My Life

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ɪɴᴅᴇʀᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ʙʟᴏɢ<3

𝐻𝑎𝑖𝑖! 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑊𝑒𝑙𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒:)

𝑀𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝐷𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚x𝑟 / 𝐷𝑜𝑙𝑙 <3

𝑃𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑠: 𝑆ℎ𝑒/𝐻𝑒𝑟 & 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦/𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑚

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i struggle with an ed & talk about it and my life a lot.

(and use their tags 🏷)

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t-worded blogs:(

Dreamxr1127(5K), Dreamxr27(1k), A few more, Skinnydreamxr15(200)

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Tags 🏷:

#Dreamxr has depression > depressed shit

#Dreamxr shit posts > impulsive shit & updates

#Dreamxr has an ED > talking ab my ED

#Dreamxr is intoxicated > self explanatory

#Dreamxr’s TED talks > rants ab topics(always has TW)

#Dreamxr SH > talking ab my SH journey

(6 years clean in self harm )

#Dreamxr answers > answering questions

#Dreamxr ask’s > asking y’all questions

#Dreamxr does drugs > talking about drugs and stupid shit

#Dreamxr can’t sleep > i can’t sleep

more to come, maybe..

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𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘶𝘱 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨 : @skinnnydoll16

old blog name: @skinnydreamxr16

She `gets upset, I just say Im sorry because I have no idea how to explain to her that the reason I didn't speak was because I was so in my head about the fact that Im in a room full of people and I've some how convinced myself they all think im fat asf. Anyways, yea didnt fully realize difficult this would be since she basically lives with me.

First time I came on 3D Tumblr I was 11, most recent time I was on here I was about 17.

I am a few months away from being 21, which is so insane, my life is entirely different than it was back then.

I got help, went to therapy had two absolutely fantastic therapist, worked through my trauma to a functional degree. They helped me move out of my family home, and I now live alone, and am in University which is an absolute mystery how I got in after graduating highschool late, but I am finishing up my first year now.

I am no longer dating the guy I was dating at 17, thank god. He was definitely sexually abusive, along with very weirdly manipulative and controlling. But what guy you date at 17 isn’t. Currently, I am dating the girl I mentioned on here when I was I think 15 (def a different blog that got removed). Which is so funny, because back then I was very much like I think im a lesbian but I wanted to "try" both to be sure, now im 21 and can officially say women do it better, lol.

Long story short we go to the same uni now which is wild considering we were LD.

Life feels like on paper its amazing, but in reality I feel like I have no control over anything.

And the last time I felt control over anything, like myself, was when I was deep in my 3d, I looked better, I had control, so i felt better in that regard and its all I want. I want to be thin again..

Haven’t spoken to yall in awhile.

Work:

Um well I quit my old job and got a new one then got fired because of my medical issues.

Friends:

My so called best friend cut me off because I refuse to enable her addiction behaviour. Whether that’s drinking 24/7 or her staying w an abusive bf. Thankfully I never was all that attached to her.

I went from having a group of like 20 girls who were my friends and all friends w each other, to like six people? Tragic wtv.

Mental health:

I’ll be getting an official diagnosis for autism soon enough. Big shocker there.

But I’m crazy depressed rn.

Love:

Uh still in a relationship with the same guy I went to Walmart with. Unfortunately I’m not super into him anymore and I have no idea what to do. It’s partly because of his actions during our relationship and also just my feelings. but I think my feelings towards him changed because of his actions.

Now before the moral police harass me let me just say idc this is my blog. If u don’t relate, u don’t relate. Move on.

Um I’ve kinda been into this other guy he’s a friend of a friend. Nothing will happen there, at least not while I’m in a relationship. But he’s cute and nice and gets me..

Mental health again /family:

I genuinely can’t.. I’m at my wits end. Less then one month away from being 19 and I still feel just as depressed as I did when I was 17,16,15,14,13,12,11,10,9,8,7.

seems like i do these every 6 months😂

• i have a boyfriend now! (started dating feb 3rd) it’s the boy i talked about going a date with.. we also went to walmart and held hands? anyways it’s going good

• i started working at my old old job again (august) and no one i knew last time i worked there works there anymore. on the bright side i’m pretty much best friends with all the girls who work there and we’ve become a big group of gals. who go clubbing, throw parties, hangout, etc

• i have tried my best to say recovered from my ed and y’a know i relapsed with binge and purging a few times but not too much. um i actually managed to lose some weight during all this up until recently where i (legit over the last three weeks) have gained so much weight like i’m so bloated and i have no idea what’s wrong (i could be pregnant… ill do a test just to be sure i’m not)

so i went on a date with this guy… he’s pretty cool we laugh a lot but i’m an idiot and don’t realize when people like me whenever i’m not purposely trying to get them to like me.

anyways i thought this was a hangout at first because as i previously mentioned i’m a dumbass👍

BUT it was super fun!! we went thrifting, had dinner (he paid), went to walmart (he paid), went to a shoppers parking lot then a gas station(he paid)

even when i didn’t want him to pay (me the whole time) he still would like “battle” me until i just let him pay… also u customer service people how dare you always listen to him instead of me🫵

i mean i always make the guy pay for the girl at my store too but like IM DIFFERENT😭

anyways it was super fun we took a bunch of videos and pictures of us hanging out!

OH WE HELD HANDS IN WALMART AND IT WAS GREAT! (ik u think i’m a toddler now, but no i just haven’t had soft physical touch in years)

ok u guys know that me and the males are at war always but he.. i could actually see myself dating and hanging out with all the time.

this is no shade to him because i think he’s so cute but i feel like he’s not out of my league which is probably why i see myself dating him.. i feel like we are exactly equal vs usually i feel guys are below my league or out of my league!

anyways uhh he normally doesn’t stay up late so i would be surprised if he’s just sleeping all day but he hasn’t texted me yet😅

also he knew i’m anxious asf and shit he’s so sweet ab it

ive been gone for awhile, my therapists were both on vacation so i was trying not to come on here to often because i didn’t wanna relapse too hard..

uhh but to catch y’all up!

- i have a job in my mums friends store. i’m basically gonna run the entire store by myself while she’s on vacation for the rest of july and august 🧍‍♀️

- I HAVE TWO ADORABLE CATS!!! they’re so cute ahh i wanna post pictures but i’m scared if my friends see it they’ll recognize them😅(im paranoid ok) one is mostly black with a small patch of white on her stomach, and her sister looks more like a traditional tuxedo cat)

-i have two serious BF applications from two guys ik and theres a third guy but he’s not fully bf material (story for another time)