b nance

As the neural network begins to get better at generating cookbook recipes, it continues to have trouble with recipe sources - short and highly varied, they’re a challenge for an algorithm that learns by repetition. Still, it does its best:

This neural network, a learning algorithm trained on 30MB of cookbook recipes, generates new recipes based on probabilities. The resulting ingredients, while their words are individually probable, can end up disturbingly vague. “Yeah… I’m pretty sure this recipe’s gonna contain some… chunks.”

While I’m waiting in line this woman (We’ll call her “Loud Bitch” = LB) is shrieking down her phone to who I can only presume is her now totally deaf boyfriend. She’s visibly pissing off most people in the general vicinity with her swearing and general attitude.

As It’s coming up to my turn to check out, she’s decided she’s fed up with waiting and puts her big bag of M&M’s in front of my lunch on the conveyor and says “I need to go first.”

Without so much as a moment to think and without making eye contact I pick them up and move them behind my items, saying nothing.

RED ALERT: DIVERT ALL POWER TO BITCH DRIVE

LB: “What the fuck are you doing?” Me: “I was here first, wait your turn.” LB: “Fuck you I am on my lunch break and I have a very important job blah blah blah” (I can’t remember the whole rant) Me: “It’s lunchtime, everyone is on lunch, you have to wait” LB: “Fuck you! I asked nicely!” (lolwut.)

At this point LB throws her M&M’s in front of my lunch still ranting and it’s now my turn to check out, enter awesome check-out girl. (Who we’ll call “ACG”.)

So after seeing the bag of M&M’s land on the conveyor I decide, fuck it and I accept LB’s gracious offering and buy the M&M’s for myself, leaving her M&M-less.

Of course the battle was not yet over, more screaming was coming my way.

bringiton.pptx

LB: “What are you doing, those are mine!” Me: “Nope, I’m paying for them now, if you want M&M’s you’ll have to go get some and wait in line.” LB: “You’re a theif! You stole my M&M’s!” Me: “No I just bought the M&M’s you rudely threw onto my pile of stuff.” LB: “I’m not getting anymore, give me my M&M’s back. You’re a thief!” ACG: “Ma'am, I suggest you go and get a new pack and wait in line, there are people waiting. The gentlemen hasn’t stolen anything, he paid money for the M&M’s.” LB: “Call the fucking manager, get this piece of shit kicked out for stealing.” Me: “Mind if I step out anyway? I have a very important job and I’m on lunch?” LB: “Where the fuck are you goi-” ACG: “Sure, here’s your receipt.” Me: “Thanks.”