— ☼ ❛ browns my skin just right

“ absolutely no cargo shorts. you’ve seen these legs. ” finn immediately vetoed with a laugh. he didn’t need to blind his students with his exposed limbs—and cargo shorts never looked good on him anyways. he ought to go on pinterest and see what teachers his age are wearing, because finn surely can’t roll up in one of wyatt’s hoodies and baby blue sweatpants. “ yeah ? cute and hot ? ” finn smiled, flattered. and even thought he was completely convinced that none of his students would like him like that, he still teased with a cheeky and wide grin, “ i’m gonna’ get sooooo many apples on my desk. ” really, though, he just wanted his students to like him because they respected him and thought he was doing a really good job. they could think he was ugly for all finn cared. he listened to wyatt’s first comment about dogs, and then he really listened when he suddenly brought up his therapist. he took everything the therapist suggested to heart—finn didn’t have confidence or faith in himself that he could take care of wyatt well. not on his own, at least. he needed help, and guidance, and apparently wyatt needed a dog. how could finn ever fight that ? “ is that something you want to do, then ? ” he asked, looking at wyatt. “ get a dog ? ” he’d never thought about it, them having a pet together. it was a lot of responsibility and finn wasn’t really in the house during the majority of the weekdays; he had class and he ta’d stanford’s undergraduate english classes for minimum wage. but he wasn’t opposed, either. he liked dogs, their first date ever had literally been at a dog park. the tip of his mouth quirked up at wyatt’s eye roll. he was right, though. hyland was dark and gloomy everywhere. “ it’s to pay the ghosts, i think. ”

"i have. and i love them." wyatt smiled, cheeky. he knew he was absolutely, positively biased and everything, but still. sue him; he loved his boyfriend's legs. he slid his torso off of the couch, hanging onto finn's waist as the rest of him followed, landing in a heap that he maneuvered into finn's lap. "you and a bunch of hormonal teenagers is a recipe for secret admirer notes. i wanna hear all about them." finn, with his dark curly hair and bright eyes, was about to be the talk of every single lunch table filled with girls and gays. wyatt understood, though. he was in the same predicament. if they lived in an alternate universe where they’d both grown up in the same area and finn was at his school, teacher or student, he’d be one of the kids at that table daydreaming about him. "cute and hot. and smart. you're a triple threat. they're done for." wyatt stayed put there, his cheek pressed against finn's chest. it wasn’t lost on him, that finn wasn’t immediately on-board with the thought of getting them a dog. if it was something that wyatt wanted, he knew that finn would put up with it regardless. it didn’t really make him feel any better, knowing that. but he’d been sitting on the idea for a while and the longer time went on the more he was thinking that it was probably something that should happen. he could easily pay for pet insurance, he could easily pay for training, they owned a house with a yard where they didn’t have to worry about a pet deposit because it was theirs. he was his own boss and could bring a dog with him to work. hesitant, he nodded his head. “i’ve been thinking about it.” he admitted seriously, since this had gone from an idea about dog toy theft to literally getting a dog. “i think having a reason to get up and do stuff that isn’t for myself would be good for me.” he tried to stick to a schedule - he tried to give himself as little room as possible to fuck things up, but that didn’t negate the fact that sometimes he’d go a week or longer actually forcing himself to get up even just to go to the bathroom. he’d slump his way to the kitchen to pack finn lunch before he left only to give into the desire to crawl back into bed once finn was gone. it was why he was excited for his shop to open, to have something to do and things to handle. wyatt felt like sometimes he was wasting away and finn could only feed him his medication and watch, waiting for some kind of lightbulb to turn on that wyatt wasn’t entirely sure wasn’t burnt to a crisp. “i think the phantom of the opera would be much happier if hyland went out of commission. they should default on their loan.” he yawned.

“ there is brain space left for my studies, ” finn assured, starting to get excited as he began to talk about his classes, “ i think my mastering literacy class is my favorite so far, ‘cause we’re learning, like, how to help kids read and write essentially. –and like, i know my future students will know how to read and write, obviously, ‘cause they’re gonna’ be twelve, but the class is all about like, how to get them to really care and understand and get passionate about english and grammar and stories and poems and hymns, and like. it’s bad, ‘cause i need to not daydream, but i always sit in class and think, like, holy shit, i’m gonna’ be up in front of a classroom reading harry potter or of mice and men or great gatsby or any of the middle-level classics and the kids are going to care. –and then immediately after that i start thinking oh, shit, what the fuck do i wear as a teacher ? ‘cause i’m gonna’ be watched and i don’t want my kids to roast me. ” ritchie did it sometimes and it was brutal. like, almost unrealistically brutal. “ you say all that sappy stuff now, ” finn smiled, “ but once i start drawing peens on the wall you’re gonna’ wish i had just asked what tapestries you like. ” but he’d never actually write on the walls–wyatt paid too much money for finn to feel comfortable doing that. he did think they needed something for the walls, though. eventually. with wyatt settling into ease, finn happily adjusted the blanket so it was cocooning both of them. which, like, they didn’t need more heat in california, but they had the air conditioner on. “ a dog ? ” he repeated, amused laughter leaving him, “ just to commit mail theft ? ” he really did hope their neighbors didn’t think they stole the package. finn liked the couple across the street, they had baked he and wyatt a welcome pie when the moving truck pulled up to their new house. “ wanna’ be my official junk mail tosser ? i get so many letters from hyland now ‘cause they want me to donate. ”

wyatt snorted, tilting his head to the side in thought. “i feel like a lot of my teachers just wore polo shirts and jeans or cargo shorts.” when he thought about it, a fair majority of them had been women and well, unless finn wanted to wear a skirt to his school wyatt didn’t have that much advice. although he’d look great in a skirt, it would either make him really cool or get made fun of more than he would if he wore cargo shorts. it really just depended on the kids. “they’ll love you no matter what you’re wearing because you’re gonna be the cute young hot teacher.” he shrugged, knowing it was the truth. any and every teacher in their twenties was under the watchful eye of every student that had a crush on them when he was in school, and wyatt could admit he’d been one of those students crushing on his younger teachers. with all of the money he had he could’ve persuaded them into some real trouble if they had the inclination. “not just to commit mail theft. i just like dogs. they’re sweet.” he danced around the concept for a moment longer before finally releasing the kraken; “dr. van pelt recommended that i get one. since my anxiety is always worse when i’m alone with my thoughts for too long. but, i dunno.” the thought of having a dog was nice, and if they trained it he could literally go anywhere with it with a license. but if finn wasn’t a dog person, or any kind of pet person, he wouldn’t be upset about it. somehow, even if finn didn’t like pets, he didn’t know if finn would say no, especially considering the circumstances. wyatt rolled his eyes. “the last thing hyland needs is your money. for what? to update their near nonexistent electricity bill?” 

living with wyatt brady was both everything finn thought it’d be and nothing like finn thought it’d be. he supposed he could say the same about just dating him post-kidnap-and-that-time-he-was-an-active-killer, too. living with wyatt was everything finn liked: making breakfast together on the weekends, ordering a pizza and frowning at the television while judging everyone on america’s got talent, washing each other’s hair in the shower, laughing together while they did laundry. living with wyatt was nothing like finn thought it’d be: hearing rustling outside at night and wondering if paparazzi had found wyatt brady’s new residence, inputting a new combination lock on the safe that held wyatt’s medication every night, trying to sleep while his boyfriend couldn’t do the same next to him, missing class to quietly scrub vomit off of the bathroom floor. wyatt was still the wyatt finn fell in love with, but he wasn’t so disillusioned that he couldn’t see that things were different for his boy, either. it made him sad, a lot of the time. but then there were nice moments, like when wyatt moved his eyes away from his thousandth western to look at him in a way that still made finn’s breath stop short. “ probably feels like a jack in the box, huh, ” finn mused, grabbing the order receipt from the bottom of the cardboard. he, of course, didn’t get anxiety from opening mail, but he wasn’t the one constantly getting letters from law firms, from news stations, from gossip publications, from podcast hosts, and God knows what else. but he could still guess it probably was like a sick game of okay, who sent me some bullshit i don’t want to see this time ? finn smiled fondly as he watched wyatt test out the blanket, and he smiled wider at his comment. “ of course. it’s just wyattwyattwyatt up here, ” he said, pointing to his head. he began crumpling up the receipt as he continued, “ besides, i’ve wanted this for forever. living with you, i mean. so now that it’s real, i wanna’ make sure everything’s nice for it. ” finn tucked the blanket around him like a cape, nodding and getting up from the floor at wyatt’s question. “ we got another package, but it’s not for us, ” he answered, the blanket flowing behind him as he retrieved the box he’d left on one of their dining room chairs. “ it’s for the people that live across the street. their thing full of dog toys got left on our doorstep by accident. ” he left the box by the front door so he could remember to drop it back off to them. finn plopped next to wyatt on the couch, reaching his hand up to smooth gently through his hair. “ we also got some more letters, ” he murmured, “ but it’s all junk. ”

wyatt gave a weak smile, shrugging his shoulders. it definitely was, except a jack-in-the-box was usually at least a little bit pleasant. usually, if it wasn’t junk, everything he got in the mail was just stressful. he’d rather not open mail, but he at least wanted to make sure he wasn’t being officially subpoenaed or something. however the fuck any of that worked. his expression turned soft, leaning his cheek on his hand and watching finn crumple up the receipt. “make sure to leave some brain-space for your studies.” he joked. it wasn’t much of a joke, though; sometimes he worried that he was going to be too much, distract finn too much from studying. the whole reason he was in california in the first place was to go to school, and sure it was nice that everything worked out, but wyatt didn’t want to jeopardize what finn had worked so hard for. wyatt knew he was a lot, knew that sometimes he was time-consuming, that finn woke up every morning to make sure he got his medication, and only went to bed after dutifully checking to make sure wyatt hadn’t gotten into it while he was gone. “what makes it nice is you being here. you don’t have to think about me so much.” he’d, of course, take it. but truthfully he felt like a fish drying out in the sun when finn ignored him for too long. “we should get a dog and steal their package.” his eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of finn’s hand in his hair, lulled into comfort. “i love junk mail.” he decided. “i get to just toss it out.” 

finn loved his life. a few months after reuniting with wyatt the two boys moved in together, just shy of a full year of dating. finn had to break his apartment lease, which sucked because he’d spent so much money and time furnishing the tiny space, and his credit score definitely took a ding from the broken contract, but it was hard to worry or even care about the little things like that when he was now living in a gigantic california house with his very rich boyfriend, the person he’d been wanting a real future with for ages. and finn had been nervous at first, agreeing to something so huge when it constantly felt like he still needed to know more about wyatt, about what happened to him because everything still looked dark and unknown and far away ( but maybe wyatt wanted it like that ), but it was easy to get over when he turned the key into his new front door.

they’d been gradually filling up the space and getting used to living there, and finn found that he liked doing his masters degree homework at the kitchen island because their windows were huge and he liked seeing the sun spill over his textbook pages. it was a weekend, though, and he allowed himself a free day for once as he sat criss-cross on their living room hardwood, frowning quietly as he opened a package he didn’t recognize. “ …did you order this ? ” finn asked quizzically to wyatt, looking at the amazon label and trying to gauge what was inside from that. “ ‘cause i haven’t ordered anything recently… not anything that’s supposed to come today, at least. ” he grabbed a box cutter and began pulling open the package, and then, “ oh. never mind. i ordered this at 3 a.m. when i was drunk at amla’s party. ” he pulled out the giant and fluffy blanket he’d ordered for their couch, initially picking it half because it was a deep and pretty emerald green, and half because sometimes wyatt liked to sulk on their couch when he was having a bad day and finn wanted him to at least do so warmly. “ do you like it ? i don’t mind returning it if you’d rather something else. ”

wyatt hummed, tearing his eyes from the television screen to look at where finn was sitting on the hardwood floor. he’d never been much of a television person - not really into video games, not into books either. escapism through media hadn’t really been his thing, except now it was. he’d had one relapse, when they had first moved into the house. it’d been building up for a while, the settlement of his inheritance somehow making him feel more stressed than less, the calls from various attorneys in the case against mario asking if he’d be a witness if he wasn’t going to show up. wyatt had to state they’d have to formally subpoena him if they wanted him to talk and it made him freak out every time he checked his mailbox. he had more money than he knew what to do with and people constantly talking in his ear about what to do with it, and wyatt couldn’t hear any of it. it was like his brain turned to static. he’d stayed up for hours while finn snored quietly on his side of their mattress, and then had gotten up to go for a run to soothe his panic. he’d run hard and fast, and when he stopped at a gas station to buy a chilled water the alcohol had taunted him from a single refrigerator down. he’d grabbed a party pack of white claw and had downed it during the walk back home like a cretin. he’d had his first restful sleep since they’d moved in, no dreams or anything. he’d paid for it with a huge hangover and projectile vomiting bright and early, though. finn didn’t even seem disappointed or upset, which was the worst part. he’d just seemed worried.

so wyatt had resorted to numbing his brain with television; no thoughts, head empty. just gun-slinging, whiskey-drinking bigotry with cowboy hats and spurs. if his obsession with westerns had been bad before it was worse now. “nuh-uh.” he shook his head, turning onto his side to watch finn open the package. “opening mail gives me anxiety.” he smiled wryly. it was true, though. people ringing the doorbell made him similarly anxious. if they placed an order for pizza he would always just go pick it up instead of having it delivered. he sighed, reaching for the blanket and prying it out of finn’s hands to curl up under it. it was almost too-warm considering he was wearing a pair of sweats, but his eyes were tempted to start fluttering shut regardless. “only you would worry about how much i would like a blanket that you bought.” he pulled it off of himself to drape it over finn, shifting around on the couch. “but yeah, i like it.” he nudged finn’s head playfully. “did we get anything else?” he asked. 

“ …can you teach me italian ? ” finn asked suddenly, the idea falling on him. “ i wanna’ be able to speak to you the way you speak to me. ” and sure, wyatt had mentioned that he wasn’t an expert at it, but finn thought he was good, that he sounded good. it might be tough to learn–italian was closer to spanish than french and finn didn’t know a single lick of spanish, or how the language worked, but, like. he understood conjugations and shit. he could learn italian with a few months’ time and a good duolingo subscription. you can punish me for it later. the smirk. the wink. was wyatt alluding to…? no. no, there was no way. he couldn’t possibly want to–not so soon after getting back from what he got back from, surely. they were barely even kissing, hesitance and slight unfamiliarity on both sides still in the way of them completely falling back to normal. so finn’s eyes flicked between wyatt’s, trying to gauge where his head was at, what he meant. God, he was going to be embarrassed if he’d just overthought this whole thing. “ punish you ? ”

audi was still signing autographs, and later on, maybe if there was a lull in the parade, finn was going to google who exactly audi was. it seemed like she had some street cred. maybe she was on rupaul’s and he just never saw. “ you are not covering the benjamins, ” finn immediately vetoed with a smile, reaching up to fix wyatt’s fringe from where it was peeking out from his fucking ridiculous cowboy hat, “ you’ve already paid so much for us today. ” he was spending money like he had gotten an inheritance or something. “ je connais, ” finn conceded, “ mais tu me manquerais trop. ”

“bien sûr si tu veux.” wyatt shrugged his shoulders, though he wasn’t entirely sure what the fuss was all about. he could speak french to finn fine; it wasn’t like he’d gone out of his way to speak it to finn specifically. and it was nice, that finn would do that for him. but it wasn’t really needed. they could already communicate fine in two languages, which was more than the average american, probably. realizing the way finn was looking at him like he hadn’t just made a joke made his cheeks go red. and look... sometimes when wyatt joked it was more of a promise. but they’d just started talking again the day previous. sometimes the smell of cologne triggered his fight or flight. “je ne suis pas sérieux, chérie. à moins que vous ne vouliez mais... seulement peut-être.” it was never easy for him to deny finn of anything he wanted. it was like pulling teeth. this was no different. 

wyatt pulled a face, skeptical. “it’s not a big deal, finn.” it wasn’t like when he was living in chicago with hardly twenty dollars to his name on any given day. “i hardly even go outside. i have a pretty good chunk of change i’m more than happy to spend on you.” his smile was a little wobbly, a little weak. 

“ a yank, ” finn repeated around an amused laugh. he didn’t even know what that meant—was it yankee ?—but it sounded funny either way. “ you know, france and italy really get along with each other, ” he hummed, smiling syrupy at wyatt. “ there’s this old as fuck quote that’s like, seule paris est digne de rome; seule rome est digne de paris. ” he didn’t remember where he read it from but it took on a whole new meaning for him now that he knew his boyfriend was italian. if finn ever decided to take wyatt to meet the french side of his family, he knew there wouldn’t be political and geographic beef, and thank God, because his grandfather could get really mean to foreigners. …of course, though, finn didn’t even think that was something worth pondering about; he and wyatt had just gotten back together, and their futures were still so uncertain. they might actually break up for real, as terrible as that sounded. finn feigned offense at wyatt’s question, but he was close to laughing. “ you’re telling me you haven’t been reading all the eighteenth century hymnal books i subliminally recommend you ? dick. ” he noticed it, the way wyatt almost seemed zoned out as he brought that park might still have his old stuff, and finn bit at the inside of his cheek, unsure. he hoped he hadn’t accidentally stirred up bad memories by mentioning it.

still not used to having wyatt back, finn subconsciously reached for his hand and laced their fingers together because he missed touching him, while audi spoke. and God, did she roast them. finn immediately turned a deep pink, and he fishmouthed, clearly embarrassed. “ we do not j— “ but it was futile to try and defend themselves, and he was left feeling absolutely read. but maybe that just came with talking to a drag queen; behind the redness, finn was amused.

“ a benjamin, ” finn murmured as audi became preoccupied with taking photos. “ i only have hamiltons. ” he’d still tip, of course, but he certainly didn’t casually carry around hundred dollar bills. he clicked on the venue location audi sent, swiping through multiple photos of the space with mild interest. honey. the phone screen illuminated how finn blushed. “ oui, but if you’re going to leave my side to get one for me, then non. ” he smiled warmly and gently at wyatt, reaching forward to cup the side of his face and smooth his thumb over his cheek. “ just sit with me. we haven’t done that in a while. ”

finn’s smile always made wyatt feel weak in the knees, like his heart was going to drop into his stomach. “i’d sure hope so. they’re neighbors.” and look, wyatt was a simple guy - he was smart, sure, but mostly good at numbers, good at art, but reading? not so much. part of the problem as that it was hard for wyatt to sit still - sometimes he’d listen to audiobooks when he worked out but he’d have to rewind them because he wasn’t paying attention. his attention span wasn’t made for reading. “i know, i know. i’m the worst. you can punish me for it later.” his smirk was accompanied by a wink. 

wyatt linked his fingers with finn’s, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder. the rim of his hat bumped into finn’s curls. “it’s okay, i’ll cover the benjamins.” he whispered, smile amused. he snooped on finn’s phone, looking at the venue for the drag show. it was pretty nice, and wyatt knew exactly where he wanted to sit, but it was probably going to be an event considering the parade was during the day. but oh well. he turned to smile into finn’s neck, shrugging his shoulders. “tu sais que je reviendrais te donner à boire, non? mais ok.” wyatt stayed put, staring out the window.

finn’s face immediately creased, his eyes widened slightly. “ since when ? ” and then promptly he was squeezing his eyes shut tight in embarrassment, pursing his lips in pain before continuing, “ sorry, that was so, so dumb. ” because obviously if this man was italian it came with his fucking birth. “ i’m just—i had no idea. ” the irony of them being this far along with each other yet they hadn’t once talked wyatt’s background. this was still a healthy relationship, right ? finn pushed a hand through his hair, neck slowly losing its ashamed pink tint. “ but that’s really cool. and it explains why you’re so good at speaking it. ” wyatt was trilingual. God, was he smart. “ —have you ever read confessions of an italian ? it’s a really good book. ” and finn had a copy of it in his apartment. buried under a hundred other books in one of his still unpacked boxes, yes, but he had it. “ park, um. he might still have some of your old clothes, ” finn spoke up. “ when i was moving out of my dorm i returned back all the stuff you gave me, ‘cause. you know. i thought you dumped me, so i didn’t want to keep it. and like, i don’t even know if he kept it or not. i just put everything in a box and dropped it off at your old place’s door. but in there were a lot of your clothes—hoodies, shirts, whatnot. ” a few pairs of underwear from the early days of finn spending the night and not yet having his own clothes in wyatt’s drawers. “ and there was other stuff too that he might have. art that you made me, the skateboard… —i kept the little prince copy, though, ” he admitted sheepishly. but come on, finn had one of the last few remaining signed books of the little prince, all thanks to wyatt. finn wouldn’t give that shit up even if wyatt cheated on him then dumped him. “ but yeah. point is that he might have some of your old stuff, if you want any of it. ” and maybe they were too tied to what wyatt got up to in chicago, but maybe it wasn’t that deep, either, and wyatt might want them back for the sole reason that they were some comfortable-ass hoodies. of course, though, this was all under the assumption that park didn’t throw out the box. 

finn was smiling warmly against the kisses to his cheek, wondering if he was brave enough and if he was even allowed to tip his chin up and capture wyatt’s lips in a full kiss, when they were interrupted. he looked curiously at the two people, at first confused about who’s fucking makeup she was talking about before he remembered he even had it on. makeup was scary like that: you couldn’t even feel it. 

he was quiet and initially shy as his boyfriend and the drag queen conversed, sitting next to wyatt and digging through his backpack to grab a water bottle ( california was hot ) before lifting his head up when his name was mentioned. 

“ i—yeah. i’m from illinois, so, ” he offered with a small grin, messing with the flimsy label on the bottle. 

he watched the other couple with mild amusement, and God, he and wyatt had never, like, been around another couple before. unless park and eunice or park and lil were hiding something. regardless, it was fascinating, looking at another gay couple and wondering if they mirrored each other in mannerisms. “ a drag contest ? ” finn repeated, looking down at audi’s phone as he hesitated before eventually typing his number in ( this was a stranger ). “ do guests get to vote at the end, then ? ”

his eyebrows, seemingly, went further up into his hairline as finn’s question. because you know, that wasn’t typically a question one asked when they were learning about someone’s ethnicity. since when? it wasn’t how flabbergasted he was, rather the question itself which made him laugh. “no. i know.” he reassured, smile small. they hadn’t really ever gotten to that part. finn being french was the main point of conversation when that kind of stuff came up, and it’d been easier to indulge than divulge at that point. wyatt hadn’t deliberately kept it from him, it just really hadn’t been very relevant. “it’s really not. i talk like a yank.” his mom often told him that, but to be fair he was lacking years of practice. his siblings were probably better at it than he was, and they were turning four years old. he pulled a look at finn’s question. “finnegan, when have i ever read an obscure book that you mention?” the answer was never, but if finn wanted to talk about it wyatt would always listen. he blinked, owlishly, at the mention of park. park hadn’t even mentioned having any of his old stuff, probably because wyatt had expressed that he didn’t know what he wanted to do about the situation with finn. “hm...” he was hardly hearing what finn was saying, going in one ear and out the other as he got lost in thought. it wasn’t until silence descended between them that it even registered that finn had stopped talking, that there were no more words for wyatt to clue himself in on after following his runaway train of a thought. “maybe.” he allowed. 

“illinois? did blondie bring you all the way here?” audi asked, a perfectly covered and redrawn eyebrow raising, throwing a look at wyatt that could only be described as shade. “a typical bunch of gays. never looking around you and always having your eyes on someone you gotta jerk off with on facetime. sad.” 

wyatt had to snort and put his hand over his mouth to cover it, face beat red even though the assumption was far from the truth. he didn’t even get a chance to rebuttal before the drag queen was continuing to reply to finn’s question. “it’s less of a straight up vote and more of a tip based score, so. make sure to drop be a benjamin.” she grinned, veneers straight like something out of toddlers and tiaras. 

“noted.” wyatt stated as audi took her phone back and then promptly sent finn the address to the venue. “tu veux un verre, chérie?” he questioned, leaning out of the way of a group of teens who were eager to get a photo with audi.

finn’s eyes mirrored wyatt’s. there wasn’t much else in the world that was as captivating as the sight of wyatt excited. the only thing he could think of that compared was a new, untouched book. hardcover, of course. “ i know, i know, ” finn conceded sheepishly, shrugging soon after with a gentle smile, “ but still. thank you. ” because wyatt didn’t have to do this. he was recovering, for God’s sake, and from more than one thing. but he was still making plans with finn, asking what he wanted to do and it was just— finn really appreciated it, was all. well, i’d sure hope so. finn looked up at him curiously, brightly. “ why do you say that ? ” he couldn’t imagine why anyone would need to worry about sounding authentically italian besides maybe, like. the voice actor for mario. finn wondered, passively, if wyatt’s shedding of all things black had to do with what happened and where he was now. because the black made sense in chicago. the black made sense because he was never trying to be seen, to stand out. the black matched the color of a gun, the tires on five’s cars, the looming darkness that hung over every conversation. wyatt having color in his closet now, it… it was almost symbolic, in a way. like the signs of a new chapter. or something. maybe finn’s just looking at him like a book. “ i like color on you, ” he kept it to, meaning it genuinely and grinning gently. he’d told him before blondes and blue go well, anyways. “ oh. thank you. ” finn tucked his twenty away. “ je vais payer pour nos sushis alors. ” it was only fair; he certainly couldn’t have wyatt paying for everything today. that had never been the case between them, anyways. “ oh, wow, ” finn breathed, pink lips parted in awe as he looked around the inside of the ferry. it was crowded, and he could pick out a lot of people who also seemed to be heading to the parade, but finn was focused more on the view through the windows. “ look, wy, ” he murmured, eyes widening at the sight of the california city line and trees and hills. God, he loved this state so much. you didn’t get views like this in the midwest. he held on tight to wyatt’s hand when his boyfriend suggested moving, maneuvering past couples and kids and strangers to get up the steps. the view a level up was amazing, too, and finn was almost immediately letting go of wyatt to take out his phone, tourist mode fully activated as he took videos of everything. finn walked up to one of the windows, pressing his phone against the glass and getting shots of the lazily rippling water, of the city in the distance. “ —can you take a picture of me ? ” finn asked suddenly, turning to wyatt. he handed him his phone before walking over to the back wall where more windows and their sea view were, holding his hands behind his back and smiling wide at the camera. such a tourist.

wyatt shrugged casually, smile soft and smitten. one of his dark eyebrows raised at finn’s question, amusement coloring his features. “finn, i’m italian.” god, how long did they know each other and finn didn’t know he was italian? it’d never come up, wyatt supposed. there was no reason for finn to know that, honestly. but still, it was a little silly. they sure went head deep into things with finn knowing next to nothing about him. it was kind of wild, when he thought about it. “yeah, my mom likes color on me, too. she took me shopping when i got here because she’d donated my clothes and she kept picking color so. i took the hint.” it was probably for the best, anyway, since wyatt knew that it got warmer in california than in chicago. it was better for his health and sanity to not live his life in black. “yeah. it’s nice, right?” it was why he’d picked the ferry to get to the parade, aside from the god-awful traffic. he placed his backpack on a table right by the window, leaning back on the booth and sticking his hands into his pockets as he watched finn with his face practically stuck to the glass. “yeah, baby.” he willingly took finn’s phone, stepping back and leveling the camera to snap a few shots, ducking around people and bending and squatting so that he could get the golden gate bridge in the shot. “vous êtes si mignon.” he said as he wandered back over, handing finn’s phone back and pressing a couple kisses to his cheek. 

“oh my god, i love your makeup.” they were interrupted by a man in full drag and his gruff and quiet (presumable) boyfriend. the only indication that he was associated was that his anime shirt had men kissing on the front. “did you do it yourself?” 

“that was me.” wyatt offered, taking a seat but half turned to where they were speaking at the table right next to them. 

“werk. happy pride!” she gave jazz hands that jingled with heavy bracelets. “you two locals?” 

“i am. it’s finn’s first time here.” wyatt turned to give finn a sneaky wink, removing his hat from his head. 

“you’re gonna have so much fun.” she leaned forward, hovering over wyatt and the quiet boyfriend as she spoke excitedly. “babe. baby, give me my phone.” the boyfriend was already handing her her phone before she could finish her sentence. “there’s a drag contest tonight and yours truly will be there - i’m audi, by the way. audi lingerie - and it’s gonna be so good you have to come, finn.” she handed her phone to him like she fully expected him to input his number.  

…if he was insisting. “ well, ” finn started, going for inconspicuous, “ if you’re hungry afterwards and there happens to be a sushi spot nearby, i wouldn’t hate the idea of stopping to get a california roll. ” it was cheesy and tourist-y, but he’d always wanted to try his first california roll in california. he’d held off on trying them at sushi restaurants for that very reason. a grateful pause, and then, “ thank you, by the way. for hanging out with me today, making plans, stuff like that. ” while most of his days were preoccupied with building furniture and decorating his new space, finn had admittedly been so lonely these past two weeks. lonely and homesick. he hadn’t fully accounted for the fact that enrolling at stanford and moving to california meant he’d be leaving all of his friends behind in the process. so it was nice that he had wyatt to hang out with until he finally started making friends, that wyatt wanted to hang out with him. “ oh. okay. ” finn smiled to be supportive, but it was so fucking obvious and written on his face that he was completely confused by this cowboy hat situation, about the accent and the rootin’ tootin’ darlin’ sweet thing. “ wow, ” he grinned, eyes shiny, “ you’re really good at sounding italian, wyatt, it’s crazy. ” he was just nailing the accent game today: first the heavy western and now basically perfect italian. …was wyatt, like, gonna’ get a job now that he was considered a living person again ? because he’d make a great impersonator. finn’s cheeks tinted when wyatt returned the compliment, deepened when he leaned over to kiss him. “ thanks. i got these clothes from this wicked cool shop. locally-owned. ” he had to belt the jeans, but other than that wyatt’s clothes fit him well. loose and oversized, yeah, but it all worked together regardless. he looked like those indie soft boys on pinterest. “ i was surprised, actually. i didn’t see a lot of black in your closet, ” finn brought up, eyes momentarily crossing as he looked up to watch wyatt fix his hair. but it was true; when he’d opened wyatt’s drawers and closet that morning to pick out an outfit, he wasn’t greeted with the usual sea of black he’d grown used to. “ oui. ” …the hat. hm. okay. why was he– okay. finn climbed out of the car, sea breeze immediately hitting his face. “ whoa… ” he looked out excitedly at the water, at the ferry posted at the end of the dock ahead of them, distractedly feeling around in the air until his hand finally bumped into wyatt’s. a little girl nearby seemed delighted by his colorful makeup, but it still made finn feel a little too seen, so he busied himself with using his free hand to grab his wallet from his pocket and start pulling out a twenty to pay for his ticket.

-wyatt’s eyes shined in excitement. “that’s a good idea.” it really was, and san francisco had really fresh fish for sushi, too. he tilted his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “of course. don’t need to thank me for that.” while he hadn’t been planning on talking to finn yet, he wasn’t going to leave him high and dry now that they were talking. maybe it would be good for him, to have someone other than park, especially considering park was going to be moving to philedelphia soon. he snorted, eyebrow going up in amusement. “well, i’d sure hope so.” did finn not realize that he was italian? truth be told, his italian wasn’t even that good. not when compared with his family who actually lived in italy and spoke italian as their first language. though he supposed that when you didn’t really know anyone that actually spoke italian it was difficult to tell. it definitely didn’t sound like it was his first language, he’d say that much. he pulled a dry look at finn’s joke, rolling his eyes playfully. to be honest though, he was used to finn stealing things out of his closet. it was hard to tell before, since most of his wardrobe had been all black and finn stealing his clothing had been like a guessing game when it came to what exactly he’d taken. “yeah... i dunno. i’m just trying to be different.” that much was true. he didn’t know how to explain it in any other way. this era was new, and he was trying to embrace the newness of it - the new nature of his life without dragging along things that reminded him too much of where he used to be at. plus, his mom liked color on him and it was hard to deny her anything when he felt guilty over everything he’d put her through over the last four years. “je t'ai chérie, ne t'inquiète pas pour ça.” he waved finn’s money away, letting the person at the gate scan his phone and dragging finn onto the dock and onboard the ferry. it was pretty packed, everyone trying to get into the city for weekend festivities. there was a little snack bar set up with people getting wine for the trip, kids getting soda and snacks. “let’s sit upstairs.” he pulled finn up the steep staircase, so that he could have a good view of the bridge as they rode across the bay. 

wyatt was so sweet, fuck. “ no, it’s okay, ” finn shook his head, smiling warmly, “ i don’t want to make today all about that. ” he’d feel too self-centered, even though it was literally just finn ticking off things that they were already in the area to do. besides, wyatt’s the one who’s had it rough, finn wanted them to do things he’d been looking forward to. “ c'est malheureux mais vrai, ” he chuckled, because french people really were unreasonably rude. but he loved his people, even though they gave him the biggest stank eye when he walked around france not dressed head to toe in designer and making out with a cigarette, God forbid. finn was nice because his mom raised him nice, and even if he was a stereotypical french asshole, he didn’t even think he’d be able to be mean to wyatt. his boyfriend was just too sweet, too funny. “ is… are these quotes from true grit ? ” finn tried figuring out. they didn’t get to finish the movie, so maybe wyatt was just… randomly… saying references from it ? while bringing a cowboy hat with him to pride ? finn’s eyes lit up in surprise and awe as wyatt imitated an italian accent perfectly, and he laughed merrily – wyatt even got the hands down and everything. “ si. –ciao ! ” finn tacked on, since they were pretending to be real italians and all. those were the only two words he knew, though, but he didn’t think it mattered since it’s not like wyatt was actually italian. a bright smile stayed on finn’s face as the wind began to whip through his hair, as the air cooled down his skin from the california sun. he was here. he really was fucking here, in his dream state, and he looked out the window in excitement and gratefulness, even though they weren’t even driving past anything monumental.  but finn was still happy. after a moment he pivoted his head to take in wyatt, his side profile, the way he looked so cool in his shades, the way his strong arm was behind finn’s head. this was his boyfriend and they’d been dating, yes, but finn still got nervous butterflies around him, still felt like he was a middle schooler with a big fat crush. “ i, uh. i really like the blue on you, ” finn spoke up, cheeks pink as he looked over at wyatt shyly. in his defense, though, they hadn’t seen each other for nearly five months.

“today can be whatever you want it to be. it’s about you.” wyatt had already been to pride multiple times - had lived in san francisco his whole life, been handed everything he’d ever wanted on a silver platter. it wasn’t a big deal to him to put himself aside for one day and cater to whatever finn wanted. if finn decided he didn’t even want to go to the parade he wouldn’t bother. he’d take him somewhere whole in the wall, to his favorite ramen shop in japan town, to the flower conservatory, to the san francisco art institute. it didn’t matter. “no they’re not. it’s just me being silly.” hence, you know, the rootin’ tootin’ part. it was all lost on finn. wyatt was pretty sure he’d have an aneurism if he took him to a country line-dancing bar. “il tuo italiano è molto buono. dovresti fare la pasta per vivere.” he joked, even though he knew finn wouldn’t know what the fuck he was saying. he peeked out of the corner of his eye as finn stumbled over his compliment, smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “yeah?” his mom had tried to put more pink into his closet, said it would bring color to his cheeks, but he’d denied it even though she was probably right. “i like it on you, too.” they were kind of matching - it looked like they’d mixed outfits, though to be fair everything was straight from wyatt’s closet. when they pulled up to a red light he leaned over to kiss finn’s cheek, fingers going up to futilely fix finn’s windswept hair. he only turned away from looking at finn when the light turned green, whipping into the parking lot of the ferry station and rounding it to get a too-big spot for his tiny car. “prêt à partir, champignon?” he leaned back to grab his hat, placing it on his head as he stepped out of the car and grabbed his backpack from the backseat. the line to board the ferry was already moving, so he was quick to put the top of his car up and lock it, swiping through his phone as he held his hand out for finn to take. 

“ this is perfect, too, ” finn was speaking, grabbing his phone and unlocking it so he could tap on the notes app, “ ‘cause i made a whole bucket list of things i wanted to do now that i live here, and riding on a ferry was number… ” he frowned momentarily, scrolling through his hefty list before his face lit up again, “ twenty-eight. ” he’d only been able to check off two other things in the two weeks he’d been there: get a burrito with fries inside of it and see a palm tree. now he had three things down. he happily ticked off the selection before putting his phone back into his pocket. “ it could end up going a lot of ways, ” finn agreed, “ french people are assholes. ” americans definitely received the worst end of it, especially the tourists, but some of the absolute rudest people finn had ever met had been fellow french people when he was back in france. they made park seem sunny. optimistic as always, though, “ but i’m sure these ones are nice. ” had wyatt ever tried pets-de-nonne ? finn hoped the bakery had them so he could try. i’m just a rootin’ tootin’ cowboy looking for a rollicking good time, darlin’. the content smile that had been on finn’s face still remained, but he titled his head like a confused dog, his eyebrows creased as he looked at wyatt. “ …what ? ” this boy was so silly and cute but… the fuck ? unperturbed for the time being, finn turned to start climbing into wyatt’s mini car. it was undeniably sweet that his parents gifted him it ( and fucking crazy, because how rich do you have to be to just casually give out a car as a gift ? ), but finn wondered if they took into account the fact that wyatt, you know, was six fucking feet tall. finn wasn’t even that height but he was still trying to figure out how to maneuver in his long legs without bumping his knees or feet into anything. “ i think this is the type of car luigi is, from the cars movie, ” was all he said, though. 

wyatt blinked in curiosity, peeking over finn’s shoulder to see the list. it was pretty long and he scrolled too fast for wyatt to really read any, but he got the point anyway. “well if there’s any others you see we can do while we’re out let me know.” there were at least twenty-eight items on finn’s list. he snorted, removing his hat from his head to scratch at his scalp before placing it under his seat so it wouldn’t fly off with the top of his car open. “i feel like you’ve told me that before.” wyatt couldn’t remember if the people working that bakery were really french, or if they were nice, but in the grande scheme of things they saw so many different people every day it probably didn’t really matter to them. “i’m a cowboy lookin’ for a good time, sweet thing.” the accent stuck, if only because finn’s face told everything and nothing about how he felt about it. “his name is luigi? hanno chiamato una fiat luigi anche se non è verde? l'audacia assoluta.” he did his best imitation of his extended family, italian hands and all. “it’s fucking small but it’s easy to park in the city, so.” he wasn’t too upset about it. he turned the engine on, reaching over finn’s lap to move the seat back as far as it could go before looping his arm around finn’s seat so he could look back and pull out of the drive, leaving it there as he took his shades out of the center compartment and placing them on his face before taking off down the street towards the ferry station. 

a ferry. they were going to be taking a ferry because the streets were closed for the parade. what the fuck. “ wyatt, ” finn chuckled at his boyfriend in wonder, his eyes wide and sparkly with newfound excitement and anticipation, “ you’re saying all of this too casually. we’re going on a ferry ! ” and maybe the other boy had done this song and dance before and that’s why he was able to talk about it like they were getting an uber, but finn had never been on a ferry, he’d never been to any sort of parade, and he was experiencing all of this in a new state he’d just moved to. was he still nervous and anxious as hell ? absolutely, but the nerves were starting to meet the butterflies. he watched wyatt move about in a rush, and for a moment, finn smiled to himself.

wyatt was back. he was with wyatt again. and now they were going to spend the day together.

“ okay, ” he grinned, stomach ready to growl at the thought of the ice cream cones he’d been drooling over last night. “ i hope the owners are actually french. i usually get free food when they are. ” and of course he had money on him—fifty in cash and a few thousand in his bank account that was solely for his rent—but it was always nice when finn went to a french-owned establishment and the owners sent him off with an armful of goodies for free just because he shared the same foreign citizenship. “ yeah. yes please. ” of course he wanted pictures, and he wanted pictures with wyatt, too. they were matching, wyatt’s blue button down matching with the blue jeans finn had taken from his closet. it hadn’t even been intentional, either; that was what made it even better. finn looked at the cowboy hat wyatt suddenly procured with confusion and amusement. “ is it cowboy themed this year ? ” he asked innocently, following wyatt out the front door. finn’s eyes widened in happiness as he looked up at the sunrise sky, and he knew his boyfriend wanted them to get going, but there wasn’t any harm in taking a few peaceful and slow seconds. “ wy, wait, ” finn murmured, looking up in awe. “ look how pretty… ” he took out his phone to quickly snap a few pictures. he’d send these ones to his mom for sure. finn pocketed his phone, officially ready to go, and he pointed at the small car parked next to his old honda. “ is this one yours ? ”

wyatt felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment, finn’s excitement making him feel elated. this is the version of his life he’d wanted since meeting finn; nothing about chicago constantly hanging over their heads, able to do something to make finn happy that wasn’t just a good fuck and a bar of chocolate. granted, finn had seemed perfectly content with those things and hadn’t asked for anything more from him, but still. this new brand of happiness on finn’s face made his cheeks feel hot, made him eager. “it’s fun. i think you’ll like it.” the ferry was a little novel, yeah, but finn deserved to see the bay, and the golden gate bridge with a view from the water. 

wyatt snorted, nose scrunched up in amusement. “guess we’ll be speaking french when we get there and see what happens.” not that wyatt had any problem buying stuff for finn, but it’d still be pretty funny - that finn actively wanted to get free stuff. but it was alright; the shops on market street were always bustling and busy, they wouldn’t miss anything from giving finn a free chocolate croissant or something. “bien sûr chéri.” he waited for finn to leave before closing the door and rummaging through his many keys, eyebrows high as he fumbled before finally locking it, smile tickled. “nah. i’m just a rootin’ tootin’ cowboy looking for a rollicking time, darlin’.” his imitation of a country accent was incredibly pristine in a way that made it obvious that he’d been watching way too many westerns. he unlocked his car, watching finn pause to take a photo of the way the sun was rising on the other side of the bay. he leaned in to stick his key into the ignition and roll the top down, turning to look back at his tiny car. “yeah. my parents gifted it to me so i can go to my appointments and stuff.” they thought it’d be inconspicuous, but it didn’t even matter anymore because the press knew his license plate. 

finn stayed the night at wyatt’s gigantic family house, but only because to drive nearly two hours back to his apartment just to drive right back was doable but too tedious. he’d been worried that he was overstepping and overstaying his barely-there welcome by sleeping over, that it was already too much that he was sitting down and eating cheesecake factory pasta with wyatt’s family, but. he supposed wyatt’s mom and stepdad liked him enough to be okay with him spending the night ( well. at least to his face. finn had genuinely good conversations with wyatt’s parents while eating, answered some questions about himself and talked about wanting to be a teacher, but he was still unconvinced that they truly approved of him, given everything ). it was now the morning time and he was sleepy, eyes closed and content as wyatt did his makeup. wyatt who happened to be in a great mood, it seemed—finn didn’t know if it was because he was excited, because nothing dramatic had happened, or if it was something else altogether. regardless, finn was soaking in his sunshine, nose scrunching up as the makeup bristles tickled his skin, as wyatt covered him in kisses. he of course kissed wyatt back, and he wondered if the pink now coating his face clashed with his eyeshadow. because after nearly five months, finn wasn’t used to being kissed by wyatt again yet. the butterflies had never gone away,  even when they were a few months into dating, but they felt like birds now with how finn’s stomach kept somersaulting. he was still letting wyatt take the lead on affection, though, as he didn’t want to cross any lines. “ we’re taking a ferry ? ” finn asked curiously, getting off the bed and walking to wyatt’s mirror to look at his face, and wow. “ oh wow. ” he’d never had any sort of anything on his face before, and finn blinked at his reflection, at the shimmer on his face. it was beautiful and amazing, don’t get him wrong, but. it was definitely a rainbow of colors. and like, finn knew fucking pride of all places was the last place where he needed to worry about his safety, needed to worry even less when he had someone as strong as wyatt with him, but God. half of the reason why he’d always been so nervous to come out fully was because people got hurt for that sort of thing. wyatt got called an ugly word at lil’s party when he’d defended finn, when he didn’t deny that he liked guys to the bully. and finn just—actually, no. no. finn frowned at his reflection, face set. no. he wasn’t going to let his negative thoughts, his paranoia ruin this. he was going to go to pride. he was going to go with his boyfriend. he was going to have fun, he was going to be calm, he was going to feel free. so finn ran a hand through his hair, fussed with the clothes he was borrowing from wyatt’s closet, and then decided he’d be okay. he sat on the floor to start pulling on his converse, nodding. the shoes weren’t famous for their arch support but it’s all finn ever wore. “ i’ll be okay, don’t worry. ” he started tying the laces, pale fingers making quick work. “ i, um. i did some research last night, before i fell asleep, ” finn started, smiling small as he looked up at wyatt through his curtain of curls. “ and i saw that at some parades, they have this ice cream truck that’s, like, a national chain. it’s called big gay ice cream. and they have this one ice cream cone that’s vanilla dipped in chocolate and it looks really good. ” finn stood up, grabbing his phone from wyatt’s nightstand to pocket it. “ and i also saw that there’s this, like, rainbow sidewalk situation. like rainbow road but in real life. it looked cool from an aerial view. ”

“yeah.” wyatt was very busily throwing things into his backpack without much thought or organization; sunscreen, more makeup, makeup remover, chapstick, antibacterial wipes, more sunscreen, a change of clothes... “they close down streets for the parade so it’s gonna be fucking awful driving into the city right now.” and it was already pretty bad during the working day and during an event like this it was going to be ten times worse. they didn’t need to sit in 3 hour traffic for a thirty minute drive. he hauled his backpack over his shoulders, about to make his way down the steps before backtracking and grabbing his phone, struggling to get the case off and putting one on that charged his phone. and then he grabbed finn’s hand and pulled him downstairs, a frenzy as he packed water and some of the twins snacks into the backpack. “we’ll get you all the ice cream you want, baby. and there’s this french bakery we can stop at right when we get off the ferry that you might like.” his parents had, quite frankly, given him way too much money for him to be a glorified babysitter that was on the mend from a binge. but he wasn’t going to question it too much - part of telling finn about that was to keep himself accountable, because if finn didn’t know he probably wouldn’t stop him from doing anything for the sake of having fun. he pushed the train of thought out of his head faster than it had entered - he was in a good mood, he didn’t need to ruin it by thinking about any of that. “if we follow the end of the parade there’s usually a party, and it crosses the sidewalk you’re talking about. we can stop and take pictures if you want.” he smiled, grabbing his vape and his keys from the keyring, and placing his cowboy hat on his head. “allons-y, champignon.” he peeked through the peephole in the door before opening it for his boyfriend. 

finn was absolutely overflowing with things he wanted to say as wyatt moved closer to him, as he cuddled up against his side and held onto him. i’ve lost you twice now. is it going to happen again ? how can i protect you better ? i’ve been terrible at it. what happened to you while you were gone ? was it all bad stuff ? did you have any moments of happiness ? what got you to the point where you needed rehab ? sexual trauma therapy ? when did you get that rose tattoo i see ? are you going to testify ? are you okay to go to pride tomorrow ? i don’t want you to feel like we jumped back into our relationship too fast, do you need to take a break before we date again ? are you sure you still want to date me at all ? do you really still love me ? even after nearly five months apart ? i live so far from you, how are we going to keep seeing each other ? i missed you so much, did you miss me ? but wyatt was tired. he’d been through a lot, way past what took place in the last few hours, and the absolute last thing he needed was even just one more question from finn. so even though finn’s tongue was heavy and weighted with words begging to slip past his lips, he, for once in his time knowing wyatt leland brady, didn’t ask him anything. instead he carefully lifted a hand up to start lightly carding through wyatt’s hair like he always did when they fell asleep together before. finn pivoted his head to rest atop of wyatt’s, closing his eyes and beginning to quietly hum a french nursery rhyme his mom always used to sing to him when finn was a baby and needed to fall asleep. and finn hadn’t been tired before, had actually been pretty wired up from all the energy of everything happening all at once, but the long drive hit him, the adrenaline crash hit him, the softness of wyatt’s mattress pulled him in, the long-yearned feeling of wyatt finally next to him again was the final step in getting finn to slowly start to drift off, humming slowing down to a syrupy and sleepy melody.

wyatt didn’t really know how to feel, didn’t really know how to begin processing any of these new developments. he was overwhelmed, which was the long and the short of it. his eyes began to drift shut as finn’s fingers ran through his hair, and god he’d missed this. he’d missed finn’s hands in his hair, the baritone of his humming vibrating against wyatt’s ear, the feeling of his curls tickling his forehead. he felt at home, and safe, and the fear of finn’s rejection was, for now at least, gone from his mind. he was too tired to cry hard, but his eyes were wet as he fell asleep. 

it was a sunny, clear day in san francisco, and wyatt was feeling inspired. his parents had left with the twins to get away from the city for the weekend, because pride always made the traffic ten times worse than it already was, and wyatt had forced himself and finn up early so that they could make the parade. at the current moment, he was perched on top of finn’s lap, leaning over him on the bed so that he could do his rainbow makeup as promised. he was just finishing up the eyeshadow on his last eye when he pulled back to survey his work, using his pinky to straighten out the lines on the edges before smiling down at finn. “there.” he picked up a small fluffy brush and dug into the highlighter, using it to make the highs of finn’s already high cheekbones more prominent, as if he hadn’t done so already, getting a little overzealous. the look was very contrasting the rough southern accents of jeff bridges and matt damon on screen, true grit truly not doing anything to set the mood. but wyatt was happy anyway. “we have to get going,” he took finn’s cheeks in his hands, kissing all over his face, over the colors, “or we’re gonna miss the ferry...” and then he kissed finn on the lips, light and lingering at first, and then full of everything - before rolling off of the bed and pulling on the blue button down he’d taken the time to iron when he woke up. that was the problem with wearing light colors; it was especially obvious when there were wrinkles in them. he rolled the sleeves but hardly, most of his tattoos hidden, and jammed his feet into his sneakers as he peered out the window. “you sure your converse will be okay? we’re mostly walking today.” he might pack a pair of filas in his backpack just in case. in fact, he was doing so even as he was talking to finn. unlike the day prior he took his meds as soon as he’d woken up, had some espresso from marc’s fancy machine. he was on cloud nine, elated on an upswing and feeling none of the weird energy he’d been sucking up the day before.

“ okay, ” finn said, nodding as he took everything wyatt had to say in. it was starting to really settle in that he definitely wasn’t dating the same boy as before, that this version of wyatt in front of him almost meant that finn had to relearn how to be with him, that he had to change the way he loved him in order to accommodate and take care of this new wyatt. but finn was fine with that, and he was happy to be with wyatt just the same; he learned how to lie about wyatt’s last name and how to press a damp towel into a bloody wound, he could learn now how to give space and take care of a recoverer. finn brought his knees up to his chest, smiling small against the caps as he watched wyatt pack up his things. “ she looks like you. ” a pause his his smile grew a tad, and then finn shrugged and said, “ but maybe that’s just me with every blonde person i see. ” you could probably show finn any person of a blonde celebrity and he’d say they looked like wyatt. but sophia definitely bore similarities to her older brother aside from their hair color. you could tell that they were related, even if not fully. “ no need to apologize, ” finn was quick to assure softly, shaking his head. he wondered what wyatt had been through that he was feeling so much at only noon. finn knew he was definitely a big part of it – he still felt like utter shit for making wyatt cry, even though wyatt kept telling him that it was alright. but what else had happened before that ? did he even want to know ? let’s take a nap. finn’s eyes widened the slightest bit at that, and he momentarily remained on the floor while wyatt got on the bed. let’s take a nap, he – finn was going to be in the same bed as wyatt. he hadn’t been expecting them to reach that point anytime soon, and sure, this was only napping, but still. finn hadn’t been in bed, hadn’t laid down next to wyatt in nearly five months. and God, given everything wyatt had been through, finn was incredibly worried he’d accidentally cross a line he didn’t realize was now there. so even though he got himself up from the floor and moved onto the bed, he didn’t know what he was meant to do, if wyatt wanted to cuddle ( and fuck, finn wanted to cuddle ) or lay without touching. finn settled in, laying down with his hair sprawled out on the pillow beneath him and trying not to be so fucking awkward but unsure of if was okay to move in closer.

the corner of wyatt’s lips quirked upwards. “nah. our noses are pretty similar.” it was their mom’s nose, even if you couldn’t tell anymore because of the work she’d had done. he could see it in photos of her from when she was younger, before she’d gotten scouted for modeling and even through her first few print jobs. “they definitely have their dad’s brows though.” wyatt’s were full and intense like his own dad’s, ironically enough. he was glad for them, though - blessed without the curse of a blonde with see-through eyebrows, no matter how much they reminded him of kane brady. “well, i’m going to apologize anyways.” he was probably going to keep apologizing because he didn’t really know what else to do. wyatt didn’t know if he even had the capacity to break it all down for finn and he didn’t want to put it on him all at once, either. it was too much for wyatt, it would be too much for finn. he knew he’d have to say some of it at some point, sooner rather than later. but he just wanted to enjoy being in finn’s company without all of that, at least for a little while. it was obvious to him, as it always was, that finn was anxious. wyatt didn’t really blame him, because he was a little bit, too. but it wasn’t a bad kind of anxious. forcing himself through it, searching through the comfort of the familiarity, he rolled over onto his side and scooted in closer, lifting finn’s arm so that he could press into his side and tuck his head up into finn’s armpit. he smelled sweaty like a game day, the tell-tale smell of his deodorant filling his nose as he looped finn’s arm around him and held on. he was unwilling to let go. “ ‘ts okay.” he reassured, already groggy.