"I have no idea what I'm doing."

Not trying to be petty but I'm just really getting sick of people and it makes it more annoying when those people are supposed to be your friends and would probably say your crazy or give you shit if you ever said anything to them...just sick of being the nice, considerate, supportive friends and not getting anything back

This past year has been such a whirlwind and theres a lot of things that I regret. Every so often I randomly remember one of the really embarrassing things I did and I’m like “fuck!.” I try to tell myself that what’s done is done and that you can’t change the past, but it’s not so easily done. I sometimes think that a therapist would be helpful, but then I worry that I’ll realize I’m crazy and I’ll annoy the shit out of them and I also worry that I won’t like what they have to say. I know that doing/not doing certain things and that completely deleting people from my social media and contact list would be good for me, but I’m not one to let go of things so easily... I sometimes think that in some ways I must enjoy torturing myself by thinking about the past. Is that what masochism is? I want to make a list of all the terrible and wonderful things that have happened except I wanna also forget about the terrible things. I like to think that once i am actually happy that these feelings will go away. I hate the fact that I was having a really good week until I got stressed out and started overthinking everything. I worry that I’m not good at what I do and that I wasted my time going to school for something I can’t find a job in. I worry that I don’t know what I’m doing. I literally worry that I worry too much...

Right in the feels