thesepeskyvoices

I work as a teacher, and has been one for almost ten years. I am surrounded by kids on a daily basis (range from 7-12 years old) and dare i say i m doing pretty well being one. I love teaching kids dont get me wrong. The only thing i dont understand is, that i DO NOT have the capacity to tolerate kids outside of my work place. Kids irks me so much when i m not working and i cant stand the thought of having to deal with one. What the hell is wrong with me?

I could not understand why God or whatever diety it is up there play this cruel trick on me. These had happened so many times. Each year i will found a group of people that touches my soul and they make me feel like i m worth something. And every single time, without a fucking fail, they had to leave me behind. I never ever blame them cause it is wht it is, but whts painful is every single one of them take a little piece of my heart with them and i am left with such great sorrow and loneliness. I am tired. I dont think i can do this anymore.

My body is screaming to get some rest but my mind doesnt want to. If i catch myself slipping into rest, those fucking voices is going to flip my life upside down again. I dont want that!