Dumb Bitch

Many villains are disliked not because of their objective, but because of the method used to reach it

This is absolutely why I love villains who's goal is morally right and is needed but they need to be stopped for their ways of reaching said goals. It can remind us all that the way to a morally right goal absolutely matters and can make you morally wrong even if the goal is otherwise

Every year someone unknowingly holds the world record for the most masturbation.

Better call Guinness

Having plants growing inside a house can be a sign of a nice house or a very bad house.

If your house is at a point where its literally growing plants in it you might need to wonder what the fuck happened to get to that point

I had sort of unknowingly cheated on my boyfriend with Big Bird from Sesame Street, and when I finally worked up the courage to confess to my boyfriend that I had cheated on him, instead of being angry he was jealous that I got to sleep with Big Bird. It was very odd.

Please put your url in your posts I refuse to be fucking baffled everytime I GO through my dashboard

I was in the library at my school checking out a book and my sort of ex (very complicated relationship) suddenly started going to my school and she invited me to eat with her and her friends. Being the chaotic bi bitch that I am, I told her that I promised my (made up) boyfriend I’d eat lunch with him since I hadn’t all week. She told me to invite him to come eat lunch with us as well, so I got my very obviously gay best friend to pretend to be my boyfriend and we kept the act going for the rest of our high school career (for like the next 2 years) until we graduated and “broke up” because we were going to different colleges.

You sure that this isnt a dream?

Once again, we’ve proven that the only good YouTube channel is the one where that dude eats military ration packs.

what about guy who makes knives out of weird stuff?

He should make a knife outta projareds broken marriage

He should make a knife out of sending unsolicited nudes to underage girls

I was in my little brother’s room and I could hear really loud pop music coming from outside, so I opened the curtains and looked out the window and there was literally an army of wendigos wearing 80s workout gear speed walking towards my house.

this is one of those posts that require you to sign your username on them

im gonna be honest; when i saw you on the tumblr subreddit i thought you were some weeb 15 year old girl

i.e. why when you or someone else gets stabbed or impaled, you should leave the object in the wound until medical help arrives.

So when my dick makes someone bleed I should leave it in until help arrives?

America. Is. Actually. Fucking. Insane. 😳😐

If I was a woman living in Georgia I’d be fucking scared to get pregnant and probably get my tubes tied

Less than 100% of people who have died are dead

i really don’t want to meet the people who have died but aren’t 100% dead yet

i love putting my dick in my boyfriend

gay

OP we require a recipe

there is POOP on my DICK!!!

sowwy buzz!!! 😔 my poor widdle sphincter is just soooooo tired from eating ikea furniture all day 😞 😞 😞

its ok. just make sure to empty your hole next time. 👍

It was a mistake to try out tumblr but i can't fucking stop

Team Rocket is always after Ash’s Pikachu. Meowth is a cat and Pikachu is a mouse. Cat and mouse.

Team Rocket is always after Ash's Pikachu is the worst sexual phrase in the world

Cats are like strippers, they’ll sit on your lap but you aren’t allowed to touch them.

And if you do you'll get scratched and reprimanded