Absolutely No Idea What I'm Doing

sometimes you just gotta slap the reader with heavy handed symbolism as hard as you possibly can for no other reason then the love of the game.

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

Friend of mine calls it active listening. Ah yes we are speaking of tooths. I understand and respond. Here it a tooth image. I have heard you.

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

rb to tell ur mutuals ur fond of them

ezra bridger really is the character of all time. he ragebaits darth vader. he tells people he’s jabba the hutt and lando calrissian. he once said he was commander brom titus TO commander brom titus himself. he successfully recruits space whales, cats, and wolves to help the rebellion. he repeatedly gets captured and always finds a way to escape. he’s a teenage orphan who becomes a rebel lieutenant commander and a jedi padawan, all because he decided to steal a couple of crates from the empire

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

(girl who's been thinking about The Character nonstop for two months voice) you'll never guess what this song reminds me of

Bad and naughty captains get put in the Betrayal Cage to atone for their crimes.

Writer brain is genuinely just having two tabs open at all times. Tab one: the actual conversation you are having with a real human person who deserves your full attention. Tab two: a completely separate scene between two people you invented, playing out in real time, with dialogue you cannot write down because you are currently at a birthday dinner and that would be weird. The real conversation suffers. The invented one is going incredibly well actually

you can gain a reputation for being good with money by just being kind of boring. i don't like alcohol i don't like weed i don't go on dates i don't travel i don't try new food and ive been playing the same video games for 5 years. and my savings? heh. well i just bought a new jacket #my jacket.