❁ ⏾⋆.˚ it’s all good ⏾⋆.˚ ❁

I lost my spark and who I was four years ago to grief. It’s been a journey.

What I realized was I was trying to “feel like me again” when I realized that version of myself is dead and gone. She’s never coming back. I now have to meet the new version of me - the woman who survived silent grief that left me unable to recognize myself in the mirror.

It’s a process. It’s a journey. But there’s hope. Getting to know who I am now has been an odd process. You’ll mourn your old self but they’re gone. It’s time to meet the you you are now.

Be gentle with yourself. Nothing is linear. Know there will be terrible days. But it’s who shows up, it’s how you show up for you and how you react. Anxiety is one mean, ugly cunt. Go slow with yourself. Talk and treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. Be there for you. Know when it is too much and you need a break. I have a therapist & I journal obsessively which helps me cope/process things and I always recommend those two things.

But yes, love. There’s hope. There always is even when it sure fucking doesn’t feel like it. I love you. Let me know if you need any deeper advice. I’m really fighting to get at least some grip on my panic disorder before I leave the country. It isn’t easy and one that definitely has pushed me to my darkest corners. But seeing and feeling the progress is a feeling like noooo other.

Subtronics/Griz is playing 24/7

No flockin’ has been stuck in my head

Anything 21 savage honestly