for the courtesy.

“And that’s why you’re here? To console me?” You ask. The word ‘console’ stung you. It had a connotation of pity. If there was anything you wanted less right now was pity. 

Johnny almost laughs. “Console you? I know you better than that. I came here to make sure you didn’t start talking to trees.” For the first time after the wedding disaster, you smile genuinely. You’re notoriously known with your close family and friends for talking to yourself – but it wasn’t just murmuring to yourself what you needed to get done that day; you would talk to yourself or to inanimate objects as if you were talking to another person. You’ve been doing it since you were a child, talking to your dolls as if they could contribute to the conversation, but you never grew out of it. 

It was times like this that you were grateful to have a friend like Johnny, a friend who could make the worst situations seem like they have a silver lining. 

“It’s just,” you start sniffling. “I thought that Kun loved me. That he wanted to be with me forever,” you say softly. Johnny’s eyes were full of compassion and understanding.

“I’m starting to wonder if I pushed him into this,” you think out loud. “I mean, I proposed to him, I was the one that always prompted him about the wedding planning, I was the one carrying most of the weight when it came to this wedding.” 

“That’s a bad sign. At least when it comes to men.” You look at Johnny stunned. You would have expected him to say something like ‘oh no, it wasn’t your fault’ or ‘Kun is an idiot,’ the usual things that people would say if someone they knew got jilted at the altar. But Johnny was your oldest friend, and instead, he gives you honesty.

“What do you mean?” You ask. 

“Men are flighty creatures. They have to be the ones who prompt you when they are ready to put down the roots.” 

You sigh. “Thanks for taking me back to 1950,” you snort. 

“But am I wrong?” Johnny asks pointedly. “Human nature has fundamentally changed very little in the past seventy years,” Johnny reflects thoughtfully. 

You swallow, hard. “I guess I wanted to be married like Iris. She has such a happy life with Jay that I thought maybe I could have a life like that,” you say, a small hint of desperation in your voice. “After all, Iris did get married at around this age.” You say. 

 “There’s no point in being married,” Johnny says, “if it’s not with the right person.” 

“You’re right, you’re so right,” you say. “I just feel so stupid for being so blind-sighted when it was all in front of my face.” Silent sobs choke the rest of any words you have in your throat, and Johnny takes your hand in his. The heat of his hand is soothing and warm. 

His voice has nothing but kindness in it now. “It’s not your fault.” Here it is. “Sure you didn’t notice the signs, but it doesn’t mean that you ever deserved this. What Kun did was unacceptable, no matter if you silently pressured him into this or not,” Johnny says. Despite his voice being kind, there’s reason in it. 

“To top it all off,” you say, heaving a huge sigh, “I spent so much money. Thousands of dollars just,” you make a whistling sound. Since you did most of the planning, you were also paying a significant portion of the wedding expenses. You earn a good salary, but you didn’t like wasting money.

“Did you pay for the whole wedding?” Johnny asks, surprised.

“No, but I paid for a lot of things. The florists, musicians, invitations, food. Kun paid for the venue and the cake. And obviously, I paid for this dress,” you gesture to the lacy dress that hugged your figure. The dress was four figures. 

“There still might be a way to salvage something from this wedding,” Johnny looks like he is in thought, and you look at him, curious. 

“What do you mean?” 

“What about the honeymoon? Did you pay for that?” Johnny asks, rapidly firing those questions at you. 

“Yeah I did –” You groan. You paid for an all-inclusive resort on Jeju Island along the beach. You always wanted to go to Jeju Island, after going on a business trip with Kun to South Korea, where you took a ferry to the island and spent a day on those white, sandy beaches. 

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asks, concern in his expression. 

“The all-inclusive resort I booked in Jeju Island for mine and Kun’s honeymoon is non-refundable,” you say. You bring the palm of your hand to your forehead dramatically, causing a loud ‘smack’ to resonate in the air.

You were such an idiot. Why on Earth would you book anything that was non-refundable? But then again, you didn’t think you would ever cancel your honeymoon. You thought that the limousine that you booked after the reception would whisk you away to the airport. 

Oh, God. The limousine. You still haven’t canceled it yet.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Johnny says. “Most resorts are non-refundable. What if you go on your honeymoon by yourself?” 

You’re practically struck dumb with this idea. Going on your honeymoon alone? 

“Are you insane?” You ask Johnny. “I’m going to be surrounded by married couples and feel sorry for myself,” you say. 

“Why not?” Johnny asks. “You spent the money. And the resort is all-inclusive. It doesn’t matter if Kun doesn’t show up. The only money you would lose is Kun’s airfare.” 

What Johnny said had a point. Everything is paid for in a lump sum in an all-inclusive resort for all the amenities that you have access to, so it didn’t really matter if Kun didn’t come.

“I don’t know Johnny,” you say, knitting your fingers over your lap. “This sounds like a crazy idea.” 

“Since when have you walked away from crazy ideas?” Johnny asks, more rhetorically. “That’s not the Y/N I know. The Y/N I know takes her own path and never feels sorry for herself. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks, and she doesn’t care if something sounds crazy.” 

You laugh. “Very nice monologue,” you say. You stand up. Johnny looks surprised at your sudden burst of energy. “You know what? I think I’ll do that. After all, I spent the money,” you reason, echoing Johnny slowly. 

“One more thing,” you say. “Do you want to come with me? You were the one who suggested the idea in the first place. Plus,” you smile. “I don’t want Kun’s plane ticket to go to waste.”  

Johnny stands up. His tall figure towers over you as he smiles with excitement. “Of course, I’ll come. I want to spend quality time with my best friend. We haven’t had much of it in a long time.” Johnny notes. With your working lives, it’s hard for you both to carve time into your busy schedules to see each other. 

A honeymoon with your best friend? That was the last thing you ever thought would happen. 

-

Instead of canceling the limousine, you called for it to pick you up at Johnny’s parents’ house, where he was staying for the week for your wedding. You took a ride with Johnny in his black Audi with your luggage that you already packed that was full of skimpy clothes and lingerie. You didn’t have much use for those items anymore, but you had a good few pairs of shorts, swimsuits, T-Shirts, and a couple of appropriate blouses; you didn’t have enough time to unpack those items (and you didn’t want to just leave it at the wedding venue or give it to your family), so you decided that your skimpy clothes and lingerie would just have to make the journey to Jeju Island with you.

Twenty minutes have passed, and you pull up into his parents’ driveway. The limo would pick you both up in two hours, which Johnny said was good enough time for him to pack. 

Johnny is in the bathroom, changing and showering to wash off the gel from his hair. You can hear the water running through the thin walls of his adjoining bedroom. You take this as a chance for you to change out of your wedding dress and into a green blouse and jeans shorts, wash the makeup off your face, and undo the complicated hairstyle the stylist arranged in the main upstairs bathroom down the hall. 

You can feel the thought of your heart pounding at the spontaneity of this vacation. You have never done something like this in your whole life, and you can’t think of a lot of people who have done this either. Life is too short, and you’re not gonna spend even a day feeling sorry for yourself because Kun didn’t have the courage to tell you that he didn’t want to marry you. 

Suddenly you hear the phone ring – your phone. The familiar notes hit your eardrums comfortingly, and you look to see the caller ID: your sister, Iris. Taking a deep breath, you answer the phone. 

“Hello?” You ask. For some reason, your voice feels slightly shaky. 

“Y/N?” Iris asks. You can hear the sound of relief in her voice.

“Yeah?” You ask. 

You can hear a few more people (two more people) murmuring in relief. The only people it can be are your parents. 

“Oh my goodness, where are you? Are you okay? I knew I shouldn’t have listened to Johnny and not pursued you –” 

“Iris,” you say. Calling her name made her stop. “I’m fine, really.” 

“Where are you?” She asks again. “You got us so worried with the way you ran off like that.” 

“I’m fine,” you say again. “I’m at Johnny’s house.” Gasps. 

“What are you doing there?” Iris asks, pressing for more information. 

“Hanging out,” you say casually. It feels like you’re in high school, sneaking off to hang out with friends when it’s well over your curfew. 

“You could have at least told us!” Iris exclaims. “You had us worried sick!” Iris takes a deep breath. “When are you coming home?” 

You pause. The only people who know about your honeymoon plan are you and Johnny. You chew on your lip. “About that. You know my honeymoon?” 

“That you’re going to cancel since you’re not going with Kun?” 

You take a deep breath, your blood rushing through your veins. “So I’m not actually going to cancel it.” You hear three collective gasps. 

“What do you mean?” Iris asks. 

“I paid money for it, and it’s an all-inclusive resort. It doesn’t matter if Kun doesn’t come with me.” 

“But what does that have to do with Johnny?” Iris asks. 

You swallow. “Johnny’s coming with me.” 

At this, your parents clamor in confusion. You can hear Iris take her mouth away from the speaker to address your parents. “Mom, Dad? Can I have a moment alone with Y/N?” 

“I guess, honey,” your mother says, resigned. “We’re just glad that she’s okay.” You can hear the floorboards creak, signaling your parents’ exit. But at times, your parents can be nosy and eavesdrop, so your sister takes extra precautions. You can hear Iris walking to a corner and shutting the door. The only room that isn’t crammed with stuff and can fit a human being comfortably is the main floor powder room.

“You’re serious? Like this isn’t a joke?” Iris asks. 

“No. I’m going on my honeymoon with Johnny.”

“God, this would have been your dream junior year,” your sister giggles. Your face immediately becomes hot, and you look at the bathroom door, hoping that Johnny didn’t suddenly come out of the shower. Thankfully, you still hear the sound of water running through the paper-thin walls; Johnny is still taking his shower. 

“I told you, Iris, it was only a little crush!” You whisper-exclaim.

Iris laughs. “Right.” She doesn’t believe you. “You stared at Johnny with the biggest heart eyes! I had to get you drunk to get it out of you!” 

It wasn’t necessarily the way that Iris explained. After you came home for the summer from your fourth and final year of college, your sister thought it was high time to celebrate that you graduated, so she took you to a pub downtown. You both were laughing, having a couple of drinks, and it was your first night trying vodka, and it was strong – you chose to have it neat instead of on the rocks because you wanted the more potent effect. You don’t really remember that night very clearly, but somehow the topic of Johnny came up, and then you finally confessed to her that you had a tiny crush on him back in high school. After all, who didn’t? He’s literally the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. You expressed how confused you were when Johnny wanted to be friends with you, a quiet girl who sat in the back of the classroom and did her work without bothering anyone.

Eventually, you moved on (obviously) and almost married another man. Johnny had a couple of girlfriends in college and one in high school, but nothing panned out; so far, he’s single to the last of your knowledge.

“I can’t believe he never noticed,” Iris laughs.

“Shut up!” You’re laughing a little bit too.

Suddenly the mood of the room becomes more serious. Iris’ voice is clear, her words echoing in your brain. 

“Y/N, I’m afraid of what this is going to do to you. What if you fall for him again?” 

Silence. Your eyes periodically check the bathroom door before you respond.

“I’m not going to fall for him again,” you say quietly. “I’m over him. I was about to marry another man for God’s sake!” 

“Who left you at the altar,” your sister says. The words sting you a little, but you know that your older sister is only looking out for you. “In fact, I would say that this makes you more vulnerable to fall for him again,” Iris reasons.

“Well, I’m not going to,” you say. “That was a long time ago, and I’m a different person now.” 

You practically jump from where you’re sitting on Johnny’s bed, and he comes out. He’s only wearing a towel on his lower half. His hair is wet, and he’s shirtless, his dark abs toned. A couple of drops of water fall from his neck and travel to his chest, and you almost have to physically move your head to rip your gaze away from his body to look him in the eye. He smiles a little, pointing to the stack of clothes on his bed. His bathroom is very small, and there isn’t enough room to change inside there, and his closet isn’t very big either. 

You laugh, noticing that your phone is at your ear. “Nice talk Iris. I have to go now, but we can talk about your dogs later. Bye!” You make a kissing sound, ending the phone call.

Your voice was a little too high-pitch at the end, and you can’t help but feel that all the saliva in your mouth has dried out, and you’re also parched for words. 

“Your sister?” Johnny asks. 

“Yeah,” you say, a little too quickly. “She was just wondering where I was.” 

“Oh,” Johnny nods, understanding. “Did you tell her?” 

You nod. “Yeah. She thinks it’s a bad idea.” You almost want to smack your palm over your mouth, but Johnny looks at you, amused. 

“J-Just that b-being around married couples with my best friend would be w-weird,” you try to heroically save.

“Makes sense,” Johnny shrugs his shoulders. “But who cares? Since when did you have to cancel your honeymoon just because your fiance doesn’t show up?” You laugh. 

It seems that your gaze is locked into Johnny’s and you can’t look away no matter how much you’re trying and butterflies are flying ferociously in your stomach at the thought that Johnny is wearing nothing under that loosely tied towel and –

“I-I’m gonna go to the other room. You’ve got to change,” you say, gesturing to the towel that is covering his lower half. Johnny is suddenly jolted at the thought that he is wearing almost nothing in front of his best friend, not even swimming trunks.

You scramble to the door, which is only a few steps away, and fumble with the round doorknob. You let yourself out and shut the door. You press your back against the wall, smelling the dinner that Johnny’s parents’ are cooking in the kitchen. 

You really hope you weren’t going to prove your sister right.

-

Johnny opens the door after he finished changing, and he’s wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt with a gray sleeveless underneath outlining his chiseled chest. You gulp when you find yourself staring and look back up at Johnny. 

“Johnny! Dinner’s ready!” It’s almost four in the afternoon. Johnny’s parents are running the retirement home drill, in which lunches are served this early. It seemed that the older you got, the earlier you wanted dinner served – you were noticing that whenever you stayed with your parents, who served dinner at a comparable time. 

“In a minute!” Johnny yells down the stairs. His mother looks up from the last step to see you. “Y/N! How are you feeling? I’m so sorry about the wedding –” 

Yes, of course. It would be too much to ask from the universe to try not to run into anyone else that saw you get stood up at the altar. Johnny’s parents were at the front, near your parents, and it’s like they got first-class seats to see the empty altar.

“It’s okay,” you say, a bit more tersely than you would have liked. 

“Why don’t you have some food? There’s nothing that a home-cooked meal can’t help,” Mrs. Suh says, a kind, weathered smile on her face. 

You nod, pleasantly grinning. “I’d like that very much.” 

You walk down the stairs. Johnny’s house is much like you remember seeing it back in high school, minus a few minor changes. The Suhs have repainted the walls and added a few more antique knickknacks that Mrs. Suh loves collecting at local auctions. 

The dark wood table, though, looks the same. You sit at the table, with Mr. Suh already digging into his food. Johnny’s parents are from South Korea, having settled in America before Johnny was born. Mrs. Suh, though, never lost her taste for traditional Korean food, and always took the time to make home-cooked Korean food at least once a week. 

Today’s meal is rice with potato and beef soup, thick noodles with soy sauce flavoring, and a side of kimchi. You smile graciously at Johnny’s mother, who arranges the small cups and bowls before pouring servings for herself. 

“I never understand men who leave their fiances at the altar,” Mrs. Suh starts off. “Just tell them the truth!” You nod, feeling that exact same sentiment. 

“I have a cousin whose fiance left her at the altar,” Mr. Suh pipes in. “She was absolutely heartbroken, but she is now living better and said that made her a stronger person.” 

“I hope you know Y/N,” Mrs. Suh says, “that you’re like family to us, and that your pain is our pain,” her eyes are round, serious. She extends her hand out, and you take it. 

“I don’t think Y/N wants to talk about her wedding anymore,” another voice interjects. Johnny enters the dining room and takes a seat in the empty chair next to you.

“You’re right Johnny. So silly of me,” Mrs. Suh says, shaking her head. “Where is my head?” She clicks her tongue. 

The next few minutes are spent in silence, where all four of you are chewing on your food or slurping on noodles. 

“I didn’t think you and that Kun were right for each other anyway.” The clatter of chopsticks immediately breaks the lull of the eating sounds. You all look for the root of the words, Johnny’s mother. 

“W-What do you mean?” you stutter. 

“I always thought you and Johnny should get together.” At these words, Johnny’s eyes are bulging from his head. 

“Mom!” Johnny exclaims. Johnny’s father prefers to not get involved with the conversation, still eating his food and pretending there’s silence.

“What?” Johnny’s mother asks. “I thought I should be able to say my piece. You and Y/N have been friends for so long, I’ve been wondering when it’s going to happen.” 

You practically start coughing up the noodle broth. 

“And by the way, I see that there are suitcases by the door,” Mrs. Suh mentions. From her seat, she can see two suitcases, one of them Johnny’s and the other one yours (he probably must have taken them downstairs before meeting the family for dinner). The bags are almost skillfully hidden by the staircase but not skillful enough to avoid Mrs. Suh’s thorough gaze.

“Are you guys going anywhere?” Both you and Johnny swallow together.

“J-Just on a vacation,” you say nervously. 

“What kind of vacation would you have planned so close to your–” Mrs. Suh has a delighted look on her face. “Inhyuck, it’s happening!” If there’s anything that Mrs. Suh isn’t, it’s a slow woman.

“What’s happening?” Johnny’s father asks, now forced to be a part of the conversation.

“The honeymoon. Johnny’s going with Y/N!” Mr. Suh looks surprised. 

“Well, it’s not really a honeymoon anymore–” you manage to say, but Mrs. Suh is not interested in letting you talk. 

“This is so exciting!” Mrs. Suh continues. “What have you two planned?” 

“Well, it’s an all-inclusive resort, so I guess just relax?” You shrug your shoulders. You look at Johnny who nods. 

“That’s wonderful!” Mrs. Suh looks ecstatic. “Hopefully, it will give you the chance to see what’s destined for you both.” 

Johnny rolls his eyes. “Mom! Y/N and I are best friends. Nothing’s going to happen between us. Y/N just doesn’t want to waste all the money she spent,” Johnny explains. 

“Yeah,” you agree. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

As if on cue, the phone rings. It’s the limo service, and you pick up the phone. As you predicted, it feels like it has been two hours, so it was about time for the limousine to come and pick you up. 

“It’s the limo,” you tell Johnny. “The driver’s here.” 

“Great,” Johnny smiles. Both you and Johnny stand up, and Mr. and Mrs. Suh wish you both a good vacation. You thank them for the meal, and Johnny tells them that he’s going to call them when they land. 

As you exit the quaint home that you grew up coming to multiple times a week, you can’t help but feel a sadness tug at your heart, at the reassurances that Johnny gave his mother that there was nothing between you two. 

You’re absolutely sure that you’re over Johnny, and you’ve been over Johnny for years. But why are you disappointed? 

-

The limo ride to the airport is a maximum of thirty minutes, and you planned the ride to be at around the same time that the wedding would have finished and you would be whisked away for your honeymoon, thus your flight time giving you ample time to get through TSA without worries. 

So far, your honeymoon is going the exact way that you planned, minus the fact that you were going with your best friend instead of your fiance.

After your suitcases are taken to the baggage claim, you and Johnny are both left with small carry-ons. Yours is a tote slung on your right shoulder while Johnny’s is a backpack.

After an hour, you both board the plane, taking seats next to each other. The twelve-hour plane ride went faster than you thought it would. You and Johnny spend the time sharing earbuds, listening to music, and eventually watching movies together. A little thrill rushes through your veins as you watch comedies together while other people were trying to get some sleep; it starts to become a challenge for you both to keep your laughs quiet without earning the stares of disgruntled, tired passengers. 

Eventually, you both start getting tired, and you fall asleep, covering yourselves with the thin, airline blankets that didn’t do much to stop the cold air from piercing your skin and freezing your bones.

You become startled when you hear a voice over the speakers. “Good evening passengers. In fifteen minutes, we’ll be landing at Jeju International Airport. Please turn off all cellular, and electronic devices in preparation for landing. Welcome to Jeju Island!”

You look around yourself with bleary eyes. The whole time you found it difficult to sleep because you didn’t have a pillow. But somehow, you fell asleep and looking next to you, you know the reason why. 

Your cheek has been resting on Johnny’s shoulder, and suddenly you feel your face catch fire. Slowly, you notice Johnny’s eyes open, and he looks at you, tired. He had gotten used to the warm feeling of your cheek on his shoulder and missed it a little.

Your faces are unnaturally close. Desperately, you want to say something that doesn’t pertain to this. 

“We’re almost here,” you say, rubbing your eyes, moving away as fast as you can with your slow, sluggish body. 

The plane lands, and you and Johnny take your carry-ons and exit the plane, into Jeju International Airport.

The lights are bright, and the white walls reflect that light, and it hurts your eyes, compared to the dark airplane you were in for twelve hours. 

After picking up your bags at the baggage claim, you and Johnny make your way to the shuttle, which drives you both a few miles before stopping at the resort: Byeolbich Resorts, right along the Jeju Island coastline. 

The resort is painted in welcoming pinks and oranges, and you see happy couples holding hands and smiling at one another – you, on the other hand, were keeping a safe two-inch distance from accidentally touching Johnny’s skin. 

The woman at the front desk, a woman around your age with long dark hair, is on the phone, but she ends the call with “Thank you for calling Byeolbich Resorts!” after you and Johnny wait for a few moments. 

“How can I help you?” The woman asks politely, a pleasant, hospitable smile on her face. 

You clear your throat. “I made a reservation.” 

“Name, please?” She asks. 

You give your first and last name. 

“I don’t see you on our list,” the woman says, typing on her computer and scrolling. 

Your breath catches in your throat. “I probably put it under another name. Try Qian Y/N,” you say. At the way Johnny stares at the side of your face, you feel your cheeks burn at how embarrassing it was to book a resort under your ex-fiance’s name, as if you’re a thirteen-year-old combining your’s and your crush’s name in a fancy gel pen on your math notebook instead of paying attention in class. The woman smiles at you, clueless to your thoughts.

“Yes Qian Y/N on your honeymoon with your new husband Kun,” She reads from her notes. Her gaze then returns to you and Johnny.  

For the sake of keeping this interaction simple, you decide not to correct her, and Johnny thinks the same thing; after all, you were only going to see this woman when you check into the hotel and when you check out two weeks from now.

“Alright. Room 918.” She types something into her computer, and opens a drawer, pulling out two plastic cards; they were to be yours and Johnny’s keycards during your stay. She hands you both keys. 

“Would you guys like help with your luggage?” A young voice asks. You look to see a younger, college-age guy with a pleasant look on his face eye yours and Johnny’s luggage. It wasn’t really a lot, but since this boy was offering, you smile, handing him your luggage. Johnny does the same.

You and Johnny are careful not to stand too close together as you enter the elevator with the bellhop, and the elevator dings when you reach the ninth floor. All three of you walk across the hall to room 918. You insert your keycard and open the door.

You’re not so sure why the arrangement of the room is a shock to you. 

This is a large suite room like you reserved when you booked the reservation online, but there’s a king-sized bed and a small lounge chair on the other side of the room, which again, was exactly what you booked on the website. When making this last-minute plan to attend your honeymoon and then bring your best friend along, the sleeping situation completely slipped your mind, if you were honest.

“Is there something wrong?” The bellhop asks. You look at him, then at Johnny, then at the bellhop again. 

“N-No,” you stutter to the boy. He smiles in relief. 

“Good. Then I’ll leave you two newlyweds alone.” He says, with a sly smile. At the implication, your breath catches in your throat.

When the bellhop leaves, you shut the door behind you.

“So the bed,” Johnny notes nervously. 

“Yeah,” you say after a while. “I’m sorry, I should have rem–” 

“It’s fine,” Johnny insists. “I’ll take the lounge chair.” 

“No, that would be so rude of me. After I invited you on this trip,” you say. On the website, you booked the ‘honeymoon suite,’ so there’s not even a lousy futon. 

“Are we then just gonna… share the bed?” Johnny asks slowly. The way he sounds, it’s unsure, as if he’s dipping his toe in a cold swimming pool. 

“Yeah,” you say, taking in a deep breath. It takes a long time for you to pry your gaze away from Johnny’s. It took you a few moments to respond to Johnny so that you would sound just as unsure about the idea as Johnny – you didn’t want it to seem that you were ready to jump into bed with one of your oldest friends, but at the same time, you didn’t want to sound repulsed either.

Ah, the intricacies of human relationships.

“I’m going to get showered and change,” you say, changing the subject.

“I will too. I-I’ll change in that closet.” Johnny points. You nod. 

The bathroom is nothing less than exquisite. There’s a beautiful double vanity made of speckled marble, and there’s a large jacuzzi tub. The shower is wrapped in pristine white tile with a light and jade blue backsplash that makes the white pop out more, and the soaps that were laid out in the engraved soap dish were water lily scented. You loved the feeling of the gentle warm water caressing your skin and the soap felt smooth against your skin, and it got rid of the sweat (and embarrassment) that stuck to your skin. 

Before getting into the shower, you were able to find shorts and a loose T-Shirt that was decent enough to be in while your best friend shared your honeymoon suite with you. 

Once you come out, Johnny is changed and is sitting on the bed, plugging his charger into the socket next to the bed. He’s sitting perilously on the edge of the bed, a bit uncomfortably, and an idea strikes you. Johnny’s gaze is on you, and you open the covers (which is difficult due to how beds are made in hotels and resorts). You line various pillows in the middle of the bed. 

“This is my side, and that’s your side,” you say, a bit harsher than you would have liked. 

“Yeah,” Johnny nods vigorously. 

As you lie down on the bed, pulling the covers over you, Johnny does the same. For a while, you linger at the edge of the bed, too wary to go too far inside and mess up the barrier. Despite this uncomfortable position, you try to get some sleep, and eventually, sleep gets to you.

-

No matter how many precautions you took not to destroy the barrier, by morning, the barrier has tumbled over the bed. When you wake up, you’re met with reddish light that tries to bleed through the dark curtains, and… there are arms wrapped around you.

Not just any arms, but Johnny’s arms. 

The pillows that made up your barrier are now spread across the floor, completely disregarded and forgotten as Johnny’s arms envelop your resting figure, spooning you. You’re lying on your side, your cheeks against your soft white pillow, and you’re sure what’s happening now is just a dream, a weird dream that you have no idea where it came from.

As carefully as you can, you try to shift your position in bed without disturbing Johnny.

You fail.

Johnny grunts, and wraps his arms around you tighter, moving closer to you. His nose is only a few millimeters away from touching your forehead, and his lips are close. 

So damn close. 

They twitch a little as Johnny has a pleasant dream, and from this distance, you can study your best friend’s face. You always knew that Johnny was handsome, but this proximity is driving your heart crazy.

His face is a beautiful tan, and any blemishes on his face look ethereal. There are small mustache hairs right above his lip, dark and faint. His sleeping expression is so peaceful that it’s hard to look at anything else but Johnny’s beautiful face, to not admire how wonderfully his features complement each other –

Suddenly, his eyes fly open. You’re about to jump away from him, but Johnny beats you to it. He tries to untangle his arms from around you, and his expression is filled with newfound embarrassment. Now, you both remain on opposite sides of the bed once more, the same position you were early last night, backs straight like sticks. 

“I’m going to wash up,” you say. You absolutely hated the feeling of eating or drinking anything with an unclean mouth, so you stand up. 

“I’ll do that too,” Johnny says. You both walk in the same direction, to the left where the bathroom door lies, and you and Johnny almost try to head in at the same time. Awkwardly when your arm hits the door frame, Johnny backs up. 

“You go first,” he says, gesturing. 

You go in, to the vanity farthest from the bathroom door. 

You already kept your toiletry bag in the bathroom as you did some light unpacking last night, and you fish around inside after opening the zipper, revealing the toothbrush sealed in a toothbrush bag.

Johnny comes back into the bathroom with his toothbrush and toothpaste, and while brushing your teeth, you both exchange wary glances, trying to avoid any sort of confrontation about the situation from last night. 

“I’ll be at the pool if you need me,” you say to Johnny before opening your suitcase and finding your red one-piece swimsuit and a shirt to wear over it. Johnny gives you a thumbs up before turning on his shaving razor. 

When you leave the room, key and purse in hand, you get into the elevator and press ‘main floor.’ Once you’re dropped back off to the main floor, you follow the signs to the pool. 

It’s a beautiful sunny day outside, and the pool looks just as beautiful, a twinkling turquoise gem. A few couples are in the pool, making out or splashing each other, giggles bubbling on their lips, and there are other couples sitting on the lawn chairs, holding hands, sipping margaritas, and chatting. One thing is for certain – love is in the air. 

You heave a huge sigh and find a spot at an empty orange lawn chair. It’s next to a table with an umbrella in the middle. The umbrella is unopened, so you crank the handle, and the umbrella slowly starts expanding. 

“Would you like anything, ma’am?” A woman asks. She looks like she works here since she holds an empty silver tray dripping from condensation from the drinks she just served to the couple chatting and holding hands. 

“What drinks do you have?” You ask. 

“We have a gin-infused strawberry margarita as today’s special,” she informs you. 

“I’ll have it,” you smile. 

She nods and scurries away to the bar. You stretch your legs to cover the vast extent of the lawn chair and close your eyes. 

This wasn’t so bad, you think. Maybe if you could go the whole honeymoon without anyone asking about your fiance, then this wouldn’t be a terrible getaway.

Of course, with the way that Byeolbich Resort was marketed as the perfect getaway for newlywed couples, it would be impossible to avoid that question.

You’re suddenly approached by two people, a man and a woman, most likely a newlywed couple, and the woman waves at you. 

“Are these chairs taken?” She asks politely. 

“No,” you smile. The man and woman take their seat by the pool, and quietness ensues for a few moments. 

“I’m Seulgi. And this is Taemin,” she introduces the both of them. The man, Taemin, waves at you pleasantly. 

“I’m Y/N,” you respond. 

“And where’s the lucky man? Or woman?” She asks, raising a brow. You smile a little at her peppy attitude so early in the morning. 

“Oh, he’s in the room,” you say a little nervously. “He’s just shaving.”

“And you didn’t wait for him so you could have quality time together?” She pesters. For a second you think she’s serious, but she only playfully slaps you on the arm. You’re surprised at her intimacy, at how she treats you like an old friend given that you only met a few minutes ago.

“I’m kidding. Sometimes I need a moment away from this one.” Her gaze for a second rests on Taemin, as her hand shields her lips to pretend she’s telling a secret. You laugh, not particularly because she’s funny but because you’re relieved that she isn’t asking any more questions.

“Y/N!” You hear from afar. From the indoor entrance to the pool from the resort, you see Johnny, waving at you. He’s once again shirtless and he’s wearing blue swim trunks. 

His body looks so wonderfully sunkissed that you think your mouth is about to drop open. 

“So you’re the hubby?” Seulgi says, smiling. Johnny looks at you quizically for barely a second before smiling at Seulgi; she didn’t notice, thankfully. 

“Yep,” Johnny plays along. “Y/N is my wife. We’ve been happily married for a day,” he continues. When he pulls a chair to sit beside you, he grabs your hand and holds it, his knuckles resting against his thigh. 

You’re almost caught off-guard with how comforting his hand feels.

Seulgi looks overjoyed. “Congratulations!” She exclaims. “We’ve only been married for a week,” Seulgi gestures to herself and Taemin. 

“By the way, I’m Taemin,” Taemin introduces himself to Johnny. 

“Johnny,” he says, reaching out to shake Taemin’s hand. Taemin looks a little baffled at the gesture before ultimately taking Johnny’s hand.

“That’s wonderful,” you say, plastering a smile on your face. It’s not entirely fake – you’re happy that Taemin and Seulgi were able to find love together – but the crushing feeling it gives your heart is unreal. 

Here were two people who got married and were honeymooning together. They looked so genuinely happy. They didn’t seem to be walking on pins and needles like you were.

“Your drink?” The woman from earlier takes your flute and places it on the table. 

“Thank you.” You bow a little, as per Korean tradition. 

“Would you guys like anything?” She directs to the rest of the group.

“Some Soju,” Taemin says. “None for my wife though, she’s had more than her fair share for today,” he jokes. 

“Hey!” Seulgi whines but makes no move to order a drink for herself. 

“Could I have some Bokbunja-ju?” Johnny asks. Korean raspberry wine. You’ve heard of it faintly when Kun would order alcohol at restaurants in Korea. 

The woman writes down these orders and goes back to the bar. 

“So,” Seulgi starts off. You’re drinking your margarita when she continues again. “Out of all the places you could take your honeymoon in, why Jeju Island?” She asks. 

“Well,” you say. “Johnny had a lot of business opportunities in Korea, and one weekend, we went to Jeju Island to soak up the sun at the beaches,” you explain. “Ever since, I’ve loved Jeju Island.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Replace Johnny with Kun, and it’s the same story.

“How wonderful!” Seulgi gleefully claps her hands. “Taemin and I have been coming to Jeju since we were kids,” she looks fondly at her husband. “We were best friends before we became married. Can you believe it?” She asks, not really expecting an answer. “We’re from mainland Korea, from Seoul,” she says. 

“I remember it like it was yesterday,” Taemin suddenly says. Seulgi feverishly blushes. “We were in the same dance class. I saw her from across the room, and I instantly knew that I had to be around her.” 

“Aww,” you say, trying to gush more emotion into your voice. Yours and Kun’s meeting wasn’t actually that interesting – a couple of friends in college introduced you to him. 

You don’t talk to those friends much anymore.

But right now wasn’t the best time for you to be hearing cute love stories while you were still so bitter. 

“Speaking of dance classes,” Seulgi says. “There’s a couple’s dance at the west wing tonight. You guys should come.” Her voice sounds very enthused. 

“Well, actually, me and Johnny were going to –”

“We’ll come,” Johnny interrupts. 

“We will?” You raise a brow at your fake husband. 

“Yeah. We will,” Johnny reassures, looking at you before pleasantly smiling at the couple. You gape at him only for a few seconds, before it can become noticeable. 

“Great! I guess that’s settled.” Seulgi says. 

“Drinks?” You hear a familiar voice, and it’s once again the woman who served you your drink. She hands a drink to Johnny and Taemin, and they thank her graciously. 

As you chat with Seulgi and Taemin for a few more minutes, you only pray that they won’t ask anything too personal, or catch on to your secret in some big, dramatic way. 

After all, isn’t how all these ‘fake dating’ scenarios end? 

-

Thankfully, you have enough summer dresses in your arsenal that would be formal enough to wear to a dance. Your dress is a cream dress with red leaves, sleeveless, and it comes to almost your knee. Johnny is wearing a nicer shirt and some slacks. 

He looks stunning. 

You both approach the west wing, and you know it’s the correct location when you can hear loud music bleeding through the walls. Johnny courteously opens the door, and you walk in, to see many couples in nice clothes dancing to the live music. They’re playing lively jazz music, and the saxophone and trumpet music hit your soul. 

“Y/N! Johnny!” A voice shouts in the midst of all the noise. It’s Seulgi, and holding her waist is Taemin, who is beaming at his wife.

“Seulgi!” You exclaim. Taemin detaches himself from his wife and they both approach you in the crowded room. 

“I love your dress!” You exclaim. Her dress is a light, seafoam green, and it compliments the heels she’s wearing.

“Thank you! I love yours!”

You smile at the compliments. You take a few moments to observe the decor, a dark room lit by fairy lights, and a large panoramic window that shows the sun dipping into the ocean that is a few miles away from the resort. 

“Why are you guys standing around?” Seulgi questions. “Dance!” You didn’t even realize that Seulgi and Taemin started dancing to the music while you and Johnny stand awkwardly together. 

“What do you say, partner?” Johnny asks. “Can you pleasure me with a dance?” He rephrases, a cheesy smile on his face. You laugh at how he dramatically bows to take your hand, and his hands suddenly land on your waist. You gasp, thanking the loud music for masking the sound, and you feel your body stiffen.

“This feels like prom for adults,” you say as you match Johnny’s lively steps.

“Remember our prom?” Johnny says nostalgically. 

“Yeah,” you smile. You and Johnny went to your senior prom together after your best friend offered to take you when you couldn’t find a date and all your other girlfriends had dates. You didn’t want to go so you won’t bother them, but Johnny enthusiastically volunteered because he thought that prom was too important to miss. Even though it’s just overdressed high schoolers in a school gym dancing to ‘The Cupid Shuffle’ and the like, every high schooler should have the experience. After all, it’s the one day that the school gym doesn’t smell like a sweaty sock. 

Johnny picked you up, wearing a matching navy-blue bow tie that his mother picked out to your hand-me-down navy blue gown that your sister wore to prom, and you ate at a Mexican restaurant and showed up to prom just as more and more people were arriving. Your heels were digging into your feet, but you didn’t care, just dancing to party music and singing along without a care in the world.

It was the night you were sure that you were in love with Johnny, and you were sure your best friend was never going to like you the same way you liked him. But despite that soul-crushing feeling, you still had fun.

Suddenly a slow song started to come on. You stop twirling and stare awkwardly at Johnny. The DJ speaks into the microphone. 

“This is for all you guys in love!” 

“I guess we start slow dancing,” you say. Johnny holds you close, and you feel any words you’re going to say die in your throat. You press your cheek against Johnny’s shoulder, careful not to smear any of your foundation on his nice white shirt. Johnny holds you in a way that’s not too loose and not too tight, the two of you moving your bodies in synchronicity to the Korean ballad.

As more and more people stare into their partners’ eyes lovingly or start kissing, your steps start to become mismatched with the beat as you slowly become more uncomfortable. You feel your cheeks heat up as you observe those couples and meet eyes with Johnny again. 

Neither of you says anything. 

“That’s right folks!” The DJ says. “Now it’s time to get it on!” His voice is expressive as he scans the crowd for couples. 

Out of nowhere, the lights from the mechanical moving spotlights land on you and Johnny, the only couple that doesn’t look all lovey-dovey. You harshly gulp at the newfound eyes that were on you. 

“Come on, don’t be shy,” the DJ says in good humor. “PDA is allowed here. After all, most of you folks are on your honeymoon.” 

“Kiss, kiss, kiss,” Seulgi starts chanting. Taemin follows her with a wide smile on his face, and slowly, other couples start joining their chants. 

Finally, both you and Johnny have had enough of all the guests’ goading, so quickly, you press and peck onto Johnny’s lips. He looks frazzled at the gesture, but he tries to keep his cool. You pull away, smiling at the audience that is circled around you both.

“You guys can do better than that!” The DJ sighs. 

Johnny leans in, grabbing your waist and pressing you impossibly closer, and smashes his lips against yours. He nibbles your lips gently, and you’re pretty sure that your heart is about to beat out of your chest and move when it hits the dancefloor, but your heart is very much in your chest as you feel the sensation of your cheeks catching on fire as you kiss back, enjoying Johnny’s lips.

Johnny pulls away slowly, as if he’s scared to pull far enough from you that you can gaze into his eyes. But finally, he faces the crowd, smiling, and they cheer. You follow in suit.

When Johnny dropped you home from prom, he gave you a warm hug on your front porch. Not a single kiss was exchanged and the closest you got to ‘couple’ things was taking photos. When the slow dance came, you and Johnny were sitting at a table, resting your legs. 

Now, you’re far from prom. 

-

It started when you were a sophomore. Johnny was in your English class, and together, you were supposed to make a utopia based on the principles in Republic by Plato. You needed to get into groups of four. None of your usual friends were in that class, so after asking a random girl if she wanted to be in your group, and another guy approached you to join your group, suddenly Johnny, a guy you saw around your school but didn’t really talk to, asked to partner with you. Dumbstruck, you agreed. 

The problem with partnering with random people is that you’re not sure if they’ll do their fair share of the work. For the guy and girl who joined you, it seemed like they were allergic to meeting up or contributing anything to the shared PowerPoint that you created, and Johnny was the only one actually helping out. He was always ready to meet in the library or stay after school, and together, you carried your group to an ‘A’ and wrote scathing reviews of the other members of your group.

You thought it would be a little crush that would dissipate after Johnny went back to his old friends after the project, but he just stuck around. What was just a crush by junior year was you slowly falling in love with your best friend, with the way he was always able to make everything better. He knew what you were thinking before you even said it. He knew how to cheer you up if you did poorly on a test. 

Out of all the girls in school, there was no way he could ever fall in love with you. You were certain. At prom, he didn’t ask you to slow dance, and you both rested your feet while sitting at one of the tables in the corner of the room, watching other people slow dance while you squeezed your sore feet. You had it all planned out in your mind that if he would slow dance with you, it showed that he liked you in that sense, and you would finally confess.

Although you didn’t let it show in the final weeks of high school, you were heartbroken. But the physical distance you had going to separate colleges helped you get over him. Eventually, you fell in love with Kun, the Chinese exchange student that your friends introduced you to, and were obviously engaged to him.

Until today, you thought you were completely over Johnny Suh.

Johnny was like a flame – if you got too close, you were going to get burned. It happened once before. But you were careless enough to let it happen again with this honeymoon trip. 

You should have listened to Iris because now you were falling for your best friend for the second time, and you’re not sure your heart can handle it again.

-

For the next few days, neither you nor Johnny mentioned the kiss and pretended that it didn’t happen. You both would wake up next to each other and use the other facilities of the resort. One day, you both went surfing, then on another you went to the beach and built sandcastles, drinking strong Korean alcohol. While things were a little awkward – like how you both wouldn’t stand less than two inches from each other, you still were having a good time despite how you were unexpectedly falling in love with your best friend again.

Seulgi and Taemin raved about the massages at the resort next time you ran into them at the pool where you and Johnny would relax and start working on your tans before you would do anything substantial in the day. 

“In order for the masseuse to be the most effective, you need to take off your clothes,” Seulgi informs you both. “Obviously, there’s going to be a towel over your bum, but at least you need to be topless so they can rub the essential oils on your skin, and you need to take off your pants if you want the leg massage. But that shouldn’t be a problem for you both,” Seulgi smiles suggestively, “you should be seeing a lot of each other in bed.” 

You and Johnny laugh uncomfortably. “Yup. We’re having a good time in bed,” you say nervously, hoping that you don’t sound as nervous as you are.

To avoid any awkwardness, you and Johnny book separate appointments at the same time but with different masseuses. Your masseuse is a woman named Jiyeon, a kind woman in her thirties who you heard from Taemin has expert hand that can melt the stress away from your body.

You’re clutching the edges of your robe when Jiyeon smiles at you. “I’m going to look away and get some oils from this cabinet,” she points to a glossy white cabinet with a metal handle. “Feel free to take off your robe and lie face down on that massage table. There’s a towel over there for covering.” 

You do as she bids and strip down naked, lie face-down on the massage bed, and put a medium-sized white towel on your butt. You position your face on the massage bed, which cradles your cheeks comfortably. 

All of a sudden, you hear a knock.

“Excuse me, I’ll only be a moment,” Jiyeon says. Quietly, she opens the door, closing it so that there’s a thin line of air between the door and the door frame. The person who knocked starts talking, and you quietly listen to what they say.

“Jiyeon,” says a woman. “Do you mind looking after my client? My five-year-old just had an incident at school, and the teacher wants to talk to me,” she says, not elaborating further what the ‘incident’ is. 

“Sure. Come on in,” she tells the client. “I’m going to get more materials from this cabinet, and feel free to strip down and grab a towel.” 

“Sure– Y/N?” You know that voice from anywhere: Johnny. Your head now rests on your cheek as you look at your best friend, who only has a towel on his waist.

“Johnny?”

“You two know each other?” Jiyeon asks. 

“Well, we’re sort of… married,” you say, the words sounding unfamiliar on your tongue. 

“That’s your husband? Normally couples try to utilize the couples’ massage,” Jiyeon thinks out loud. 

“We…” Johnny is out of words. 

“Don’t worry,” Jiyeon says. “Many couples are shy around their spouses being naked, especially if they were saving themselves for marriage.”

“Y-Yes,” you chime in uncertainly. “I was saving myself for marriage, and now that I’m married, it’s all so new to me.” You chuckle nervously.

“That’s absolutely okay,” Jiyeon says expertly. She’s probably massaged hundreds of couples who are having a hard time adjusting to married life. But you’re pretty sure she’s never run into a couple faking to be married because that was easier to explain than the real story. “Now that you’re together, I hope you both can start overcoming that shyness.” 

“Yeah,” Johnny says quietly. 

Jiyeon goes back to getting more oils. It’s too late now to cancel your appointment. Johnny faces the the door, and you gulp at the toned, muscular, hell even beautiful side profile of your best friend. The second that Johnny takes off his towel, you shift your head to face the tiled floors. For a millisecond, you got a good view of a completely naked Johnny. You feel your cheeks burst with heat, and you’re glad that no one can see your cheeks right now.

You’ve seen Johnny half naked before, in his swim trunks and even with just a towel, and you have admired his beauty from afar before. But now it’s different. The thought of liking Johnny and him being naked in the same room is too much for you.

The second massage bed squeaks as Johnny gets on, and you feel a tapping on your arm. You turn to Johnny, whose cheek is smushed against the table and he has a wide grin on his face. 

“So much for private,” you whisper, quiet enough for Jiyeon to not hear.

“It’s like the universe wants us to see each other naked,” Johnny scoffs. 

“Today, we’ll be using a lavender green tea mixture,” Jiyeon says, unaware of your’s and Johnny’s private chitchat.

She starts off coating the oil on your back, little by little. She gently dabs the substance and places her hands on your back, and you gasp a little at the feeling of another woman touching you like this. Johnny snickers and you make a mental note to smack him later. 

You feel the mixture working wonders on your skin, and it’s as if your worries are melted away by Jiyeon’s skilled hands. You moan slightly at the sensation of being pampered, and you feel your lips curl up into a smile. 

“Enjoying yourself over there?” Johnny asks. You turn your head to face him. 

“You will too,” you smile. 

You’re a little disappointed when Jiyeon’s hands leave your body and she takes a few steps to massage Johnny’s sunkissed flesh. He hums contently as Jiyeon massages him, lathering his body with the essential oil mix, and you watch, slightly jealous. 

You want to touch his skin like that.

“You signed up for the leg massage?” Jiyeon asks. 

“Yes,” you say. That was back when you thought Johnny wasn’t going to be in the room.

After you close your eyes, Jiyeon rubs the oil on your legs, and you feel bliss overcoming you. Her fingers are soothing yet powerful, two words that usually have a hard time coexisting together in the same sentence, but in this case, ‘soothing yet powerful’ is the perfect fit for what you’re feeling.

She asks Johnny if he was supposed to have a leg massage, and he says yes, so Jiyeon gets to work on him, and Johnny is just as content with the massage as you are. 

When Jiyeon steps away and stands in front of you both, Johnny sounds disappointed. “Is it already over?” 

“Yes. You can book another appointment with me if you want,” she says. “I’ll leave you two to get dressed,” she says suggestively before leaving the room. 

At the same time, you and Johnny look at each other.

“I-I’ll change first,” you offer awkwardly. 

“Okay,” Johnny says, his gaze straight at you. 

“Do you m-mind looking away?” You ask nervously. 

“Oh,” Johnny didn’t even realize that he was staring at you for a long time, at how beautifully the towel around your waist and butt shows your womanly curves. “Yeah, of course.” He turns his head away, and you get up, grabbing your pink blouse and shorts from where you discarded it before the massage started. You fumble with trying to put them on, your hands shaking, mentally chastising yourself for changing so slowly.

“I’m finished,” you say to Johnny, your back facing him. “You can change now, I’m not looking.” 

“Okay,” Johnny responds. You hear the massage table creak as Johnny rises, and he has his back facing towards you. You don’t know what possesses you – a bit of curiosity or horniness – but you turn around slowly yet silently, to get a view of Johnny’s toned, muscular back, tanned due to all the time you both have been in the sun recently. You watch how he turns to grab a robe that you didn’t even realize was lying around, and your eyes travel ravenously to his toned chest, down, down, down…

Your cheeks are heating for the millionth time today when you turn your head back, staring at the white walls. You can see Johnny about turn to face you just as you were staring, and terrified of getting caught, you whip your eyes back to where they are supposed to be, on the white, pristine walls. 

“I’m done,” Johnny says. “But I’ll need to go to the other room to get my clothes.” He smiles, his face a little red. Good, he didn’t notice you staring. 

“Let’s go to the seafood bar,” you say before Johnny can say anything else. As you try to make your mouth water at the seafood you read on the website was the best in Korea, your mouth is watering at something else… 

Oh, how you wish Johnny stopped being friends with you after that project. 

-

Instead of getting drunk on the beach for the twentieth time during your stay, you decide to invite your favorite couple Seulgi and Taemin for some beach volleyball. It looks fun in those summery beach movies, so why not try it in real life?

You asked the receptionist at the front desk where all the sports equipment was, and she showed you a portable storage unit near the part of the beach that was owned by the resort, and the four of you take the time to set up the net. 

While playing under the hot sun, the time passes by quickly. Taemin and Seulgi win the first set while you and Johnny win the second set, both worth twenty points (neither of you were sure how many points a real beach volleyball game was supposed to last, and twenty seemed like a good number). 

The final set consists of fifteen points, mostly only to be the tiebreaker set, as you have learned from watching a little beach volleyball in the summer Olympics. The previous sets weren’t that long since neither you, Johnny, Seulgi, or Taemin were that good and were honestly a little scared to be diving head-first into the sand to keep the ball in the air. But as the competitiveness of the game increases by the set, all four of you are willing to do what it takes to win. 

The match is at 12-11 with you and Johnny on the losing side – for now. The best thing about having Johnny on your team is that Johnny is at least six feet tall and perfect for blocking the ball from coming to your side – embarrassingly enough, that was probably where the majority of your points came from because Seulgi had a difficult time diving for the ball, and you weren’t exactly much better. Sure, you had pretty good reflexes – back when you were growing up with Iris, you could swat her hand away when she tried to pull your hair – but those reflexes weren’t the same type you needed to keep a volleyball in the air. 

“12-12,” Johnny says, smirking at Taemin and Seulgi. 

“It’s not fair!” Seulgi whines. “You’re so freakishly tall,” she jokes. Taemin presses his lips in a fine line in good humor. Being only 5’9, he would have to jump really high if he wanted to block Johnny’s shots, and that only happened sometimes. 

The final set persists. Every time you and Johnny would get another point, you both were cocky and off-guard, leaving Taemin and Seulgi to regain a point and keep the score tied. Once, they earned another point, leaving you and Johnny behind one point. The final set in beach volleyball doesn’t end until one team earns two more points than the other team, and sometimes that leads to sets that were more than twenty points. 

Thankfully, though, this set does not go over twenty points, but ends with twenty points exactly. With this heat, you were praying that it would end soon so that you could get a drink of water (which you would get only every ten points into the set). 

With you and Johnny leading, you serve the ball. Seulgi is able to receive it and set it into the air, when Johnny is able to jump up and block the ball. He is able to aim his block to an exposed part of Taemin and Seulgi’s side, where neither of them are in range of protecting. After Johnny makes his move, neither Seulgi or Taemin could stop the ball from touching the sand. 

“We win!” You exclaim excitedly to Johnny. Noticing how Seulgi and Taemin are watching, you run up into your best friend’s arms and kiss him on the cheek. Johnny carries you and presses a soft kiss on your lips, playing along (and sadly, nothing else). 

“We get it,” Taemin rolls his eyes. 

You and Johnny help Taemin and Seulgi take down the net, and you shake hands. 

“Good game,” you say to each other. Seulgi pulls you in for a hug while Taemin and Johnny fist bump in good faith. 

“See you guys later,” Taemin says. He directs his gaze to you. “After you told us about the surfing, we’re going to try it out,” he smiles at you then redirects his gaze to Johnny. They both bow in a means to say ‘good-bye,’ and they take the net away, which you all agreed would happen to the losers of the game. Johnny takes the ball, and you throw some sticks you found to mark the court towards the ocean. 

Seulgi and Taemin are just ameobas in the distance as you and Johnny make your way in the same direction, sand coating your feet. The walk is slow since the sand seems obsessed with ensnaring your feet.

As you walk, your arms brush. Due to the awkwardness parading around as a married couple, you jump back, but Johnny doesn’t. 

“When are we going to stop pretending?” He asks suddenly, perfectly in Johnny’s signature direct style. Your eyes widen. You knew it; Johnny hated pretending to be married to you, after all who would want to be married to you? Even Kun, your fiance of numerous years, didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you. 

“What do you mean?” You ask cooly, trying not to show that your lips are starting to quiver. 

“Pretending to date?”

You take a deep breath. “When we get out of this resort. Then we can go back home and pretend that this never happened, and you don’t ever have to talk to me ever again because I forced you to play along as my fake husband–”

The words that keep falling out of your mouth evaporate as Johnny faces you, a serious look on his face. His brown eyes contain the utmost seriousness. 

“That’s not what I meant,” he says. You cock your head. It’s as if your heart stopped, waiting to beat again until Johnny says something.

Johnny then says the words that make the earth shatter under you. 

“When are we going to stop pretending to date and start actually dating?” 

You feel completely winded.

“R-really dating?” You stammer. You couldn’t believe it. While you were suffering alone, thinking that Johnny probably doesn’t like you back (for the second time since you’ve met the guy, in fact), he’s standing right in front of you, telling you the opposite of what you’re expecting. 

“Yeah,” Johnny says. He takes your wrist, the volleyball between his waist and elbow long forgotten as it drops onto the sand. The world has stopped rotating, and only you and Johnny are in this moment. 

“Why?” You can’t seem to get over your astonishment. 

“Because you’re really great, and I can never get you out of my mind,” he says. Your gaze continues to burn a hole into his eyes, and he finally continues. 

“I’ve been in love with you since junior year. So what’s that?” Johnny asks, rhetorically, “Seven years?” You have to keep yourself from letting your jaw drop to the ground. “On and off of course,” he smiles. 

“I was so worried you didn’t like me back,” Johnny says, taking a hand and combing his hair back, revealing his tanned forehead. You can tell that this is a dialogue that has taken years to perfect and to get the courage to say. 

You can’t believe that you’ve never had the courage to say these words like Johnny, preparing to love him in silence once again.

“Not to mention that it could change our friendship forever,” Johnny said. 

“But Y/N,” he says. “Not for a second did I stop thinking about you. In college, there was something missing. Sure, I had a few girlfriends here and there, but there was nothing that was substantial. Every time I went out to an Italian restaurant, and I would remember how much you love pasta,” Johnny smiles to himself. 

“When I got with Kun, why didn’t you say anything?” You ask. 

“Because,” Johnny sighs. “I thought it was too late. You were already in love with him. And I tried to move on. But I couldn’t,” Johnny says suspensfully. 

“Then this honeymoon thing happened. I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. I don’t want to lose you to another man, not again,” Johnny says, his voice rising in slight anguish. 

“It was so hard to look at the happy pictures of you and Kun on Instagram kissing, holding hands, going out together. In fact, it drove me insane,” Johnny chortles, in an attempt to keep the mood a little lighter than it was.

The new information puts Johnny in a new light. You shyly try to avoid his gaze, but you fail. You need to tell him this to his face. 

“I guess this is something else we have in common,” you smile. “I’ve had a crush on you since sophomore year, but I’ve been in love with you since junior year,” you take a deep breath, waiting as you let the words resonate in Johnny’s brain. His gaze urges you to continue.

“I didn’t want to tell you anything because I was afraid it would change our friendship. And imagine if you didn’t feel the same way, how awkward it would be. Could we ever really look at each other the same again?” You confess. 

“I had a speech planned out senior year. At prom,” you say. Johnny’s gaze remains fixed on you as he processes the new information. 

“I thought that if you asked me to slow dance, then it would be the perfect time to confess,” you say. “If we slow danced, then it meant that you sort of liked me? Or that the mood was right? I don’t know,” you giggle. “It sounds stupid now that I say it out loud.” 

“Well, you were one step ahead of me,” Johnny joins in on the laughter. “God knows that I was too chicken to confess to you.”

“Iris would say the same thing about me. ‘Just confess already! No it won’t be weird that you’re in college now’” you mock your sister.

“But then my friends introduced me to Kun. He was so different,” you sigh at how young and in love you were with him. “He seemed so exotic. He was the Chinese exchange student, but then became a permanent student and got help with his citizenship. This was when we were together. Kun called me his good-luck charm, and I thought it was a sign that we should get married.” You smile ruefully. “We know where that went.” 

“I don’t think I was ever in love with him,” you start off. “I had this stupid, silly little competition with my sister, but I was really the only one participating. I always had to one-up her, and there wasn’t really any provocation for it,” you confess. It wasn’t like your parents compared you to her. Naturally, you’re a competitive person. 

You’ve never told this to anyone, and suddenly, it feels like there’s a big weight lifted off of your chest. 

“You never needed to be like your sister,” Johnny says. “Just being you is enough.”

Slowly the gap closes between you both. You throat dries at what you’re going to say next, but you force the words out of yourself. 

“I love you Johnny Suh. I always have, and I always will.” Johnny smiles at the tenderness of your voice. You giggle. Finally, it’s out. 

“God, I feel like I could scream it to the world,” you say. 

“Then do it,” Johnny challenges. 

You smile. You step away from Johnny and cup your hands around your mouth. 

“I love you Johnny Suh!” You scream shrilly. At the way peoples’ gazes land on you both for a few seconds, you giggle, and Johnny follows in suit. 

“Now your turn,” you put your hands on your hips. 

“I love you Y/N Y/L/N!”

People mind their own business this time. Love confessions are probably the norm around here. 

Before you can stop yourself, you stand on your toes and place your lips on Johnny’s. His lips feel fresh and you can’t help but feel your heart race uncontrollably. You feel like you could die at this moment because you can’t imagine yourself being happier than you are right now, and you want to preserve the feeling. Johnny feels the same way; he can’t stop kissing you, your cherry chapstick making his mind hazy.

You both stare into each others’ eyes as many thoughts run around in your heads unsaid. Johnny’s hands find their way to your waist. 

“What are you doing?” You ask. He starts moving, to the beat of his own song, and you follow his steps. By now, you have a feeling why he’s doing what he’s doing. 

“Giving you the slow dance that you wanted. And,” he says bringing his lips impossibly close to your’s that you can’t believe he’s not kissing you right now. “The dance I was too scared to ask for.” 

Together, you and Johnny are slowdancing on the beach. The sun isn’t a problem anymore, and everything else has faded away in which it would take a lot to remove you from the little world you’re in with Johnny.

You start humming, and Johnny joins you.

If only you told him nine years ago.

-

A blade of sunshine hits your face, slowly rousing you. 

Your vision is bleary with sleep, but the crisp off-white walls and abstract paintings hanging above the bed signal that you’re in the hotel room that you’re sharing with your best friend Johnny. 

Now, your boyfriend Johnny. 

You both are tangled under the soft white quilt in a mess of limbs. You try hard not to move to abruptly so you don’t wake your boyfriend. There’s something in his face that makes him look so peaceful, so relaxed and child-like; you’ve noticed that people always look like that when they’re asleep. 

If there’s something Johnny has learned over the years, it’s knowing when people are watching him when he sleeps. In college, if he felt the slightest gaze hit him during his boring history class, he would immediately jerk awake to not alert the professor of his lack of effort.

But now, he likes the feeling of your gaze raking against his cheeks. He enjoys it for a few moments before he slowly opens his eyes. Your face is close to his, and you almost want to jump away from shock, being so consciously close to your best fr – boyfriend, you mean. 

Johnny’s hand quickly grabs your wrist. He would hate for you to back away, because then, he wouldn’t be able to smell the pleasant coconut and strawberry bodywash you used yesterday. 

He smiles a sleepy sort of smile. “You’re my favorite thing to see this morning, and all mornings.” 

These words make a fast heat spread across your cheeks, and Johnny only gives you a throaty laugh. “Did you forget that we’re dating now?” 

To Johnny, being your boyfriend seemed natural; maybe that’s because for the last week and a half, he’s gotten a lot of practice.

For you, on the other hand, it’s going to take longer to get used to. Sure, you’ve gotten practice being Johnny’s girlfriend, but for the whole time, you were a bundle of nerves, afraid that at any moment, someone will find out the true story and will immediately start to pity your situation. Or that Taemin and Seulgi would find out and get mad at you for lying. After getting to know them better, you felt bad about all the lying.

Johnny is a go-with-the-flow type of guy, and after being handed the ropes, he knew what to do. That was one of the many things you love about Johnny. 

You lean forward to kiss Johnny’s slightly-chapped lips and smile. “Of course I remember that we’re dating.” 

The two of you hop out of bed together; last night, after eating lots of seafood at the seafood bar for maybe the third time since you’ve come here, were completely full and were too tired to do anything else except lie on your backs and sleep together, feeling more content than you have in a long time. 

Both of you go into the bathroom where you brush your teeth, stealing gazes at each other while foam coated your chins and making silly faces after cleaning your mouths. 

After getting into your beachwear, you both head to the pool, your go-to place before you explored any of the resort for the day. That’s the place where you would meet Taemin and Seulgi, your first couple friends. 

Taemin and Seulgi are already there when you and Johnny arrive. 

“Y/N! Johnny!” Seulgi calls out. Taemin gestures to two empty lounge chairs by their table and they already ordered you guys drinks. 

There’s a reason why you like them.

You and Johnny wave and then join them, taking the two full drinks by their table. 

“How was the surfing lesson?” You ask Seulgi, remembering yesterday that Seulgi and Taemin tried surfing lessons that were advertised on the resort website. 

“Hilarious,” she says. You quirk an eyebrow, finding the response odd, but she continues. “I was having a good time – in fact, I was a natural, but this one here,” she shifts her gaze to Taemin for a few seconds, “kept falling on his butt!” She erupts in a fit of giggles, and Taemin is prepared to argue. 

“The instructor said it was natural for beginners to fall like that,” Taemin defends himself.

“But I was a natural,” Seulgi says playfully, whipping back her hair dramatically. 

“Yes, you were,” Taemin fondly smiles. 

“It took him at least ten tries for him to actually stand upright,” Seulgi says. 

“And what did the instructor say after that?” Taemin challenges in good humor. 

Seulgi smiles, “that pro surfers should watch out.”

Taemin nods, “That’s right, don’t forget,” he bats her shoulder. 

“I’m so lucky to be married to such a stud,” Seulgi says, and at first you think that it’s her being sarcastic, which a small part is, but then her gaze becomes serious. She forgets that you and Johnny are around for a few seconds. 

“And I’m so lucky to be married to a beautiful, natural surfer.” They kiss, and you and Johnny smile. That was you guys just a few hours ago, sick with love that you confessed to one another. 

You don’t feel bitter anymore seeing them together, only glad that you found someone who shares the same kind of love for you that you do for him. 

Seulgi and Taemin’s gazes are back to you both. 

“There’s something…” Taemin trails off, his finger to his chin, “different about you guys.” His voice is clear and astute. Taemin is one of those people whose quiet, but when they say something, people listen to them. 

Taemin collects his thoughts to say something further. He inspects you and Johnny in detail. “You both don’t have a few inches of distance. And you’re holding hands.” He points out. 

You feel your heart catch in your throat. You were hoping that neither of them would notice anything different, but you weren’t really the best actress. 

“Wanna tell them?” Johnny asks. Taemin and Seulgi wait in anticipation for your next words. 

“When we came into this resort, Johnny and I weren’t actually married. Or dating in fact.” These words paint shock on the other couple’s faces. You continue the story with how your fiance of many years left you at the altar, and after paying lots of money for the honeymoon, you decided to still attend, this time single and with one of your oldest friends. 

“We knew it would be really complicated to explain this story the first time we met you or even the staff. So when people would assume that we were married, we didn’t correct them.”

You try to stop the butterflies in your stomach by thinking that honesty is the best policy, and that you’re relieved that you finally told the truth to people you considered your friends.

Seulgi and Taemin are lost for words for a while. 

“Well that’s… eventful,” Seulgi says. You think that she’s about to call you a no-good liar and walk out of your life, but she just smiles. “But I would have done the same thing too. And about your former fiance,” she says, “Fuck him.” 

“Seulgi!” Taemin says, “There’s no call for bad language.” 

“Of course there’s a call for bad language for Y/N’s terrible former fiance. I know you’ve heard it a bunch of times, and you’re probably tired of it, but I’m really sorry that that happened to you.” 

With Seulgi, it didn’t seem like she was trying to sound like they pity you, but her words were heartfelt and genuine. 

“It’s okay,” you shrug your shoulders. “Him dumping me is the reason why I’m here today with the love of my life,” you smile fondly at Johnny after taking a sip of your drink, and he leans in to share a kiss that tastes of strawberries and alcohol. “It gave me time to reassess who I should really be with.” 

After a few moments of silence at your soulful words, you raise an eyebrow playfully. “Maybe I should send him a thank-you note.” 

“Maybe you should,” Taemin says. “It’ll tell him what he missed out on.” 

“this is probably just as embarrassing for you as it is for me but…”

“do you have some… lingerie pictures that i can borrow… ?”

your mouth hung agape whilst you’re in a state of confusion trying to process the very words that are on your screen.

you and your best friend sunwoo are definitely close and r-rated talks are not off the table between you two considering you may or may not have seen more than what just friends would have of each other’s bodies.

however, him getting out of his way to text you and ask for lingerie pictures was new.

you momentarily internally debated with yourself whether he meant pictures of the garments or of you wearing them. you don’t take the risk of making the wrong move and embarrass yourself afterwards so you ask him for clarifications.

“first and foremost, a ‘please’ would be appreciated before you treat me like a common whore”

“secondly, did you mean pictures of lingerie or of me wearing it…?”

“thirdly, what’s this for?”

you go over your sent messages one more time to make sure you’ve made your points clear. surprisingly, without a minute to spare, a text bubble popped up while three dots danced inside it, indicating sunwoo was typing in his replies that shaped your destiny for the night.

“do you have some lingerie pictures that i can borrow? please….”

“a picture of you wearing it would be very much appreciated, if you don’t mind…”

“typing it all out is so tiring, can i FaceTime you instead?”

you read through the lines as every text is sent to you one after the other without a minute to spare. by the time the third one was sent, the information finally sunk into you and you wasted no time in hitting that call button.

just as fast as you hit call, he picked up just as fast on the first ring.

“FINALLY!”

on your screen, you can definitely tell sunwoo is sitting up on his bed, back against his headboard and slumped over like some slug, his typical texting position in bed. meanwhile, your little tiny box in the upper corner of your phone shows you in a much similar position as he is.

however, while he’s beaming with joy and over exaggerating his sighs of relief, your brows are knit together in confusion, still needing more context on why he needs your provocative pictures. this didn’t go unnoticed by sunwoo and after some shuffling on his bed, he finally starts

“okay so, i don’t really have much time with this but I’ll keep it as short as possible”

you made nodding motions to your camera letting him know to continue and fortunate enough that he read through your actions, he does so

“so I’m talking with this girl, we were having fun and vibing, just chilling and texting, but out of nowhere she sends me this picture of her in a lingerie and she goes”

taking a breather, sunwoo pauses for a second as he reaches for the chips beside his bed that he’s been munching on and throws one in his mouth before he continues.

“what do you think? it looks nice doesn’t it?”

you suppress a smirk from forming on your lips at his high pitched voice mimicking, or rather, mocking the girl he’s talking about.

“honestly it was fine, she was fine and knowing me i would’ve said something like ‘yeah, it suits you’ but then she goes”

taking another pause, he clears his voice for a second before proceeding again in a high pitched voice

“i bet your girlfriend doesn’t look this hot wearing lingerie”

‘how much pausing does he need?’ you thought to yourself as you watch him reach beside him once again and take another chip in his mouth before continuing

“first off, the picture was already unsolicited and what she said was even more uncalled for, so i kind of was just frozen there thinking of what to say”

this time, on another pause, he looks at his phone screen and makes eye contact with you, checking if you’re listening and his silent way of asking ‘what are your thoughts?’

“well, considering who you are, I don’t see why a girl’s borderline nudie is a debatable topic with you”

you pause for a while and watch in amusement as his facial expression goes from offended to defeat in a split second, loving how comical he can get sometimes with his reactions

“not gonna lie, i expected you to say ‘yeah, you definitely look hot in it, no girl could ever compare to you, not even my girlfriend if i had one’ or something like that”

sarcasm was evident in your tone as sunwoo only nods in agreement to your words, your words being too close to a fact to be true

“yeah, I would’ve said something like that but I don’t know, I wasn’t feeling it. we were just talking about this netflix show and she shows me her lingerie the next second. I don’t see what’s so turning on about a netflix show”

a snort accidentally goes past your throat but sunwoo shrugs it off and continues with his train of thoughts

“anyways, everything was just unsolicited and uncalled for”

you nod in understanding for a second while you hum in agreement to him before speaking

“so what’s this got to do with my lingerie pictures?”

you ask sharply and watch attentively as sunwoo’s eyes momentarily grow wide in realization and his lips form an ‘o’, clearly telling you he forgot about it

“oh, that, I haven’t responded to her yet so i plan to use your photo and tell her ‘sorry, you don’t compare to her though’ to humble her down”

internally debating with yourself, you let your thoughts run wild whether or not to be on his plan. you’re all about empowering women but sometimes some people just need some humbling down, especially if they drag some other girls down with their agenda

after much thought, you finally agreed to do it, although sunwoo was sure you would decline and tell him off

“okay, I’ll do it”

pulling yourself off of bed, you were too busy to notice how his eyes grew wide in shock at how easily you were persuaded but you already knew his comical reaction was coming

standing in front of your dresser, you rummage through your sets of lingerie and seek for the best ones you got.

you were a sucker for lingerie, you used to swore to yourself to always only use a certain set once in order to get whoever is your boyfriend from that time period to keep wanting more and be amazed every time he sees you in a new set.

however, now that you’ve been single for almost a year, you don’t even know how these sets would look on your present body. taking your chances, you pull out your past favorites, a lacy black bodysuit, a red two piece with matching harnesses, and a lace lilac two piece with harnesses and matching thigh high socks.

too lost in your own world, you totally forgot about sunwoo in the call and his calls for you in the distance have gone mute from your hearing senses. when you walked back to your bed, hoping to lay your choices down, you could hear him singing your name in a nonsensical melody with no other intent than to get your attention.

happy with the arrangements, you pick up your phone from your sheets and switch to the back camera, showing him your little lingerie collection.

sensing movement from his peripheral view, when sunwoo’s attention went back to his phone, he was greeted with your three lingeries spread on the bed and he couldn’t help himself for awing at them.

you watched as his laps momentarily part only to close again as he gulps all the while his eyes moved up and down the sets several times, a clear indication for you that he’s eating those lingerie up like a meal with his eyes.

“i need you to choose one out of the three for me to change in”

the way you laid out the garments on the bed showed him how they would look together so it wasn’t that hard for him to visualize but unbeknownst to you, it’s not the intricacy that got him thinking but rather it was the sheerness of the material, leaving close to nothing to the imagination.

“you can choose anything that you look best in or you know, in what you’d be most comfortable in”

sunwoo accidentally stammered on his words as he tried his best to stay calm with his thoughts which led him to anything but more internal cursing

“i look great in all three and i’m also comfortable in all three, i need you to choose the one that looks best”

you silently smirk to yourself behind the camera as you watch him slowly go red.

for someone like sunwoo, the confident flirt that wouldn’t hesitate to say yes to a relationship, fling, of even flirting, it is quite a sight to see whenever he goes into sheer panic and that is the reason why you’re loving every single bit of what you’re doing to him right now.

“the purple one looks nice”

with a simple ‘hmkay’ you set your phone down and made sure it faced the ceiling, figuring turning off the camera would make it less fun

undressing yourself from your pajamas, you take off the pieces at a controlled pace hoping to not let your excitement show

purposely throwing your garments nearby your phone where they would take small peeks at the camera, you don’t miss the way sunwoo’s eyes would flicker to the screen every time something goes flying past

on sunwoo’s end, he was blushing uncontrollably at the sight of your bra that came off and went flying past the screen just now.

awkwardly cleaning his throat, he momentarily sets his phone down and goes to switch some of the lights off, a pitiful move to hopefully hide the redness on his cheeks

with an attempted effort, he takes off his hoodie and blasts the air conditioning on, hoping that would help cool him down for what’s to come

when he goes back to his bed, he thought you were done because he was greeted with a black screen. but not even a minute later, he hears shuffling and the screen goes bright as you pick up your panty that accidentally covered the camera.

the quick sight of it sent sunwoo to blush even more and it took every ounce of his body to not awkwardly move around and make him flustering be even more obvious

back at your place, you grabbed your phone and made your way to the full body mirror by the wardrobe.

currently, sunwoo sees nothing of it because your camera was set to front but in a matter of minutes that wouldn’t be the case.

“have a check before i take pictures. I sincerely don’t want delete them, and get dressed in a different set again”

noting that you finally had sunwoo’s attention with his eyes waiting on the screen, you flipped to your back camera and showcased the lilac lingerie from the mirror

the sheer material of the cups and panties with very minimal lace gave sunwoo less to the imagination, just as he expected

the mesh socks with lace fringes reach up to the mid of your thighs and their straps was the cherry on top in completing the sultry outfit

all the while you were busy showing it off to him by going on different angles, he was busy mesmerized

“you look beautiful”

a choked out huh? went past your lips, confusion evident in your voice as he suddenly cut you off when you were asking him what would be good positions to take pictures in

without hesitation, sunwoo doesn’t clear up what he said because he definitely meant what he said

“you’re gorgeous, absolutely dashing. i just wanted to tell you that”

at times, you may forget your best friend is a sucker for romance but it is during these times when he has hearts on his eyes with the sweetest smile on his face that reminds you of this side of his

but of course, afraid to cross your line of being friends, you always convinced yourself he only says those things when it’s convenient for him

“oh please, you’re only saying that because im barely dressed right now. i know you kim sunwoo”

you didn’t miss the way his eyes light up at your friendly banter, although it wasn’t even supposed to be in the first place

“this thing’s going to go black in a minute, you know I can’t take pictures with facetime on”

you cut him off sharply as he parted his lips and in without a second to spare you switched to your camera app and started from there

going with your go-to poses, you took as many sultry shots as you can while flexing the flimsy excuse for garments

on sunwoo’s end, about 5 minutes passed by before he heard a notification bell ring on his phone. having caught his attention, he sees that it was from you and upon opening the notification badge, he’s redirected to his messages where he found your pictures

careful to not make a too big of a reaction, he tries his best to control himself as he goes over your pictures, most of which are you on your hands and knees

as if the material was not leaving enough to the imagination, your positions didn’t do too much as well. basically mimicking several sex positions as you take mirror shots, it opened a whole new door for sunwoo

“y/n, are you really sure i can send these out?”

sunwoo asked again in confirmation, noting that the call was still ongoing.

without missing a beat, you answer with a hum and opened your front camera at the same time

“are you sending everything?”

sunwoo sees through the screen as you walk down somewhere and set your phone up on a dresser before he begins to answer

“I’m going to pick and choose if you don’t mind”

“then be my guest”

momentarily, he lets his eyes wander your exposed body before you put on a large t-shirt and due to a short lag you caught him in the act

“enjoying yourself a little too much, aren’t we?”

you tease at him once the connection set back to clear and you didn’t miss the way he scoffed trying to cover up the fact he’s flustered

the angle you’re seeing of him— chin first— tells you perfectly what he’s doing at the moment, which was sending the pictures

killing time, you figured to stay on the floor momentarily, back against the foot of the bed but still be in view from your set up phone.

you let your head hang back onto the mattress for a while as you waited for some noise from sunwoo’s end, hoping he’ll entertain you after his chat

taking a bit too long for your liking, you take a peak and catch sunwoo like a deer in headlights as he tears off his gaze from you in the call

“it’s okay to stare, you know. you’ve already seen everything anyways”

with a hum, sunwoo agrees with you and for a brief moment silence rang in the air as you both feel the tension that was long-before rising

cutting it short, you blurt out just about anything that could be a conversation starter, particularly the first thing that came to your mind— what he thinks of your pictures

“so, any thoughts?”

“for starters, you definitely look good, as always”

in an attempt to lighten the mood you thought of stretching it a little bit more

“with this shirt on or without”

you both chuckled on your ends at the pitiful attempt but sunwoo was onboard with playing along

“without, of course”

sunwoo winked at you and unlike other times he has winked at you during banters, this one sent butterflies in your stomach. maybe because he was referring to your bare body

“well, do you want me to take this off? I’m totally fine with it off”

sunwoo wanted to retaliate but he couldn’t think of anything as a cat got his tongue over the thought of your body again

“aww if you wanted my shirt off that bad you could’ve just said so, you know”

you cooed back at him as you grabbed at the hems of your shirt and pulled it over your head, back arched and tits bouncing off in motion of the garment coming off

sunwoo could’ve sworn he felt his dick twitch in his pants at the sight and he just knows the tip is probably red and angry right now in the confinement of his sweatpants

“wish granted mister kim sunwoo, what else do you need?”

sarcasm dripped off your tongue as you teased him again for the nth time tonight

“speaking of which, I’m kind of like your genie for tonight, granting 3 wishes and all that. the picture being one, the shirt being two, what’s the third?”

“sex on call”

you lightly joked around at first but sunwoo’s sudden blurt threw you off guard, not to mention how your pussy instinctively gave a pulse at it

“well, miss genie without a bottle, my third wish is sex on call. think you can grant that?”

at this point your pussy made several pulses at it because it had waited for this moment for a long time. not the cybersex part but the sexual part rather

who knows how long you’ve been fighting your inner demons and been controlling them the past months but they surely are back alive and well at what you’re about to partake in

with a sultry smirk, you decided to play sunwoo’s game and see how far it might go, all the while hoping it doesn’t ruin anything between you two

“who says I can’t grant those kind of wishes?”

going on all fours, you seductively came up to the screen all the while teasingly unclasping the front of your sheer bra

“you know, it takes two to have sex, so you better get on with it”

wordlessly, sunwoo takes his phone and directs it to his hand that has palming the prominent bulge of his boner on the surface of his boxers

“bold of you to assume, I haven’t been holding it in”

sunwoo winks at you momentarily before he shifts around to set his phone somewhere on the bed where it can film him fully just as you did the same on yours

in no time, your hands were on your body and caressed the outline of your lingerie just as how you imagined he would with his fingers

as you were about to take your already unclasped bra off, sunwoo stops you in your tracks

“keep everything on, you better still be fully dressed when we finish”

you jokingly rolled your eyes at him for considering what you have on is “fully dressed” even though you barely are.

“be bratty and I won’t let you cum”

sunwoo’s tone suddenly became firm as his eyes hungrily roam your body while you waited for his command.

“sit on your ass, spread your legs, and we’ll start from there”

being obedient, you followed his orders and situated yourself in the center of the screen just as how he likes, the smirk painted on his face tells you so

you watch in awe as he pulls out his hard member from his boxers for you to feast your eyes on

it took every ounce of will power in you to not start playing with yourself at the sight and sunwoo knew by the looks of it

reaching for his bedside table, you watch intently as he squeezes some lube on his hands before lathering his standing member with it. careful to do it painfully slow for you

barely capable of keeping yourself controlled, you clawed at the back of your thighs and hung your head back in slight frustration

“eyes on me, princess”

still being obedient, you kept your eyes glued on the screen as you bit on your bottom lip, hard

“open your legs wider and play with yourself”

happy to oblige, you spread your legs widest that you can and your fingers went past the hem of your panties to find your clit while the other hand found their way to your exposed breasts

as sunwoo teases himself by only giving attention to his tip, you also give him the same energy back as you played with your clit and nipple

lubing up his other hand, sunwoo slyly lathers up his abs and thighs with it, the cold trail helping him mimic how your tongue would fee on his skin

throwing his head back, he lets out groans of pleasure as he massages his balls

only further fueling you up, you took it upon yourself to pull your panties to side and slyly lube yourself up with your juices

in time with sunwoo almost inaudibly saying “put your fingers in” through ragged breaths, you shamelessly push in 2 fingers in and you throw your head back in ecstasy, chest rising up and down as your hips grind on your fingers

the sight only turned sunwoo more and without a minute to spare, his hand went to town on his dick with twisting and pulling from his base all the way to his tip

you started off with just curling your digits in you but in no time you started to fuck yourself in the same pace sunwoo did himself.

pulling and pushing your digits in time with sunwoo’s fist going up and down on his shaft, you were a moaning mess trying to keep your other hand busy by playing with your breast

sunwoo took notice of you keeping up with him and so he teasingly fastens his pace, hoping you would too

to his satisfaction, you also sped up your pace, hips grinding on your fingers hoping to get a lot deeper, just as deep as how you know sunwoo’s slender fingers would

“you wish those were my fingers huh? fucking you so deep and so nice you’d want them over and over”

despite the single tears that escaped the corners of your eyes, you helplessly nod at sunwoo sinful word dripping from his lips

“oh yeah? then fuck yourself deep, like how i know you’ve been thinking i would do to you”

liking how responsive you are with him, sunwoo also slyly starts to buck his hips in the air as he feels his high coming

desperate to make you cum before he does, he dirty talks his way in throwing you off the edge

“touch your clit too, princess”

the slight nudge of the pad of your fingertip coming in contact with your clit sent a jolt running down your spine and you helplessly whimpered

trying again, you make tight circles on the sensitive nub and your hips rocked against your fingers at the building tension

“that’s it, do it faster, your fingers can’t keep up with my tongue at that rate”

fastening your pace on both fingers, in and on you, in no time your legs threatened to close themselves as you let out your juices on your fingers

thinking it was done, you took a breather but sunwoo thought otherwise

“not yet princess, do some more, i know you can take it”

you had no energy in you but at the sight of sunwoo bucking his hips into his fist was enough to have your digits back in you

“keep up”

his eyes locked on your fingers as you quickened without missing a beat. need not to be said twice, you teased your clit again as you curled your fingers in you.

your moans and whimpers got more high pitched as you feel the knot in your stomach again. your hips rocked and jerked around as you feel your legs start to tremble in overstimulation

just in time, sunwoo starts to let out groans and ragged breaths and his thrusts got a lot more desperate.

without a second to spare, he spurted his cum a couple of times they messily land on his hand and abs.

while he’s catching your breath, you threw yourself off your high and came on your fingers with trembling thighs that instinctively closed.

knowing his eyes would be on you, you spread your legs open as you pull your fingers out. attentively watching sunwoo whose also just as attentively awing at the sight if your cum dripping out of your hole, fingers glistening in your release.

“that was— so good”

you managed to squeak in through ragged breaths and you blindly hear sunwoo on his end of the call chuckling

You, nerdy and naive, had agreed to sit on his lap to—by his own words—increase your dopamine levels for a better…learning experience.

"Dopamine is the hormone we produce when we feel pleasure!" you recite proudly, voice dripping with the innocence that Sangyeon loves.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he chuckles, and with a proud, wide grin, along with little smiles in his eyes, he brings his hand up to cup the shape of your head before stroking. “You’re so cute.”

You can’t help but lower your face at the praise, hiding behind the curtains of your hair as you bloom pink at the cheeks.

“Well…it’s all thanks to you, Sangyeon,” you start quietly, “I…I couldn’t have done this without you…”

It’s such a cheesy line, but they use it in every sappy porn scene before the actors fuck each other dumb—so you’re hoping this overly cute act of yours will pay off.

You feel a lock of your hair slowly dragged back behind your ear, forcing the reveal of how submissive you look—all shy with those pouty lips and stupid, clunky glasses that are obviously too big for your cute face.

Your timid eyes trail up to meet his soft and reassuring ones, and you swear you’re about to forget the script. There’s so much love in his gaze—or at least that’s what it looks like—that anyone watching could be fooled into thinking this isn’t just some porn video.

You’ve heard quite a bit about Sangyeon in the industry, but none had ever warned you that he could make your heart beat this fast.

Instinctively, you press the glasses back up your nose bridge, and nearly stutter on your next line—but if anything, the butterflies in your stomach should help you immerse better into character.

“S-sorry,” you mumble, shifting your focus back on your notes immediately, “I-I should really, um…yeah…”

Just when you’re about to read the next word, Sangyeon slips his hand on your skirt, and the whiplash almost makes you choke in front of the cameras—this wasn’t part of the script, was it?

His improvisation sure is…next level—but this is exactly what the other porn actresses have warned you about. Focus, Y/n.

Pushing it to the back of your mind, you let it sit peacefully on your bare skin—caressing and gently squeezing your soft flesh every couple of seconds. Shit…he clearly knows what he’s doing.

“How about you read…” his finger trails down the page until his eyes settle on a certain word, “ah...this one for me?”

His suggested word makes you gulp, but you press on anyway, with only a millimeter of determination.

“To a-arouse…” you begin, mentally cursing the man you’re sitting on, “...is to exci-”

The squeal he makes you release in front of the crew and cameras, is embarrassing, to say the least—and all by one single squeeze too tight on your skin.

You can’t see it now, but you can tell this menacing man has the most smug, shit-eating grin on his face as he softly runs the pads of his fingers over the red on your thigh to soothe the slight burn.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Sangyeon coos, feigning innocence as you try to uphold yourself, “You were doing so good for me…”

You look pretty stupid right now, huffing by yourself, but sly ass Sangyeon’s enjoying every long second of it as you sit directly over his hardening cock.

You definitely didn’t expect this—but you finally understand why he’s so heavily praised for his work. You’ll just have to learn along the way, and maybe even add your own spice to it.

“S-sorry…I-I don’t know what got over me,” you fake sniffle, and he lets you hop off his lap to pick up the fallen pencil. But as soon as you bend over and purposefully hold the pose right in front of him, your short skirt rides right over the rim of your plump cheeks, giving him and the cameras a clear view of the silky, white fabric glued to your sweet spot.

You hear him sigh not-so-subtly—his expanding cock is running out of space, hugging it so much that his brows come together, and teeth tug at his plump, bottom lip—while he studies your ass. The sexual tension is obviously killing him, but toying with him comes at the price of your own neediness.

Once you’re sure even the production crew in this room is erected from your eye-candy of an ass, you pipe up and flatten out your skirt before practically bouncing back onto the male’s lap.

Either he’s being overly dramatic and trying to play it up for the video, or you’d single-handedly crushed his next generation with the weight of your ass—if he manages to have kids after this, it’d be a miracle.

Nonetheless, you’d like to say you’ve kept the force light and simple, but the grip he has on your hips as you shift around on his lap to find comfort, seems to be tightening as you do so. But it’s not like he can tell you to stop—for the sake of the porn, and because he doesn’t want you to stop.

Hm, maybe this is fun.

Having him at his wits’ end so early in makes you feel a bit too powerful…but you can’t let it consume you just yet, or you’ll fall out of character. So, you ignore his little, pained hisses and sighs to begin your next line.

“Where we’re we…ah!” Your body perks excitedly, “To arouse…is to excite someone sexually!”

At this point, Sangyeon had already calmed down, and you can tell by the way his breathing has somewhat leveled. But now that you’ve worked him up, you don’t know what to expect.

Suddenly, your face tips upward in his direction, and is held firmly by his fingers; but horribly intimidated, you don’t dare look into his eyes, and can only feel his plump lips so close to your jawline. He might as well just rail you now-

“Oh, you’re such a good girl, aren’t you?” God, you’ve never heard a voice like his, dangerous and on the verge of ruining you. “Why don’t you use it in a sentence for me, then?”

Leaving no time for relief, Sangyeon tugs your body tight up against his once more—and with your skirt riding up, you can clearly feel his his rock-hard bulge pressed up between your clothed pussy. “Or maybe,” he growls in your ear, “you’d like to show me…visually.”

Him and his stuffed cock are clearly mad with an unmeasurable lust, but you don’t let that deter you yet. Just a little more.

“I…”

Nothing else fills the room, but silence and sexual frustration, so you begin again.

“I…”

It’s when his sly smirk crawls into the corner of your eye that you squeeze your eyes shut.

“I-I need to use the restroom!” you blurt, and with ease, Sangyeon lets you go just like that.

You hop off his lap clumsily, but keeping your head down as you ask, “M-may I use the restroom, p-please?”

“Of course, you can, sweetheart,” your tutor answers with a soft grin, and leans back on his hands where you can see his bulge clearly. “Take your time.”

———

You wish you had known what he really meant by those last three words.

Because you definitely did not expect to walk in on him rubbing his plentiful cock to the panties you’d worn yesterday-

“S-sangyeon? Wha-what are you doing??” You choke out behind shocked fingers.

He moves your used fabric an inch or two away from his nose, but still keeps it close, “What does it look like I’m doing, sweetheart?”

“You-you’re-“ you gulp, cheeks flushed as you state the obvious, “you’re touching yourself!”

“That’s right,” he sighs, slowing his strokes, and for some reason, your nerdy mouth blurts the other term for it, “M-masturbating!”

Sangyeon’s eyes narrow on you, and he touches his nose with your soft panties again, eyes fluttering as if he’s flourishing in your scent.

He inhales it like a drug, and you press your thighs together. “Correct, again,” he chuckles with heavy eyes, “Fuck…I love the way you smell, y/n.”

Sangyeon rotates the hand with your panties to admire them a bit more from different angles. “Your scent still lingers,” he bites his lip, and shifts his focus back on you, “but I think I’ll need your new ones…”

You may be naive, but you know you want him.

So, as if in a trance, you keep your eyes locked on his as you reach under your skirt, to peel the soft panties off your damp cunt.

It’s slow and almost teasing to him, but as soon as you step out of them, you’re already advancing towards his broad figure like a mindless slave.

“Put them in my mouth,” Sangyeon instructs, and waits for you to stuff his parted lips with the fabric. You let your two fingers sit alongside your panties as his mouth suffocates them with warm saliva.

Maybe it’s the way he willingly takes your new panties in his mouth, or the way he groans with the fresh sweetness of your pussy—he’s so fucking hot, you could cum right now.

But you can’t just stand here and watch him have his fun alone, so you push at his chest to back him up against your bed frame. Following him, you crawl onto the mattress until you’re settled between his spread legs.

You push his legs even further before dipping down to take a single, soft swipe of his throbbing tip. Sangyeon appreciates the tease with a low groan, heavy eyes asking for more.

And you’re more than willing to give him what he wants—but first, you’d have to angle and perk your ass up, so that the cameras can get a sexy shot of your ass beneath the otherwise useless skirt.

The lighting should be able to illuminate your swollen, glistening slit, so once the director gives you the thumbs-up, you turn back towards your needy tutor and his thick, waiting cock.

Your nerdy glasses slide down and sit by the edge of your nose as you take only his tip past your lips.

It’s so thick and round, taking an unreasonable amount of space in your mouth—to be honest, you’re not sure you can take his whole length.

Seeing you struggle with your own inner dialogue, Sangyeon chuckles and urges you down his cock anyway, with a single hand sliding through your hair. He knows you can take it.

“S-sang- mnnph…mnph-“ It’s no use getting too him—you’re just slobbering around his cock, drool dribbling everywhere as he pushes you further down, taking him in throb-by-throb until tears form at the corners of your eyes.

You have to admit—you’ve never been particular great at giving head, but at the least, you’ve learned how to control your coughs, so missing on a bit of air shouldn’t be too much of a problem for you.

And especially not when it’s Sangyeon’s godly cock in your mouth. At this point, you’d do anything to make him feel good, even if it means choking on him every few seconds.

Every time his tip hits the back of your throat, he groans against the fabric and bites down even harder to calm himself down. Fuck, your essence is so sweet in his mouth, that he’s going dumb sucking as much of it off—but that’s exactly what innocent girls like you taste like.

With how cute you look with his cock filling your mouth, and wet lips swollen purely of precum and spit—God, not to mention the big, round glasses hanging crooked on your nose and barely hanging on, accentuating how sweet and innocent you look as you watch his face contort in pleasure—it almost makes him wanna-

Sangyeon pulls your head off his cock immediately, and helps you sit up as he breathes heavily through his nose.

You tilt your head in question, blinking all cute and ignoring the blatant mess of precum-spit all over your mouth and chin. “D-did I do something wrong?” You pout, quickly losing confidence.

Sangyeon tugs your panties, now fully drenched, out of his mouth, and rests his head against the headboard.

“Of course not, sweetheart-” he pants, hair now disheveled, and lazy grin as soft as ever, “Didn’t wanna cum too early.”

The smile he gives you makes you grow even more flushed, as if your cheeks weren’t the reddest shade by now.

But you couldn’t be happier, knowing that he was seconds always from squirting cum all in your mouth.

“Why don’t you sit on my cock, sweetheart?” he suggests, chest still heaving, but it seems he’s calmed down for the most part, “Ride me.”

It’s the pout that you’re trying to hide, t-totally not because you’re ashamed of your lack of sexual experience. Still, Sangyeon sets your panties to the side and opens his arms towards you. “Come here, baby. I’ll teach you.”

You can’t turn him down now that he looks like this—arms and legs open, cock up and swollen, and the most sweet, yet lustful, reassurance on his face.

Before the rest of your doubts could creep in, you urge yourself right into his big, warm, loving arms, not caring much about your skirt still on—figuring he’ll probably love it anyway.

“That’s it…” his back slides a bit further down, so that his head can rest at the base of the headboard, and helps you straddle him. His hands position your hips right above the head of his cock, while both of yours pillar on his chest for support.

He has such a strong grip…and big arms…he looks so hot…You find yourself drifting off into admiration, until you realize he’s looking right at you.

Flustered, you look straight ahead at the headboard to avoid his loving gaze, but the gradual pressure of his tip pressing against your opening has your nervous eyes back on him.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he says softly, “I’ll make you feel good, okay? We’ll go slow.”

God, if words could kill. His cock was already too much for your poor mouth—you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels inside of you.

He can tell you’re still distracted by all sorts of emotions, so he brings a hand up behind your head and pulls you down into the comfort of his plump lips.

You’ve never kissed him before, but compared to the other porn actors you’ve worked with and have kissed, Sangyeon’s gotta be the best one so far. No doubt. So sweet, and so loving, despite this all being fake and scripted.

Okay, maybe you are genuinely naive, because nothing seems fake and scripted about this kiss. It feels…different with him.

You whimper in his kiss, and somehow break it with a small gasp as he pushes himself in. Keeping your hips still and face close, he mumbles against your lips, “I’ll take care of you, baby. I promise.”

You nod, cute face scrunching from the stretch as you keep yourself from crying, but Sangyeon keeps his word and inches himself into you slowly.

And he keeps the pace nearly the same as he begins thrusting his hips up into you, but letting his hand travel down to your ass so that the firm squeezes can distract you from the discomfort for now.

At this point, you’re holding onto his shoulders, too lost in watching him feel the same pleasure you are. His brows knit as he gradually picks up the pace, loving how warm you feel hugging his cock, and craving more of it.

“Fuck, you’re s-so…good for me…there- mmnh…make me feel good, sweetheart…”

Sangyeon grunts and sighs, watching you with the heaviest of lust in his eyes and bottom lip under his teeth; he continuously hits the right spot in your cunt, and can feel you tighten around him every time. He’s a bit too drunk off your little whines and whimpers to realize he might not last as long as usual, but he doesn’t care. It’s as if your sweet, little pussy was made just for him.

“You don’t know how long I’ve-” he says between breaths and pleasure, “…wanted you, y/n…”

He’s fast, and seems too fucked out to hear your first warning, but knowing that only draws your closer and closer to your high. His jaw clenching like that…

“S-sang, please-“ you whine again, but more choked and desperate, “I-I’m gonna…c-cum…”

You lower your weakening body down, and press your head into his heaving chest. As much as you’d love to see his face when he cums, the pleasure is starting to build up faster than you’d expected.

You don’t think you can take it anymore. His thrusts are getting…faster…please- right there-

Just then, he flips you over onto your back without warning, and power drills his hips into you—hard and deep enough for your clit to gain the friction it needs. But it’s also because he can’t wait either—he’s been losing his mind the entire time, wanting to fuck you - ruin you since he’s laid eyes on you.

“Let me…cum with you,” he breathes out above you, and cups a hand under your head, “I want to cum with you, sweetheart...”

That’s really all you can make out of his voice, and all you needed to hear before convulsing under him. You swear that even in your fuzzy senses and blurry vision, you could see something in there—in his eyes, just for a second…the most loving eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Forget about the cameras…it’s just you and me,” he’d whispered, guiding you through the sobs of ecstasy, “that’s it, baby….you and me.”

You know what you had seen, even if your eyes were fluttering and filled with tears as he fucked the orgasm into you. Perhaps, the most intense you’ve ever had.

You wrap your shaking legs around his waist, and Sangyeon proudly pushes his hips into yours, deep and heavy like his orgasm. God, he looks so fucking hot…cumming like this.

The throbbing of his cock got lost in how fast and thorough he was fucking you, but now that his hips are stilled against yours, you can definitely feel the pulsing now.

With a hefty sigh, Sangyeon’s head dips into the crook of your neck, and your swollen pussy continues milking him dry—drenched folds sucking his cock clean of cum.

Your tutor stays there for a few more seconds, just catching his breath, before finally lifting his head.

As Sangyeon looks at you—studies you, observes you, gazes at your cute, loving-self—he can’t help but laugh softly. This little moment alone is enough for you to forget that his dick is still sitting inside of you, but you don’t mind. In fact, it feels nice. If you didn’t have a thing for cockwarming before, you definitely do now.

“How was that, sweetheart? Did you feel good?” He kisses your forehead, and finally removes the fogged up glasses that you forgot was also there. Nonetheless, you nod, and though, you’re feeling pretty worn out, you still try to offer him a soft smile—which only he could appreciate after fucking your brains out.

“I told you I’d take care of you,” he smirks, but it’s gentle, and in good nature.

———

Just as you leave the restroom, you catch Sangyeon finishing up his conversation with the director—who seems to have enjoyed your scene together judging by how enthusiastic he is.

As you approach Sangyeon, a couple of your colleagues’ remarks from the side make you giggle. He cums so fucking much…it’s probably why he has such a big, fucking cock, right? He probably generates loads of cum by breathing…

“It felt…real?” Sangyeon questions, eyes widening in surprise. What a coincidence that you step out just in time to hear them—well, you don’t mean to eavesdrop, but…

“She’s a lovely co-star,” Sangyeon states with a confirming nod, “I would love to work with her again.”

You see him close the space between himself and the director. Damn! He’s whispering something, probably about you…

It’s making you kinda nervous, considering that it could be something bad…

“Ah- ahh,” the director evil laughs, and returns a funky wink of his own after Sangyeon gives his secret input, “Sure, I’ll see what I can do.”

The director winces at Sangyeon's playful hit and they share a laugh, but he immediately clears his throat once you finally come into view. “Oh? Here she comes now- I’ll leave you two alone…” he says loud enough for you to hear, and Sangyeon turns to greet you with his usual sweet grin.

He guides you off the set for the actors in the next scene, and you both wander around for a quiet place.

But now that you’re both met with some peace, this could be your chance to ask him out.

“Uhh, Sangyeon...” you clear your throat, but the nerves hit even worse knowing that he’s already looking at you.

You scratch your head as filler movement, “Would you, uh…like to…get coffee with me? S-sometime?”

You had just fucked less than an hour ago—how are you more nervous now than being on set?

Sangyeon perks his lips out and pretends to think hard. Would he quit playing with your heart already?

“I…think we’re way past coffee, don’t you think, sweetheart?” He smirks, “How about dinner tonight—just you and me.”

“D-dinner?” You hold your breath, feeling dizzy with just his presence alone, but Sangyeon only hums before inching closer. “Then after that, how about we head to your place?”

You’re too speechless to say anything—all of a sudden, too dumb to react—especially when he’s this close?!

“I just think we could review what we’ve learnt,” he shrugs, but as you’re processing what he means, he shadows your figure, and swipes a thumb over your bottom lip.

“Look what I got for you,” Chanhee sings as he nears your bed with a pink bag in his hands. His excited wiggle makes you giggle as your curiosity raises.

Chanhee had gone out to shop in the morning with a very reluctant Changmin– which was justified considering you all had a final project to submit in a few days and had no time to go spend the little money you had. Not even when he begged you to come with because “clothes are super duper important. Even more than science,” he had said, prompting Changmin to roll his eyes and flick his head.

Although you had declined the generous offer, you still got excited with him about the prospect of getting a present without any occasion.

Were you forgetting a special date?

“But Why? It’s not even my birthday anytime soon? Did you ruin something of mine?” You inquire suspiciously.

Chanhee gasps in offense at the accusation and implication that he would only get you anything when it’s required and not whenever he wants to. He takes the heart shaped pillow you had thrown careless to the side and chucks it at your head.

“Excuse you, I can get you things if I want even without some reason!”

You glare at him when the pillow lands on your laptop and check to see if any damage was done. It’d kill you if he broke your shit when you were so close to completing the project you’ve been mulling over for what felt like ages.

“Anyway, stop fussing around your computer you nerd. Open this!” He shoves the bag into your hands and snatches your laptop away to put on your bedside table.

You take your sweet time opening the bag. Whatever he got seems to be wrapped in a thousand sheets because you can’t even see an outline no matter how much you unwrap it.

Chanhee impatiently waits for you to succeed and when you don’t, he snatches the item from you and rips away the covering. Standing up, he poses with the item to show you the entire thing and it makes your eyes pop out of their sockets.

“Ta da!”

“Is... is that lingerie?”

Chanhee? Getting you lingerie? It sounds even more ridiculous said out loud than it does in your head.

“That’s what’s in my hands no?” He quips, putting a hand on his hip.

“Why have you gotten me lingerie?”

It’s beyond your comprehension whether this just seems inappropriate to you because of your quickly blossoming crush on your best friend or its just weird by nature for your dude friend to get you lingerie.

Not even your boyfriend. Your Best friend.

“I was walking to the food court when I saw these at display and I knew I had to get this for you,”

“How do you even know my size?” You can’t help the questions from forming. But Chanhee, like the clever bastard he is, has an answer for each and every query.

“I do your laundry too, okay. I snoop around your stuff more often than you think,” he shrugs.

“What the hell are you-”

“You’ll look so pretty in them I can’t wait!” He cuts you off, bouncing on his heels.

If you had water in your mouth, you’re sure you would’ve spat it all over him.

“Can’t wait? For what?” Bewildered would be an understatement to describe your current status.

“For you to wear it and show me of course!” He replies before throwing the panty and bra set at your head and making his exit.

“I’ll take a shower and we’ll make dinner!” Is called out before he closes your door shut.

When you hear the slam of his own door, you pull down the lingerie set to examine it. It’s a lilac silk set with fur lining the top of the cups and around the waistband. Swiping your fingertips on the material you assess its cloud-like softness. A subtle heat rises at the image of Chanhee watching the set on a mannequin and imagining you wearing it.

The heat deepens when you remember that Chanhee actually confessed to messing about with your dirty laundry and the vulgar scenarios that pop up into your brain have you hiding your face in shame.

You can’t wrap your head around the prospect of Chanhee buying you lingerie unprompted but him standing alone in the laundry room and using your dirty panties to rub his cock to completion somehow sounds completely normal. And totally appealing.

You groan out loud and shove your face in your covers. Now you have to think of an occasion where you can wear these and then also not think of Chanhee… sigh

The next few days are easier on you than you had anticipated. Chanhee doesn’t mention the lingerie or that he’s waiting for the perfect time to make you model them for him, which he is. Your project finishes without any hiccups and you’re all finally free to do as you please.

Which Chanhee takes full advantage of of course.. as one does.

He gets more touchier than usual, you notice. And more bolder than he used to be. His hands that had never even held yours without permission were now sneakier than ever. You’d be walking past him and suddenly have your top pulled up or your bottoms pulled down. He would explain he was just “trying to see if you wore the lingerie today,” but only after a hard glare.

And you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t notice the subtle yet not so subtle head tilts of his whenever you wore a skirt around him. On more than one occasion you had caught him trying to peek up your skirt but yet again, he said it was totally innocent and that he only wanted to see if it was his present that you were wearing.

One particular morning you were making breakfast when he had snuck up behind you. The heart attack aside, you couldn’t miss his hands caressing any exposed skin that was on display even if you wanted to. And if you lightly pushed out your ass to grind against his very obvious bulge then no one is to blame you. You were too busy trying to navigate how to fry his egg whilst he dragged his nose up your neck and rasped against your ear how much he “adores the way you smell.”

And speaking of smells– you don’t know if your mind is playing games with you but you’re a hundred percent sure you walked in on him doing the laundry and sniffing your panties. A black lace pair, which he then pocketed right in front of your own two eyes, was stuck to his nose when you walked in. But his lack of shame or fear of being caught in the act made you feel like your eyes deceived you.

At this point the clues were all in front of you but you were personally trying to gaslight yourself into believing it was all in your head and your best friend was not groping you every chance he got. You couldn’t just blatantly tell him you wanted to fuck him right? That he’s hot as fuck and yes you’ve been friends for years but now his dick is kinda looking like something you need to get pounded by?

What could you possibly even say to him? “Hey dude yeah since the day you got me the lingerie set I’ve been noticing you be extra pervy with me like randomly pulling me onto your lap and subtly making me grind on your thigh and I’m sure at one point I felt you cup my pussy which you said was an accident but there’s no explanation why your hand was there in the first place so I don’t know where to go with this haha love you though.”

You’re out of breath and rambling even thinking about that, how the hell are you supposed to say it to his face?

But you so desperately wanna tell him that last night while he “jokingly” pushed you over the back of the couch and pushed his hard-on between your asscheeks accidentally because he was bent over you to whisper in your ear, you had wanted him to strip you naked and take you then and there.

Alas, he had only burst out laughing and left you draped on the couch speechless and needy. You don’t even remember what he had said, only that he was grabbing onto your hips like he was going to pull you onto his naked cock at any second.

But never mind last night, or any night before. You had gotten back your results for your project and had gotten the highest grade in the class. You were relaxed, in your zone and flourishing.

Until Chanhee had barged into your room holding a bottle of champagne and that frightening glimmer in his eyes that always rang the alarms.

He was up to no good.

“Since we’re both free and winning at life, I propose we celebrate with cheap champagne and making fun of our old photos,” his giggle had you almost giving in and confessing then and there.

He made himself comfortable next to you on your bed, immediately cuddling into your side.

“Don’t you have any better ideas,” you choked up.

Your fingers crossed, you begged the universe to please let this night pan out smoothly.

“C’monnnn, don’t you wanna see the idiots who thought kids stealing their crayons at daycare was the most horrible thing in life and tell them there’s worse things in life than that. Like Changmin thinking calculus in college is better than getting bitches–”

“Leave his bitchless ass alone,” you cut him off, which made him shriek out in a laugh. Next time you see Changmin, you’ll be sure to apologise to him for your disrespect towards his education-oriented life choices and how easy it was for you to agree with Chanhee.

You still resumed scoffing at Chanhee’s enthusiasm. “That won’t be as fun as you’re giving it credit,”

“Who cares,” he turned to you. “We’ll think of something more interesting later,”

His hooded eyes worsened your heartbeat and you had to pinch yourself to not get lightheaded under his gaze.

Your voice broke when you opened your laptop and whispered out an “okay fine,” and Chanhee took a quick sip from his glass before patting your thigh and keeping his hand there. A brief once over at him had you shivering in your seat.

However, multiple glasses of alcohol and thousands of childhood photos of you and Chanhee later, one thing led to another and you two had moved on to taking new pictures of each other to make new memories.

After taking another way too close shot of your face that made your face look like a fish and exposed all your pores, Chanhee laughs so hard that he falls next to you. You’re still looking at the image on his phone when he turns to you and takes it as an opportunity to admire your face.

“You’re gonna burn my face with your laser focus,”

He rolls his eyes at your comment when you return his stare.

“I’m not lasereyes from X-men–”

“His name is Cyclops– I swear one of these days Hyunjae and I are gonna beat your ass for disrespecting our superheroes,” whining, you shove his hands away from your sides as he tries to pull you into a spooning position.

“Wanna make some new memories?”

The sudden change in topics makes you still and whip your head to look at him. The vague proposal could hold many underlying messages and knowing Chanhee, it definitely does.

“What kind of memories?”

Chanhee gets up and pushes himself over you, caging you on the bed.

“Why don’t you wear the pretty lingerie I got you a few days ago and pose for me,” you gulp so harsh it almost turns painful but Chanhee continues, his register lower than before, “In a few years, we can look at those photos instead since you find the old ones boring,”

You don’t have the strength to say much and silently move away from under him. Chanhee’s eyes follow your ass walking away and he sits on the edge of the bed facing your closet.

Taking out his present is a quick process since you never found it in you to properly stash it away. Pulling your shirt up a little, you call out for him to close his eyes. You don’t turn to look whether he’s following instructions or not. Strangely, you’d prefer if he watched.

To say Chanhee’s awestruck when he sees you would be an understatement.

The bra cups your tits perfectly and the fabric and fur attachment makes them look plump and soft. It makes Chanhee’s hands itch besides him. His eyes trail drown to your torso all the way to your panties. His brain immediately starts pestering at him to pull the sides up so he can see the outline of your pussy more clearly. Instead, he beckons you closer with his fingers.

You refuse to look at him when walking your way towards him, twiddling your thumbs and trying not to let self-consciousness force you to run for the hills.

Standing between his spread legs, you wait for a reaction. Chanhee holds your waist to look at you all over, rubbing your sides with his thumbs to alleviate some of your very visible embarrassment. He lets go with one hand, opting to grab you right under your asscheek and pulls you even closer.

“If I ask you to do something,” you finally look into his eyes, legs trying to buckle from his breathy voice, “will you be a good girl and do it for me?”

There’s a small smirk on his face and you’re sure he can feel the goosebumps rising on your skin. You nod your head yes and wait for him again.

Chanhee takes his time voicing his command, letting the suspense marinate while dragging his palms all over your naked legs and waist.

“I want you to rub yourself on my covered cock until you make a wet patch right here,” he completes his sentence by poking at your pussy lips through the silk. The action makes the crotch of your panties pulls the cloth to form the shape of your pussy, just like he wanted.

Nipping at your bottom lip you consider that taking a seat on his lap is the only logical move to make next. Chanhee hisses when, in your effort to get comfortable, you brush against his hidden cock. Throbbing already, your movements are way too slow for him to wait.

He swiftly pulls down his sweatpants all the way to his thighs and grabs the back of yours to slide you against him. Cock pushing between your folds, he drags out a relaxed sigh as the heat of your centre wraps around him. His cock pulses underneath you and he pulls you harder against him. Even through the safety of both of yours underwear’s, Chanhee’s bulge pushes at your clit repeatedly.

You can’t stop the small cries from escaping your mouth at each drag of your cunt against his dick because the sensation of your drenched panties sticking to your folds has your hole clenching in desperation.

Chanhee’s control over your hips never ceases its steady rhythm and continues to make your clit more sensitive as time ticks by. Overcome with desperation you had to shove your hand over your mouth to stop whining like a wounded animal. Your neediness kept swinging out of hand with every swivel of your hips.

Chanhee takes it upon himself to surprise you with suddenly jolts of his pelvis, digging his cock deeper into your split lips in random intervals.

Soon enough, your hips stutter and you hunch over Chanhee, holding his shoulders for support. Your cunt drools enough to form a large wet patch at the crotch of your panties just as Chanhee wanted. He instantly pushes you to stand up again to see the results, carelessly ignoring your trembling legs.

His silent stare makes your hips buck up in anticipation of any further stimulation. You burn up in embarrassment when he suddenly takes to the floor, knees digging into the floor in front of you. No order is given before he pull’s you in and shoves his face between your thighs.

Your thighs open awkwardly besides his head as he sniffs at your crotch. Multiple theories popped up in your mind yet none of them suggested that he was going to lick a stripe up your pussy through your panties. You gasp at the sensation and he moans into your folds, letting you know how good you taste even through a barrier.

He wraps his mouth around your heat and sucks harshly, his saliva adding to the dark patch drenching the cloth. An ironically chaste kiss is placed on your pubic bone as he bids it farewell for the time being.

One quick movement and half a second later, you find yourself shaken out of your daze when he shoves you on the bed. You lay on the mattress spread wide and out of breath.

Tugging off your panties, Chanhee makes his way up your body leaving kisses one after the other starting from the bottom of your torso all the way to your neck. He wraps his fingers tightly around the back of your knees and pulls your legs up to bend them for easy access.

“Hold these here, I want you to feel me in your throat,”

His desire drips from his voice as you nod at him.

“Speak up or i’ll tie you to the bed and leave you desperate,” his threat makes you whimper in shock.

“Yes sir,”

The use of sir is your way of bringing the intensity of the room down a notch. But you don’t miss the way he immediately grinds himself into your exposed centre and shudders out a forced laugh.

“Don’t play with fire,” is the last warning you get before his hard length is digging into your dripping cavern.

He begins his rhythm with slow yet powerful thrusts, choosing strength over speed. Your own response comes naturally as you yelp every time his cock shoves its way into you.

The sloppy sounds only increase in volume as he picks up speed but keeps at the same intensity. You’re certain that you’ve never heard yourself get this wet for anyone. You haven’t even heard these sounds in any porn let alone real life.

Chanhee drops more of his weight on you and shoves his face into your neck to hit deeper inside you. When the tip of his cock reaches your g-spot you cry loud enough to warrant a noise complaint from your neighbours.

His pelvis slaps against your clit in that position and the stimulation from both inside and outside makes you suffocate in pleasure.

The closer Chanhee gets to his release, the harsher he gets in the way he handles your body. Leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck and collarbone, he makes his way to your tits and bites at a nipple. One hand constantly stuck to the side on your neck, he laves his tongue on the nipple to sooth the skin when you shout.

You start losing your senses when his biting starts losing its purpose and gets erratic and messy. As much as you want to run away from his teeth, you keep pushing your chest into his face for more.

With Chanhee wrapped around you, your toes curl and your hands drop your legs when you orgasm for the second time that night, completely delirious and spent. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, heartbeat going haywire while you try and regulate your oxygen intake.

It only takes a few of your overstimulated high pitched moans for Chanhee to pull his dick out of you. He wraps his fist around his cock and rubs tights and quickly to chase his high.

“Chanhee..”

He hums at you when you call him. Bangs stuck to his forehead, his hooded eyes look at you while his own breathing quickens.

“Won’t you paint me with your cum, Chanhee?”

You muster up the question in the most innocent voice you can manage. Sure enough, Chanhee cries out in a broken “ah” and releases all over your torso and your chest. He fists his cock to milk out even the very last droplets of his cum to, indeed, paint you with his cum.

He looks up at you when you giggle at him. The panting makes him hard to focus but when he does, he realises some ropes of cum also manages to land at your face.

“You know,” you begin with hopeful eyes, “It would’ve been nice to get a kiss first,”

Chanhee grabs your legs to drag you down at that and you accidentally moan at the burn your sheets leave on your back.

“I think that’s a girlfriend privilege though,” a raised eyebrows and a quirk of his lips challenges you.

“Then make me your girlfriend. What are you waiting for?” You return his energy.

“If I do then you won’t leave this room without your face dripping in my cum. Are you down with that?” Chanhee’s voice drops a few octaves lower.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A/N - I had so so much fun writing this so I hope you also enjoy! Let me know what you think my friends <3

Taglist - @chewryy @parkhonnie @from-xero @maybeifyoutrieddd @renjun-holic @heednpy

“I think we should open up the relationship.” 

This was the beginning of the end. This is what Yun-jae told you on one random night out. This was eight months, three weeks, and two days into dating him. The relationship, all in all, lasted three years, four months, one week, and three days. 

“But I know you don’t want to. We don’t have to, it was just an idea.”

This is what he added, when, maybe, he saw you tense up. This is what Yun-jae said when, despite being drunk, he became aware of the whole situation, of the unspoken things. How, two days before this conversation took place, he had gone out with a girl, at a music club or something. As friends, probably—although he hadn’t mentioned it, so you had to guess it was that. To hope it was just that.

“Whatever, man.”

This is what Yun-jae said when he realized he had fucked up, before changing the subject to something else.

Back then, you were not the strong, independent woman you are now. However, that girl was slowly but surely being born within you, and she woke up for the first time that night. 

“Is that something that you really want?” This is what you asked Yun-jae, because you loved him. Loved him enough to ask this question. You knew that he was the man you wanted to marry. He had a wide variety of hobbies, and he was one of the most intelligent people you knew. He was a lot more interesting than you were, and you knew that. You’d always known that. 

This was not about monogamy or polygamy. The reason you simply couldn’t even consider Yun-jae’s offer was because you knew this was about one specific girl—hell, maybe two or three, but it was about specific people. Not just a vague idea that had grazed his mind one day. And this made it so much worse. This hurt you. This hurt you more than your heart could take at that moment.

“Whatever.” Again. “It would make you miserable anyway.” This is what Yun-jae had said to put an end to the conversation. The bar was crowded, and maybe he felt bad, maybe he regretted his drunken confession. 

You had finished your drinks, you being mostly busy scanning the whole bar trying to figure out which girl Yun-jae would have liked to take home with him if you had simply said, “yes, let’s open up this relationship.” You figured none of them. Unless, of course, the woman he had gone out with the other day was present tonight. You knew this was about her, all of it.

You had gone home, to this apartment you shared with him, but you felt bad. Guilty. Felt like you were keeping him in a prison, so you had made him tea and sat him down in your bedroom, and you had talked. 

“I don’t want you to look back to today and resent me,” you told Yun-jae. “I love you. I believe in us. I want us to be honest with each other. Do you want to fuck other women?”

“I love you, but sometimes I want to fuck other women.” This is what Yun-jae had told you, finally, still kind of drunk but you knew he meant every word of it. “I’d rather not cheat on you. I just like the idea of being with multiple people.” 

This was the beginning of the end.

But sometimes, the end can take a long time to come about. Doesn’t make it any less painful, though. 

You just get used to the pain, until it becomes your only defense. Then, until it grows so strong that it becomes a weapon. 

“I made a big, big purchase. I bought the Mulchi-ri house. My sister let me know that it was for sale, and the vendors are the exact people we sold it to! It’s in great condition.”

This was the beginning of everything. This is what your mother told you one year, two months, two weeks, and five days after your father passed away in a work accident. It had been quite a shock, as he was so close to his retirement and relatively healthy. The only comfort you got out of this whole situation was that it had been judged that he did not have time to suffer before his passing, nor did he even realize that he was about to die. It just happened. 

It had taken you a lot of time to get over it, and you weren’t quite over it, yet, but it was better. Yun-jae had helped a little in not really talking about it, ever, and mostly pretending your pain was nonexistent, that it would simply pass if you ignored it. 

“Are you really moving back there?” This is what you had asked your mother, your heart fluttering at the thought of being able to visit her in what had once been your childhood home. 

This had been a small dream of yours—to revisit your childhood town, the small town that had seen you grow up. You had many, many memories from that place, but in your adult life, you had not made time to ever go back there. 

“Me? No, no, sweet daughter. I like the city, always did, always will. But you, you take after your father. The sea was a part of him. I bought the Mulchi-ri house for you.” This is what your mother said, tears in her eyes. 

You knew she did this with the money settlement from your father’s death. You knew it was very meaningful to her. It was to you, too.

“What? A house in Mulchi-ri?” 

This is what Yun-jae blurted out when you told him the news. He knew about the house you grew up in. You told him about it before, about your high school friends, the whole group. You told him about the heart-shaped tree. You told him about the boy who took your virginity. You told him about the parties, the sneaking liquor out of your best friend’s house. Yun-jae was unfazed by the news about the house.

“It’s ours,” you insisted. A house, a whole house just for the two of you, in a small coastal town in the Sokcho area. The very house you moved into when you were nine years old! To you, it sounded like a dream. To Yun-jae, apparently, it sounded like a nightmare. “For free, literally.”

“But what about my job?” This is what Yun-jae asked you when he couldn’t find any other reason not to go there with you. “We should put up the house for rent, for tourists. There’s a lot of tourists up there, we could make more money.” 

He made more money than you did, him as an engineer and you as a freelance translator/editor. But you were content with your job and enjoyed the contact with each new client. You always found it difficult to approach people in your everyday life, but when forced to do so—for work, as an example—you formed bonds quickly with others, even just on the phone or through emails. You could easily work from anywhere in the country.

You really wanted this house.

You mulled over this for over a week, until, finally, you knew what you had to do. In all of the years of dating Yun-jae, he had made it clear that he needed space. Space, privacy, respect. You gave him all of this and more. If he knew all about your childhood and teenage years, you, in return, knew very little about anything. You did not even know his friends. Only knew them by names and occasional comments on social media. 

No one in the whole world was as good as Yun-jae when it came to compartmentalizing. No one in the whole world hated thinking about the future as much as Yun-jae did. 

You didn’t need a clear plan. But during the relationship, you always made sure that he knew you wanted to spend your life with him. Those vows were never really returned explicitly. Again—Yun-jae needed space. So you gave him space. And then, more space. And more space. 

He liked to think about other women when he fucked you. You knew that because he told you. That faded away eventually, but your mind always wandered back to that night in the bar, when he mentioned opening the relationship. Or that one birthday where he seemed so upset with you but you didn’t know why—you had given him the best gift that you could afford at the moment, had cooked him a meal, had sucked his cock in the morning. 

You didn’t need a clear plan, but you wanted to know if Yun-jae was up for it. A life with you. In any way. You didn’t have many friends, but too many girls of your age around you were getting engaged or having babies. As for you, your boyfriend was so far from asking you to marry him that you were pretty sure his friends didn’t know about you.

“Do you think that we’ll end up together? Like, in the end?” 

“What?”

“Do you want a future with me at all, Yun-jae?” He hated questions like this. Hated planning his future, except when it came to his work. You always gave him space, always respected this about him. But in doing so, you respected yourself very little.

It had taken you some time to realize that after years of dating somebody, it wasn't pushy or needy to ask questions like this. That it was one thing to give your partner space and another to forget yourself. It still required a lot of courage on your part when you asked him, though.

“Yeah, maybe.” 

This was the end of the end. This is what Yun-jae had to say about your future together. This was three years, four months, one week, and three days into the relationship. 

You loved him. A lot. 

But maybe just wasn’t enough.

You moved with your parents to Mulchi-ri the night before your 9th birthday. You were not pleased with moving, but not too disappointed either—you would miss your grandparents, but had very few close friends at school, and your mother had promised many outings to the beach in your new town. You were an adequate child, got good grades in school, and did most of your chores without complaints. Not the best at anything, not the worst either. Adequate. Average. A good kid.

The town was within driving distance to Sokcho, which you'd heard a lot about, and was excited to visit someday.

The day after you moved was your 9th birthday. All day, you and your parents were busy unpacking your belongings and turning the house into a home. Not the best party for a kid, but you were promised dinner out at a restaurant. And, your parents specifically spent all afternoon helping you set up your cute little bedroom, bought you a new set of sheets, all of that. 

It was a little late when you headed out for dinner, but you weren’t starving due to the ungodly amount of snacks your parents fed you all day. Growing up, you realized that they probably felt bad about the moving occurring so close to your birthday, but you never resented them for any of it. You only have good memories of this time of your life. 

It was a very, very small town. Again, it was in the Sokcho area, and Sokcho was where all the action was at. A lot of people who lived there worked in Sokcho, especially during the busiest tourist seasons. But your birthday is in winter, and, it turns out, that in a town as small as this one, restaurants closed in the coldest months for a lack of clients.

Your father offered to drive you all to Sokcho for a proper dinner, but your mother pointed out how late it was already. You were promised more snacks at home, and a trip to Sokcho that weekend for a proper restaurant dinner. You were disappointed but understood the situation. Your mother often told you that you were wise beyond your years.

A man had overheard the conversation, which had taken place on the main road. He was just coming out of the small grocery store, holding bags full of food. He introduced himself as the owner of the town’s pub. You were only 9, but he seemed nice to you, kind. He had a soft smile that revealed dimples, and you liked the way he formed his sentences. 

He said that, per se, the bar didn’t really serve full meals—they served snacks and such things—but, for a little girl like you, he would make an exception, and his wife was already cooking dinner as he was speaking! It was winter, and there were a few local patrons, so a large part of his establishment wasn’t currently in use, and he would love to host you for dinner, on this very night. 

“My wife’s tteokbokki is the best in town,” he said with a wink. “It’s also the only one in town at the moment, so you folks just gotta take my word for it.” 

He seemed kind, truly. He reminded you of the nice teacher you had last year, how she had defended you against mean, older students. Kind people like that all had something special in their eyes. But you were only 9 years old, so you didn’t really know. In any case, the man said his prices were good, and insisted that it would be lovely for you to meet his kids, as you would attend their school. You could play with them tonight and meet them at school next week when you would start going there. Your family got back in the car and followed this man to his pub.

The tteokbokki was the best tteokbokki you ever had. You thought this in your little 9 year old brain but you still think so to this day. Your dad got along immediately with the nice man with the dimples. They talked about all sorts of dad things, sports, food, grown-up things like money and politics. They drank grown-up alcohol, too. Your mother overheard a toddler and went to help out the man’s wife with this—she was now holding the baby in one arm and placing clean dishes in the kitchen with the other. 

The nice man had said he had kids. Plural. This baby, to you, was very cute but a little boring—you couldn’t play with babies, after all. You could just kiss their little foreheads and shake their favorite toys in front of their eyes, but that was it. Not what you had hoped for your birthday. 

You were left alone in this area of the bar. You avoided the main room, as this was where other grown-ups went to drink, and you didn’t really care for that anyway. But there was a TV in the room you were in, and the man’s wife had given you a coloring book and markers. They were her daughter’s, but unfortunately, she was feeling a little ill tonight and couldn’t join you. However, she had invited her son to have some birthday cake with you, if that was okay with you, of course? She was just as kind as her husband. You were just glad to have someone your age to chat with and even happier about the cake.

Enter the boy in question. The nice man and the nice woman’s son. He was holding two big glasses of milk in his small hands, followed by his mother who placed two huge slices of cake on the table where you were sitting. Yours had a lit candle on it, but she had to run back quickly into the kitchen when her husband called her there. 

The son looked at you and offered you a large grin. He had dimples, just like his dad. He didn’t even introduce himself before beginning to sing Happy Birthday to you with a steady, pleasant voice, then urging you to make a wish and blow the candle, as if his own life depended on it. You remember thinking that this boy was just as kind as his parents were. 

You had done just so. The wish. It was a really dumb wish, too. But you had learned to keep your expectations low, even at the pure age of nine years old. You had wished for a bicycle. Then, just before blowing the candle, you had added a little addendum to your wish. You were tired of playing alone. You were tired of being average, nothing else. You were nine years old, but you were already tired of those things. So you asked your birthday cake to make this boy become your friend so that you wouldn't ride your bicycle alone. 

You didn’t know if this would ruin the whole wish thing. You were pretty sure you were supposed to ask for one thing at a time… but what’s the fun of a bicycle if you’ll just be on your own all the time?

“I love birthdays,” the boy had said as you removed the candle that you had just put out. He flashed his dimples with a smile so large that his eyes squinted, that his face seemed too small to hold it all. “I’m Chan, what’s your name? Can we be friends, please?” 

This was the beginning of everything, you just didn’t know it yet.

Chan was the first boy you kissed as in, a real kiss. But come to think of it, he was also probably the first boy you gave a quick peck to—most likely forced to do so by your mothers for some occasion, a birthday, Christmas, anything. 

That first real kiss happened in your bedroom when you were both 12 years old. You had a crush on this new boy at school—he was very tall and handsome, and so cool. You were sitting on your bed, painting your nails black. You knew your mother wouldn’t appreciate that color, that it wouldn’t be feminine enough for her, but you had wanted something bold to impress Lee Minho, this boy, your first real crush. 

You had never kissed anyone before, like on the lips and all really, but Minho had invited you—and other people—to his house to watch a movie and have dinner. It was his way to make new friends, and you thought that his parents must have been really cool and laid-back if they were allowing him to do something like that. This didn’t sound like a little kid's party! At all!

In dramas, people kissed at parties. So what if Lee Minho wanted to kiss you that night? You had no damn idea how to do that, at all. You had tried practicing on your hand, your arm, but you had no feedback on your actual performance. Minho would never fall in love with you if you couldn’t kiss him properly.

Enter Chan, your best friend. He might have been a boy but this friendship was all you’d known, so you told him about Lee Minho, his cute eyes, how tall he was, and how afraid you were of kissing him. You did so while painting Chan’s nails black, too. He said he didn’t really like the other colors you had, but he liked the black. If his parents really hated it, he’d just take it off at home. 

“Minho? Really, Skittles? Isn’t he a bit of a jerk?” 

This is what Chan had told you when you had confessed to the kissing problem, due to the crushing on Minho problem. Already at the age of 12, there was a whole backstory for the nickname that Chan gave you. Skittles. Already at the age of 12, you were burdened with the weight to perform, to a man, as a woman.

“No, he’s not a jerk. That’s just the attitude he has because he’s new. He wants to look tough to be respected,” you told Chan, applying the last of his second layer of black nail polish. 

It was quick-dry nail polish, so it didn’t take long before he sat comfortably on your bed again, leaning against the wall. 

“Have you tried practicing?” Chan asked, raising an eyebrow. 

You showed him, quickly, how you had attempted to make out with your hand but it wasn’t the same as the real thing, you just knew it. Chan watched you carefully, nodding. 

“I never kissed anyone either,” he admitted. “But we can practice if you want. If you really love this Minho guy. I still think he’s a jerk.”

You kissed Chan several times that afternoon, in your bedroom, on your bed. The more you did it, the better it became. After a while, when you decided to stop, the both of you were masters at making out, but your lips were pink and raw, and your mouths were dry. It was really nice to kiss Chan, and he held your face really softly as he parted your lips with his, learning how to do so slowly. His hands smelled like quick-dry nail polish. Still, to this day, when you get your nails done, you think of that day.

It was really nice to kiss Chan. 

You did not kiss Lee Minho at this party. He spent most of his time with the other boys, listening to music. You ate cubed watermelon with a handful of people while Minho became friends with Chan.

All that practicing for nothing. Unless, of course, it was Chan that Minho wanted to kiss. Then, you knew he would have a good time. Because you had really enjoyed kissing Chan. 

When Chan turned 13, he picked up a guitar and became Chan the Cool guy. He dressed in black a lot, wore band t-shirts, and you still regularly painted his nails black, although he was getting better at doing it himself. A lot of girls had a crush on him.

You enjoyed listening to music, but creating it just wasn’t for you, so you didn’t hang out with him as often as you used to. You picked up other hobbies—you played video games, read a lot of books, and went on bicycle rides. 

At 14, you decided you wanted to translate languages. Chan decided he wanted to be a music producer. This is when he met Changbin and Jisung, and the three formed an inseparable trio. Minho was interested in music, but not as much. He hung out with them sometimes, but not always. Sometimes, he would hang out with you. 

At the age of 16, Minho invites you to yet another party. Definitely not a kids’ party, this time, as his parents would be out of town. There would be no cubed watermelon there, but there would be beer, promised by Changbin who had convinced his older brother to purchase some for the group. Chan was obviously invited as well, and despite him being a model student, he assured he would sneak out a bottle of liquor from his father’s bar. This conversation took place during recess on the very day of the party. 

“You should bring some of the girls that seem to follow you everywhere.” 

This is what Minho had told Chan. Chan seemed rather oblivious to his little group of admirers, while you were very much aware of it. What you knew, also, was that these poor girls didn’t stand much of a chance, as all that Chan seemed to be interested in was his studies and music. 

“You’ll be there, right?” 

This is what Minho asked you specifically, and you blushed when he did so. You said you’d be there. Later that day, after school, you were walking home with Chan to go get ready for the party in question. 

“Do you think he’ll want to… you know. Sleep with me? Minho?” 

This is what you asked Chan once the both of you were standing in front of your house. Chan looked at you, brows furrowed. 

“Maybe, yeah? Probably. You’re a girl, Skittles, and you’re pretty.” 

“I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how to do any of it. Do you think he knows how? Do you think he’ll mind if I have no idea what to do?”

A deep sigh from Chan. “Not gonna offer to practice this time, am I?” He laughed at this, and so did you, although you blushed harder than you had when Minho asked you to come to his party. “It’s not like I have any experience anyway…”

You were at an age where you and Chan were still best friends, but the fact that he was a boy and you a girl had limited some of the conversations you had. The fact that he was still a virgin at that point was a big surprise to you—he really did have at least three or four girls following him around everywhere. 

Well, except when he was hanging out with you.

“Really?” you shook your head. “But what about all of these girls?” 

Chan shrugged. “I don't know, Skittles.” 

You went to the party. It was a big party. It turned out, you hated the taste of beer. Hard liquor was not as bad, but you needed to dilute it in a lot of lemonade to make it at least okay. Still, this was the first time you drank, and you liked it. You were wearing your nicest dress. As well as your nicest underwear and a matching bra. 

You stepped outside of the house to breathe some fresh air, but it was the end of spring and the air was a little warm. You heard the moans before you saw anything, but then, you, unfortunately, partially witnessed Chan’s loss of his virginity, with one of the girls that followed him everywhere. Just there, behind the fence, near the woods, her sitting on a picnic table, him standing in between her legs, pants around his ankles.

Outside, just like that. Not romantic at all. At that age, you still believed in that, romance, and you thought that someone’s first time having sex ought to be romantic, somehow. Chan, to this day, has no idea that you saw him. This is something you never told him. You barely saw anything, just recognized his voice. Recognized the way he was holding the girl’s face when he kissed her.

You had liked it, kissing him. You did not have sex with Minho that night. 

That summer, Chan moved away. 

He, Changbin, and Jisung were approached by a music label after they found their demos online. They were offered to move to Seoul to pursue music production as well as finish their studies, with all expenses paid by the label. This was a huge opportunity. Life-changing, really. You were so happy for them, for Chan especially.

By then, he was able to apply his own nail polish. But you missed holding his hand inside of yours and painting his nails for him. You missed sitting under the heart-shaped tree in the park with him, and talking all night or not talking at all. You missed his voice from when he sang songs to you. You missed his smell from when he hugged you. But you were happy for him. When he got the news that he had been scouted by a label, this was the happiest you had ever seen him. 

You finished high school. The group of friends was a lot smaller without 3racha, but a lot quieter, too. Too quiet. 

Your parents told you that they would be moving to Seoul, for your dad’s work again. At first, you were really sad. Then, you realized that Chan, Changbin, and Jisung were currently in Seoul and that you would see them again—which was much better than occasional phone calls. They were really busy with their schedules and all, but you were hoping to see them sometime. 

After graduation, you and Minho ended up at his house. He stole some liquor from his parents. You didn’t have any lemonade to dilute it, but you drank it anyway. You had sex with him that night. It was your first time. It wasn’t particularly romantic, and he didn’t really hold your face when he kissed you. He just kissed you, and then it just happened. But it was okay. 

You moved out the week after.

You did not see Chan in Seoul. He was too busy. Later, you were busy with college. You spoke a few languages by then and enjoyed school. You still enjoyed books, video games, and bicycle rides, too. 

You were not good at keeping in touch. But at some point, you ran into Jisung at a concert. He recognized you immediately but you, not so much. He seemed so grown up, so handsome. But it really was him. 

You guys went for drinks after the concert, and this is how you learned that Chan had returned to Mulchi-ri not that long ago, after his mother’s passing, to help his father with the bar, the business, and all. Jisung told you that he was still working with them, just not in the studio. They would often spend all night on the phone, making samples, doing sound mixing, all of it. But it was really important for Chan to be home this year.

Jisung said that Chan would return to Seoul next year and be with them. 

That night, you wondered if Chan had been hoping to find you there when he returned to the small coastal town that had seen you grow up. That night, you remembered the way he held your face when he kissed you, his hands warm, his nails painted black, the chemical smell of the nail polish in your nose.

That night, at this bar, the drinks with Jisung, was when you met Yun-jae. This was the beginning of the end. From then on, he took all of the space within your soul, but you loved him, you loved him so much. It made you blind to everything else. But you chose him. 

“Mom, I’m moving into the house.” This is what you told your mother after crying for a whole night, after you had realized that Yun-jae had never wanted a future with you. He had never wanted it enough, anyway. “Just me. I’m leaving in two weeks.”

This was the beginning of everything. 

The house is just the same as you remember it. It still feels like home. The couple occupying it made some slight changes, but they kept it in great condition. You take the same bedroom as you did when you were a child, leaving the master’s bedroom to be your office, as you will be working from home. It just feels right to do so. 

Mulchi-ri is just the same as you remember it. The saline smell, the sea breeze, the feeling of its paved sidewalks under your feet. The houses, the color of the sky.

It’s winter. It’s just one day before your birthday, although you’d rather not think about the specific numbers, lately. You’ve lost a lot of time planning a future that was doomed from the start. But tomorrow is your birthday, and, for old time’s sake, you head over to Bang’s—the very bar that served you tteokbokki on your 9th birthday. 

You hadn’t passed on that street on your way into town, and you’re speechless as you park your car in the lot behind it. It’s definitely Bang’s, as there is a large colorful neon sign in the front window with the name on it, but it looks entirely different. You don’t know much about the place these days. All you know is, that it isn’t Chan’s father who currently owns it. You heard that from Jisung the last time you guys texted. That he wanted to sell the bar. 

You appreciate the fact that the new owners kept the name. It feels right. It feels meaningful.

You do wonder how he’s doing. Chan. You’ve never been really good at staying in touch with people, but you want to get better at it. You might try to get in touch with him… but it sounds rude to do so when he’s been in Seoul, and you were too and didn’t contact him at all then. As if you specifically tried to put distance between you two. Really, you didn’t try anything. The distance just happened. You’ve never been really good at staying in touch.

You don’t stay in touch with anyone, really. Not even Jisung. Yun-jae took up so much space in your life.

And you so little in his. 

The interior of the bar is even more different than it looked on the outside. It’s been renovated into something a lot more modern, but no less cozy. There’s actual good music playing at low volume in the background, and the decoration is cool and tasteful. There are movie posters on the wall, music album covers, decent artwork…

Chan would love what they did with the place, you tell yourself, making your way to the black counter, taking a seat there. You’d like to chat with the owners, and compliment them on their work. 

There are a few patrons in the establishment, more than you expected. But then, everything closes in winter. Everything, except Bang’s. You grab a small menu leaflet, trying to see if they still serve any kind of food. You’re surprised to see that on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, they serve tteokbokki. You’re even more surprised that it has Chan’s mother’s name next to it—it’s her specific recipe. That woman was always so, so kind to you. This whole family was like a never-ending source of generosity. You always felt welcome in their home. 

Nostalgia gets the best of you, and you swallow back your tears as an employee approaches you from the other side of the counter to take your order. 

“Welcome to Bang’s,” the young man tells you, flashing a smile at you. He’s very handsome, but a bit young—you wonder if he is the owner, but you doubt it. “How can I help you?”

“Hi,” you smile back. You’ve been trying to smile more. But sometimes you still cry at night, when you think of the future you’ll never have, but were never destined to have anyway. “I’m starving. Isn’t there some leftover tteokbokki? Haven’t had Mrs. Bang’s tteokbokki in years.” 

“It’s only served on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays,” the employee tells you. He’s polite, courteous, even, but it’s obvious that he’s annoyed at your question. “It’s Thursday, miss.” 

He has a name tag, which you read as you gather your thoughts. You would do low, low things for Mrs. Bang’s tteokbokki. May she rest in peace. This woman had some of the best cooking you ever tasted. 

“Seungmin, right?” You smile at him again, but a different kind of smile—the kind of smile you used when you really wanted to pick up guys in college or have them pay for your drinks. Before Yun-jae. “Listen, there’s no way there are no leftovers. I’ll literally pay you money if you can reheat me some of that tteokbokki.” You lick your bottom lip before adding, “tomorrow is my birthday, too.”

“The food does cost money. All year.” Seungmin points out with a stiff nod. You decide that this dude is a bit crazy somehow, but you don’t hate it. For some reason. “That’s how it works. So, what will you have, except the tteokbokki?”

With a frustrated groan, you decide to order a simple serving of noodles, with soju. It’ll do. It’ll have to do.

“Happy birthday,” a voice behind you says. You twist your neck and find yourself facing two also very attractive dudes, both of them holding beers. Without any hesitation—or permission to do so—they sit on either side of you, sandwiching you between them both. “Don’t mind Seungming’s manners. He’s a bit cold on the outside, but he can be nice.” 

“When he feels like it,” the other guy adds, raising his beer at his own statement. “Which is not very often.”

“Amen to that, brother.” The two guys lean over you to clink their bottles together. It’s almost as if you weren’t there at all. 

The one to your left, the one who wished you a happy birthday, has his bleached hair in a trendy haircut. He has freckles and a sweet, pleasant smile. The other one looks a bit more dangerous, but he’s also, and you’re pretty sure of it, probably like the best-looking person you’ve ever fucking seen. He has muted pink, chin-length hair, and he isn’t really smiling, but his looks are captivating. 

“Happy birthday,” this one tells you also. “We can’t just let such a lovely girl like you spend your birthday alone, can we? Or would you rather we leave you alone?”

Seungmin is back with your soju and a glass to drink it, but he rolls his eyes when he sees the two men flanking you.

“Dear god, don’t make me get the boss again, he’s real tired and real busy,” he tells the two of them. “This isn’t a dating app. Go pick up girls somewhere else.”

“We’re clients!” the pink-haired one exclaims, shaking his almost-empty bottle. “Bring us some soju too, will you, Seungmin? We’ll make sure this one has a good birthday.” 

“Fuck you, Hwang.” But Seungmin spins and walks away, fumbling in a fridge to gather more soju and more glasses. 

“Love you too, sweetie,” the pink-haired Hwang boy says, sticking out his tongue. He’s the one Seungmin gives the soju to, and takes care of pouring some shots for everybody.

“I’m Felix, by the way,” Freckles tells you, dipping his head a little, politely. He’s pretty. He has interesting facial traits, and he seems nice. Like, genuinely nice. There’s something in his eyes that tells you so. “That’s Hyunjin. We overheard you say you’d had the tteokbokki before? You from around here?”

You’re not sure what to answer. First off, these two dudes are complete strangers to you. But also, you’re not sure you want to get into the details of your whole life, how you’re not from around here as you were born in Busan, but you’re also from around here because this is where most of your childhood memories are from… This is too damn complicated for the current mood, and for how little of a shit you give.

“I’ve been here before,” you say evasively with a shrug. 

“Oh, we got ourselves a mysterious one, Felix,” Hyunjin says, sliding the shot glass over to his friend. In doing so, he leans so close to you that his chest touches your arm, and his hair brushes against your lips. He smells nice. A little floral, but something deeper, too, more masculine. “She’s been here before, you see.”

“I do wonder why,” Felix adds. “This is a small town, after all.”

Yes. It is a small town, and you’ve never seen people like these guys in this town before. Colorful hair, fashionable clothes, and this powerful atmosphere around them… If they think you’re mysterious, they’re wrong. Tonight, they are the riddle, not you. 

“What are your guys’ deal, anyway?” you ask, as the warm noodles are brought to you. You inhale the smell. Tantalizing. Fuck, you’re starving. You waste no time diving in. The broth has a familiar taste, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is. Maybe you’re just too hungry to care.

“Why should we tell you everything if we don’t even know your name?” Felix asks, but his intonation is soft and humorous. You decide that you like him. “I’m a songwriter. Hyunjin is a graphic designer.”

“... I still have no clue what the fuck you guys are doing here,” you insist, taking a break from the noodles to ponder over that. “Why is a songwriter here? Why is an artist here? This shithole?”

“Why are you in this shithole, doll?” Hyunjin asks you. There is nothing soft or humorous in his voice. He gives you some time to think it over, but really, you’re just too troubled by the way he’s staring at you a nd by how straight-up hot it was when he called you doll to have any thoughts going in your brain. “Yeah, thought so,” he adds, leaning back into his seat. “We all have shit to run away from, don’t we?” 

You let that sink in. For the first time since the breakup, you actually try to think about Yun-jae instead of avoiding it. How, when one of your acquaintances had heard you were moving, had asked you out for coffee, and you had told her about the breakup. You didn’t know her all that much, but enough to tell her that it wasn’t a satisfying relationship, but you had kept it going for so long in the hopes it would get better. 

And, you did love him, Yun-jae. You loved him enough to work on it, to try and become someone he would actually want to be with. You had tried, so much, so hard, for so long. Long enough to forget who you were before all of this, who you could be.

Your acquaintance had listened to you. She was nice. It was too late now, but you regret not ever getting to know her better before leaving.

“You need a rebound.” This is what she had told you to ease your mind. “I did it after my ex dumped me… it’s not elegant. You won’t even like it. But it’s like, necessary.”

“A rebound? But I really don’t feel like—”

“No, that’s the point.” Your mug of coffee had been empty for a while, but you listened closely. “As I said. You won’t enjoy it. But you have to go through that. Find some guy, any guy, that you think is somewhat attractive. Fuck him. Love, sex, it’s muscle memory. You have to unlearn that shit. You have to find a rebound.” 

Anyone would do, she had said. 

You push away your half-finished bowl of noodles, suddenly not so hungry anymore. You try to remember the night Yun-jae had mentioned opening up the relationship. But you can’t. You don’t want to think about him. Your heart is begging you to please, please stop thinking about him. 

He did not want to come here. He could have. You could have spent some time turning the house into a home together. Instead, you will do this alone. Because you are not enough for him, and because maybe isn’t enough for you.

Instead, you are in this bar tonight, and you are sitting with two very interesting strangers.

Hyunjin’s cologne is still haunting your nostrils. 

“Hyun, you always ruin the mood, man,” Felix sighs, but he’s smiling. 

“Sorry I just don’t do bullshit,” Hyunjin says but he doesn’t sound sorry. “You like liquor, doll? How about I order a round of shots of something a little stronger, and we can chat a bit, to make sure you’re not so lonely for your birthday?”

“Yeah, okay.” You don’t smile, but your heart feels lighter. 

So you drink the shots. And then, another round, on Felix, this time. You chase the american whiskey with soju. Seungmin pays very little attention to the three of you, and the bar slowly gets empty. You keep chatting. Felix found an app on his phone with random questions to ask people, and he set the difficulty to “nosy AF”, meaning that some of the questions are rather raunchy.

But you’ve had enough of pretending. Pretending to your mother that the really nice necklace you were wearing was a gift from Yun-jae, when, in fact, you had bought it yourself. Pretending to your coworkers that he had definitely bought you a really nice bouquet of flowers for Valentine’s Day. Pretending to your relatives that you were going to get engaged soon, but the timing just wasn’t that good for the moment! But! Yes! Of course! Yun-jae loved you so much! And he really! REALLY! wanted to be with you! 

God. Years of this bullshit. Really, you’re an idiot.

You should have dumped him earlier. Or maybe you’re just drunk, and the sober version of you would hate you right now. 

It’s 12:04 when Hyunjin’s arm wraps itself around your shoulders. He does it super casually, as he’s leaning in closer to your phone, on which you’re showing pictures of the interior of the house your mother bought for you. You tell them what you’d like to do with some of the rooms, that you had planned on buying paint the very next day and get started. 

Goosebumps creep from the place where Hyunjin’s arm comes in contact with you, all the way to your fingertips. You suppress a shiver. From so close, the smell of his cologne makes you drunker than the liquor you've been drinking.

“Well, maybe you won’t get started tomorrow, after all,” Felix points out. “I bet we’ll all be pretty fucked up.” He motions towards the empty bottles around you. “Oops.”

“It’s for my birthday, Chickie-lixie,” you tell him, gently patting him on the face. You knew from a question from the app that Chickie-lixie is what his least favorite aunt used to call him. So now, naturally, you call him like that any chance you get. “It’s okay.”

“Hit me up with another question or else I might fall asleep,” Hyunjin tells Felix as you put your phone away after checking the time on the screen. You feel Hyunjin’s breath somewhere in your neck, and the weight of his arm around your shoulder. 

Muscle memory. Except you have very little of this sort of memory from your previous relationship, as Yun-jae did not like physical contact very much. Or kissing. Or eating you out, or anything fun. You loved him, but you were a fool. 

Felix swipes the screen of his phone while you pour more shots for the three of you. Hyunjin is tracing circles, softly, on your upper arm, his big hand warm even through the fabric of your shirt. 

You always thought rebounds were stupid. And, according to your acquaintance, you wouldn’t even like it. But if you were going to have a rebound, you’d hope it was with someone as crazy, weird, and hot as the guy with the pink hair that has now been feeling you up for the past several hours.

“Oh, this one is something,” Felix says, giggling. He turns to Hyunjin. “Favorite sex position?” 

This was not the first question of the sort to come out tonight. In fact, you knew a little too much about these two strangers now. You knew that Felix had once masturbated 14 times in the same day—causing himself some serious chafing issues. Serious. As in, having to go to the doctor serious. Hyunjin had lost his virginity to two girls, or so he claimed. 

He had also described in detail his top three porn videos, the ones that had caused his biggest loads when on his own. He had a separate category of top 3 loads for when he wasn't alone. 

You knew that Felix liked to watch other people have sex without partaking—the pressure to perform was too much for him, so he liked to just sit and watch, and touch and kiss, if given the occasion. He got off otherwise, without the pressure. 

You told them about some stuff, too. Without naming names, of course, as some of these stories happened in this very town… You even told them about the breakup, about some of your sex life…

And now Hyunjin’s arm is around you, and his fingers are touching you, and you can smell him, feel his breath on your skin, and you think you might want to have a rebound, after all. You’re drunk. 

“Hard to choose just one,” Hyunjin says after a while of thinking about it. “Love to fuck when I’m standing up and she’s on a table or something.” His tongue grazes over his bottom lip as his eyes move from Felix, to the empty room, to you. Then, they stay on you. “I can fuck deep like that, just the right angle. You know?”

You nod, warmth spreading on your face. And maybe a little in between your legs, too. You realize that despite having been in a long-term relationship, you have very little experience when it comes to sex. You’ve learned to get yourself off like a pro because it turned out Yun-jae wasn’t the most skilled at that. 

You’ve never had sex while on a table and with a guy standing in front of you. You’ve seen plenty of porn like that, though. You’ve seen it happen in the backyard behind Minho’s parents’ house, forever ago.

“What about you, Felix? I mean—I personally know the answer, but I’m sure our new friend would like to know,” Hyunjin remarks, then, his eyes still on yours but also sometimes on your mouth, and he adds, “he likes to be fucked hard, girl on top, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.” 

You nod, again, and decide to look away to drink another shot. But really, you shouldn’t drink anymore. Still, you drink it. 

“And what about you, doll?” Hyunjin asks, accepting the shot from you and drinking it, leaving his pink lips glistening with soju. “Do you like to fuck hard?” 

“Think so,” you say. “Doggy’s good. You know?”

“So fucking good,” Hyunjin sighs, his eyelids fluttering a little. He’s the hottest dude you’ve ever fucking seen. “What if he pulls your hair a little? Still good?”

“So fucking good,” you admit, biting your lip. 

This is when Seungmin interrupts the conversation. You’re actually glad he does so, because there is definitely heat pooling in your gut, and your skin feels tingly all over. You haven’t felt this turned on in a long time, which is quite telling of the poor state of your sex life. 

“Felix, the boss wants to see you upstairs,” Seungmin says. “If you can now?”

“Sure, I’ll go say hi!” Felix pushes himself out of his seat, almost falls over, but ultimately manages to stand straight and make his way towards the staircase behind the counter. You keep an eye on him, hoping not to see him fall down the stairs in a minute. “See you guys!” you hear from the staircase, though.

Hyunjin’s arm retreats from around your shoulder, and he sprawls into his chair, the manspreading making his thigh brush against yours.

“So, are we going to do this or not?” Hyunjin is still staring at you, and you can’t look away from him. “I like to think I make a pretty good rebound.” 

Well. Talk about zero to a hundred… 

“But I didn’t say I wanted a reb—”

“Shh, shh, doll.” He shakes his head. “You haven’t said shit, but I know. It’s actually obvious. Post-breakup, traveling through a new town that you may or may not have seen before…” 

You look away from him, staring at the counter in front of you to gather your thoughts. If you have sex with this guy, you will definitely regret it. Apparently, though, it’s the whole point of a rebound. 

You’re kind of drunk, sure. But maybe, just maybe, this is the occasion to actually get fucked properly for once in your life. 

You hear Hyunjin shift on his seat, and his warmth envelops you again when he puts his arm on your shoulders once more—but this time, he also pulls you a little closer, and leans his face near your ear. 

“You know, you’re really pretty, and all this sex chitchat gave me a semi,” he whispers directly into your brain but it went straight between your legs. His voice is soft and lustful, and your breathing quickens up fast. This was a very blunt thing to say, but Hyunjin made it sound sexy. What kind of guy was that? “Feel me if you wanna, doll. Fuck, the things I’d do to you…” 

He moves his face even closer, so close that his lips brush just barely against the skin of your neck. You gulp, letting out a quiet whimper as his grip around your shoulders tightens up slightly. Hyunjin’s breath smells like liquor, and you like it. You’re not sure you’ll like how you feel after he’s done with you, though…

That’s the whole point, apparently. To not like it. Except that so far, it doesn’t feel so bad.

Some things feel like beginnings, others like endings. But this, this stranger, this boy with the pink hair, the pretty mouth, it feels like neither a start nor an end. It just feels nice. 

Your hand leaves your side to glide onto his knee, then his thigh. Hyunjin lets out a delighted sigh under your touch, and presses his mouth against your neck, but just for a few seconds.

“Thought, so, doll,” he murmurs, his other hand now on your inner thigh. “Wanna feel me, huh?” 

You don’t say anything. You close your eyes and move your hand onto his crotch, cupping it gently, and you immediately feel his cock already mostly hard. He wasn’t lying. A tingling fills your whole body, but you lean back against the chair, spreading your own legs a little. 

“Fuck, really?” Hyunjin chuckles against your ear and it tickles you. He’s massaging your inner thigh, making his way at a painfully slow pace towards your core. “Wanna know what I wanna do to you, doll?” 

“Yes,” you manage, your hand palming him up, his erection forming fully under your touch. “You’re hard already…”

“Leaking, doll. Leaking…” Hyunjin puts his lips on the spot of your neck where it meets your ear, sucking in hard. Hard enough to leave a bruise. You listen to it, to the sound of his mouth, his spit, as he’s suckling you. It’s fucking hot. No one ever really did this to you before. When his teeth meet with your skin, you moan in earnest, a soft moan that makes Hyunjin’s hips buck, makes his mouth pull away from you. “Shit, you sound cute when you moan… I wanna hear more of that.”

That’s when his hand leaves your thigh and he presses it hard between your legs. You blush, not just because it feels so fucking good even through your panties and your pants, but because you can tell that he feels you through the fabric—you’re soaked wet. It feels warm, sticky. It's uncomfortable but it's dirty and you think you like this.

“Fuck,” you sigh when Hyunjin’s fingers trace circles on the fabric of your pants. “Yes, yes, yes…” 

Some part of your brain knows that the bar is empty, but not empty empty. Somewhere on the floor above, there is Felix, Seungmin, and the boss, whoever that is. But some, bigger part of your brain, fucking loves how Hyunjin smells, how it feels right now between your legs.

You haven’t felt this desired in so long. Maybe ever. 

“This is what I wanna do to you, doll…” Hyunjin kisses your neck, his fingers pushing hard against the seam of your pants, pressing it directly against your clit. It looks like he knows what he’s doing. You’re not the first he does this, specifically this, with. But it’s okay. “Take you somewhere, see how well you take my cock… you feel it, don’t you? Think you could take it in your pretty mouth?” 

You take an instant to inhale deeply and exhale in a slow sigh. Now is the time for your brain to stop thinking altogether. Now is the time for your brain to just let you live in peace. 

You close your hand around Hyunjin’s crotch, giving it a soft squeeze, feeling his cock under your hand. Shit, he does seem big… that thought makes you dizzy. Like you need him inside you right now. This stranger with the good hair. You need to make this mistake and regret it in the morning. You need him to fuck your brains out. 

“You want it in my mouth, handsome?” you purr back at him, twisting your neck to look at him. You’re both entangled together in your seats, as close as this seating arrangement will let you. “That really all?”

“Fuck…” Hyunjin bucks his hips when you start rubbing him through his pants. He lets his head fall on your shoulder. “I wanna make you see stars, doll. Stars.” 

Hyunjin gets a grip on himself and goes back to rubbing your clit through the seam of your pants. Like him, you help the motion by rolling your hips just a little. You’re either drunk or touch-starved, but you feel like you could cum any minute. Maybe it’s Hyunjin’s cologne, maybe it’s his mouth on your neck. 

The hand he had on your shoulder moves onto your face. “Can I kiss you?” he asks you, his mouth almost touching yours already. 

“You’re rubbing my clit and asking if you can kiss me?” you ask, giving his cock a stronger squeeze. You smile. 

It feels good to smile. He smiles too, faintly.

“I’m a gentleman,” Hyunjin responds, his rubbing becoming more insistent. You respond by spreading your legs furthermore. 

“I doubt that.” Another squeeze of his cock, and Hyunjin grunts before pulling you in for a kiss.

His mouth crashes onto yours. He tastes like liquor. He tastes like regret. He tastes like muscle memory fading away. His lips are plump, smoothly parting yours open, kissing you slowly. His tongue teases your lips, your teeth, threatening to invade your mouth soon without actually doing it. 

“You’re right,” Hyunjin admits, breaking the kiss. “Because I wanna take you somewhere and fuck you senseless, doll.”

You moan against his mouth, kissing him again. He kisses you back. It feels strange. It feels like you have to unlearn how to kiss Yun-jae. The mouth you are kissing tonight is sinful, drenched in liquor, the mouth you are kissing tonight is foreign. 

“Wish I could taste you…” Hyunjin sighs and it sounds lewd. “I bet you taste real good…” 

The hand between your thighs pulls away. It feels cool down there without Hyunjin’s incessant touches, and you moan, feeling hollow.

…but his hand is trailing up to the waistband of the soft, comfortable pair of leggings you threw on before coming here. He tugs on it, his fingers creeping in to feel the lace of your thong. 

“Hyunjin—” you breathe, seeking his mouth. You want to unlearn some more, you want to taste the alcohol on his tongue. 

“Yes, doll? Should I stop?” 

Someone could come in. Someone could see you. Hell, there might be cameras filming you. This is a small town. 

“Don’t stop,” you whisper. 

Hyunjin wastes no time invading you, his fingers skillfully going past the various layers of clothing to reach your core. When he brushes them against your folds, you slump into your seat, leaning on his chest. He’s wrapped all around you. He’s all that you feel, all that you remember. You don’t want to remember the past years. You just want this. 

“Wanna get off this bad, huh?” His voice is soft against your ear. “Okay, doll…” 

He parts you open with his hand, cupping your pussy, pressing his fingers everywhere—your clit, your soaked entrance… God, it’s good to feel him there, even if it makes you dizzy. Even if it makes you scared.

“Do you want this cock, doll?” Hyunjin thrusts his hips into your hand at that. He’s harder than ever, making your eyelids flutter. Making your pussy flutter, too. “Fuck, yes, you want it, don’t you… you have no idea how hard it is for me not to bend you over on this counter right now to fuck you…” 

Hyunjin slides one finger inside of you, then another immediately. You hear it. You hear the wet sound it makes, and you feel a throb in your gut. Something dangerous. He stretches you with his fingers, painfully slow to reach a deeper point, making sure to twirl and tease and tingle when what you want is to be fucked.

“So wet, fuck, doll… you need this… need my cock, don’t you? I’ll give it all to you… stretch you real good with it…” He makes sure to thrust into your hand a few times, to good measure. 

It makes you wonder what it would feel like if he fucked you from below. Or behind. Or literally any way he sees fit. 

Hyunjin retreats from your soaked pussy, leaving a few drops of your juices on your shirt, but he brings his fingers to his mouth. You watch, fascinated, as his raspberry-colored lips part open, as his tongue appears to come and taste you on his digits. He licks himself clean, savoring you, humming and sighing as he swallows your taste. 

“Fuck… shit, that tasted sweet, doll…”

Hyunjin kisses you, softly. It gives you time to breathe. It gives you time to experience your taste in his mouth, to squeeze and rub his cock harder. It’s a wet kiss, a sloppy kiss, but you revel in it. You are learning to kiss Hyunjin. 

“So fucking sweet, sweeter than candy,” he adds with a smirk, panting just a little as he’s rolling his hips to meet your hand. He’s rock hard. “Fuck, fuck…” 

“My nickname was Skittles back in the day, after all,” you murmur as a joke, chuckling at the memory, giving his cock another squeeze through his pants. 

Hyunjin chuckles with you, his hand already making its way back to where it was between your legs, but he freezes in the middle of it.

You hear it too—footsteps in the staircase. 

You pull away from Hyunjin as if your life depended on it. Shit, it kind of does. You sit back up, bringing your hands on your thighs. Hyunjin is adjusting his pants over his bulge, but he’s staring at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time.

“Skittles, you said?” His eyes dart from the door leading to the stairs, back to you, your mouth. “Skittles?” 

“What?” You look behind, reaching for your purse, ready to throw a handful of cash on the counter and get the hell out, hopefully with Hyunjin, to continue what you were doing. “Yeah, my friend gave me the nickname, but—”

“You’re the Skittles?” Hyunjin puts his hand over his mouth in proper shock, but to you, it just feels like you’ve been watching a movie and skipped a scene—you have no fucking clue what’s going on. “Oh my fucking god…” 

As if on cue, Felix appears at the bottom of the staircase. He’s with Seungmin, who removed his nametag and appears more relaxed than he was before but is talking with somebody behind him.

“You guys still there?” Felix says with a knowing smile. You wonder how obvious it all is. Your face must be flushed, your lips raw and pink, your hair all messed up. You wonder why Hyunjin called you ‘the Skittles’, as if you were famous. You wonder if a rebound really was a good idea after all.

Seungmin moves over to let the other person into the main room.

And it’s Chan. 

Like. It’s really him. Chan. Channie. Channie Boy. Bang Bang Chan. Your friend. The boy you met in this very building all this time ago.

He looks different. He looks the same. His hair is longer, bleached to a trendy color. His waves move with him as he energetically jumps off the two last steps of the stairs. He doesn’t see you right away, as he’s still listening to what Seungmin is telling him. 

He looks different. He looks the same. He’s taller, broader. He’s wearing black trousers and a white t-shirt. His smile is wide. His dimples are the same as they used to be. He still has the same calm and kind aura as he did. His squinting eyes. His captivating voice. The way he holds himself.

His black nail polish.

You’re left speechless, mouth agape, eyes round. You were certain that he was in Seoul, you certainly did not expect to run into him here. But, now that you’re thinking about it, you really shouldn’t be so surprised. 

“Huh, yeah, we were leaving though,” Hyunjin replies behind you, but his voice sounds distant. He’s replying to Felix, but you can’t even bring yourself to really think about it. To think about anything, really.

You’ve been thrown into a pool of ice-cold water, then in lava, then back in cold water. This is how it all feels, at least. You dig your fingers into your thighs. 

“Hey, you okay?” Felix asks you as he makes his way towards you and Hyunjin, but you cock your head to look behind him.

“Guess what, Felix.” Hyunjin’s voice is both amused and shocked, and you’re too embarrassed by what the two of you were doing to even look at him. “Our birthday girl here? That’s Skittles, man.” 

When Chan hears this word, the nickname that he gave you, his head turns in your direction immediately, and you don’t even hear Felix’s response to the big reveal.

It takes a few seconds for everything to register, but Chan’s expression turns to shock. 

“Skittles?”  

This simple thing, him, Chan, here, speaking out the nickname that he gave you all those years ago, moves you more than you would have expected. Tears well up in your eyes as you push yourself up, keeping yourself steady with the counter in front of you. You’ve had several drinks, after all, and a lot of your blood flow had been redirected between your legs for a while there… 

But you manage to stand, and you manage to walk past Felix, meeting Chan halfway as he’s hurrying towards you.

“Oh my god, it really is you.” Chan’s eyes are glistening with tears, too. 

“Channie,” you begin, but your voice is strangled and you swallow it back with your tears. 

You stare at each other for a few seconds as you try to relax your heartbeat. 

And then, in the same motion that was once so familiar to you—is still so familiar to you—Chan opens his arms and pulls you into a tight hug, his chin resting on your head, your arms around his chest. He’s bigger and it doesn’t feel quite the same. But it feels exactly the same. 

“I missed you so much, Skittles,” he says, his voice low. Only you can hear him. He smells good. He’s warm against you. “Welcome home.”