How Will They Line Up?

Featuring Special Guest Alan Shearer

Ian Fiveankles, Former Professional Footballer Turned Current Pundit

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Anthony Richardson, Anchor, How Will They Line Up

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Q. Max Williams asked: "Dear Ian, where did you get your nick name “Fiveankles”?" A. Ian Fiveankles: "It’s not a nickname, Max, it’s my real name. And nickname is one word. Watch and learn, my friend. Watch and learn."

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Q: Joe Aquino asked, "What's the worst injury you have seen on the pitch?" A: Ian Fiveankles: "I’d have to say that was when Duncan Bigcups, who was goalkeeper for Shepherd’s Balls Meadow FC, collided with Steffan Honk, who was up front for Frickin Hill." If you remember the scene, Honk was bearing down on goal and Bigcups, always known for extreme bravery that bordered on stupidity, came roaring out and attempted to dive onto the ball. He missed and his chin made contact with Honk’s boot. Because of the angle he was at when the collision occurred, Bigcups’ whole head went sort of inside-out. Says Ian: "He insisted on playing on, but later told me 'it was a bit weird, all I could see for the rest of the game was my own neck from the inside.' Miraculously there were no long term effects, though I shall never forget seeing this fleshy stump in a baseball cap attempting to do goal kicks and saves. We lost 2-0 that day."

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Ian Fiveankles, Former Professional Footballer Turned Current Pundit.

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Anthony Richardson, Anchor, How Will They Line Up

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Former Professional Footballer turned current pundit Ian Fiveankles. 

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Anthony Richardson, Anchor, How Will They Line Up

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