the moon is gay and i love him

Is this real

alright so its May 30th 2015, and this blog appears out of the blue. It’s a self-proclaimed REAL SJW blog, only they made a point of hating ‘special snowflakes’ aka any gender or sexuality that were not one of the well-known ones. 

They all take the persona of a Sonic character, and at the time of the blog’s creation there were 6: Mods Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Tikal, Tails….and Silver. The blog hadn’t been active for 24 hours before Mod Silver allegedly closed the ask box. As you can see from the rules page at the time, this was a clear violation of the rules:

The other mods were displeased, in particular Mod Amy who ignored his stated reasons for doing so and furiously demanded that he contact her on skype.

Mod Silver was promptly removed from the blog for his first offence, however not before the blog’s followers took note of another rule on the list: Be kind to Mod Silver.

The tumblr masses became angry at Mod Amy’s hypocrisy and called for her to be removed from the blog, starting the trends #IStandWithModSilver and #DownWithModAmy. She responded by saying she had done nothing wrong by disobeying the Mod Silver rule as the rules had been updated after his removal:

This only made Mod Silver sympathizers angrier, increasing the pressure on Mod Amy. The whole thing upset Mods Tails and Tikal greatly, with Mod Tails trying to stand up for Mod Silver and Mod Tikal refusing to pick a side.

At the end of the day, the blog had 10,000 followers, and both Mod Amy and Mod Sonic confirmed that Mod Silver was gone for good. 

BUT WE AREN’T DONE.

The very next day, Mod Tails resigned after alleged harassment by Mod Amy.  Mod Sonic then revealed that he and Mod Amy had been dating in secret. Mod Knuckles was recruited, hoping to be a peacemaker of sorts, and became the only Mod with the authority to change the rules. Later the same day, Mod Tikal was banned from the blog after labeling herself a demigirl, which violated the ‘special snowflake’ rule:

On June 1st, Mod Sally joined the blog, but it simply made things worse as Mod Amy immediately suspected that Mod Sonic might have feelings for them. This caused an argument between the three, with Mod Shadow helping to stir up dust by making posts about Mod Sonic’s supposed crush. Knowing he was likely going to be banned, Mod Shadow then made his final post:

Mod Sonic replied the next day confirming Mod Shadow’s removal. He then changed his name to Mod Super Sonic, and removed Mod Knuckles from the Mod List without warning for a violation of the rules (debated below):

After which Mod Sally resigned, unwilling to put up with all the drama. Mod Amy was then unexpectedly banned by Mod Sonic, who had once again changed his name:

Mod Sonic was now the only Mod left, and nobody knew what he would do next. The answer turned out to be… nothing, as 6 days of inactivity was a violation of the rules, and he left the blog. The story get less interesting from here.

Mods Silver and Shadow returned to the blog alongside new Mods Blaze, Classic Sonic, and Classic Amy (both of which claimed not to be the originals). After a kerfuffle involving Mod Shadow claiming that Mod Silver encouraged hate of Mod Amy (which he then took back), Mods Classic Sonic and Classic Amy were removed for inactivity.

FAST FORWARD TO AUGUST 2016, Mod Shadow became angry when a new Mod refused to pick a Sonic character for the blog, instead choosing Nagito Komaeda from Dangan Ronpa 2. They began arguing immediately:

Bio: transmed

• There are only 2 genders - Male and Female

• Pansexuality is just a fancier name for Bisexuality. Even if you believe that there are more than two genders, there are only two sexes. Bisexuality is the attraction to both the sexes.

• You need dysphoria to be transgender. Being trans is not a choice. It’s a very difficult thing to deal with and by saying it’s a choice you are demeaning the struggles that actual trans people face.

• The Fat Acceptance / Health at Every Size movement is bullshit. It’s absolutely okay to be fat. It’s absolutely not okay to spread misinformation that being fat is healthy or that losing weight is impossible.

• The feminist movement is more of a leftist movement than a movement for women right now.

• Reverse racism isn’t a thing because it’s just called racism. If you dislike or are prejudiced against a person simply due to their skin tone, that’s being racist.

• MOGAI identities and neopronouns are not only silly, they are genuinely harmful to the LGBT community.

• Your race, gender and sexuality are only a minor part of you. They do not make you special. They are not your personality.

• Men face struggles too. Men are more likely to be victims of violent assault and almost never win child custody battles. There are hardly any male only centres for victims of sexual assault. Men do get sexually assaulted a significant amount more than people consider as the definition rape only includes penetration, skewing the statistics. Forced oral sex and the like is not counted, which is why male rape statistics seem so low at first glance.

• Women are not inherently goddesses. Men are not inherently evil.

• There is nothing wrong with being cis, white and male. Not being these things also doesn’t make you a better person.

• Words only have the power you assign to them. It’s silly to be afraid of them, irrespective of their usage in the past. All words have a history. By being afraid of them, you only give them more power and continue to dwell in the past.

• It’s absolutely okay to eat the food of and wear the clothes of other cultures as a means to immerse yourself and learn more. Segregation does no good, it never has.

• Your mental illness doesn’t cure you of your sins. It’s not a get out of jail free card if you were present, aware and in control of what you were doing.

every other saturday theres movie night of new illegally/magically downloded movies in the dining hall at 9pm 

no house elves in the kitchens, it’s staff and pukwudgie students (that volunteered) 

a translator spell was invented for students who didn’t speak english very well or at all, or just preferred to speak in their native langauge, and if any other student made any comment like “you’re in america, speak english”, they would spend the rest of their weekends in detention 

the wampus common room has two giant stone knight statues that protect the entrance and open the doors for you, anyone is welcome into the common room, just not the dorm rooms, it’s an incredibly, loud, welcoming, and cozy common room

the horned serpent common room is within the library, the password to get in changes every month, and is usually a phrase from literature, it is almost considerbly messy, books scattered everywhere, spilled potions, almost empty potion bottles, cauldrens laying around 

the pukwudgie common room is on the same floor as the kitchen, they make up the entire floor, it always smells amazing and is as welcoming as the wampus common room, just not so loud 

the thunderbird common room is outside of the castle, in treehouses, the treehouses surround the castle and are all linked together, a very sleepy and very real thunderbird sits in the trees, protecting their rooms from storms or outsiders 

football season and march madness is insane 

the small town a few miles away from the castle is a very touristy town, full of fake anf for fun witch shops 

wampus colors - deep red, orange, gold, and black 

horned serpent colors - silver, green, blue

pukwudgie colors - orange, red, brown, yellow 

thunderbird colors - grey, light blue, dark blue, brown 

quill and ink are only used for final reports, that or typed, normally students just use pens and pencils 

due to a few thunderbirds and horned serpents in the river that goes around the castle the weather is usually rainy and stormy 

if students desire and/or their home life isn’t ideal or safe, they may stay in the castle on holidays and during the summer

many students who excell in potions go on to be chemists 

lots of hand on magic 

the surrounding mountains, forests, and rivers are full of nymphs 

some students bring in video game consoles for their common room and dorm rooms 

starting at 16 students start to get jobs in the small shops within the castle or down in the tourist town 

no indigenous cultures are magic, some actual indigenous people have magical abilties just like the rest of the students, but not their culture 

First and foremost, every day is cranberry pie day

While students do have robes, the clothes they wear underneath the robes are not uniforms. There is an eclectic mix of tastes, from the very serious horned serpent who wears button-downs and ties every day, to the wampus who has enchanted their graphic t-shirt to move, to the thunderbirds and pukwudgies who mutually exist solely for sweater weather.

Every year on James Steward’s birthday, there is a school-sponsored cranberry pie bake-off. Pukwudgie house nearly always wins. Once, thunderbird won and good lord you would think it was the civil war all over again

There are a lot of local professors, of course, so you get some really thick Boston accents, but there are also professors with southern belle accents who serve iced tea in class, professors with Canadian accents, professors with midwest accents, several Native American professors with smooth, lulling accents, and some Mexican professors who slip into Spanish when they get super excited about their subject. There was a visiting professor from Ireland once, and 96% of female students (and some male students) had major crushes on him.

Wampus house is where you go to get body-crushing, soul-lifting hugs

Horned serpents may be scholars, but they are also some of the keenest observers. They watch the whole school from afar and quietly play matchmaker to all of their friends. No one suspects them because - what, horned serpent? No. They don’t know about emotions. Meanwhile, the house president makes a killing on the bet she made to predict the homecoming king/queen. 

Thanksgiving at Ilvermorny is a spectacle that has to be seen to be believed. It’s almost bigger than Christmas. The thanksgiving feasts at Ilvermorny put Hogwarts to shame. Turkey, ham, real cranberry sauce, pies - oh my god so many pies. They’ve got cider, and tea, and cocoa like you wouldn’t believe. There are New English dishes and Southern dishes and Native dishes and Mexican dishes and Canadian dishes and West Coast dishes - essentially it’s a gigantic continental potluck, and it goes on all day long. Also, their pumpkin juice tastes 1000 times better.

While things like dueling and fighting with wands may be frowned upon at Hogwarts, at Ilvermorny it’s kind of just assumed that stuff happens, and the profs are very chill about it. “Just don’t kill each other okay” “just take it outside” “no casting destruction spells indoors” “bring some band-aids with you” “if you break your nose don’t bleed on your homework”

Pukwudgies are a pretty agreeable house over all, if not a bit salty and surly around the edges, they’ll still help you with your homework and bring you soup when you’ve got a cold. But all bets are off when they step onto the lacrosse field. Maybe its a pride thing, but pukwudgies are frikkin animals when playing lacrosse.

Wampus beats pukwudgie at lacrosse fairly often. They don’t actually practice that much, they just kind of win.

This fact has fueled a sports rivalry - friendly in wampus’ eyes, bloodthirsty in pukwudgie’s eyes. 

At wampus/pukwudgie games, horned serpents sell special blends of popcorn. Thunderbirds purchase, hoard, and eat 89% of this popcorn.

Horned serpents and pukwudgies often, though not always, end up having an unspoken rivalry in potions class.

Contrary to popular belief, wampus is not full of athletic jocks. However, they are the most body-positive of all of the schools, and, somewhat ironically to the stereotype, will never judge anyone for their athletic ability. They want everyone to be able to enjoy athleticism and bravery and adventure in the ways they are most able and gifted.

That being said, they do have the kind of student body who, if called upon, could become a minute militia.

When there is a freak hurricane or tornado headed headed for the school, it will be a wampus student who is patrolling the halls and telling students where to go for safety. If there is a bully in school, you had better bet your bottom dollar that s/he will be beaten to a pulp by the next day, and it will be a wampus student sporting mysteriously bloody knuckles.

Pukwudgies are the ones who patch up the bully; they might accidentally wind the bandages a little too tight.

Thunderbirds love a good game of hide-and-seek. They have a tradition of, every halloween, playing hide-and-seek in the dark in the woods.

Horned serpents are the students least often caught for sneaking in contraband into school. Caught being the key word. Most students learn at some point in their education that if you want a nice stiff drink, you go to horned serpent. During secret designated holidays, horned serpent common room turns into a speakeasy. 

Unexpectedly, it is pukwudgies who carry the most weapons and dangerous materials on their person at any given time. If a group of Ilvermorny students were going through a security check, it would be the pukwudgies held at the line while they emptied their pockets (bigger on the inside, of course) of various poisons and weapons. When asked, they would just shrug and say “just in case”.

The town around Ilvermorny is home to several franchised chain restaurants that, although they are no-maj brands, have been taken over by Ilvermorny alumni and thus serve predominantly wizarding patrons. Cups levitate to customers in the Starbucks, there are magic-only options on the menu; the chik-fil-a floor sweeps itself; at dominos the pizzas assemble themselves while the one clerk waits, bored, at the register. There are in-house cues for magic patrons whenever a no-maj walks in. The clerk rings a bell or taps loudly on the counter, or yells out an order than is actually a code word for stop doing magic stuff. It’s like red light green light.

There are some old service tunnels beneath the school left over from WWII and the Cold War. They’re like a labyrinth, and Thunderbird has a monopoly on the maps to the tunnels. Some of the more obscure tunnels have large rooms that are perfect for parties and impromptu speakeasies (lookin at you, horned serpent). Thunderbirds will rent out these rooms to fellow students at a fair and competitive rate.

Unlike hogwarts, Ilvermorny students are more apt to use modern technology. Electrics can be weird around witches and wizards, but they still enjoy a lot of no-maj programming. They use computers instead of quills (but still have to print off their essays, ugh,) and listen to music, and watch TV.

Star Trek has long been a school cult favorite. Pukwudgies have adopted Bones as their pop culture mascot; Kirk is Thunderbird’s, Spock, horned serpent. Wampus vacillates on which of these three they like most, though it must be said, when they start watching Next Gen, many wampus students find themselves enamored with Worf,

There has only been one no-maj to ever make it past the magic shields of Ilvermorny unaided. This instance was in 1985. His name was Chad, who at the time was 1) stoned out of his mind and 2) delivering chinese takeout to a horned serpent pulling an all-nighter. School admin found out later, and there was hell to pay. They never did track down Chad to wipe his memory.

Pukwudgie house does have more than its fair share of healers, so they are definitely the ones to go to for cold remedies, home made soup, the best cures for menstrual cramps, and really good back rubs.

However, they are also the ones to go to for less medical remedies: the best hot cocoa, the most gourmet teas, and home made food.

Each house has a class president who is elected for a two-year term (unless they’re a final year student, in which case they will serve one before being taken over by their VP). They have some influence within their houses, but never as much as they’d like. For instance, the thunderbird president once attempted to institute mid-day dancing parties, but school admin said no.

Pukwudgies are usually not super athletic, but are often very good at things like darts, archery, and waterbaloon fights.

Wampus takes ultimate frisbee very, very seriously.

Thunderbird hosts an ongoing scavenger hunt throughout the semester.

The women of horned serpent blow off steam and the stuffy acadmic pressures of their house by making pillow forts and watching rom coms with each other.

Back in the eighties some wizard created a magic version of D&D, and it has become a weekend favorite of many students across all of the houses.

After graduation, instead of having a class ring, it has become tradition for Ilvermorny students to make a pendant out of their golden cloak buttons.