Musings of a Midwest Heathen

That motherfucker Pennywise is gonna fucking starve now because y’all too busy wanting to suck his dick to be scared of him 

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

this is my favorite video on the internet

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

this is the best prize i could have ever asked for

What a time to be alive.

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

She broke that shit down so beautifully

women are masterminds and i love it

I need it to be known that I have not once but twice destroyed an entire male friend group by doing this

you guys are weird lol

this is how i know none of yall have ever talked to boys irl yall think we’re a bunch of machiavellian shadow lords tryna dominate each other with power plays and shit that you can undermine by tryna fuck the shy one when in reality we all just make jokes about jerking off and talk about dragons. bunch of fucking nerds on this site i swear to god. you fuck the shy guy we’d be hyped as fuck cus my man deserves to get it!!!! my boys love each other!!!!

This confirms the theory that no woman on this site has ever talked to a man, only to a burlap sack named Dude McMan

I love reading this post whenever I see it because it’s fucking insane.

Do…do people on this hellsite really think that groups of guys are like that? This isn’t game of thrones for fucks sake.

I am so happy

There’s something pure in this photoset.

The last one omg

@xjjz