nope

if my headaches just like

stop

i am so tired of them

especially since painkillers do not work so good

i did nap on a plane

but i was still so tired

and i slept for more then 12 hours after getting home

and my body is soooo fucking tired

why would i need good night of sleep before the whole day of travel

i also don't know

which is why i didn't

apparently

because my brain would not stop creating insane scenarios

that have nothing to do with anything

but sure

that's fun

i do not know

but the past few days am just

panicking about resolving issues

and then panicking some more after resolving them

what's the point, worstie (my brain)

and so much of it is not happening to me

you know

iam just

reeeaaaallyyyy not doing well emotionally

"it's so useful and convenient" they said

that shit never works, jesus christ, it should not be that fucking hard to get an appointment

and it's not even for me!!

but i am freaking out!!

after already making one!!

because what-if-it-was-a-wrong-place-and-a-wrong-choice-i-will-have-to-pay-for-it-but-what-if-they-also-make-me-pay-for-more-stuff !!!

this was much worse than i think anyone could have guessed

astronomically bad

i know that i whine about stuff

but that just to get it out

and i can also understand why things the way that they are

and honestly the whole thing had very little to do with us