Dreams And Fantasies

If the idea of being cuddled and kissed and doted on after a scene makes you want to crawl out of your skin, that doesn't mean you don't need aftercare, it might just mean that what aftercare looks like for you is being left alone for a little while.

Aftercare isn't one-size-fits-all. Maybe you need a snack. Maybe you want to watch a youtube video. Maybe you just need to have a calm conversation to debrief about the scene you just had. Or maybe you do want to snuggle.

Do what works for you, because doing aftercare you hate because you think that's what it's supposed to look like or skipping any aftercare to avoid a particular kind isn't going to work out well for anyone in the long run.

Also, while I'm here:

check on your dominants. They need aftercare just as much as subs do but we so often see aftercare framed as "dom-comforts-sub" that folks forget about that.

While I'm at it, safewording isn't just for the sub either, and it doesn't make you less of a dom to use it. In fact:

Safewording when you need to makes you a good play partner.

Any reason you feel like safewording is a good enough reason.

You aren't boring or less fun to play with for knowing your limits or having a lot of them. The fun part happens inside the bounds, and knowing where those lines are can only help you have a better scene.