pairing: hueningkai x fem!reader
genre: childhood bestfriends, fluff, smut,
warnings: emetophobia, alcohol
the mornings you would wake up in your youth, when the sun would glow a deep orange across the streets, trees and their leaves dangerously still, birds chirping like they are calling for something unknown, are the days that you still wish hadnt slipped away from your grasp so soon. the days you would aimlessly dart around fields of grass and flowers, with your close friends, or the days you would all spend splashing droplets of glistening water from rivers and lakes on eachother. something you cant seem to grab a hold onto. the fact that your teenage days are practically over.
the summer that you had turned 17. the best and worst summer of your life.
“hey! beomgyu!” the familiar voice of your close friend soobin calls from beside you. followed by a gust of dry sand being thrown towards the boy who had been caught off-guard. you throw your forearm directly infront of your eyes that were painfully winced shut, before pulling it back down to reveal beomgyu frantically wiping at his face and sifting his fingers through his dark shiny hair, in attempt to remove the grains of sand that had meticulously covered his face, and soobin throwing his whole body backwards as he grips his stomach with his mouth hanging open in amusement, cackles escaping with his every breath.
that day you decided to take an hour long walk to the beach. you were just an optimistic bunch of teenagers thinking you could take on anything. by the time you got to the beach, yeonjun and taehyun were worn and had no energy left to enjoy the warmth of the soft sand that day.
“who wants to come in the sea!” kai turns toward you all, immediately followed by multiple groans of the other boys and a slightly squeaky knowing laugh from beomgyu. you sighed as you used your hands that were once fanning your warm sweaty face to push yourself from your grainy towel. he shoots you a grin that is obnoxiously plastered across his face. the smile of someone you will never forget. you flashed back a small playful smirk as you took off your over sized tshirt as you turned to huening kai, “RACE YOU!” you challeged as you were already sprinting your way towards the large body of water ahead of you.
however you had no chance in winning as he quickly caught up swiftly brushing against your arm as he sped up infront of you. knowing he had already beat you in the race that you had offered up, you slowly surrendered, your body giving up the tension you had built in order keep your pace steady, arms beginning to wobble and flail at your sides as you brought your running to a stop. kai seemed to notice and as he turned his head towards you. he also brought his sprint to an end, only to face you with his hands on his hips, a triumphant grin smeared across his lips. a breathy but soft chuckle left your chest as you furthered your steps towards him clutching at your stomach in effort to steady your breathing.
he held his arm out as if he was trying to grow wings, opening a space beside himself for you to slip into, his chest still falling just slightly heavy. he wrapped the tips of his fingers around your shoulder. it fell so naturally, your whole life you had been bestfriends. nothing was unusual to you and it wasnt unusual to the rest of your friends either.
just reminiscing on these kinds of moments make you wonder where it all really went wrong. because it didnt take long for everything to come crashing down.
now, you just turned 19. you rarely contact yeonjun and taehyun, never kai or soobin. it all gets complicated trying to explain. it doesnt make sense to yourself even. you sometimes wish it wasnt so easy for people to catch feelings for people that were meant to stay as your friend.
everyone except for you and beomgyu had left for college, he is the only one keeping you from being super lonely all of the time. its great to have him over, he has a charm that you certainly cant deny, whether its his looks, his humor or just his personality, youd rather not be the one to put your finger on it.
“well you do stay in your room most days, y/n” he says in a tone that just makes sense with his sentence. you sigh knowing he is suggesting you search for a job. “beomgyu, youre the exact same as me. when we arent hanging out you know youre just at your computer or sleeping.” he shys his face away, into one of your pillows with a grin flashing his teeth.
“y/n, remember that time we played at a bar?”
any mention of the days you and your friends would act like rockstars send you right back.
the days that rain would aggressively pour and the clouds would appear a depressing gray in the sky, you would all hide away in kais garage, looping songs that would be written by you all or just the occasional cover. although they werent your favourite kinds of days, as youd miss the way the sun shining over you would naturally put a smile on each of our faces, instead the pouring of the rain usually suggested that youd have to listen to the boys bickering over who had messed up the last line on the song. even through all of this you cherish those days alot.
“god i really thought that us finally getting a gig meant that we were going places” beomgyu adds to the rest of his sentence. you huff a giggle as you continue to fold away more clothes, thinking of all the days you spent in kais garage.
“you know. i do miss the band.” you admit to the boy making himself right at home in your own bed. his face conveys an emotion you werent expecting. laughter, to some sort of contort in confusion or disbelief. but not this time. he flashes you an almost sympathetic smile, soft and understanding.
“me too. it kinda sucks, not being able to see them?” he asks in a completely rhetorical manner.
all you could offer in return was a hum in agreement. because he was right. you miss them all. and you cant help but feel like the reason you dont all see eachother anymore is you. you wont mention it because you know beomgyu will just turn down your admission, out of pity, or maybe he really means it.
weeks go by, you stay sitting in your room alone half the time, the other half beomgyu is there pestering you about various things.
the night of the gig. it all went so amazingly, just until it didnt. when you were on the stage with all those youre closest with, you felt like you were right where you belonged, like it was your fate. a huge crowd cheering for you and your best friends. yeonjun and you supporting eachother while you sang harmonies together, knowing that you had the rest of your biggest supporters behind you.
kai had always knows that you had wanted to be a singer. when you were only 8 you would spend days in kais back garden, singing together while kai would drill beats into any surface he could using sticks like he was a professional drummer. even though you were both young, you both knew exactly where you had wanted to be. by the time you turned 18 you really thought you had it. you thought that your 8 year old dreams would come true.
that was until the gig finished and you decided to all stay at kais that night for a drink, as he had a free house. none of you had intended for the night to get messy. it started out perfect, you all spoke about how you had felt performing on the stage that night. beomgyu and kai were ecstatic, drunkenly fist bumping eachother a couple more times than they would if they were sober. taehyun and yeonjun were sat having a deep drunk conversation. you have to admit, you had more alchohol to drink that night than you shouldve, almost drunk enough to wake up the next day not remembering anything from the night before. you were left to talk to soobin due to the others being in their own worlds.
it was nothing serious that you had talked about, especially to the point where soobin started talking at you rather than with you. his words faded into light mumurs as all you could focus on now was the fact you began feeling nauseous, but you didnt want to interrupt whatever it was that he was so invested in talking about. however it didnt take long for you to run to the bathroom covering your mouth in fear of throwing up in kais room. soobin followed after you rather quickly in a panic.
it was kind of him. he held your hair back as you threw up into kais toilet, rubbing your back and assuring you that youd be okay, while feeding you water and handing you tissues to clean yourself off.
you muttered sitting against the wall next to the toilet. he chuckled at you before assuring you that it wasnt a problem. you remember sitting in silence for a good minute or so. until soobin decided to break the tension.
you hummed before turning your attention to him. his glare staring straight through you, it made you nervous. the way he looked at you that night.
“look. i know its not the best time, and i dont wanna ruin things for us or anyone else, but i think i should tell you..”
you felt your heart sink. it felt like the strings inside your heart were slowly detatching themselves, in knowing what the confession that follows will be. again a silence wrung out, for just a short amount of time that felt like minutes, or hours.
he looked down to his fingers that he was fiddling with in his lap.
“i want to be with you, y/n.”
“im not trying to make you feel uncomfortable.. or anything. i think i just wanted you to know.”
you didnt know how to react at the time, you were in disbelief. you think the look on your face most likely told him everything it needed to. that you didnt know what to say, or that you didnt exactly feel the same way. that you had feelings for his best friend, and that you had since you were kids. you dont know how long you stared at him in silence, in shock, until the door was being pounded on.
“i need to use the toilet” the familiar voice of yeonjun called out, clearly drunk and in distress about the fact that the bathroom wasnt vacant. your heads turned towards the door in sync. before soobin quickly stumbled to open the door, you quickly followed suit, trying to scramble your way out of this situation quickly.
when you got back to kais room, he was looking at you with furrowed brows, questioning if you were okay and how youd been in the bathroom for such an extended amount of time. you brushed him off saying you werent feeling well as you gathered your belongings after deciding to walk home to save yourself from the distress of having to face soobin for the rest of the night.
kai suggested, you didnt say anything, just nodded in agreement as you felt slightly better knowing that you would have the comfortable presence of your best friend to walk you home. he slipped into some shoes before accompanying you out his front door, leaving the rest of your drunk friends alone in his house, just slightly too trusting of them.
you only lived around ten minutes from kai. he would often walk you home and made the ten minute walk feel like two minutes. the walk typically filled with laughter, playful fighting and teasing. this time, it was different. both of you still drunk, the night air thick with an unknown tension as you both slowly shuffled and swept down the street that felt it was never ending. that night the walk to your home felt unusually long, not like normal.
“are you okay?” kai questioned you like he knew something was up, like he was suggesting something about your demeanour was off.
"uh. yeah" you replied, you were trying to sound somewhat reassuring.
as soon as the words had slipped off your tongue you knew he would sense something was wrong, because he knew you so well.
it was quiet. you could tell he was quietly trying to find the words to say next. neither of you broke the silence that had involuntarily fallen between the two of you. maybe it was the fact that you were both too drunk to articulate your words correctly, or the fact was kai was most likely making up his own scenarios in his head about what had happened between you and soobin in his bathroom that night. and you could sense it, although you wanted to shut down his thoughts, but every time you even thought about speaking up, it was like there was a force stopping you from saying anything relating to the matter.
for once, the silence that held yours and huening kais words was no longer as comfortable as it once was. there was something lingering between you that wasn't quite familiar.
something that beomgyu had always teased you for, was the fact that it was blatantly obvious that you had a crush on your best friend, huening kai. however the voice in the back of your head has always told you that he didnt like you like that and to keep it to yourself. and so you did. you never told kai about it, no one but beomgyu.
the rest of that walk home, nothing much was said. by the time you got to your house you realised that no one was home. you invited him in, hoping he would stay just long enough for you to be tired enough to fall straight asleep. you sat in the kitchen that night longer than you needed to, continuously drinking glasses of water hoping to sober yourselves up, before stumbling up to your bedroom.
you threw yourself into the bed, feeling like the bunched up fabric of the sheets beside you were about to swallow you whole. you perched yourself up on your elbows, the sight of kai leaning up against your door, head tilted in a teasing way, hands stuffed into his pockets, before effortlessly pushing away and making his way towards the bed, forever ingrained in your mind. he sat comfortably on the edge of the bed, like he had done a million times before, but this time something in the air had shifted as he kept his eyes fixed on your face.
he left no room for you to talk before cupping your face taking your lips onto his like it was something he had been waiting for, deepening the kiss like your lips could slip away from him at any second. you were shocked, that was for sure, but you were also sure this was where youd wanted to be for a long time.
for a moment you werent sure if you felt regret or desire. you pushed those feelings away to indulge in the boy whos lips were firmly pressed against yours, the skin soft and wet from both of your saliva mixed. kai grabbed your hips, his thumbs pushing just slightly too hard into your pelvis. he effortlessly pulled you from where you were laying, propped up on your elbows, to sit on his lap, still not pulling his lips away from yours.
his kiss grew deeper with a burning desire for more, his hands gliding across your body searching for more to touch, the tips of his fingers sinking into the plush of your thigh or his hand slightly tugging at your hair. he pulled away only to drag his lips down, licking at an area on your neck before slowly sinking his teeth into the same area, a gasp escaping from your lips.
he smiled against your neck in amusement at the noise that had escaped your mouth.
“kai?” you whimpered out hesitantly. he groaned against your neck, wanting you to carry on.
“why are you doing this?” you questioned him. because nothing he was doing right now made sense. you had always been under the impression that he didnt like you back, and you never thought he would. but now, the line that you had imagined between your friendship boundaries had been smeared into almost nothing. because the way he was touching your skin his lips groaning into your neck suggested that he thought of you as more than friends, except he had never spoke a word about it.
he pulled away to look you in the eyes, his eyes heavy lidded, lips parted and slightly swollen. he looked at you that night like he had so many words to say. so many words that you think you will never be able to hear.
“i want you.” the only three words to escape his lips before smashing his lips back into yours. pulling away, only to lift your hoodie off of you, revealing just a small tank top. kai gawking at the fact you had no bra on. your hand snaking behind his head to grab a fist full of his hair. he grabbed your jaw, allowing your mouth to open wider giving him more access for his wet tounge to slide against yours, heavy breaths escaping your lips. he pushed his hand to the small of your back, pulling your closer to his body, holding you tighter, like you still werent close enough regardless of how your chests were pressed together.
kai spun you around, so you were laying head against the pillows as he leaned over you, your eyelashes fluttering infront of your glistening eyes as if to ask what he has in store for you. he began to lay small kisses down your body before his lips reached your knee. with one swift motion he pulled your sad excuse for shorts down leaving you in just your panties and a small tank top. he turned his attention back to your expression, his eyes locking with yours, before he begun to slowly plant pecks leading up your inner thigh, until his mouth was hovering over your core. you felt the heat growing, begging him to please you, begging him to bury his pretty little face in your pussy.
and he did. his plump lips making immediate contact with your clit, his tounge lightly flicking and pressing firmly against you. he kept moving his tounge and lips against your clit, his teeth occasionally lightly grazing their way across your skin, his head moving from side to side, your fingers entangled in his brown wavy hair.
your body writhes beneath him as his fingers begin to tease you, his tounge still working you up. you choke on a moan as he pushes his fingers inside you.
“p-please..” you whine, watching him intently. he pulls his face away, his eyes meeting yours, a slightly worried expression splayed across his face.
“more.” you beg as he looks at you. he pulls his finger out, leaning in to desperately kiss you. messily biting and tugging at your bottom lip with his teeth.
its not long before hes pushing himself into you, struggling to bite back a groan as you whimper, completely enveloping him as he starts with slow thrusts.
that night, was the night everything changed. your childhood bestfriend had taken your virginity. the way you both looked at eachother. the energy when you would hang out. something unspoken lingered in the air. neither of you said a word about what happened between the two of you, like it would cost you something if anything slipped out.
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