in this house we respect mulder

my favourite thing about the X Files is that time they ended an episode with Scully crying in a confessional booth saying 'I'm afraid that God is speaking and no one's listening' and the very next episode is about killer cockroaches

mulder will do shit like call scully from jail and be like hi I got arrested trying to catch homeless bigfoot in an alleyway. I know you’re a six hour drive away but can you come pick me up. and scullys problem is that she will come pick him up eventually

“it’s not canon” TO YOU. they’re fucking nasty in my google docs right now

booty shorts that say what do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? and why do i have to do it right now?? i just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy, all for you! i do it all for you, mulder! you know i haven’t eaten since six o’ clock this morning and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn’t even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese! and now you want me to run off and do another autopsy?! on the ass

mulder’s great because you don’t often see guy characters whose fatal flaw is the fact that they have so much love in them it’s giving them brain damage

i wish you guys lived inside my head the fics in here go crazy

dana scully character of all time. she's five foot two. her two day jobs are cutting up dead people and professional ghostbuster. she's got daddy issues. she owns a fluffy little dog. she's held multiple different government officials hostage multiple times. she kissed her boss on the mouth. she accuses said boss of trying to kill her like once a year with literally no foundation. she's catholic but her favorite movie is the exorcist. she shot her best friend. she was abducted by aliens and still refuses to believe in them. she dresses like an underpaid arts teacher. she met god in a parking garage. out of the two times the man she's been blisteringly in love with for years confessed his feelings to her, the first time she got so overwhelmed she started crying and the second time she thought he was high on painkillers. she can't park a car. she once had an existential crisis, got a tattoo, and slept with a serial killer. she wears socks on the beach. she might be immortal

everyone's doomed by the narrative bitch let's get you some fruit