𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙿𝙴𝚁

Nathan Explosion

The one you have to worry least about, his parents are sweethearts.

Though his mom will have an eye on you both the whole time.

I feel like Nathan has a record of getting entangled with people who were not so good for him, so it isn't personal or anything she's just on the fence at first.

Once she realizes you're not like that, though, and genuinely love Nathan and, in turn, treat him how he deserves, she's alllllllll over you.

She's going to want your number, your Skype, your Facebook, everything.

She'll pull out the baby pictures too. It greatly embarrasses your brutal boyfriend.

His dad would be the same, on the fence a little, but he overall trusts Nathan a little more.

He might try to plan a fishing trip, though, and Nathan is going to be all over that, so good luck getting out of that if you viscerally dislike fishing.

Overall, don't sweat it! As long as you treat their boy right, they love you, and you might as well be family now.

Toki Wartooth

Oh boy. So I'm not sure you could ever really meet his parents?

He doesn't like talking about them. You probably didn't even learn anything about them until late in your relationship.

If you were to hypothetically meet them, well, you're only meeting his mom.

Aslaug would be dead at this point so there wouldn't be much of an option.

Anja is a cold woman with high unachievable standards. So don't take the fact she won't even speak to you too personally.

If you're religious in the Christian sense, you might have a small chance of approval… but then again, you're dating Toki Wartooth of Dethklok, and you had to learn about him somewhere. Goddamn devil music.

Don't even waste your breath. All that matters is how much you and Toki love each other.

William Murderface

It's not willing on his part at all.

Stella is showing up unannounced, ranting and raving about not telling her he finally got hitched, and he must just want her to die or something.

He's snippy and miserable the whole time. Not miserable in the same sense Pickles was, he's more annoyed than anything.

Stella isn't the most gentle woman. She's abrasive and loud and can be partial to physical violence, but she does care a little bit about her grandson.

She really sucks at showing it, and definitely fucked him up with her parenting style (if his emotional constipation and short fuse didn't make that clear) but she did step up when his parents died instead of letting him go through the system, so.

All this to say, she's giving you a shotgun talk.

William will pry it out of her hands, of course, and curse her out for it, but it's happening !!

After that, though, don't worry, you're family now. Actually, maybe you should worry.

This means that whatever small politeness she whipped up before is long gone, you're a Murderface now, you are going to get treated like one.

Although William couldn't care less about his grandmother's opinion, he cares about yours. So, to see you embracing his family in full stride without getting scared off is more than heartwarming to him.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Again, it's fully unwilling on his end. It would honestly have to be something you want.

I think it's needless to say his relationship with his mom is weird. He truthfully wouldn't mind never seeing her again, especially after the events of fatherklok.

But again, if you really, really, want it then, yeah, he'll take you down to Sweden.

Surfetta doesn't have much of an opinion on you. What you are to her son is no concern to her.

She's most likely tipsy the whole time and disappearing for periods at a time.

The whole thing will feel like a waste of time, and Skwisgaar is stressed.

-He absolutely does not believe you're real.

The first time you show genuine interest in him, he laughs. Not a happy laugh — a mean laugh. He thinks it's a joke. A prank. Someone put you up to it. He'll look around for hidden cameras or Toki giggling in a corner. When he realizes you're serious, he short-circuits. His brain just... stops. He stares at you for an uncomfortably long time. Then he says something like "you're fucking weird " and walks away. He comes back five minutes later. He doesn't explain why.

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- Physical touch is a battlefield.

He's not used to being touched kindly. The band roughhouses, sure — Pickles punches his arm, Skwisgar tackles him, Toki hugs him (he hates it, no he doesn't). But gentle touch? Someone running their fingers through his hair? Someone holding his hand? He freezes. His whole body goes rigid. He might genuinely not know how to respond. Teach him. Be patient. He'll flinch at first. Then he'll lean into it. Then he'll start touching you back — clumsy, hesitant, like he's afraid you'll break or disappear.

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- His love language is... sabotage.

He doesn't know how to be nice. Being nice was never modeled for him. So instead, he shows affection by being less terrible. He won't insult you (as much). He won't make fun of your interests (to your face). He'll let you pick the movie without complaining for a full ten minutes. He'll share his food — this is enormous, do not underestimate it. William Murderface sharing food is practically a marriage proposal.

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- He's incredibly insecure about his body.

The belly. The acne scars. The general... Murderfaceness of his appearance. He's convinced you're settling. He'll make self-deprecating jokes constantly — "don't look too long, you'll go blind" — but underneath the jokes is real fear. He needs reassurance. Not constant, over-the-top praise (he won't believe it), but small, consistent reminders that you want him. A hand on his stomach. A kiss on his shoulder. A casual "you look good today" that you don't make a big deal out of. He'll remember every single one.

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- He's surprisingly gentle in bed.

You'd expect him to be rough, aggressive, maybe even mean. He's not. He's terrified of hurting you. His whole life, he's been told he's too much — too loud, too ugly, too weird, too violent. He doesn't want to be too much for you. He'll ask permission before everything. He'll check in constantly. "This okay? You good? Tell me if it's not good." He needs verbal confirmation. He needs to know you're enjoying it. He might cry afterward. Not sad crying — overwhelmed crying. Don't make a big deal out of it. Just hold him.

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- He's obsessed with your smell.

He won't admit this. Ever. But he steals your clothes. Just one shirt, or a hoodie, something that smells like you. He sleeps with it when you're not there. He buries his face in it and breathes. If you catch him, he'll get defensive — "it was on the floor, I was gonna wash it, fuck off" — but his ears will be red. Don't call him out. Just let him have it.

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- He's weirdly possessive.

Not in a healthy way. He knows it's not healthy. He can't help it. He doesn't like you talking to other people — not because he doesn't trust you, but because he's convinced everyone is better than him. Why would you stay? Why wouldn't you leave? He'll get quiet and sulky when you mention friends or coworkers. He won't tell you why. You have to drag it out of him. When he finally admits he's scared you'll find someone better, he'll say it like he's confessing to a crime. Hold him. Tell him he's an idiot. He'll pretend to be annoyed. He won't be.

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- He expresses affection through music.

He can't say I love you. The words get stuck. They feel wrong in his mouth — too soft, too vulnerable, too easy to use against him. So he writes songs instead. Terrible, ugly, beautiful songs that he'll never show anyone. They're not Dethklok songs. They're just... for you. He leaves them on your pillow. He pretends he doesn't know how they got there. Don't mention them. Just keep them.

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- He's a nightmare to live with.

Leaves dishes everywhere. Forgets to do laundry until he's wearing the same socks for a week. Sleeps at odd hours and wakes you up at 3 AM because he wants to watch something loud. He's not malicious — he's just never lived with anyone who cared. He doesn't know how to share space. You'll have to teach him. He'll fight you on everything. He'll eventually, grudgingly, start putting his dirty clothes in the hamper. He'll act like it's a massive inconvenience. He'll secretly be proud of himself.

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- He's fiercely loyal.

Once he lets you in — really in — he will never let you go. Not in a creepy, locked-in-the-basement way. In a you're mine and I'm yours and I'll kill anyone who hurts you way. He doesn't have much. He doesn't have family, or stability, or any idea what he's doing. But he has you. And he will protect that with the same violent, desperate energy he brings to everything else. Someone looks at you wrong? Murderface is already standing up. Someone breaks your heart? He won't say I told you so. He'll just hold you and let you cry on his shoulder and pretend his eyes aren't wet too.

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- He's terrible at asking for what he wants.

He'll hint. He'll sulk. He'll make passive-aggressive comments until you figure it out. He won't just say he wants to cuddle, or that he missed you, or that he's had a bad day and needs you to hold him. You have to read between the lines. "This couch is cold" means sit next to me. "You were gone a long time" means I missed you, don't leave again. "I don't care" means I care so much it's killing me. Learn his language. It's exhausting. It's worth it.

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- He's secretly soft.

Not in public. Never in public. In public, he's William Murderface — bassist for Dethklok, disgusting, abrasive, loud. But when it's just the two of you, when the lights are low and he's tired and his guard is down... he's soft. He'll rest his head on your chest and let you play with his hair. He'll mumble things he'd never say to anyone else. He'll fall asleep curled around you like a startled animal finally deciding to rest. Don't mention it in the morning. He'll deny everything. But you'll know.

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- He doesn't know how to say thank you.

So he shows you. He'll buy you something — not romantic, just practical. A new phone charger because yours was fraying. Your favorite snack because he noticed you were out. He'll fix something in your apartment without being asked. He'll remember a small thing you mentioned once, months ago, and bring it up like it's nothing. He's saying thank you. He's saying I see you. He's saying I'm trying.

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- He's terrified of being abandoned.

Everyone leaves. His family left. His bandmates have their own lives. Why wouldn't you leave? He waits for it constantly — watches for signs, reads into your silences, assumes the worst. If you're quiet, he thinks you're angry. If you're late, he thinks you're gone. He needs reassurance. Not constant, but regular. A text when you're on your way. A hand on his back when you pass. A "I'm not going anywhere" said casually, like it's obvious. It's not obvious to him. Make it obvious.

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- He loves you like he's never loved anything.

It scares him. He doesn't know what to do with it. He's spent his whole life hating himself — his body, his face, his personality, his everything. And then you came along and looked at him like he was worth something. He doesn't understand it. He doesn't trust it. But he can't let it go. He loves you in the only way he knows how: messy, loud, defensive, and completely, terrifyingly sincere.