running cold.

lab partner: jonah, because hudson would simply do all of the work and ignore jonah the entire semester. he would wear headphones and drown him out. 

broken elevator: this was the toughest, but i think ultimately, jason is the only one he wouldn’t kill. things would be tense and they would probably argue for a lot of it, but it also might be exactly what they need to resolve some of their issues? i would love to see them have like a four hour bonding session where they realize they are so similar !!!!!!

THE CHAMELEON: ever done something without your parents finding out?

“plenty of things in high school.” before he’d been kicked out, hudson had snuck out plenty of times. he and his theatre friends had done some stupid stuff, like break into their auditorium after hours or get drunk on wine coolers in jenny klein’s basement and sing along to the into the woods original cast recording. as long as hudson was back by morning, his parents were none the wiser. 

THE JUVENILE: do you have a favorite poem? poet?

“poetry is great, but i don’t know if i’m well-versed enough on it to have a favorite.” he was more of a prose man, truthfully. “if i have to pick a favorite, maybe shakespeare? that might be too on the nose, though, considering i’m here at alderidge.” although, some of his sonnets were beautiful.

THE STATUE: do you prefer to blend in or stand out?

answered here !

THE TOMBOY: what is your biggest regret? would you change anything if you could?

“my biggest regret is...” well, it was making teddy leave orson that night, if he were being honest. with the distance and perspective he had now, he wished that he hadn’t even left with orson. if he had made different choices, so much of his life would be different these days. hudson didn’t regret covering things up for teddy, but he did regret them both being in this situation. “letting julian convince me to get a tattoo second year. thank god it’s something i can cover.” 

THE STATUE: do you prefer to blend in or stand out?

“both?” hudson answered honestly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “i don’t mind blending in and putting in the work to be noticed, but when the time comes, i want to stand out. blending in isn’t a bad thing, but dealing with that for the last three years wasn’t exactly fun.” 

THE SUPPORTING ROLE: how do you deal with betrayal?

“not well.” hudson thought about the question, taking a minute before answering. “being betrayed hurts a lot. i’m not sure there’s a right or wrong response to it. i just know it hurts, and usually my method for dealing with it is to get some distance and allow myself to process things before doing anything stupid or reckless. if i don’t get away, then there’s a chance my reaction won’t be pretty.”

THE UTILITY: do you usually instigate arguments or do you try to diffuse them? which would you prefer?

“diffuse them,” hudson answered immediately. “i hate confrontation. can i do it when necessary? yeah,” he absolutely could if the person was jason or jonah. “but i don’t like it. i’d rather solve problems then cause them.”

THE CHAMELEON: ever done something without your parents finding out?

THE COMIC: what's the most ridiculous thing you actually attempted thinking it would work?

THE INGÉNUE: what’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t?

THE JUVENILE: do you have a favorite poem? poet?

THE LEADING LADY: how far have you gone to get ahead? would you go farther?

THE LEADING MAN: if you could play anyone in any form of media, who would it be and why?

THE SCENE STEALER: what traditions or rituals or mantras have you created for yourself?

THE STATUE: do you prefer to blend in or stand out?

THE STUNTMAN: are you an optimist? why or why not?

THE SUPPORTING ROLE: how do you deal with betrayal?

THE TEMPTRESS: what trait are you most proud of?

THE TOMBOY: what is your biggest regret? would you change anything if you could?

THE UNDERSTUDY: who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why?

THE UTILITY: do you usually instigate arguments or do you try to diffuse them? which would you prefer?

It seemed Hudson wasn’t going to give him an inch, and honestly, Jonah couldn’t even blame him. He’d hoped, naively, that Hudson would have been more receptive, that he’d see this for what it was: a half-baked, poorly executed, but nonetheless sincere apology. But it didn’t look like he would be getting off that easy.

“Oh, I’m not here for a swim,” he clarified, awkward. “I thought– you might be? But. I guess I was wrong. So. I’ll just.”

Was he really about to leave? Without saying a single thing he’d come here to say? Was he that much of a coward, incapable of admitting wrongdoing, incapable of accepting fault? No. That wasn’t right – he could swallow down his own guilt like poison, but it was admitting to how cruel and corrosive his heart could be, that’s what always took it out of him.

But instead of an apology, instead of something heartfelt and sincere, something else bubbled out of his chest, spilling from his lips: “Why do you hate me?” Even he could feel how desperate and cloying the words were, unable to stop himself from being so needy for approval from everyone around him, even though he acted as though it didn’t matter. “I mean. Before the cast list.” After Hudson had gotten Macbeth, Jonah understood why he was public enemy number one in Hudson’s life. But before… “I know I’ve been shitty, and I know you don’t deserve it, but before this semester, I thought. I don’t know. You always just seem so. Tense.”

He ruffled a hand through his hair, ducking his head. “I can’t apologize if I don’t know what I did to upset you. I mean, besides the texts. And rehearsal. And all of the mean, shitty things I’ve said behind your back since you got Macbeth. But I’m not talking about any of that,” he said quickly. “I’m just trying to figure out where it all went wrong to begin with.”

.

this...might be the weirdest interaction the two of them had had to date. hudson wasn’t sure what jonah was hoping to gain from this. it’s not like what he said was an apology, just a general comment on the weather and swimming conditions. in truth, he was acting strange, even for jonah. but, he was acting more like the old jonah, the jonah that had existed before hudson had been cast as macbeth and jonah was made his understudy. and that was odd. what was jonah even playing at?

hudson turned to leave, glad the strange interaction was over. but then jonah started talking again, and he had the actual nerve to ask why hudson hated him. was it not obvious? the general obnoxious behavior? the rude comments? the fact that he’d sort of gotten physical with him at a rehearsal? the complete lack of apology for any of it? there were a million reasons why hudson was upset with jonah. 

the most pressing was the fact that he couldn’t shake the feeling that it might have been jonah who had told the police about him in his interview. yes, it could have been any of his classmates who snitched, but jonah had been even more messy than usual lately. who knew what he had told them?

when jonah asked hudson why he’d hated him before, hudson froze. it wasn’t fair to turn this around on him. he had never been outright rude to jonah in the four years that they’d been classmates. maybe he’d always been a bit standoffish, but it was nothing compared to the way jonah had treated him in the last week. it wasn’t fair to make hudson feel bad about that when jonah had been such a dick since the cast list went up. 

“what went wrong to begin with?” hudson repeated, his shoulders tense from frustration. “you really want to have this conversation now?” because once they got started, hudson wasn’t sure things between them would be any better. there was a solid chance they would be worse, especially if jonah laughed at him or made him feel even less talented than he already felt. 

holy shit, this was probably the longest conversation they’d had in months, and it wasn’t crashing and burning. nate didn’t know what to do with himself. a part of him wanted to skip over the small talk and get straight to the elephant in the room, but he also wasn’t entirely stupid and he knew that his recent hooking up with teddy definitely had something to do with it. did hudson think nate was taking advantage of his best friend, or something? either way, he didn’t feel like explaining himself. or didn’t seem a reason to explain anything, actually. but what if hudson felt weird because of jason? suddenly nate wondered if he should even be trying to salvage what bit of friendship they might’ve still had. he was definitely overthinking this, right? 

“oh, nice - where to? the anchor? teddy and i were just there…!” truthfully, the words came out before he even knew what he was saying. nate’s gaze falls down to the table as he peels back the hard cover of a book that’s thick and smells like it hasn’t been opened in at least a decade. “so, uh…i’m doing some creepy dramaturgical work on witches and rituals. what brings you in here? shit, don’t tell me we have a text study paper due.”

.

despite what one might think given his interactions with both jonah and jason, hudson was not a fan of conflict. he would much rather avoid any unpleasant feelings than confront them, which was part of the reason why he hadn’t talked to nate much lately. considering things were just...weird these days, it was easier to spend his time worrying about other things. but this wasn’t so bad. and, honestly, if teddy and nate kept seeing each other, hudson would have to be okay with it. he’d have to get over the unpleasantness of the situation and try to be nice, if just for teddy. 

but then nate mentioned teddy, and hudson froze.  did nate know that that was what this was all about? was hudson that obvious? did everyone know? hudson straightened, trying to move past it. “uh, yep. we went to the anchor.” it wasn’t like they had many other options - birnam wasn’t exactly huge. “no, not that i know of,” he shrugged, knowing that they didn’t. hudson was excellent at staying on top of his school work; he’d never miss a deadline. “i just wanted to do some reading.” maybe he’d find some scottish history or something and do a bit of character work too. 

teddy nodded. and he slowly made his way to hudson’s side, sitting on the bed beside him, wrapping an arm around his best friend’s shoulders. he understood exactly how hudson was feeling right now. kind of. because he was the one police should be going after. not hudson. or mads or chandler. they were all victims of teddy’s mess. one second that changed it all. who knew fighting orson that night would lead to this? teddy just pushed him to the ground with all the pent up anger inside of him. he didn’t want to kill him. he was hurt, he was angry. but teddy is not a murderer. 

“i won’t let anything happen to you,” he muttered. it’s more than a promise. it’s a fact. teddy would move mountains and oceans to keep hudson safe. and things could be solved so easily. if teddy turned himself in to the police… “worst come to worst, i can, you know,” he started, struggling with the idea. he was scared. teddy was terrified. “i can tell the truth. i will keep you out of it. i am the one who killed him.” it’s the first time in months that teddy said those words out loud. his heart is beating so fast and so loud that he can feel it ring in his ears.

“it won’t be that bad,” he muttered then, trying to convince himself, and then hudson. “my moms have money, they can get me out of it. they’ll pay bail and i’ll have to go hide abroad, probably. but it won’t be that bad.” then, teddy looked up, his eyes were watery, but still, he tried to give hudson an honest, hopeful smile. “it will be okay, i promise. you will be okay.”

.

hudson didn’t blame teddy for any of this. maybe he should, but he didn’t. because he knew the truth: teddy hadn’t meant to do it. when he followed orson and hudson into the woods that night, he hadn’t known what would happen. how could hudson blame teddy for a drunken accident? especially because hudson could have stopped it, if he’d just been faster. and now they were wrapped up in keeping it hidden, which was hudson’s fault too. teddy had been ready to turn himself in that night, but hudson couldn’t let him. even now, he wouldn’t let him. 

he leaned in to teddy, allowing himself this comfort. hudson was distressed; he needed someone to calm him down. maybe he shouldn’t have run to teddy for that, but he couldn’t help it. this was the only place he felt safe right now. 

hudson listened, allowing teddy’s words to sink in. if it were anyone else...well, hudson might agree. he didn’t want anyone to go down for this, but he also really, really did not want to go to jail. but it was teddy. the only person hudson knew for a fact that he’d cover up a murder for. the only person hudson would do anything to protect. he shook his head, barely letting teddy finish before he sat up and looked at him. 

“no.” he said, his eyes searching teddy’s. “that’s not going to happen.” the last thing he wanted was for teddy to have to flee the country and go into hiding. the idea of teddy just disappearing without a trace hurt, and hudson knew he couldn’t handle it. “look, we don’t even know what they know. you aren’t going to turn yourself in.” hudson said seriously. “i’m not going to let you do that.”

the police might know everything, or they might know nothing. they had no clue who had ratted hudson out. maybe they should figure out who told on him and what they knew before they acted rashly. “we’ll figure it out.”

“let’s do it. this is the final play, we need to live it up,” he beamed at the idea. knowing mathias, he probably had like three gold crowns stashed in closet. not the cheap ones bought at walmart of course, but ones that probably was worn by distant royalty. julian should know better than to piss off either jonah or mathias, but he supposed it was all harmless fun. it’s not like hudson had a six figure trust fund to him to secure a career like the other two did.  since his audition, julian had been dealing with his own frustrations with their peers, mainly the ones who were still acting like orson’s methods were the only way to run a production. “you say that because you know my mom would bring lemon squares for everyone,” he joked. there hadn’t been a month where he didn’t receive a care package from his mother, a course of action he reasoned was a result of empty nest syndrome. frankly, he wondered if attending school on the west coast somehow brought him closer to his parents. absence made the heart fonder, or maybe they were tired of playing mediator for his brother and sister. “hey now, i had to watch like eight seasons of grey’s anatomy. you never know, because i’ll be the hotshot resident next season,” he countered. securing macduff eased his nerves about his talent, but it wasn’t going to secure him a career post-graduation.

.

“fuck it, we should,” hudson agreed with a smile. honestly, he and julian deserved this. they had worked their asses off for years, and it was about time that it paid off. whatever happened to them after graduation would be a result of this show and the doors it may open; the others didn’t need that. mathias, jonah and teddy all had trusts funds and connections to rely on - they would be fine. “oh my god, please tell me she’ll bring lemon squares.” hudson couldn’t remember a time when his own mother had made them treats for doing a good job. she’d baked for school events, but that was really it. anna was the baker in her family, which had been amazing during high school. but a part of hudson did want homemade treats from a mom who cared. it just sounded really sweet. hudson laughed at julian’s comment, grinning at him. “you’d be a perfect fit. everyone on that show is hot as hell.” hudson had only caught a few episodes here and there, but he was well aware that the cast was known for being sexy. 

DATE & TIME: dunk o’clock LOCATION: The Lake AVAILABILITY: Taken @hudscnwilliams​

It would be a lie if Jonah said he wasn’t the type of person to dwell. In fact, all he did was dwell, pick apart his memories, unwind them and put them back together and unwind them again, trying to turn them inside out in the hopes that he would, some day, understand them.

Thus, it made sense that he found himself stuck on his last interaction with Hudson. Because now that he had the luxury of time, he was doing what he always did: regret. Fixate. Wallow. He already owed Hudson an apology for those texts. At the time of rehearsal, Jonah had cavalierly tossed aside any guilt he felt, thinking what’s one more thing to apologize for? But it became abundantly clear that the weight of two failures was significantly worse than just the one

So, naturally, when he saw Hudson walking down the dock by the lake, he gathered his things clumsily, stubbed out his cigarette, and walked briskly towards his classmate. He didn’t have a plan, per say, he just knew he couldn’t keep living with this guilt eating away at him.

“Hudson,” he called out, as soon as he was within earshot. And then, suddenly, he was there, rooted to the spot, and every sincere, honest thing he felt shriveled and died in his throat. He coughed, and then, just to fill the awkward silence, said, “Bit cold for a swim, isn’t it?” Because he was a coward, because he flinched away from pain, because he knew that Hudson wouldn’t forgive him, and Jonah couldn’t even blame him, but god did it hurt.

.

a few days ago, hudson’s life had finally seemed to be on track. he had landed the lead role in their final show at alderidge, which meant his future after graduation was looking a little bit brighter. things with zahra and teddy were fine, good even. he had to deal with jonah’s bitterness and resentment, which sucked, but he could handle it. things were beginning to look up for hudson, and for the first time in awhile, he’d begun to let his guard down a bit. and then, the police report had come out.

the fact that he was now a person of interest was taking a heavy toll on him right now, if he were being honest. for so long, he’d assumed that he and teddy were just going to get away with it. after all, why were the police looking into the fourth years as suspects now? and why just them? had they ruled out others, or were they just targeting the students because of the orson cult incident at winter masque? either way, it was difficult to swallow – especially because he had no idea who had ratted him out.

it could have been any of them. that was what upset him the most.

one of the more likely suspects was jonah, considering how awful he’d been about hudson getting macbeth over him. after jonah had acted in rehearsals the other day, it seemed like a fair guess. so as he got ready to go on his daily run, he felt like screaming when jonah was just there, waiting by the lake. couldn’t hudson have just one day without this? turning to him, hudson waited, allowing him to...what? apologize? say something to piss hudson off? he wasn’t sure what jonah wanted now.

hudson sighed deeply, narrowing his eyes at jonah. “it’s february in washington. i’d say it is.” he waited for jonah to add anything else, and when nothing came, hudson rolled his eyes.

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗: who knows? time’s a social construct. 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎: teddy and hudson’s room. 𝚠𝚑𝚘: @hudscnwilliams​.

teddy gets there first. it was not safe to talk these things out through a call, worse by text. who knew if it could be used against them. little details that would never cross his mind are now everything he can think about. as he passes up and down the room, teddy tries to remember the exact words he said to the police. he also goes through every significant interaction he has had with his classmates since the semester started. teddy brings back memories from that night and from orson’s funeral. everything and anything that would help him figure out how hudson became a person of interest for the police on this case. why him? why not the actual murderer, you know, him? 

ted doesn’t realize he was holding his breath until the door opens and his best friend appears in front of him. he sighs in relief and gives him a half-smile. “hi,” he says, almost shyly. teddy is worried, for hudson’s safety. and he’s also scared, about facing the consequences of his own actions. unbeknownst to him yet, something dark is brewing inside him. they’re not going down for this.

“how are you feeling after the police report?”

.

numb was the best way to describe hudson right now. it felt like none of this were real; this was some sort of twisted nightmare he was having from guilt. finding out that he was one of the persons of interest in orson’s death was so surreal - because it was true. he just didn’t know how much the police knew. had someone see him leave with orson? or maybe they were suspicious because up until now, he’d always been the understudy? objectively, it was weird timing that now that orson was out of the picture, hudson was the lead. he could see why the police might think he was involved or something.

but it was the not knowing that made it worse. how close were the police to finding out the truth? was hudson going to jail for this? he couldn’t say he loved that idea, but if it meant keeping teddy safe, then...well, he would figure it out. hudson had gotten them into this mess, and he would get them out of it. 

opening their door, hudson quickly shut it behind him. once the lock was in place, his walls began to fall down. he was safe here, for now. inside their shared room, the police weren’t waiting with handcuffs, and their classmates weren’t pointing fingers. it was just hudson and teddy and the horrible unspoken truth of what they’d done that night. he shuddered, his chest feeling tight as he allowed himself to slump down onto his bed. 

a watery laugh escaped his chest at teddy’s greeting, and hudson briefly looked at the other boy for the first time. “hi.” he answered back, worry disfiguring the small smile he sent teddy. “uh...not good.” hudson answered honestly, holding his head in his hands. 

“heidi probably already changed the locks to closet anyways,” julian said with a shrug. a new director meant a new person for the underclassmen to impress which he had no doubt included ratting him out. “all hail, macbeth,” he laughed, knocking his drink against his hudson. “my parents already downloaded the play to read when i told them the news.” he added. his parents, bless their hearts for still attempting to understand his interest in theater. being an actor wasn’t a secured career path, but being on stage was where he belonged and he hoped being macduff would be enough to convince them.“they’re talking about flying up to see the play later in the spring. maybe they’ll stop asking me about medical school now.”

.

“we could go buy one at walmart later,” hudson suggested, raising an eyebrow at julian. “i would love to see jonah and mathias’ faces when i walk into rehearsal wearing it.” hudson couldn’t deny a part of him did want to piss jonah off. his words had gotten to hudson, and getting even in some way would make him feel a bit better. rubbing his face in the fact that hudson was macbeth and he wasn’t would be worth whatever rant it sent the other boy off on. “thank you,” hudson laughed, taking a sip of his drink. he was glad julian did have supportive parents - that definitely wasn’t the case for the majority of the fourth years. it was nice to hear that someone’s parents would be in attendance. “that’s awesome! i hope they do make it, dude. you’re going to be amazing.” hudson couldn’t wait to see julian take on a role like this. it wasn’t exactly his usual type, which would definitely make things interesting. “you’d be a terrible doctor. you’re much better at stabbing people than stitching them back up.” hudson teased his friend, smiling to show he was just kidding. 

nate hears hudson before he sees him, and in this moment, he kinda wishes it was someone else who was there to witness his clumsiness. there were no hard feelings on nate’s part when it came to hudson, but yeah, they hadn’t been the closest of friends in a while. and for once, nate didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. instead, he did what he was always good at, which was redirecting. “seriously, i’m fine. but for you,” nate stands up to curtsy in hudson’s direction, “hail to thee, thane of glamis. a congratulations are in order.” nate puts the rest of the books back except for one and offers his most genuine smile, “you’re gonna kill it, obviously.” nate moves to a nearby table where he’s set up, a small stack of books already there, each focused on the supernatural world. nate glances at hudson. “have you had a chance to celebrate yet?” as long as they kept the conversation light, this would be easy. right? 

.

.

hudson wished things weren’t weird between the two, but he couldn’t help it. it was his fault after all, not nate’s. hudson knew he really had no right to be distant considering he and zahra had pretty much the same sort of set up nate and teddy had, but...well, he was jealous, okay? he was, even if he would never admit it to anyone else. most days he wouldn’t even admit it to himself. and then there was the fact that hudson and jason hated one another; that certainly kept the two from being close. it was hudson’s fault that he and nate weren’t friends anymore, and as much as he wanted to fix that...he wasn’t sure he could. 

laughing awkwardly, hudson set the rest of the books in his hands down. “thank you. and congrats to you, being a witch sounds awesome.” that would certainly be a fun role, and he had no doubt nate would crush it. that was the sort of role he was born for, honestly. “uh, sort of. julian and i went out to get drinks. that’s really it, though,” hudson said, leaning against the bookshelf. this was probably the longest conversation they’d had in months, and it was going...not terrible? that had to count for something, right?

In every life she had ever lived, Helen had never found it hard to find common ground. Alderidge was no exception. Perhaps a few of her peers were, distant individuals who didn’t run in the same social circles as she, with whom she had exchanged few words. Hudson had always been one of those. And yet now, under the dim spotlight, in the witching hour, she had finally found common ground.

(They were tied in other ways too, by one fateful night, but neither of them knew that yet).

“Yeah. I can barely hold the sword, let alone slay the forces of Norway and Ireland in Act I.” Opening night wasn’t that far away - and she was falling behind. “Or,” Helen added on an afterthought, lips ticking upwards into a smile, “betray you at Dunsinane in Act 5.” Standing awkwardly, unsure of whether Hudson wanted to be alone, Helen indicated at the door. “I can - come back later, if you need to be alone. Or we could…practice together? I hear sword fighting is more effective when you have a partner.”

.

hudson couldn’t say he knew helen well, even after four years of being in the same theatre program. he had no problem with her - in fact, he admired the poise she carried herself with. she always seemed above the drama frequently circulating through the fourth years. although with her slipping up and informing the police about the unofficial after party at orson’s, he wasn’t sure she could remain out of it. 

he offered her a sympathetic smile. with the roles she’d had in the past, no one could blame her for not being the best with a sword. “i’m sure you’ll get there. sebastian or julian might be able to help,” he pointed out, although he was sure she’d already thought of that. hudson appreciated her offer - practicing with a partner definitely would help them both to improve, which would make the show better. “that sounds good,” hudson smiled. “i could use all the help i can get. act five is going to be rough.” 

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