How to Date Yourself

I really didn’t think that I could do it! (I mean technically I didn’t do it for the last 2 days - but I had game nights where a phone was more ideal than a laptop so a lot of my minutes were from that). 

It really was surprising to me that if I was just more aware of my phone usage, I could really make a difference. Especially since sometimes an hour of my 2hr block would be phone calls with my parents. What I’ve learned is that I just have to be more mindful of social media scrolling time. That’s where I get sucked in and lose time in my day. 

I added in an extra day (May 12th) just to show that if I wasn’t paying attention, it does go up quite a bit. So the move from now on is to not have my phone by my side all the time, and maybe even shorter time limits on apps? 

Another lesson I’ve learned is that if I miss out on anything posted on social media, it’s not the end of the world. I think I would always be drawn to go on to see what everyone’s up to. But really, that time can be spent on me and the people in my immediate circle. If I miss out on a story or a tiktok, I’m not missing out on anything that will drastically change my life.

If you haven’t watched “The Social Dilemma” yet on Netflix, go do it now! It definitely opened our eyes to phone usage, specifically social media usage. So here’s the challenge to try to limit and disconnect from the online world and be more present in real life.

ONLY 2 HOURS OF PHONE USAGE ACROSS THE BOARD FOR ONE WEEK.

That means phone calls, video chats, texting/messaging, social media, youtube, taking photos, note taking, and everything else that people use their phones for. 

There will be a reward at the end of this week. There will be light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going! And don’t forget (like snaps this morning)!

So I didn’t actually watch the movie peachbun told me to watch... It was too intense. So I wanted “Promising Young Woman” instead (still a peachbun rec). 

Don’t mind my messy writing, I usually write them before bed and lately I’ve been quite sleepy. (Two days are combined bc night shifts mess up my concept of time and that’s all I could do heh)

Day 1 • Mar 24, 2021

Lead a productive tutorial today (critique)

Learned several new moves rollerskating, all thanks to my new protective gear

Used tools to fix the loose front wheels

Spent time with loved ones & laughed a LOT

Bicyclist actually stopped at the stop sign for me! Great dude!

Day 2 • Mar 25, 2021

Discussed “happiness” with a friend & came to the understanding that it’s not that you deserve to be happy, but you deserve the freedom to try to earn the things that make you happy

Ate a yummy homemade burger

Mom checked in on me, since I was locked in my room 

Replied as well as I could to a student email

Day 3 • Mar 26, 2021

Finally posted the goddamn assignment grades

Dyed a friend’s hair + spa night + mindfulness + taking care of friends

Drawing on someone’s back and having someone draw on your own back is incredibly relaxing

Friend purchased dinner for me to express their gratitude 

Day 4 • Mar 27, 2021 

Dyed my mom’s hair and it was relaxing and felt awesome to take care of someone

Driving is wonderful - picked up groceries and dinner for me and my mom - it feels good to take care of someone

Made many many many hamburger patties - grateful for the freedom to buy whatever food I want + I’m better at buying only what I will definitely eat!

Day 5 • Mar 28, 2021  

Yummy food celebrating friends’ birthday

Baked a cake

Looked up kittens for adoption!

Inspired to get a stick & poke kit!

Day 6 • Mar 29, 2021 

Forever grateful to my therapist for allowing me to be honest and vulnerable, but I feel like there are still unresolved feelings? I’m not sure what it is...just this restless, anxiety, I guess? 

Freely ordered delicious takeout as a reward for being honest in therapy!

Mom emailed the individuals about the cats

Good, constructive conversation with a trusted friend

Day 7 • Mar 30, 2021 

Played SUPERLIMINAL... life changing! Video games as an art form 

Stick & poke... I’m seriously considering it

Fried dumplings for dinner

Read the anxiety & trauma comics 

"Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.”

The Five Senses Exercise

One example of a mindfulness exercise is called the Five Senses Exercise. The goal is to calm your mind by using your five senses to focus on your environment instead of your thoughts.

Here are the steps to complete this exercise:

First, notice 5 things that you can see. Look around you and become aware of your environment. Try to pick out something that you don’t usually notice.

Second, notice 4 things you can feel. Bring attention to the things that you’re currently feeling, such as the texture of your clothing or the smooth surface of the table you’re resting your hands on.

Third, notice 3 things that you can hear. Listen for and notice things in the background that you don’t normally notice. It could be the birds chirping outside or an appliance humming in the next room.

Fourth, notice 2 things you can smell. Bring attention to scents that you usually filter out, either pleasant or unpleasant. Catch a whiff of the pine trees outside or food cooking in the kitchen.

Finally, notice 1 thing you can taste. Take a sip of a drink, chew gum, or notice the current taste in your mouth.

Films - We’re bringing back an old favourite challenge. Recommend movies for each other! Write your thoughts, grievances, and questions. You have a week and a half (April 3). 

Snaps: Suspiria

What are you thankful for?

Recently at work, I’ve been so busy. That essentially translates busying running around and late documentation. Further translation - I need to stare at a bright computer screen for long periods of time barely blinking and frantically staring and clicking options. This happens a few time in my shift, in addition to all the other times I need to look at a computer or phone screen. My eyes feel so tired after a shift, and I just feel like I need to cut down my screen time.

This inspired me to challenge myself to a no tech day every month. Given life’s current situation, completely no tech is difficult. I mean how else am I supposed to connect with the outside world? But what I can do is significantly lessen it. 

Rules:

No social media bc scrolling and getting sucked in, therefore turn “off” all social media apps

Really limit phone use to music or essential calls/texts 

No watching TV shows/movies/Youtube videos 

No using laptop unless it’s Youtube for playing music (or checking essential work emails

I tried it yesterday and it worked pretty well! There were some bumps along the way, like previously decided date night (involving a movie). But all in all, most of what I did did not involve electronics, and it made me aware of how mindlessly I click the social media folder on my phone ready to scroll. 

Bottom line: it takes intention to accomplish goals, but it’s doable. Oh, and a break from electronics really made me feel lighter. 

Sending love,

“In the future I’m gonna be wondering why I didn’t just do it now, so I’m going to just do it now so future me doesn’t have to wonder about that!”

My phone does not work the same as peachbun’s and when I was trying find the average time per day I had to pull out my calculator and add minutes together, then translate them to hours and divide for average AND I HATE MATH. Oh, and then I realized that I didn’t subtract my maps time and other allowed apps when we made this challenge. I was NOT going back in to do more math.

So I just used the “timer” function on my phone and it works! And that’s the goal right, to limit screen time? Basically I set a “timer” for 45min per day on each social media app (instagram, facebook, pinterest, tumblr, and snapchat) so that if I’m on it for longer than 45min, it locks out and doesn’t let me go on it until 0000hrs the next day.

I’m proud to say that I haven’t locked out since I started the app and it’s really made me mindful of how much time I spend on each app (it tells you how many minutes you have left). 

I’ve decided I’m going to keep this limit on, and potentially bring it down to 30min if I don’t lock myself out for the rest of the month!

Here’s to being more present and not stuck to a screen! 

Love,

Since the last challenge was for the year, here's a monthly challenge.

Limit screen time! You can be doing other things and not letting time tick away.

Doesn't count: maps when driving, video chatting friends, games

Counts: scrolling social media, youtube - useless/mindless screen time.

Total screen time (January 2020): 5hrs per day

Fix your eyes babe. You can do it.

Hello love, it’s Snaps.

I have a few challenges for you over your well-deserved winter break. Let’s break it down: 

Be as consistent as you can in daily life. And I say as you can because there will always be surprises and unexpected events in store. You can’t beat yourself up for what you don’t know is coming. Do your best - as in if you feel yourself making excuse after excuse, kick yourself in your cute boooot and get shit done. But if at the end of the day all didn’t go as planned due to true unexpected circumstances, deep breath. Tomorrow is another day.

Eat well and drink lots. Eat when you feel hungry, but if you’re too overwhelmed, try to eat at semi consistent hours. Your body needs energy. It’s not going to help to eat when you feel faint or say “yea I should’ve ate a few hours ago”. Drink - No, not fancy mixed drinks honey. Well, not all day that is. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. It’ll help you feel better overall. Keep a water bottle by something you touch often - your phone, your mouse, a book. So when you reach for whatever that item is, drink a sip of water too.

GET SHIT DONE. Yes, that’s all. You’ve got a to-do list, but you can totally tackle it.

Do something creative and unrelated to school/work. Your brain needs a break. Even if you don’t feel brain tired. And it’s not a bad idea for it to be stimulating (i.e. not plainly staring at a screen). You won’t feel like you’re wasting time if you’re doing something where you aren’t just a lil potato. 

Love yourself. 2020 was hard as shit. There were so many ups and downs and many challenges that came your way. You may not feel like you’re where you want to be, but it’s still something to celebrate that you’ve grown to where/who you are today. A little pat on the back. An extra take out meal. An extra 15min in the tub. Just something small daily to remind yourself that hey, you’re doing what you can. 

Wishing we could have our yearly downtown dates/NYE sparklers, but sending love nevertheless. 

Ouf. Has it really been almost a full year since our last challenge? Let’s start the new year off right. 2020 was a sh*t show. 

This is a spending/fashion challenge for the whole year. There are only 2 rules: 

Out with the old and in with the new. If you bring something new into your wardrobe, something must go. But not just anything, it must be of the same item. Found the softest t-shirt ever? One of your t-shirts must go. 

Don’t buy anything new unless A) it’s necessary/ its life has ended or B) you’re absolutely sure this is worth the price. (But then again don’t forget about rule #1).

so like, you put in 20 hours of work and you get to go a mini vacation on the weekend. that’s fair, pretty cute

but like? what if you’re really struggling over something? are you going to keep punishing yourself until you find something?

the point of this work-then-play system is so you can discipline yourself enough to reach your end goal. it’s a good system

except when it spreads into other areas of your life. you start to feel guilty for sleeping 10 hours, for taking a break when you haven’t really been working that hard anymore. like you’re on vacation and then you start to feel really shitty because hey what if my classmate is working really hard doing X thing and now when I get back I’m like super behind? and like what if i dont actually deserve this vacation because i know i could have worked harder?

okay first thing

baby, trying your best does not mean killing yourself to get it done. it does not mean stretching past your limits until you metaphorically (& sometimes literally break). i used to think this way. i used to hate when people told me to try my best because i felt like they were asking what i asked of myself. and then i romanticized the pain too - i.e. suffering is my life and it’s what makes my work good so i should on suffering and this is how i’ll exist until the end. no! your work is good because you’re good at it, not because of how much you injure yourself in the process. does everything you do have to be ridden in blood and sweat? 

learn to be good at failing. like. dealing with how it feels to be bad at something is really important, imo.

i believe that you can’t change how you feel so easily. feelings can be really fast or really slow and they don’t always align with reality. that’s okay, it’s just how it works. but you’re smart, okay? you’re a smart person. so you know you have to be patient with yourself. wait until the feelings catch up and until then, keep doing what you know is good for yourself. that’s what being a mature, responsible adult is. it’s not when you stop being silly or enjoy the things you learned to love as a kid (& ofc u can continue falling in love with new things). being an adult is taking responsibility for your feelings about other people, about yourself, about the world. it’s acknowledging how you feel and when you feel. 

you don’t just magically become emotionally responsible when you turn of legal age - you’ll still feel the same as when you were 17 for some things. the feelings don’t always come and go as easily and it’s still hard. but to be an adult is to know this and then bridge the gap between a messy place and the hard edges of the outside world.

and no, the world isn’t always hard and difficult, it can be beautiful and serene and breathtaking. but it’s not going to change itself for you. you will change yourself for you.