lane ఌ︎

it’s been almost a week of nothing, you don’t see her. you could say her and her, but it already confused you enough. it’s also been a week since you’ve seen jungkook. he just recently followed you on social media, you can now look at his profile without it being necessarily weird.

he would randomly text you randomly, asking what you were planning out for your next video, or asking where you post your podcasts on. today, jungkook asks for your phone number.

you give it to him without a thought, if you wanted to get to the bottom of your visions, and embarrassing realistic dreams, you should start with why it’s him. out of everyone, jungkook is in every single one. it even happens when he’s in front of you, and you have no control over it, like it’s a switch once he’s around you.

you spend most of your free day, pondering and putting piece to piece together, some didn’t fit but you thought of an idea. a silly one, but it could work.

the night you met jungkook last, where your whole world shifted, and a rather longer haired jungkook stared across the bar instead of the original huge mansion, it felt different.

once your friend left, you felt at ease. jungkooks eyes didn’t worry you, shake you up like they did before. you felt lighter, more confident with your words and what you were doing. he watched your every move, yet you still felt so comfortable. you had urges, jungkook was standing in front of you with a grin on his face that was only seen by you, and his stupid tie was crooked.

you could almost feel jungkook stiffen, watching your hands gently fixing and tucking his tie back in, your eyes fixed on his face once again and you couldn’t bring yourself to remove your hands off his chest.

one urge was his face, and with a hook of your fingers, you held his chin and angled him to face you completely. his mouth gaped open slightly, staring at your lips shaping into a smile. he blinks hard, and you let go quickly.

when jungkook locked eyes with you, with you holding his chin, he looked at you differently. almost like he’s never seen you before, and he couldn’t react or speak, just stared.

you wondered, but in the back of your head, you hoped to god it wasn’t the truth. was jungkook seeing you like you were seeing him? his eyes dilated with the lock of your eyes with his, his pupils almost shake after he blinks hard and opens his eyes once again. almost like he was in daze before he shut them, and the thought of jungkook sleeping just to see you in his dreams like you see him, makes you want to barf.

so you end your night early, hoping to get rid of the feeling of your stomach turning and your brain turning to mush. you fall asleep to your heart pounding loudly in your chest, echoing in your eyes as you sink deeper into your pillow.

—————

“a concussion this early into the season? you got to be careful lady,” with instinct, your eyes peal open. you sat in the passenger of an older ford model, the voice of your mother still ringing in your head. mom always sounded sweet but stern, soft enough to handle but strict enough to keep you in place. with every deep breath, her familiar scent fills and it’s all you can smell, and you wondered why you didn’t get so lucky to have her with you in your life.

“it just got spotted, mom, it’s almost two weeks old,” you lean your head against the cold window, letting your eyes close softly and embracing mom’s presence as much as you could, “that’s why i am completely okay!” she just rolls her eyes and almost smacks her lips, but they curve into a smile instead.

“i’ll be gone tonight, you just need to sleep and drink water,” she points her finger over at you, you stare at her finger tip before glancing towards her face, “i mean it, missy,” she tries to make a criticizing expression, but it only causes you to giggle a bit as she continues to hush you as you finally pull into your driveway.

“don’t answer the door! you hear me?” mom yells at the end of the staircase, your door cracked just enough to hear.

“what if someone nice wants to take me home?”

“______!”

“okay, okay,” you laugh out as she continues to say she’s serious, she won’t be gone for too long, you wait a moment before hollering, “i love you!”

“love you so much!”

you finally got the chance to learn more about, yourself? memories of being at practice rush in your head, not even two hours ago before you had to go to your doctor to get checked out for your head. with the door long gone slammed shut, the sound of the moms engine roaring heading farther away, you stand on your feet and look at every single crevice of your tiny room.

before you were able to reach your dresser, trying to see if you had a good style or not, with your hair already being too much, someone rings the buzzer. before you know it, you’re standing at your front door, reminiscing what your mother had just told you. you decide to glance in the peep hole instead of cracking the door.

you can feel your mouth go dry, your head just starts to hurt after you felt nothing but occasional headaches. jungkook was standing on your porch, a small bouquet of flowers are held between his hands, and he bites his lip in hope of you opening the door. you finally build up energy to unlock it, slowly turning the knob before pulling the door open in a normal speed. was it too fast, actually? jungkooks eyes get a little bigger once he sees you fully, like he wasn’t expecting you to answer it.

“how did you get my address?” it sounded like a good question in your head, but it comes out harsh and jungkook almost goes completely stiff. “you can come in, it’s just me,”

“i, uh, heard from jaeil that you got hurt, he may have gave me your address so i could stop worrying,”

“you worry about me, kook?” you watch him struggle to take his shoes off after the nickname, his tips of his ears barely poking out between his thick hair, but you can see the red clearly in them.

“um, these are for you,” he hands you the flowers with both hands, you keep your eyes on his face as he slightly bows to put them in your hands safely. you take initiative and find a vase for them immediately, filling it with water and worrying about cutting the ends later. you had him in your house, after months of teasing and giving him looks that makes his knees lock, you felt you had to be in a hurry.

“i’m actually supposed to be resting,” you leave him in your living room, he watches you continuing to walk further and further away and up the stairs, “kook?” he quickly tags behind you once he can no longer see you from where he stood patiently. you stand on the top of the stairs as he makes his way up, following you into your room once he reaches the top.

“okay,” you speak out in the silence, watching him search your room with his eyes, going from your closet door that was open to all the medals hung from your vanity dresser. with his back facing you, you confidently press closer to him, your hands reached his shoulders to turn him, forcing him to sit down as you stood before him. “lay down,”

“what? why- can i just sit?” your hands never leave his shoulders, they push on them and he accepts that he’s going to be laying down either if he does it or if you push him.

“i want to know that jeon jungkook has laid in my bed, now, lay,” he finally lays comfortably back, his back probably making your sheets warmer than where you laid. with your hands still on his shoulders, your body leaning over his, and he can’t help but to look away from your gaze, “don’t do that,”

“______, you can’t just-”

“but you let me. look at me, jungkook,” you almost crawl up on to the bed, letting your legs rest against his sides, trapping his legs between them and letting your hand leave his shoulder. you finally reach his face, making him face you with the gentle turn of your hand. “better,”

you watch his adam’s apple bulge out with a hard swallow. you can imagine it now, jungkooks arms resting above his head, letting you explore and finally experience him as whole. if you kissed him, would he kiss you back? with your hand keeping his face straight with yours, you can lean down with your chest almost pressing his. you watch his eyes flutter from your eyes to your lips, lips that curves into a cheesy smile, then you realized he would indeed press back.

you tilt his head with your gentle grip of his chin, letting your head fall the opposite direction to lean down even closer. you wanted to be as close as you could be possible to jungkook. with the press of your lips hitting his soft ones, you let yourself finally melt the tension, and jungkook kisses lovingly. you can feel him tensing up below you, letting your other hand slide up to his neck, it wraps just around the front and he kisses you harder with every touch.

your crotch rested on his, your pajamas rising ever so slightly with each press you do to get closer, you can feel him taking deep, and then short breaths as you continue to push against his lips and letting yours move along with his. the more you took from him, your hands expanded to different areas of his chest and upper body. but the harder you kissed, the more you felt the rising of his hard on below you.

you pull your hands away just ever so slightly, letting one slide between your bodies, and pulling away from him mouth. he almost leans in for more before letting his eyes flutter back open, you straighten up and lean your heals to get a better look. his lips were now plump, a slight shine covers them from your wet kisses, and he looked like he was in a daze.

“would you let me touch you down here?” and he almost whimpers, his head barely nodding into a yes before you cup his length in his pants, and you watch as he bites his bottom lip with anticipation of more. you would do anything to see him underneath you like this, with your hand slowly torturing his hard length, stroke after stroke of your hand.

you wake up wishing he would show up at your doorstep now, leaving enough confidence for you to act the way you did then. with your hand ripping the covers off of your legs, you can feel sweat underneath your knees and in your collar. you can also feel the dampness of your bottoms.

————-

“see? it’s nice to go out. you’re with your best friend, and his favorite person in the world, and the music is hype,” you could definitely feel the base of each song pounding against your chest.

“tae. i’m third wheeling,” it was sticky and hot in the bar, with people dancing all around you as taehyung dragged you and his girlfriend to the floor, “no offense,” you stick your hand out towards his girlfriend and she shakes her head in ‘no’ as in she was saying none was being taken.

“but, if you find someone, maybe you won’t be!” he sings out, and you want to punch his arm hard, but he wraps both arms around his girlfriend once you had the thought. “i see someone that has his interests in you, he’s practically glaring at the back of your head, he might want to buy you a drink,” he winks once he finishes, and you could use a drink by now.

with taehyungs annoying hand gesture shooing you away from the two of them, you let your feet take you to the bar to order something to get you going.

“what are you thinking of ordering? you wouldn’t like the beer here,”

“good thing i don’t drink beer,” you glance over to the voice who almost hollered over the commotion, and you surprised yourself for not recognizing his antagonistic voice. but did jungkook look good, he never looked bad whenever you see him. you can feel your knees lock as his face turns into a smirk once he gets a view of your full face.

“somehow,” he turns on his stool to face you completely, his legs spread just enough to make his pants tight around his thighs, “i had a feeling i would see you here, at a place like this,”

“yeah? why is that?”

“because you’re everywhere,” he leans in as he speaks, you can feel the whole room blur, and you can only hear him as he speaks. you’ve completed tuned everything and everybody out as he continues to speak. you can only see and hear jungkook, “you, you, and you,”

you in front of him, you in hockey gear, you in tight corsets and long dresses.

“jungkook-”

“please don’t tell me i’m crazy, you see her too?” your hands that rested on your lap no longer did, his hands cup yours and almost tug you towards him. you can feel your throat clogging up, and you can’t find any words to say to him besides..

“i see him too,”

with a beam of a smile, he raises off his chair and his hands never leaves the grip of yours, and you follow his lead as he takes you right out of the bar.

“my friend, i was with my friend and his girlfriend,” you hopelessly speak out, still letting him drag you out on the streets, but it was more so willingly. his hands were warm and holding yours tightly, but it didn’t hurt, it felt good to be held.

“he can see you later,” he doesn’t spare you a glance, like he’s been waiting for the both of you to put piece by piece together, and continues to lead you towards a cab, “i see you all the time, but i need more time,”

“when did you first start seeing these, uh, visions?” you can’t help but wander your eyes, taking in the full experience and picture of jeon jungkooks home. you’ve imagined it before, not the other jungkooks homes, but the actual jungkooks home.

were all the jungkooks still jungkook?

“it’s been awhile, i wanna say since your second k-drama you filmed in,” it was a little embarrassing to say, but you couldn’t help but feel it was more embarrassing that he was having visions and dreams of you as well. you can’t imagine how he feels, if he’s weirded out or uncomfortable, or if he’s just trying to get to the bottom of everything and then to never see you again.

“did you ever dream of me?”

“i still do,” you pause at his living room, noticing his dark color pattern he has going throughout his home so far, even his pillows were coordinated to the colors that filled each room. “the visions only happen when i’m near you,”

“it’s the same for me,” he pauses as he follows your tail and encourages you to sit on the couch with him as he sits, looking up before he speaks, “but it’s only been recently, this has been happening to you for years?”

“jungkook, you’re everywhere. i was just thinking my dreams were just delusions, like when you watch a movie and then star in it as you sleep that same night. except, you were always there and i couldn’t seem to stop them from happening. i also didn’t think you’d ever deal with the same things, so i didn’t want to stop them,”

“i don’t want them to stop either,” it was almost quiet, the way he spoke out, like he didn’t want you to catch it, even though the whole point of you being there was to help the both of you understand what has been happening.

“it could be more than just the dreams,” you finally sit down next to him, letting one of your legs rest underneath your body as you sit, “like we’ve been through these things already, it hurts my head everytime,”

“you mean, my dreams happened before?”

“i don’t know, but it feels natural.”

he stirs in silence, his lip tucked in as he thinks and thinks. you didn’t want to think that hard, your brain might pop if you continue.

“i had a dream,” he starts, his position shifts before he lets his body slide off the couch, onto his knees before he continues, “that you let me do what i want the most, and you’re telling me that it could of happened?”

“what do you want the most?” you swallow nothing as his hands slide up your knees, he settles in front of you before tugging on your leg that was getting tingly the longer you sit on it, pulling it out to rest both legs beside his shape. “will you show me?” you whisper out, your tongue feels thick, heavy as you stare down at the smirking jungkook with his hands massaging your thighs.

you feel yourself getting hotter by the second, wishing he wouldn’t take his time teasing you, you had a feeling you knew what he dreamt about as his pupils get more blown with each touch he gives you. he slowly stands making you uneasy, his build covers your as he leans down to cup your face. then with slow moment, and the look in your eyes, he gives you a kiss full of love, making your brain mush as you attempt to kiss him back with just as much.

“i don’t think i have the patience right now, i want you in my room,” he speaks against your lips, with his arms suddenly, wrapping around your waist and scooping your lower back, he lifts you up, wrapping your arms around his neck as his hold around your waist tightens. "can i take you back to my room?" he asks in between two kisses. "i want to fuck you in my bed."

you feel yourself throbbing and you can't hold back a moan as you nod. once he settles you down on his bed, you admire his room and making sure you’re taking deep breaths, just to be filled full of jungkooks scent.

his room suits him so so well. the smells, the colors, the desk, the blankets, the clothes, the stickers on the window. he draws you closer, setting you down on his bed gently, bringing you back into a kiss once he settles beside you. you melt against his lips, whimpering as his hand trails down your back to pull on your bra, his body above yours and is quick to cover your neck with kisses, his wet lips smearing saliva on your skin.

“would you let me do what i desire?” you kiss the edge of his mouth after you pull away from his eager lips, and he simply stills and nods his head slowly. you guide his hands on your waist, raising your body to put yourself back in the position you were once in, your legs wrapping his and sitting just barely inches away from his hard on. once you finish pulling your bra off for him, and he breathes hard against your cheek.

finally, he lifts up his head to reach yours once again, his lips pressed firm against yours as jungkook groans into your mouth. you just shuffle closer to him and settling on your knees, his smell overwhelms you, its just so him. his cologne and his soap, and your hands are shaking as you reach for his pants. you hesitate, though, realizing what you are about to do as you kiss him back with the same passion, tilting your head to kiss him even deeper.

you’re scared he doesn’t really want this, you’re scared of what it will change, but before you can start to doubt too much, jungkook lifts his hips up and slides down his sweatpants, taking his cock out himself, groaning as your quick to wrap your hand around it. he feels so big against your palm, slowly stroking him. his one hand on your neck and then other wrapped around your waist. it’s warm and pulsating, and jungkook lets out a whimper. you move your hand upwards and downwards, getting used to him. all you hear are moans, the wet sounds of you fucking his throbbing member into your hand, and the messy kissing from the two of you. your fingers slide up to his tip, smearing the pre-cum over his cock, and you jerk your hand a little faster.

jungkook lets out a choked moan and his forehead falls into the side of your neck, leaving small kisses against your warm skin. his arms slides around your body, holding you close by waist as your movements never end, almost speeding up the more he melts into your touch.

“oh, fuck.” he whispers in your ear, and the sound is the sweetest music to your ears. 

“is this okay?” you ask him softly, lifting his head to look at you. he already looks fucked out, making you squirm a bit in his lap. his eyes are full of lust, as he stares back at you nodding his head quickly with his mouth slightly ajar.

“f-feels p-perfect,” he grunts, bucking his hips against your hand. “______…” 

the sound of your name from his lips draws a shaky breath from you, your other hand slides up his chest, squeezing it a little. you try to remain steady, intoxicated by the sounds coming from the man below you, his cock around your hand, him fucking your palm. 

“i need you,” he starts lifting up your shirt, raising over your head and immediately kissing between your chest on your bare, letting your head fall back as you stroke him faster.

you want to make this moment last. so you have something to think about, the next time he comes into your head. the next time you dream about him being yours. the next time you tell yourself there is no way he could see you like this, even when he confessed that he’s indeed seen you this vulnerable. if nothing feels real, you can at least know he’s going come around your hands. he lets out a bubbled up groan, and he’s twitching in your palm letting you know he’s close.

“oh my god-“ he comes quickly and suddenly, his cum spilling over your hands, so warm. his cock keeps throbbing between your fingers, his fingers still gripping on your hips. with a couple slow strokes after he finishes, his thighs tighten and twitch with each move of your wrist. finally releasing your hand, you take the time to lick it clean, staring at his blazed out eyes as you do so.

this is a sight you’ll never forget. 

a taste you’ll never forget on your tongue.

you’ve fallen so hard for him. harder than you did before, now that you got your hands on him for real. a taste of his lips, the feel of his hard cock, you don’t think you could ever go back.

his hands reach for your face, and you let him. his hand grazes your cheek, the other gripping your own hand. you slide your fingers in between his, feeling a little shy, even after making him come hard into your soft hand. 

“that was unreal,” he breathes, leaning in towards you, pulling you into a sweet kiss, his hand trailing down to your ass and squeezing it slightly. “you’re unreal,” he murmurs against your lips.

"i like you so much," he says, and his lips now brush against your ear, making you breathe out. “i have such a massive crush on you. i was too scared, you know."

"i know," you whisper back. "me too."

"i like everything about you," he whispers, "your voice. your passion. your smell. your skin... fuck, you're so gorgeous. you don't have any idea how beautiful you are. how fucking sexy. every fucking version of you,"

you part your mouth wider with his words. you can see the decision connect in his head as you stare down at jungkook, and he pulls your head down once again with his hand wrapped on the back of your neck. he presses his lips against yours once again, you can feel his tongue pressing the opening of your mouth before he pushes past. his tongue presses against yours, playing with it, his teeth teasing your lips. his hard cock is pressing against you, making you crave him again, and you want to feel him inside of you, so deep you can never be separated again. you can feel his hands release from your body before connecting with it again, his hands find your breasts with urgency and with a squeeze.

"fuck, those tits.." you can hardly breathe, loving each and every one of his touches against your skin. the sheets smell so much like him, it's almost overwhelming as you try to breathe smoothly.

after removing the rest of your clothes, he spends a long time kissing and licking your breasts, playing with your nipples, drawing hisses and moans from your lips.

your walls are begging for him at this point.

"kook, please...”

his mouth breaks into a grin, and he comes back to push his lips against yours. he kisses you tenderly, and you moan against his mouth. this feels so right, so true. his fingers stroke your hair, your cheek, and your hands travel down his shirt. he removes it when you tug at it, and you arch your back against him, your nipples pressed against his chest, his lips ardently seeking yours.

soon he is naked too, and he can’t stop kissing you, his cock teases your wetness as you hover over him. you know he can't wait much longer, and you squeeze his arm, hoping he understands your signal. it seems like he does, because he sits up straighter with you in his lap, helping you stay up with his hands digging into your hips gently. he lets your bare pussy hover over his sensitive cock as he stares into your eyes breathlessly as if they were asking for approval.

"can i - i mean - you sure?'

"yes," you moan out, then feeling him pushing inside of you slowly. your head throws back, letting yourself feel every ridge of his cock. you wish you could look at his length disappearing inside of you, just because you've desired it so much. he goes slow, giving you time to adjust to his size, stopping when you breathe a little more sharply. it takes a minute, but eventually he fills you up completely and you wrap your arms around him, breathing out.

"are you okay?"

you nod into his shoulder, "sorry. it's just been a while."

"there's no rush," he tells you softly, his hands shaking against your skin as you sit completely down on his length, "we can go slow." you smile, pulling him into a kiss. "just tell me if it's too much," he breathes in your ear.

you take initiative to start raising your whole body before letting yourself sink down once again. his thrusts of his hips eventually, and slowly connect with each bounce you give him. your body recovers quickly from the pain of your hole stretching around him. then you start shift your hips alongside his, easing his movements. he fucks up into you gently and deeply, sending shivers up your spine, and you're certain you've never had sex like this. you breathe together, move together, moan together.

“a dream could never,” he moans out before you start to speed your movements up, taking the air out of his lungs, “be this fucking good,” his grip on your waist leaves and cups your bottom to help you sink harder.

you take your time, your orgasm rising slowly and surely. you dig your fingers in his skin, shuddering when you hear him whimper beneath you. you’re sure it’s because of your constant clenches, his moans giving you butterflies you’ve never felt before. you shift your legs after some time, so that your legs can be wrapped more easily around his waist, where he can take control instead of your shaking thighs, and he's so deep inside of you that you feel your walls throb with pleasure. he continues to raise your body up and down, each thrust becoming more sloppy and deeper, faster with each moan he can get out of you over his own gasps.

"just like that." you whisper to him, staring down at him with low eyes. he groans deep, letting his head fall into your neck, picking up the pace in his deeps thrusts. you swear you could feel him in your stomach. "fuck, i'm gonna..”

"i can feel you," he whimpers into your neck, "come, baby. come all over me,”

you cry out into his neck, the sound slightly muffled, his thrusts not slowing down but going faster and deeper. quickly, he whipped your whole body around and facing your stomach to the bed, pushing you face down into the sheets and helping your back arch as he thrusted his dick back inside of you. at a inhumane pace he pounded into your heat, his ears picking up on all your overwhelmed whimpers and yelps, your cunt squeezing around his cock.

he hissed. "fuck baby, keep clenching around my dick like that and im gonna- inside your pussy." he can barely finish his sentences as you show no sign of release.

his cock was slamming against your g-spot , your second orgasm approaching quickly as you can hear him struggling to let out moan after moan, "jungkook, koo- gonna come again, baby please-" you moaned , before you or he could react , your orgasm hit you like a ton a bricks , your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came. "fuck!"

"that's it." he fucked you harder , hands shaking around your waist. "cream on my cock fuck- gonna come, where do you want it? want me to cum inside you, fill you up to the brim?" you nodded barely, knowing how deep it would be and not caring about after, you wanted all of jungkook. you wanted to feel him shake behind you, feel his hands not knowing where to go as he finishes and stills inside of you. now you really knew, you weren’t gonna get enough of him.

"fuck- please, inside me." he thrusted a few more times inside you, moaning as he filled your insides with load after load, gasping as you feel the warmth pooling out of you as he pulled out, rubbing your hips as you calm down and he can fix his uneven breathing.

"oh- shit." he manages to shake out, letting his body go still, and his head crashes onto your sweaty back, letting his forehead rest against it as the room fills with loud breathing instead of skin slapping and gasps from the both of you.

“do you think they worked out? will we ever see them again?” you bite your lip, not that you should care about the other versions on you, but they are you in a sense. even jungkook, the figure skater or the crowned prince, were they ever going to show again? was this what was destined to happen, for you and jungkook to get together in this time, rather than in the past?

“you know what i think?” jungkook holds you tight, your face pressed against his bare chest as you listen to each beat his heart produces, you give him a hum to continue, “that each version of us, was one step behind to being us,”

“being us?”

“we can be together. we had access to all the information to get us to this point, in our dreams and whenever we saw each other,”

“but, you don’t think they ended together?”

“that we, didn’t end get the ending we should of gotten then. think of the circumstances, whenever i saw you dressed like a princess, the tension was so high but it wouldn’t break,”

you give it a second to respond, the air quiet but not uncomfortable, jungkooks fingers trail your bare back as he awaits for your response, “if that’s the case, she took some big sacrifices. i would of took the chance,”

“maybe that’s what the issue was, you took the chance now, but you couldn’t then,”

“i don’t know,” you stretch the know out, and your smile stretches bigger as you continue to be held by him, this was definitely something you’ve done in a dream, “hockey me was pretty confrontational and confident,”

“yes, yes she was,”

“did you like that?”

“i like all of you,” he leaves a kiss on your forehead, the soft press helping your eyes flutter shut with pink cheeks, “i guess always had like every single part of you, maybe that’s what they were. your different personalities,”

“personas,” you mumble out, your mouth slightly hung open as you can feel yourself falling deeper into a sleep. he lets out a huff of a laugh before shutting his bedside lamp off.

“we’ll find the answers we want someday, baby,”

but all the answers you wanted were answered, as jungkook lets his body fall into a melting, comfortable position while he never lets go of your sleepy body. you hoped to see them again soon, when you’d wake up and see jungkook for the first in the morning, blinking the sleep away. when you would look into the mirror of the bathroom, watching her eyes wander your face as you wander hers. both are something you’d never thought you’d be, but they make perfect sense if they were the cause of the position you were put in.

maybe, you weren’t destined to go back and fix what mistakes were made then. if the timelines connect to wherever you and the jungkook that you laid up on, to you and the beautiful skating jungkook, to you and the cold and scarred jungkook, you hope for no bad ending in this time. this universe?

all you knew, is you had jungkook wrapped around your finger in every timeline, universe, and in history. as the silence of his rooms drowns quieter than you thought was possible, you fall into a sleep. even with jungkook holding you, he couldn’t keep you here.

with a blink of your eyes, your lashes heavy as they open, your hands, gloved and rested against your stomach. you felt tight as you blink at the jungkook who holds out a hand. a gloved hand sticks in front of you, holding his palm out towards you, while the rest of his body wrapped in metal gear. he waits patiently, a softer look in his face was shown as his hand awaits yours. the first jungkook who looks like he could lift the whole world on his shoulders to be near you.

“every universe?”

“i’ll be there,” with your fingers finally wrapping around his, he can feel content. you can feel the warmth of his hands underneath his gloves, and you give it a squeeze. you stand straight before letting your free hand wipe your eyes. even if you didn’t survive this life time, jungkook always came back, to prove something.

his hopeless love for you, that won’t leave his aching heart, not until he has you.

————————-

1, 2

“you know, it’s always okay to take a break. some aren’t coming to this event,”

“but, some will. that’s what matters, i need the be there. i’m one of the main characters that the people want to see,” jungkook sighs out, he stares at his reflection before fixing his face. he had to stay positive. he wanted to bite his lip, but his manager would tap his face in disapproval if he started that again.

he couldn’t help but feel drained, his eyes were heavy as artist after artist fixed him up, touching his hair and face too many times for him to count. he felt like a doll, and his tie felt to tight against his throat, the thickness of his coat making his wrists feel tight as well.

he should be used to this feeling, the uneasy feeling of being around people that will spread and share whatever he speaks out, the random flashes of cameras clicking and getting his worst views of his face before publishing it in a big picture style. something in his bones felt different, he felt more under pressure than ever before.

was he hoping for something? his eyes shut when he thinks hard, but all that pops up is you. the sight of you looking small, speaking only when spoken to by him, and jotting down his responses with precision. not only that, he saw you again, but only for a couple seconds.

he can remember it well. one second, he was staring at you, your dress long as you stood on kitten heals, your hands working on writting and stabilizing the notepad on your palm. then he blinks, the room changes completely.

the hallway now bright, white brick walls layered around the long hallway, doors that filled possibilities of things, he was gripping something that wasn’t his cup anymore, but a heavy bag. a chilling breeze blows down his back. jungkook still stood before you, but you were different. you weren’t in your tight dress, your hair curled and resting against your bare shoulders. you weren’t even wearing makeup. your face was bare, and your cheeks were red as you sweat.

you’re in this thick uniform, your hair wavy but puffy after brushing it, your bangs coated in sweat and you stood confidently on one foot, with chunky skates on your feet as you wrote down something on your palm instead of what you once had, your notepad.

it was cold, and his gaze wouldn’t leave you, your hair, your outfit, your face, the concentration in your eyes as you wrote down something with a sharpie. then with another blink, the original surroundings were back, and you were asking him another question before he had the chance to think about the version of you he just saw.

it almost felt like a flashback, reminding him that he went through something similar, with you but not you? he didn’t have time to ponder on it, but it took time anyways as he continued with his week and month after seeing you.

jungkook didn’t dream very much, he actually had a huge struggle with sleeping. sometimes he would lay for hours before his eyes feel the slightest of heavy, he could keep his eyes shut and still not fall into a deep sleep within two hours of having them sealed. but when he did, they used to be nightmares.

he wouldn’t sleep much, knowing he could wake up in sweat, feeling all of his nightmares and every single thing that happens to him throughout them.

but in a change of events, he manages to doze off after a long day, a camera pointed at him at all time even if he wasn’t in a scene. he can finally be alone.

“when will your coach arrive?” jungkook can feel a tap on his shoulder, his ears almost ringing as the man beside his speaks up. he finally peals open his eyes, and it’s almost like an answer to all of his confusion.

his eyes immediately land on his feet sitting below him as he stables himself on the bench. they were tied tightly, white skates gripped his feet and he gives himself a moment to look around. he suddenly doesn’t want to leave the bench.

the room echoes of blades pushing around the ice, the rank in front of him full of girls in thick hockey uniforms, practicing their passing skills with one another before their coach hollers the release of them for their practice.

“stand up! i want you to meet her,” jungkook could assume the other skater was a good friend of his, with the way he spoke friendly with him, with a thick native tongue. with this rise of his body, his friend waves over a girl with her helmet covering most of her face. he can see his shoulders raise before heading over towards his impatient friend. jungkook could feel his heart beating a little faster with each stride it took her to finally arrive in front of the two of them.

once he got a good look of your face, your helmet being pulled off and you instinctively plop it on top of your shared friends head before putting your full attention towards jungkook, he knew why he was so on edge.

“jeon jungkook,” his name rolled off your tongue, and he wanted to hear you say it again. “i heard you were pretty,” you leaned down, hovering your covered chest over the edge of the rank as you spoke directly towards him. he wants to bite his inner cheek as you connect your eyes with his, your gaze full of interest and warmth before you speak again. “like a kpop idol, too perfect,”

jungkook can feel his hands grip his athletic shirt, he anticipates your next move and speech. he can feel your eyes burning into his as your cheeks push into a smile, it felt teasing and he felt hot under your pressure.

“i’ll have to help out clearing the rank,” you start again, not even looking towards your friend as he hands back your helmet. your eyes stay in place, looking place to place on jungkooks face like you were examining his features. “when do you start?”

“very soon, just waiting on coaches,” his friend response for him, jungkook can’t seem to scramble his thoughts to form a word for you. you seemed so so different, confidence radiating off you, and you looked more wanting.

this was the exact version he saw of you when he first met you, writing something in your palm with a face full of blush and sweat. he can’t help but nod in agreement with his friend, and you smile once again at his sense of nervousness. it’s like you switched rolls in this dream, jungkook felt under pressure rather than you swaying to his presence.

“i’ll see you around then, yeah?” jungkook nods quickly in response, like he can’t help but folding each time you go to speak. your smile never wavers as you lean back to stand straight, nodding your head towards your friend, and then skating away to help take nets and pucks back into storage.

with heavy eyes, and feet, jungkook starts his day off thinking about you once again.

“so, you know ______?” is all jungkook can start off with, his eyes never found her eyes even as she left for the two of you to speak. he had to admit, you acting like you haven’t met him before made him feel bubbly inside, he wanted you to be honest.

“um, yeah,” you start off, but the more you speak, the more confidence radiates off of you, and jungkook can feel it. the more you spoke, the more he realized he just wanted to hear your voice hung over the loud talking of others. you went from how you met your friend to how you got invited, and he just nodded and listened, the melody way too familiar.

“your tie is crooked,” you stopped talking, jungkook stood in the same position until your hand brushes against his chest to fix it, letting it drag off your hands once you were finished. he feels he could throw up as he blinks, your face shifted into a smirk as your hair slowly becomes fluffy curls on top of your head.

the dim lights became colorful, and jungkook can hear the cracking of pool balls smacking each other. the warms colors gloss over your face, making your face seem sweeter than your smile. even the smell of the room changes, to a more musky air and his drink tastes more stronger than before as it sits on his heavy tongue.

it’s always the same two versions of you that he sees. you with a microphone, vlogging your days and playing silly games with your friends. to you, with your hair messy but also sitting neat on your shoulders, and a bolder look to your soft face. he felt as if he was at the rank again, your eyes boring into his as he can only stare and swallow.

“i was hoping to see you again,” he starts, he couldn’t tell if he was talking about actual you or the you who stood in front of him, the one who makes his knees lock. but your hand leaves his chest and cups his chin, and he felt out of breath just as you gently tilt his head down to face you completely.

“don’t say things you don’t mean, jeon,”

“jungkook,” he corrects, but your hand never leaves his chin as you give his a genuine smile, he tries to recollect his focus to the room spinning around him, but his eyes can’t seem to leave your face.

“okay, jungkook,” and the walls seem to melt down, slowly converting back to what he could hope was reality. he gives himself a moment before he realizes, in this reality, you never held his chin, but your hand never left his chest after fixing his loose and crooked tie. his mind felt blurry as he blinks a couple more times before noticing everything went back to place.

he might be losing his mind.

the night stretched farther than he hoped, he acknowledged pretty much everyone in the room, his eyes wandering every now and then to find you once again. but his mind tried to play tricks on him, making him feel that same dizzy sensation he feels before he seems the world differently, and he knew you were connected to it.

he lets it happen once again, your back facing towards him as you talk to new people, and your curls slowly turn back into your wavy, thick hair, this time your cup was replaced with a pool stick. jungkook let himself watch you from a distance, his reflection lands on windows that finally formed from the dark walls he was seeing before.

he doesn’t see your eyes meet him in the windows reflection, but once you bend down to hit the white ball, your head turns back to where he stands, and knowing smirk rests on your faces. your eyes only leave his once your pool stick cracks the ball you wanted to hit in, only turning your head to face forward once it drops with clack into the hole. jungkook lets himself take another sip before closing his eyes, your face staying in his mind. his eyes pealed open again, and the room was back to being bright and filled of boring celebrities.

when the party started to end, people being pushed out to taxis and their vehicles. he almost waited to see you once more. the freezing air hits his face as soon as he steps out the doors , jungkook shivered before searching for his managers car along with the other couple cars that were still picking up drunk celebrities. he couldn’t tell you the names of half of them.

“you have a ride, i hope?”

“yes, i’m not too far from here, i could walk if i needed to,” he smiles towards the ground, the sound of running cars became more quiet as you spoke. jungkook didn’t need to look at you, he’s heard your voice many times now. it’s like his brain had a copy of your voice hidden deep, that only he can hear on occasion.

he didn’t think he could get that dizzy feeling once more, before he actually threw up. but he simply looks up towards where you looked at him in concern. he’s watching your face turn from concern, to a blank stare. the building stretches tall, ending once it connects the pointed roof. he almost feels like he’s about to fall, sink into the ground and morphe with it.

you stood there, your chin high as jungkook tries his best to not look surprised at the sudden change of your appearance. your head holding a thick bun of tightly packed girls, your bangs hang just below your jaw. you almost showed no reaction at all to his eyes on yours.

“forsooth, you shall not walk in this hunch weather,” you stand with your back high, not caring to see his reaction towards your objection. he can’t help but let out a huff, before giving a little chuckle.

he can see in your face that you’re holding back a eye roll, sensing he isn’t taking you seriously. a dour look expresses across your face, then jungkook beams, and he can almost see your eyes twinkle.

with the buzz of his phone in his pocket, everything swiftly returns to its original look. jungkook almost feels lighter, his eyes don’t settle on his screen for long before they make their way back to look at you.

“when am i seeing you again?” it was more so of a statement as it leaves your lips, he can feel a switch in the air as he takes a second to respond.

“i’ll follow you back on instagram, you might get a follow up from there,”

and jungkook leaves you once again, but he doesn’t fail to look back once he’s settled in the car, to make sure you were able to get home safely. he almost rounded the corner before watching your head duck into a car, then he feels more relieved than he has all night.

jungkook wakes in a thick layer of sweat, the thin covers doing him no justice. he felt sick to his stomach, sitting up and out of his bed. he needed to release. with sleep still in his eyes, with a quick look around before he realizes he’s not at his home. he’s rather in a room covered with grand features, rich material hangs from his large window. a dresser sat in the corner with a small mirror hung against the wall. he steps steps one by one with his breath in his throat, once he can finally look in the mirror, he releases some of it.

it was definitely him but the look in his eyes was more stern than usual, his jaw was hard as he intensely examined his own face. was this the jungkook that saw you, standing with elegance and grace, with your chin high and not once lowering for him or anyone?

he leaves the room, not wanting to see anymore of himself. if this was all truly a dream, jungkook could just imagine you here, yes? he turns the corner quietly, two guards stand guard at one door and he can feel its right.

he manages to post both guards at both of the entrances at each end of the hallway, his knuckles pressing soft knocks against the door. it creaks as it first opens, becoming silent as the door was pulled back. your eyes reached his once you appeared between the door frame, he can still feel a bit of sweat down his back as you usher him inside of the room.

“jungkook, it’s too late for you to seek my presence,” he almost wanted to hear you scold him, you wrap your arms around your chest as you sit on the edge of the bed, your sleeping gown dangling past your ankles as you sat. “something running in the gemynd?”

“do you feel it too?” his chest felt tight , your room colder than his ever was. he can feel the tips of his fingers tingle as you ponder.

“the slumber taking over?”

“don’t be like that,”

“you can’t have anything before you are crowned, you need to wait like promised,” like you could see the hunger in his eyes, he now stands in front of you with his eyes beading down towards you. he almost grabs your face in anger, but his hand just slightly cups it, before his grip tightens and he tugs your head up towards him.

“what can i not have?” his thumb rubs over your soft lips, he’s never seen your long hair down as it settles on layer across your back. he can see your hands grip your covers, and he wants to lean in and push you back against this ridiculous large bed.

“nothing, not even a peck,” you try to stay stern, not too concerned on how cold you sound as you speak out. jungkook simply grins.

“you wish i would kiss you,”

“you wouldn’t dare,” and he couldn’t handle it anymore, it didn’t take much for him to launch himself at you, pressing you onto your back and kissing your lips hard. he can physically feel everything to your hands dragging across his back, to you kissing him back just as hard and needier than he was.

he wanted anything he could get from you, he presses his groin against yours, urging your back to raise as you kiss your gasps away again his lips.

you watch him slide off of you, you nod your head no before he reaches his knees. you were the only person besides jungkooks father that he would get on his knees for, it leaves you breathless as he trails his arms up and under the skirt of your gown.

“you will let me,” he ducks his head underneath the cloth, immediately letting his lips kiss against your inner thighs until he reaches your heat, grinning at how you left yourself be bare underneath your nightgown,“ do what i desire the most,”

he leaves a kiss right in the middle of your legs, his hands wrapping around your thighs as he begins. he starts with light kisses, leading to poking his tongue out and allowing himself to relax between your thighs. he would spend all night, on his knees, underneath your dress, and eating you like he wouldn’t be able to again.

with a shake of your thighs against his ears, jungkook sighs into your heat, and he can hear your breathing hitching as he continues faster.

but to jungkooks luck, his alarm goes off. he wished he was a heavy sleeper, he didn’t want be awake just yet but his eyes fluttered, and his stomach was fluttering too. did jungkook just have a sex dream?

not just a random sex dream of past hook ups, like a full on realistic dream of you? i’m mean, sure, you were nice to talk to and tease, you handle him well and you don’t necessarily push him away. could this explain his weird shifts, he doesn’t even know what he would call them, he physically feels a shift as everything in his world melts into a completely different scenery? but some how, you were always there.

the thought of your smirk, the feeling of your hand on his chin. he could feel you tug his face down to look at you.

jungkook wanted to stare at your eyes for as long as you’d let him.

so he followed you on instagram.

————

jungkooks days pass in front of his eyes, he felt if he blinked hard enough that he would lose another year. the world kept revolving, spinning, and he felt stuck behind in life and a camera. with the meets ups, events, and all the interviews he’s done, he had no time to even process what he was doing. he couldn’t process what he was seeing, what he was dreaming of, and who he was thinking of.

jungkook could now say that it wasn’t a coincidence, connecting all the times he’s seen you. right after he gets his taste in teasing you, watching you trying not to crumble, he’ll have a dream of you. well, you in different ways. at first, he thought he was creating different kinds of you in his head. he was a big fan of curly hair, but you had curly hair each time he has seen you. he likes your face, pretty and soft, but your face never changes, only little differences like scars and freckles.

he can picture it now, the you he’s actually seeing, the influencer, the one who’s shy under his gaze and slowly builds confidence as you speak more to him. the one who makes him want to see you more, like you’re a puzzle for him to figure out and play with.

the you, that he sees the most in both influencer you and in his deepest sleeps. the you that had almost old fashioned hair, it fluffs throughout the top of your head. the you who always had a cheesy grin that made him feel queasy. the one who also, plays hockey and is surprisingly good at it.

the last one, the one he met in his dreams. you were almost a princess in the dim lighting of a candle on your bedside, jungkook thinks he’s more attached to this version of you. he met you again, standing with good posture and not bothering to glance, your chin held high and saying old sayings that jungkooks hazy head couldn’t decipher.

what confused jungkook the most, is where he fits. he can remember his first dream of you, very vividly, with skates on his own feet. but they weren’t hockey skates, they were figure skates, more slim to twist your ankles easier and tie tightly around your feet.

he visually saw the other jungkook, mean scars on his chest that he’s never had, his hair short and restlessly hanging over his forehead. he was still himself, he looked colder, but almost fragile as he stared into his own eyes through the scratched up mirror. his pupils shaking he glanced at one feature to another, he looked so scared.

jungkook wants his questions answered, he wants to fall into a deep sleep and see you. he wants to touch you again, he wants to feel your warmth however you would let him. jungkook has fallen for someone who barely even knew him personally, someone who he’s never seen up until two months ago. but why does it feel like he’s known you for so long, with all these dreams and visions starting to feel like memories?

————-

“keep your focus on your breathing, jungkook,” a stern voice helps him gather himself, jungkook blinks and a hand smacks his shoulder, not hard but enough to really help his reality show. “that kiss and cry, is waiting for your tears after beating your personal best,” his coach at pokes his chest with every other word, “ and kicking all their asses,” he glances behind jungkook, he almost wants to turn his head to see what was there to look at, but the speakers above him tune down to the figure of commentary presenting the next skater to enter the ice.

“now presenting, winning last years gold, jeon jungkook from South Korea!”

jungkook can’t skate, not like this at least, but his feet move anyways. he steps over and onto the ice, skating around the rank and waving, the crowd cheers loud before he reaches his spot in the middle. like he knew what he was doing, he got into position and waited for the cue of music.

jungkook can feel every emotion, he feels he could cry, he lands another axel perfectly with the crowd roaring against the loud music chosen for his performance. he feels himself smiling, watching his ankle raise behind him as he glides on one foot, before lifting and twisting his whole body once again. he lands before making the jump a double jump. he finishes in the middle, after performing a smooth scratch spin, and positioning himself into his ending pose. he can feel a tear or a sweat bead drip down from the corner of his eye.

he faces the judges as he waits for the music to stop before the cheering abrupts once more. his eyes never looking at them studying his every move, but the crowd that sat above them. once he is able to leave his position, he spins on his heals to bow towards the larger crowd as they continue to praise with claps and echoing whistles. jungkook can feel all the eyes on him, but something feels heavy as he searches. there’s no way he wouldn’t see you, right?

he leaves the kiss and cry, his total from his free skate before adding up to creating yet another record for himself to beat, with yet another gold medal wrapped around his neck as he stands tall with the other boys beside him as cameras click and flash everywhere he looked. but jungkook felt empty, he was missing something, and he knew exactly what it was.

his team gathers all of his belongings and supplies, packing all of his outfits and makeup into a van. once jungkook reaches the cold night, standing outside and putting his hands immediately in his coat pockets, he rests his aching body against the hard brick walls of the building.

“you were beautiful, as always,” jungkook didn’t have to look to know who spoke, he just closes his eyes, now smelling the smoke blowing against the wind as you take another puff from your cigarette. he lets out a hum, wanting you to continue.

“i was hoping you were watching,” he waited for you to respond, or acknowledge what was spoken, but it never came, “i didn’t know you smoked,”

“sometimes,” you finally put out the burning tip, putting the butt into your pocket after it was put out, he made note of your act of not littering. “are you judging me, jeon?”

“no! i just-” he watches as you slowly make your way to where he was resting, the tips of your shoes almost touching his, he can feel the anticipation rising in his throat as he watches you scan his face. “i just didn’t expect it from how fit you are,” he turns into a pink shade, hoping you wouldn’t notice as his head hangs lower, he hopes you think it’s from the bruising cold winds if you noticed.

“you were never this shy before,” your hands leave your pockets, finding his cheeks and pulling him down to your face. he can feel your warm breath against his face, your noses barely inches away from each other. “i wonder..” he wants to kiss you, but not hard and eager, but soft and remembering. he can hear every swallow and almost his eyes blink. “would you kiss me?”

“in a heartbeat,” his answer came out too quickly for him to stop it, its almost like he couldn’t, like it was destined for him to say.

“then do it, with everyone out here, and just this brick wall just barely blocking their view. i bet you’d like that,”

jungkook didn’t get to kiss you. he didn’t get to feel your lips, that he thinks look soft and would feel even softer on his. but once again, jungkook gets out of bed after another dream leading him on. each dream gives him high hopes, combined with the yearning he’s gained from wanting you. yet another dream, of you with this confidence that he might not see in real you. if you give him the chance, he’ll you the deepest kiss in your lifetime the next chance he gets to be with you.

——————-

everyday, every morning felt the same. it was a daily reminder that you need to keep yourself together. you wake up, eat if you can, edit videos all morning, plan out your schedule with your manager on the phone, and pick out an outfit for an event he had signed you up for to get more exposure to yourself and your platforms.

he warned you that tomorrows event was very important to both him and you, and that being able to interview these kinds of actors that will show there is a privilege, and it will truly help. with your social status now, he wouldn’t be concerned that it wouldn’t turn out great for you and better than what you have set for now.

“it’ll be easy and more fun than any thing i’ve planned this year, you just need a little boost for the end of the year,” his voice echoes in your cold room, you hear him loud and clear, and you take a deep breath before letting out a hum in agreement.

but you knew it wasn’t going to be good for you, well, mentally. your manager will decide on who you should interview, and you knew theres a high chance that he will choose Jungkook as an option.

the beautiful new rising actor, who started from only working in kdramas, to now expanding around the world to act. Jungkook was in hit after hit, you’ve reviewed some of his movies on your podcast and once on your youtube, so to say you’re new to who he is, is a lie. you’ve watched a series that held him as one of the main characters just a little too many times, his voice and face appeared in real life just as much as you saw him as you slept.

you would watch his instagram stories, listening to the songs he shares and scrolling through his posts of where he travels hoping for a new one to appear.

he truly is beautiful, he can’t seem to get out of your head, and he won’t leave your dreams. since your first dream of him, of being at a college you’ve never even heard of, walking behind him to head to your apparent dorm you had, his hair long but short against his face. you almost felt cold, you could hear and feel the chilling breeze against your face as you dug your hands into your pockets. you can’t remember much more, but you remember him being there, stopping his tracks to wait for you.

before bed, you try to clear your mind of anything related to seeing him, trying to give your head no more ideas of what it could be if you were to behind him or near him. you’ve never been, but you will soon and you cannot have these images replaying as you hold a mic out to him for him to answer the questions you will ask. but more recently, it’s every night that you dream of him, and it almost feels like a warning.

that night as you drifted off to sleep, your fan blowing out air for nothing but noise, and you close your eyes to focus on your breathing, a voice rings in your ear. it’s subtle but noticeable, your name being said out as you feel your body fall asleep the longer you keep your eyes close. you can’t help letting the darkness in your eyes take over, and your breathing is finally relaxed.

“i need you out there, ______, no more day dreaming,” your hands clutch a stick, the sudden realization that you fell asleep, it was once again another dream, but almost familiar this time. you were sure that he was here. your eyes reach your coach as you peel them open, were you on ice?

“yes coach, i will keep my focus on the ice,”

“good, now!” he claps his hands and continues to go over clear instructions for practice, the rest of your team leaning in to hear his lecture go on, you could feel a sweat bead building up then dripping down your face under your helmet. you wanted to blink hard, maybe the dream will speed up if you just focus hard enough, because you sure as hell didn’t know how to play hockey.

but as you and your team set up, you swiftly prove yourself wrong as you work your hands with your stick, the puck hitting against the end as your teammate passed to you in their practice jersey, you can feel that you hated practicing against your own teammates. with wide movements and speed, you manage around your defense with the puck being dribbled below you, you couldn’t even imagine doing this in real life. you slide your stick back and smack hard, the puck flying right into the back corner of the goal net, with no goalie as she was being trained for another tactics.

once you position back to the middle, getting ready to battle for the puck once again, your eyes reach the loud sound of a door shutting, and that’s how you know practice is almost over. or you felt like it was, your head turning over to the exit of the rank, some boys held bags and were layered in tight long sleeves, they didn’t have helmets like you did. figure skaters?

but one catches your eyes, and his lock on yours. you can feel your grip tightening once again on the handle to your stick. you wish to cleanse your head, wanting to snap out of your dream to scold yourself as if you had control of what your brain creates as you slumber. you didn’t think someone could get more beautiful the more you see him, and in such different ways.

he already has on his skates, you can tell as he stands a bit higher and straighter, you tilt your head deeper and it almost makes him stiff, watching you turn your head back to focus on what you were here for. your coach blows his whistle and skates away in the process, like it was instinct, you battle for the puck once again and you win, taking the puck with you as you pushed past the defense again. coming up towards the glass nearby the settling skaters who were getting ready to head out after the ice was smoothed out, you feel your body being pushed then slammed against the glass, your teeth grind into your mouth guard that you just now felt resting against your teeth, keeping your balance as you continue to fight for the puck, but another teammate slams into you harder.

with precision, your arms lift over your head and brace against the glass, your face being saved from smashing straight into the glass. one hand held your stick as your teammates help you out and fight the others by getting the puck and them away from you. with your eyes locked toward, you see a sitting jungkook, his eyes already looking into yours as his hands work with fixing his laces and taking the coverings over his blades.

you can see his neck press down a gulp as he stares back, watching you get manhandled with a look in your eyes that makes his ankles feel weak in his seat. you can feel your lips moving into a grin with your eyes never leaving his face before a teammate smashes the side of your face into the glass, making you push hard against it with your arms and finally managing away from the aggressor.

when you finish cleaning up nets and putting them away, the banner that hangs from the net blurry and not clear, but a logo and you assume the name of the school you played for was on it. you reach the booth where your team sat drinking their water and picking up there bags to head to the locker rooms to do the same.

with calm strides, you make it over to the exit of the rank, you eyes reaching over to get one more glance of Jungkook before you truly leave and wake up from whatever this was. your hair staticky and you wish you would of brushed it back down as he stretches. his body and waist twisted in a stretch but his eyes locked on to your face, you can feel your knees lock against your thick gear and pads, your gloves felt mucky and tight against your fingers and you wanted to curse at yourself for staring too hard.

but how could you not? his eyes bead and glisten in the bright lights of the rank, he stands a good distance away from you, but you can see the look on his face, you can see his visible deeply red ears poking out between his hair, and you can see his breathing getting heavier in his chest. his torso in such tight black shirt that you can see his arms clear, his abs even clearer and his fists clench as he watches you stare hard and memorize his build. he can’t help but turn away as you start heading out, his back turned towards you.

you eyes don’t leave his toned back and slim waist until you can no longer see the benches were he stood. once you were dressed and waving goodbye to your friends, you pull out a new walkman and plug your headphones in. with a jump, it blares and loud alarm, and you yelp out. with a yank, you pull the cord and ear pieces out and you blink hard, and awake to your alarm.

you felt cold as you sat up and rubbed your eyes, your nose especially as you continued to rub your face. your cheeks felt hot and you knew you should get out of your warm bed to wash the sweat that built up on your face. you didn’t have the time to think of why you were so cold but almost breaking out in heat, and you didn’t want to assume.

finally reaching the bathroom, you didn’t blink an eye at yourself in the mirror, your hair wavy but fluffy and almost poofy, college merch rested against your chest as you reach for a hair tie to keep it away from your face. but it catches your eye as you rinse your toothbrush underwater. you almost choke on nothing watching yourself freeze up in the mirror.

that’s not you, is it? you can’t move as you glance over your features, your hair lighter in color than it should be, your face more scarred up than it already was, and back to your hair as it was tied back into a tight ponytail but it still was thick and big. you blink and you were gone, well, not you but you?

your eyes were wide as you stared back at your regular reflection, like it was all in your head, that you didn’t just see a different version of you. you kind of hoped it was, you didn’t need your therapist to worry more about you.

but every now and then, you’ll get a glance of her. in your reflection on your phone, passing a large window on your way to different locations for work, in your cars review mirror, she’s there and staring back at you. it feels like a secret, that you can’t figure out until something happens, is she who you want to be? or does she want to be you? is she not already you?

“i can’t seem to find him,” your manager leans over the table once again, you’ve managed to get a couple interviews from important actors to the series but not the one your manager wants the most. “you’d think he’d hear that someone can speak korean here and is interviewing others,” he goes to rub his face, but stops once he spots a group of people around one man in a suit.

“maybe i can find him?” he dismisses your idea but you can’t help but step off your high stool and stand, he contemplates before shooing you, letting you do what you do best. you manage your way around, keeping your eyes open and hopeful. you were more hoping you wouldn’t see him, seeing him after all the dreams and things you see of him in your head.

it wasn’t all your fault, i mean, he is very attractive, but your mind is constantly cooking up random scenarios, and they always feel so real. you wonder if you should talk to your therapist about it, or how she would feel about it. especially since if you do meet him here, you continue to search carefully with your eyes as your roam the room, it’ll be your first actual meeting him.

you’ve imagined his face, his body, his eyes beaming and never leaving yours, but you’ve never actually seen him besides pictures or videos. you don’t want to imagine how realistic your dreams could possibly be to the real Jeon Jungkook.

you entered a hallway, not seeing him in a crowd of people, and not that you were actually looking for him. you were more trying to get away from your manager looking like a creepy stalker, and your dress felt a little too tight the longer you stood in the room.

“are you lost or looking to smoke?” the hallway being darker than main room, making you on edge and wary, your head turns towards the man who spoke to you. the dim lighting making his eyes look low, staring you down in question as his hand rests with a cup.

“it was, awfully bright? loads of people?” you spurt out, you straighten your body before lifting your head completely to face him. it was a very low chance you’d end up alone with jungkook, but your luck likes to test you daily. he gives you a little smile, it almost didn’t seem genuine as his eyes stayed the same, low and steady as he continues to stare. “uh, ________,” speaking out your name felt embarrassing, you tilt your head back down, you couldn’t help not letting your eyes reach his. “i’m here for interviews and what not, i really enjoyed your show and your acting!”

“you have tiktok, yes? i think I’ve seen some of your videos,” he rests against a small table, holding a vase of flowers resting on top of a small cloth, his hand rests against the edge as he continues, “you’re pretty good at dancing,”

“which ones?” you blurt, your face warming up as he chuckles at your sudden nervousness, “i mean, kpop has always been a big part of my life, it helped me with learning hangul and i just love dancing,”

“you think i’m judging you?” he finally pushes against where he sat, his cup never leaving his hand as he walks on his heals, heading farther down the hallway.

“no! i just didn’t expect you to know me,” you manage to step forward, almost following him, you had the voice of your manager urging you to somehow get some questions out of him, you wanted to walk away and apologize for your inconvenience.

“did you want to ask me somethings? i’m willing to answer them, ______” he says your name thick, and like he’s said it many times before, it tingled your body and repeats in your head. he turns back to face you, like he knew you were just a couple steps behind him.

“would that be a problem?”

“not for me,” he gives you a genuine smile this time, not reaching his eyes but softer than before, and he gives you a moment to get your notepad and pen out. you weren’t going to get your raw reactions towards jungkook on camera, you wouldn’t want that anywhere in the media. “whenever you are ready,”

“your korean is very well, you sound like a local,” he compliments you as you continue to write down with efficiency what his answer was for your last question, almost having to flip the paper again as you cleared two pages already.

“i try, it’s not very often i can speak it with others nowadays. i went to korea a couple years ago, so that was where i got more practice from.” you finish jotting down your last sentence, you got comfortable enough to lean against the hard wooden wall as he stood and sipped from his cup every now and then. “is it refreshing to hear your language?”

“it was difficult for me at first here in the states, i only knew english words that were in my scripts. so i really couldn’t talk to others on set, but it got easier. short answer, yes, it’s very relieving.” he finishes and watches you stand back up straight, talking to jungkook was a lot for you to handle. your hand was slippery with sweat, you were praying your hand writing didn’t look like a sloppy mess if he peaked at your notes.

“you’d be fine with me publishing this?” you almost wave around the notepad before getting back uncomfortable, and he almost notices as you put your notepad back to rest against your lower stomach.

“i wouldn’t have answered you at all if that was the case,” he smirks but it doesn’t feel teasing, it feels more like he was laying it out there and liking how on edge you were the longer you stood near him. “if i see you again, and you’ll be interviewing, you’ll be the one i’ll be looking for,”

“i’ll remember that,”

“keep your schedule free for that possibility,” and he strides away, leaving you with a heavy chest and hot face. you knew you’d see him again, but maybe not like this. you get a whiff of his cologne before heading back into the mucky room full of others. you didn’t have the chance to see where he headed but, you reach your manager and immediately show him your notes.

at least you didn’t head home empty handed, your manager praising your questions and how you managed to find him after hours of looking around. you smile as you rest in the car, watching the street lights and buildings pass by as he continues to praise both you and his answers. at least you got something out of it.

you shouldn’t say you prepared for sleep tonight, getting nice and clean before finally resting under your cover and melting into your mattress. but you figured your mind would play more tricks, even more than before. you didn’t see jungkook very well in the dark hallway, it wasn’t unsettling but it was more disappointing how you couldn’t see much of his face.

maybe he was protecting you, his face probably shines just as much as his smile does. he’s probably one of those celebrities who look better in person even when they look amazing through the screen already.

as you slowly let yourself and mind rest, you fall into another deep sleep in hope of it being nothing, just a empty dream that you won’t remember once your eyelids pealed open again in the morning.

“you’d have to meet him before, surely,” you feel tight and weak in the ribs, you feel your eyes flutter open. you’ve learned to not freak out when you end up in a position of realistic dreams, letting yourself examine everything before finally speaking or making any sudden movements.

you scan your surroundings, a vanity sits in front of you, old fashioned hair products and jewelry lay in front of you on the glass. a mirror on the wall, helping you see whos behind you. a thin girl with cartoonish curls layered in a large bun sits on the top of her head, her makeup subtle and soft, a tight corseted dress pressing against her fare skin. her dress was in darker colors than yours, from the glance you got of your hands in your lap. a bed layed behind her, a large canopy type of lace layered the top rims of the bed frame and dangled to the floor. the paintings on the walls didn’t help your questions either.

you were either really rich, royalty, or both because royalty is the top class. you blinked hard before the young girl behind you speaks again, bringing you out of your head.

“do you like it? the court has strict rules, i was ordered by your mother to make it as substantial as i could,” most likely talking about your hair, her hands still fiddling within your hair strands, and you can’t help but stare into the mirror once again and finding yourself.

you look young, your skin soft and eyebrows natural, your lashes curled and pinkish colors layer your under eyes and connect to your cheeks, along with your lids. you had dark moles, that spread from side to side of your face. you almost didn’t look like yourself, but the color in your eyes never changed. they stare back just as hard, and you feel your face tighten up as you rest back on the chair.

“it’s not a choice, if i do or do not like it,” you mumbled out, your eyes never leaving your reflection but you can almost see she nods her head in agreement. you feel a sense of comfort and warmth near her, like she was always here for you and understanding.

“your mother hasn’t blinked an eye, she truly believes you will be married before she leaves,”

“does the king care about my locks?” ignoring the idea of your mother being possibly here instead of just your father, you stare hard as she continues touch ups with the burning iron, squeaking with every turn of her wrist as it steams the hairs into a perfect curl.

“no, but he is harsh i hear,”

“nothing i can’t handle, true?”

“we can hope, my lady,”

with her guide, not knowing her name just yet or knowing if you’ll ever know, you let her lead you out of your door, leaving the large room. you didn’t get a great look of the rest of the large room which was apparently yours before she helped you off the chair, straightening your dress before sticking her hand out with hopes of you grabbing it and following her out. once you exit the door, two guards stand straight and bow towards your appearance. naturally, you give them a nod with your chin high, letting them turn on their heals and lead you down the tall and expensive looking hallway. you couldn’t imagine what the biggest room looked like here at your “home”. castle? you couldn’t tell as you continued to walk with long strides to keep up, keeping your chest pointed out and away from your bruising ribs.

occasionally, there would be huge windows, revealing the bright green grass that lays outside, bushes shaped perfected with patches of flowers at every sharp corner.

was your mother the same? strong and a sharp face that sends chills down your spine, her hands softer than her looks will ever be, you can almost hear her hums as she sung you to sleep as child as you imagine her. does she have a throne, were you a princess? you never knew you could imagine yourself as one.

“my beautiful child, come come,” to your surprise, she was the same. she rests in a tall, white and gold rimmed chair in a large room, a long rug lead all the way towards where she sat as you walked up to her like you’ve always done, and bowed before taking her hand reaching out for yours to embrace. the guards taking their spots near the door, straighten in sync to the same sharp position, “today is very important, you look your best,” she gives you a look up and down before letting a smile take over her stern face.

“mother,” you can only manage out, it’s been so long that you could just stare at her face and hold her warm gentle hand, she looks bright and healthy. so, she was alive in this world.

you couldn’t feel sad, but if you were and you could show it, you would 100% show her how much you really missed her. instead, you bow down to kiss her hand before helping her up, your hand never letting go of hers until she released them.

“carriage will arrive soon, you must be straight n’ ready, my dear,” she fixes your necklace before brushing her own dress down. she wraps your arm around hers as she leads you out the room once again, and towards what you could assume is the exit of the house. “you look absolutely pulchritudinous,” you could only think that the old word meant beautiful once again.

“the king became loutish, its been some time for a new visage,” you nod, you mother reached for your hands tightly wrapped together. you let them loosen once she wraps her gloved fingers wrap yours.

she had spoken before, saying we were on the right track and were almost towards the supposedly weak king and his son to be crowned. it was the time of the century, where the king puts his crown down and his son picks it up with the idea of finding the right courted lady to be the future queen along side with him. based on everyone back at your home, servants and guards, calling you ‘my lady’ or ‘court ______,’, you could only assume you were here for one thing.

meeting jungkook, again. but this time, he’s a prince. you could imagine him a suit, or was he a fighter? would he wear armor? did battles scar his beautiful skin? you wanted to bite you lip in anticipation, would he be rude? your head felt heavy as you can see the roof of the huge castle finally showing itself between the thick leaves of trees.

are all jungkooks the same? that question would make you sound crazy if you spoke it out loud, you shouldn’t have this many personas of yourself and a guy you’ve met once that sit in your head, and haunts your dreams.

the guards help you out of the carriage, others helping your dear mother out as well. you wished to be holding her hand as you both walk through the open doors. they were so tall as they were held wide open, making you feel smaller than you already felt.

the supposed king stood in the middle of the entrance, you and your mother bow deep but you only wanted to slip away from the both of them. they spoke of old slang and too much for you to handle, but the sound of a door cracking open from above, two sides of stairs leading the now open double doors that opened. he stood tall and straight, his arms behind his body as he stared down. his eyes locked with yours but he stood firm, he lets them trail down your dress, back up to your face before staring ahead towards the hung , bright chandelier as the king led both of you up the stairs.

his presence leaves a cold chill up your spine, your hands gripping your dress and lifting it up to step up and up the stairs. he only turns as his father takes your mothers hand to lead the both of you around. with you walking behind the two, taking your time to really look around the huge building you somehow managed to enter. if jungkook saw the actual you, the jungkook in this dream, would he still willingly walk beside you, his eyes some times trailing down to where you walked beside him? watching the way your eyes glance towards everything as you turn corner after corner, down long hallways you think don’t end until you reach a long dinning table at the end.

“my son, present yourself, yes? i will walk the grounds with the lady-in-court,” it sounds almost scolding, his eyes sharp towards jungkook who just bows in response. once the guards leave and shut the door, the maids who stood stiff and waited finally made their move to what you could assume was the kitchen, leaving you both truly alone.

he finally lets out a huff, sounding like relief as he lets his hands rest against his sides instead of tightly wrapped behind his back. he had a black suit on with a gold chain in a pocket on his chest, his hair was styled but not slicked back. nor did he have a ugly, blonde wig on and pointed shoes. he was truly breathtaking, a scar lays on his cheek and you both let yourselves acknowledge your presences.

“prince Jeon,” you bow, it felt natural and right at the moment, but he shakes his head. his steps careful as he spins around the table, he stops once he’s across the table from you.

“just jungkook, to you,”

“ just ______, to you as well then,” he finally smiles towards you, his eyes were strong and held hard as you kept your best to gaze back. you can feel your hands getting warmer underneath the thick cloth of your gloves. you wanted to touch your hair, but knowing its state, it might unbundle itself with any touching. you felt like you had to duck down, even though the doors were taller than three men standing on top of each other.

you should of been warned of jungkook, of how beautiful he was, of how much pressure he makes you feel when you’re under his gaze.

but with a blink of your eyes, you start to wake up, and it felt for the better.

“are you sure i’ll fit in? i mean, I’m not a celebrity or anything..”

“______, if anyone is smart, they’ll know who you are by now. you blew up last month, gained so much more following, and you don’t think you’ll fit in? You’ll be just alright, you’ll make celebrity friends!” your manager sounds like he’s about to throw a fit, like he wants this so bad for you but maybe for himself more.

you had gotten an invitation to a party, while you knew who sent the invitation, you also knew the possibility of meeting so many people you never thought you’d get the chance to meet. you’d be in a room full of people who can’t walk the streets without being followed. meanwhile, you’ll get noticed once in a blue moon, usually for your gaming videos you do with your friends, and not your podcast or interviews.

you had a feeling you would feel out of place, but you met the inviter, and her status was way more than yours. she tours all over the world, plays on the radio on almost every channel, and you were almost a one hit wonder, where some of your videos blow up and then you go back to posting your regular, boring stuff.

so yeah, you were bound to feel out of place. but you still managed to boost your confidence, and get in the car your manager had received for you to be transported there and home safely.

you were more on the comfortable side, a short dress with long sleeves, the sleeves being laced and your dress occasionally having the same lace in a pattern. you let your friend lead you around, and you can always feel your feet starting to hurt. she introduces you to her friends, other artists and actors, and then to her personal bar to help you truly loosen up.

“you can walk around anywhere, but no one else, the good bathroom is past that door over on the right,” her long nails making her fingers look longer than normal as she points out the door, and you give her a nod before she speaks up again, her voice trying to go over the speakers music, “i’m sure you’ll find someone’s company very soon,” she gives you a wink before heading off to greet more guests.

the room was packed, more so than the last event you went to with a lot of celebrities, as it was only the crew of the series at the time. you let your eyes wonder after you order a hard drink, you had your worries about who you might meet, but they somewhat leave as you taste the alcohol on your tongue.

you let your eyes wonder, scanning every face to seek resemblance. you slowly go from person to person, until you slowly look back at each person, their looks completely changing. from the girls fancy dresses to comfortable, flowy pants and button up shirts. from the guys suits and ties turning into turtlenecks and jeans or even shorts. your world shifts, and you can visually see the walls and lights morphe into something completely different.

once everything is in place, you finally let out a deep breath. the whole room changed, the aroma and colors, the fancy room shrunk into a smaller bar, a pool table set to the side of the room as the dancing floor was in the middle. to get an idea of what you might be seeing, you take a good look at your own outfit, and it suits the time you were thinking. surely you were going crazy, there’s no way you can just head back to the 70s, you were just at a party-

once you finally had the courage to look around more, you pushed yourself off the bar and pushed carefully through the crowd of people. now you definitely didn’t know where the bathroom was, you were watching the room before your eyes wonder towards the man who started to order a drink for himself at the bar. there’s a sudden feel of familiarity, with only the sight of his back facing you and your cup felt loose in your grip. once he turns around and receives his drink of choice, jungkook lets his elbows rest on the bar, his one hand gripping the counter as he rest his back against the bar. his eyes found yours within seconds of looking around, and you clench your drink a little harder.

you give yourself a moment to blink, and think mainly. deep inside of you, you hoped to see jungkook again, as he stood in his suit and tie once again. deep inside of you, wished you never came and stayed at home.

jungkooks position never moves, but the look on his face changed. a wide grin rests on his face, and he finally straightens up once you blink hard again, in hopes you could go back to normal. what if you passed out? your body just slump against the hard floors, would people surround you to check up? why else were you able to see all of this, seeing jungkook in clothes that make him look younger, and comfortable? his hair long, bangs hanging down the sides of his, and you connect this jungkook to the figure skater.

“how many drinks have you had?” your friends voice echoes in your head, once you turn your head towards the direction of her voice, you blink hard again without any realization. the room shifts once more, and your eyes settled on your friends face with a sort of dizzying sensation.

“just, uh, this one,” you raise you cup towards her and she laughs, letting her hands rest on one of your shoulders. “is that, jeon jungkook?” you tilt your head to where you hope he still is sitting and staring.

“the one and only, why don’t i introduce you to him?” she beams with the idea, almost immediately reaching for your wrist to pull you away from your spot.

you can feel your cheeks burning up in embarrassment, you can feel a stupid saying rising in the soon to be conversion with the man who made you feel stupid with just a look with his sharp eyes.

with your still dizzy mind, you stand straight and try to relax as she labels you a good friend to jungkook. he just nods at every word she says, but his eyes never found hers. he continues to stare at you, his eyes anticipating your next move, hoping you’d speak for yourself as he watches your lips.

you hope he can’t feel it too. to the head hurting sensations of the room spiraling into something completely different, your dreams that you had no clue what to do in, but the you in the dream does.

but if jeon jungkook was dreaming of you, you wouldn’t care as much as you think as you go to speak to once again, your voice wary and quiet against the music. all he does is grin, it was more deep than before, his eyes leaving your lips and staring back into yours. you felt like stone clogged your throat, with each gulp you took and every contact your eyes made with jungkooks.

——————-

a.n: i’m releasing the first chapter on january 16th, and im so excited to finally have so new fics on my tumblr after a long break! please let me know if anything is spelled wrong, i love some feedback🫶🏼 each chapter will have a way to get to the next, so you don’t have to keep coming back here! thank you for all the support, i love you all.

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3