you are safe here

It’s fine. It’s for the best.

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, it’s fine. It wasn’t safe to let those weeds grow.

“But they were so pretty, all wild and free.”

Yeah, they were. But they were suffocating the flowers behind them.

“Flowers? What flowers? All I see is a dying plant.”

It grew flowers once. Back when the weeds weren’t so tall. They were pretty together.

“So why get rid of the weeds then?”

They were fine when they were small. But once they got big, they became an issue.

“Thorny ones, huh?”

Yeah, it didn’t matter when the thorns were so low down. But once they were tall, they cut me whenever I went to pick the flowers.

“What makes you think that bush will bloom again?”

I think it will. One day. But I don’t know. I might have let the weeds cover it for too long. It wasn’t getting any sunlight.

“But the weeds will grow back. You’ll have to keep cutting them over and over.”

I know.

“It would be easier just to let the weeds grow back. Prettier too. It’s kinda ugly as it is right now.”

…

But then I wouldn’t be giving the flowers a chance to bloom.

“Your loss then.”

Yeah.

then! oh, how you grew and filled me to the brim — i thought my heart didn’t have space for you, yet somehow you nestled into it like a perfect puzzle piece, just like you were once nestled in my womb.

i’ve lived and i’ve loved, but i’ve never felt a love like this, roaring like an ocean yet soft as the breeze, pulling me homewards even when i set my sails to new seas, everlasting, ever growing, delicate love.

you are my every eyelash wish and my first thought every morning,

and when you were born, so was i.

wide and winding,

seeking, finding paths of least resistance

through the years that lie before you hewing hopes for you into the very stone -

my currents each, a prayer, a wish,

a hope and if,

if I could,

I'd be a whisper

a breath beneath beating wings,

I'd be a thermal rising, the very atmosphere consipring, carrying you, high as you would ever

dare to go -

the embrace of an endless wood, silence, peace

a blanket of budding leaves

to shield you should you choose to sleep,

and if I could,

if I could,

soft blankets and a combination of jazz music and lavender in the air. warm, dancing toes, and a quiet, unnoticed hum. vanilla chamomile tea, left forgotten on a side table. conversations with a nearby plant, and absentmindedly staring at the clouds.

ink-stained fingertips and hasty cursive scribbles. urgently pacing and searching for the right words. fiddling with a necklace. the murmur of headphones and head gently bopping. quiet whispers that no one can hear. sand in an hourglass slowly flowing.

hey

hey you

you reading this

i wanna,,,give you something

“The timeless joy of Tom and Jerry even transcends species.”

well if you think that’s too many words, you should hear how many thoughts i have.

and if you think those words were harsh, you should hear how i talk to myself.

and if you think i’m being too loud, you should hear the noise inside my head.

and if you think i’m too much, you should know i have to deal with myself too.

and if you think i cry too much, you should see the tears i shed when no one’s around.

and if you think my laugh’s too big, you should know it’s to hide the pain i feel.

and if you think i’m not trying hard enough, you should know i’ll never measure up.

to celebrate please tell me about how you are doing! i'm rarely on tumblr anymore and i would love to hear from some of my old friends. i wanna know all about you and how you've been.