Humans of Anxiety

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"Hello, my name is Jessy, I'm 31 years old and, well, I really don't know when it started. I was always different."

"Hello, my name is Rebecca and I'm 22. I think I've had anxiety since I was 14.“

"Hello! I am Akriti. I am 22 years old. I have been facing anxiety problems since teenage“

"Hi! I'm Lucy, I'm 19 and from Oakland, California. This little boy is Leonard! I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 10, but I've never been diagnosed formally with anything else. There's definitely anxiety and depression in there though lol.

I first had a panic attack when I was about 14, and I had no idea what was happening to me. And when I was in 11th grade, I had a period where one of my classes gave me constant panic attacks. About the same time, I also lost a family member. It wasn't a great time, but with therapy and distance, I moved on.

Some days are better than others, and without professional help, the bad days are pretty bad. After the quarantine is over, I'm going to seek an updated diagnosis and medication.

It's definitely a journey, and my family and friends have been super important to me through it all. The bad times won't last forever."

"Hey there! I’m Anouk, almost 23 years old. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety since my teenage years. Due to suppressed trauma I’ve turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol & self harm, and have been hospitalized at the beginning of this year after multiple failed suicide attempts. While I was admitted I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and OCD. I’ve been following intense therapy, both EMDR and cognitive and dialectal behavioral therapy. Even though I still struggle a lot and have my bad days, I’m starting to have faith that things can get better. I’ve still got a long road ahead, but I’m already very proud of what I have achieved in the past year."

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I’ve struggled with anxiety since I was four years old. It started with a fear of being abandoned, where I would scream bloody murder every time my mother would leave me. After being socialized in kindergarten my anxiety got way worse, due to some unfortunate experiences with the adults that were supposed to take care of me. I became terrified of any adult I wasn’t related to, and by the time I started elementary school I was equally terrified of children. Any children.

My social anxiety has been controlling me my whole life and it has made it very difficult to make any relationship I’ve ever had last, and more times than not the relationships have blown up in my face because I couldn’t recognize the fact that they were toxic.

I’ve dealt with a lot of depression over the years. Mostly because of the constant fear of everything and everyone around me, but also because I actually thought I deserved everything that happened to me while I was growing up. The depression was so crippling at one point I couldn’t even open my eyes in the morning without crying.

This past year I’ve really had to acknowledge that you only accept the love you think you deserve, and I’ve had to relearn how to take care of myself. Being so afraid of being abandoned left me unable to function by myself for years, and now, when I was forced to be on my own - and actually survive, I slowly started to feel like an actual person. My own person.

I don’t think I could tell you what my worst experience was growing up, because today they’re all just a big ball of bad. But if I had to say, losing someone you loved so completely would definitely be on the list. However, while it was painful(actually, it was torture), as I’m writing this, I know with absolute certainty I’d never trade the pain or loss for anything. Going through all of that made me dare to live, dare to do things I never would have considered doing before. And while I was depressed to no end, and my anxiety skyrocketed, I came out on the other side. And let me tell you, I was genuinely smiling.

Please keep fighting them. You are not alone in this. Get back up, dust yourself off and punch’em in the gut.