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This is fucking killing me. Like what

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you just doordashed yourself a knuckle sandwich pal

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This is what being over 25 on this website feels like

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my three horrible sons that will not stop putting whole hot dogs in the garbage disposal

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theonion

Inviting friends, family, and “lovers of crepes from far and wide,” local man Mark Kovac, 53, held a gathering Friday to celebrate the grand opening of the single worst financial decision of his entire life.

Lulu’s Crepes, which 10 months from now will be referred to by a loan officer as the sinkhole that devoured all of Kovac’s liquid assets, marked the occasion with complimentary food, sparkling cider, and a raffle to win a French-style beret. The café officially opened its doors to the public this week, serving both breakfast and lunch in a part of town that Kovac will soon learn is not as “up and coming” as a real estate broker led him to believe.

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notahorseindisguise

everytime i wear an outfit like this i think about this tweet

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