SUMMARY â When Batu put a hit on you, Braxton did the only thing that made sense to himâhe made you and your hacking his problem. Suddenly you had a handler and a âwork wifeâ and âwork husbandâ joke started to circulate.
WORD COUNT â 12,487
âOff the Booksâ (Braxton x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Desperate hitman looking for a petsitter. Enter: youâthe woman who will slowly turn into Braxton's greatest headache.
WORD COUNT â 5,548
âNo Honor Among Thieves (Or Assassins)â (Braxton x Original Female Character)Â (Part 1/9)
SUMMARY â What happens when another killer steals your kill? With Braxton involved, probably just chaos. And insults. Now the two are stuck in the worldâs most violent will-they-wonât-they. Spoiler: They will. Probably after someone gets shot. Again. Featuring: medically questionable wound-stitching as a form of foreplay and Braxâs inability to shut up, even when bleeding out.
WORD COUNT â 3,061
âBlood Loss & Brotherly Love: A Survival Guideâ (Braxton x Original Female Character)Â (Part 2/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ. Look, hereâs the thing about waking up with no gun, no phone, and a bullet wound stitched like it was too good of a job for someone who hated your gutsâat some point or another, you had to do a little bit of self-reflection. But Braxton would rather crawl through broken glass.
WORD COUNT â 3,272
âBlood Sugarâ (Braxton x Original Female Character)Â (Part 3/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ. While tracing an old contract, Christian uncovers that Braxton unknowingly eliminated one of the Brotherhoodâs enemies years ago. With Justineâs assistance, they begin unravelling the truth behind Echoâs allegiance to the Brotherhood.
WORD COUNT â 2,080
âWelcome (Back) To Fight Clubâ (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 4/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ. Braxton told himself that newfound obsession wasnât personal. That it was just about unfinished business. Pride. Closure. Whatever. But the wonderingâŚJesus Christ, the wondering.Â
When all the jobs were done and tied up in a bow, and he was alone with his head again, the wondering and thinking about Echo clawed at the back of his head like a demonic possession.
WORD COUNT â 4,006
âNo Grave Can Hold Her Downâ (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 5/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ.Â
See, Braxton knew everything about getting trained to be a super-soldier from the ripe age of seven. It wasnât the only thing that left him profoundly fucked up. But what in the world must have happened to her to leave her like this?
WORD COUNT â 2,035
âHoney, I Escaped the Murder Cultâ (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 6/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ.
Braxton strongly suspected Echo didnât trust him or his methods just yet, but he had no problem with showing offâand proving her wrong. He talked like a man born to lie and knew how to vanish without a trace. Well, maybe not like Echo. Her methods were still a mystery to him. But he knew enough to get paid the big bucks he did, so. There was that.
WORD COUNT â 2,035
âNothinâ Personalâ (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 7/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ.
Braxton handled the car like heâd stolen it from a war zoneâwhich, coincidentally, he had done many times before. But the way he drove was smooth, fast, and with the muscle memory of a guy who regularly drove an armored convoy through a desert under fire. Not much rattled him in general.Â
Except, maybe, that woman in the passenger seat right there.
WORD COUNT â 2,729
âApocalypse (With Extra Bang)â (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 8/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ.
âTry it,â she said. âSee where I dump your body.â
Braxton grinned, sinking even lower in the seat. âNah, not a ditch, thatâs predictable. Youâd get creativeâfeed me to a coyote, maybe.â
She smirked. Again. âYou get more annoying? I leave you to scorpions. For lunch.â
A laugh rumbled in his chest, dulled with lack of sleep, but real. âSo, ditch it is.â
WORD COUNT â 2,468
âCollateral Affectionâ (Braxton x Original Female Character) (Part 9/9)
SUMMARY â Continuation of âNo Honor Among Thievesâ.
Braxton comes to a world-shattering conclusion that maybe, somehow, he deserves to have a life.
WORD COUNT â 2,121
âAnd Then We Were Twoâ (Frank Castle x fem!Reader)
Part 1/2
Part 2/2
SUMMARY â Years ago, Frank Castle pulled a broken girl out of hell. Now, sheâs standing in front of him againâblood on her hands and a hit list in her pocket.
WORD COUNT â 7,118
âYou Steal It, You Feed Itâ (Frank Castle x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Frank decided to retire in an inconspicuous apartment somewhere in Brooklyn. Well, as much as a man like him even could. Normally, he minded his business at all times. Except tonight.Â
Tonight, he actually was busy. Had business. But no, there you were, crouched on the fire escape at asshat oâclock in the goddamn morning, right in his wayâwith a duffel bag, bolt cutters, and a look on your face like you were about to commit a felony no matter what.
WORD COUNT â 5,310
âAnother Lifeâ (Frank Castle x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â A guy walks into a bar and runs into the girl who would take no shit in high school. Heâs a walking armory of trauma, she immediately reminds him of the most embarrassing haircut he ever had. Theyâre probably not going to talk about their feelings, but the banter might be decent.
WORD COUNT â 4,446
âTemporary Troubleâ (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â  It would be the summer of Deputy Walsh learning shit the hard way. First, never piss off people who got access to your lunch order. Secondâthe prettier the package, the sharper the tongue.Â
You, the newest temp at the precinct, were stuck dealing with Shaneâs attitude, while Shane ultimately couldnât decide if he wanted to strangle you or drag you somewhere private.
WORD COUNT â 8,534
âHighway To Nowhereâ (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â  Shane Walsh was supposed to be the villain. And I said: bet.  Â
The the wrong person lived, the wrong secrets got buried, and then you showed upâwith a sharp mouth, and no patience for self-loathing. Â Â
Canon-divergent Season 2. Emotional carnage, redemption arcs, and everyone's tired, including you.
WORD COUNT â 17,315
âNo Rest for the Livingâ (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Â The dead donât stay dead, and somehow thatâs not the strangest thing Shane Walsh has to deal with these days. Right in the middle of the apocalypse, he runs into a woman that can make corpses obey. Which, truth be told, is just one more headache Shane really didnât need.
WORD COUNT â 16,002
âTo the Boneâ (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Â Sometime in the not-so-distant future, Shane Walsh made it to GBI. As he rolled into a sleepy Georgia town to hunt down a serial killer, the last person he wanted to deal with was you, the local coronerâa brilliant, if quirky, woman who much preferred the dead to the living.
WORD COUNT â 11,489
âLoose CannonsâA Seriesâ (Dixon fem!Reader)
Part 1âRobin Hood (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â When youâthe sharpshooting cousin of the Dixon brothersâjoin the Atlanta camp, tensions arise and changes creep in.Â
Daryl begins to step out of Merleâs shadow, and Merle struggles with the possibility of redemption. Shane sees another Dixon as a threat, Rickâas an opportunity. Now, survival isnât just about the walkers.
WORD COUNT â 3,282
Part 2âUnlikely Survivor
Part 3âPeace Offering
Part 4âAinât Dead Yet
Part 5âNo Such Thing as Luck
Part 6âNothing Left to Bury
Part 7âDead Quiet
Part 8âThe Devil Donât Knock Twice
Part 9âDust in the Rearview
Part 10â Close Enough to Kill
Part 11âTrouble You Keep
âNo Surrender, BabyâA Short Seriesâ (Grimes fem!Reader)
Part 1âAfter the World Ended
Part 2âSomething Borrowed, Something Dead
Part 3âBury Me Again
Part 4âThe Girl and the Ghost
Part 5âAinât No Cure for That (Coming soon!)
Part 6âKing County Dirt (Coming soon!)
âDogs That Biteâ (Grady Travis x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Grady might have been foul-mouthed, but now he finally met his match. You, the new medic in camp, turned out to be way worse. More importantly, you didnât give a damn about his tough-guy act and were determined to save him no matter what.
WORD COUNT â 8,384
âThe Sun Will Riseâ (Grady Travis x fem!Reader)
SUMMARY â Against all odds and his own expectations Grady Travis survived the war. What came after was, thankfully, not quite the unhappy ending he expected after all.
WORD COUNT â 9,264
Decided to make a taglist. Please let me know if youâd like to be tagged.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
SUMMARY â Grady might have been foul-mouthed, but now he finally met his match. You, the new medic in camp, turned out to be way worse. More importantly, you didn't give a damn about his tough-guy act and were determined to save him no matter what.
AUTHORâS NOTE â Will I ever get tired of comparing the men I like to dogs? No, probably not. This fic was long in the making because I recently re-watched that film to hurt my own feelings and couldn't get this silly idea out of my head. So... Enjoy? I hope.
WORD COUNT â 8,384
Masterlist
Taglist
The bullet wasnât just a graze. Grady had been playing it cool for the rest of the crew, but the longer they rode to camp, the more he felt that damn thing lodge harder and harder into his side.Â
âNow you hold on Grady, you hear me?â Bible kept telling him, in between Gordoâs âFuck!â repeated steadily all the way to the base.
âAinât nothinâ, quit fussinâ,â Grady muttered, feeling more and more lightheaded with every time Fury hit a bump on the road.
Once they got him out of the tank, Grady hit the mud with a grunt, clutchinâ his side while the boys shouted over him. Don yelled for a medic, voice hoarse with urgency.
âGrady. Grady, fuck man! Look at me.â Bible tried to hoist him up, which only made the pain worse and Grady nearly fell on him, some two hundred pounds of bleeding Cajun deadweight.
Then, over the noise, came a voice Grady hadnât heard beforeâsharp, female, cutting clean through the chaos. He blinked through the haze, and there you were on the far side of camp. Red Cross band on your arm, medical bag damn near dragging you into the mud.Â
âThe fuckâs that?â Grady rasped, pointing.
You were screaming at the truck driver whoâd just dumped you here, in the middle of their own private hell. You cursed like a dockhand, making the nearby soldiers turn their heads. Then you stomped straight into camp, bag slung on your shoulder.
The entire crew was already watching you go and so Don screamed for a medic one more time. You turned his way and, like a bloodhound, you caught sight of Grady bleeding out. Didnât even pauseâyou stormed over, nearly shoving Don out of the way.
âBullet still in?â you demanded to know.Â
âUh⌠âS untellinâ,â Grady grumbled, but then your hands were on him and you checked the back for the through-and-through.
Moments later, you already got a stretcher from who even knows where, and instructed Gordo and Bible how to move him.
Well, instructed being a relative word.
âStop your prayinâ and move âim, dammit, or Iâll stitch your goddamn fool mouths shut first!â you snapped, thick Georgia twang rolling off your every word.
âFuck me,â Gordo grunted.
âYes, maâam,â Bible muttered, still worried.
Don scoffed. âNow, wait just a goddamn minuteââ
Grady let out a wheezing laugh, then groaned, head falling back. Figures. Leave it to him to get saved by a crazy Southerner. âHey, Top,â he croaked, clutching at the manâs sleeve, âNaw, donât leave me with the mad woman, ainâtââ
Grady groaned as the stretcher jostled under him, every bump sending fresh waves of pain through his side. He tried to focus on your face hovering above him. Didnât seem fair, someone so goddamn pretty yelling at him like a drill sergeant.
âFuckinâ... hellcat,â Grady gritted out between clenched teeth, one hand gripping the stretcher rail so hard his knuckles went white. âJust stab me with whateverâs in that bag.â His laugh turned into a cough, the metallic tang of blood sharp on his tongue. Shit. That ainât good.
âYou two! Stop!â You noticed blood on his lips and immediately leaned over him, eyes sharp. âYou. Soldier. Hey, look at me,â you ordered and Grady honestly didnât know what to do with that.Â
Then you knelt beside him in the mud and got to work then and there. You opened that medical bag full of monstrous tools, opened up his shirt and got a packet of sulfa powder. For the first time in his life, Grady honestly wished the woman undressing him wasnât so goddamn pretty, because he was losing what was left of his goddamn mind.
âYou two! Get me a blood plasma from the medical and more sulfa powder.âÂ
Don stood there and watched as you ordered his crew around with an odd expression.
Grady hissed through his teeth as you tore into his hide like it wasnât attached to him. âChrist! Fuck! Bitch!â
You just shook your head. âYeah, yeah, been called that since â40, ya ainât special.â
âYeah? Anâ ya ever heard of gentle, woman?!â
âShut your trap already, less you wanna cough up blood next,â you snapped at him, already packing the wound full of gauze and rummaging in there for the bullet.
Dying suddenly seemed secondary and Grady squinted up at you. âYa from Georgia.â
âSavannah,â you muttered, not looking up as you pressed down on the wound to stop the bleeding, which resulted in Bible and Don having to hold Grady down so he wouldnât lunge at you.Â
âARGHâ!â he roared. âYa trynna kill me?!â
But you werenât having it. âSave your breathâainât got time for your lip, soldier.â
In fact, your movements were sharp and precise, like youâve done it a million times before. And, hells, you probably have. Grady couldnât decide how to feel about that just yet.
Already high from blood loss, he barked a pained laugh. âHell. Shoulda known. Only a Georgia peachâd talk to a man that way.â
You glared at him again. Your hands were already stained with his blood. âThat you trynna flirt?âÂ
Grady thought about it. You could tellâhis frown deepened.
âYeah, why not,â he grumbled. âIt workinâ?â
âHell naw.â You laughed. âBe glad if I donât leave the bullet in, Louisiana.â
âThe fuck ya callinâ me that for?â Grady grunted roughly. âIâm from goddamn Arkansas.â
You shook your head. âGot lotsa fight left in ya, huh?â
âDamn right.â Grady just grinned, his teeth tinged with blood and tobacco stains. âAinât scared aâ you, sugar.â
âOh, well. Reckon now you are.â
And then you jabbed⌠Whatever the fuck it was, it was in. Sharp as fuck. He screamed.
Now, Grady knew pain. He knew how to take a punch to the face, thatâs for damn sure. How it felt to get your rotten tooth pulled out by a lousy town barber. Ever since he joined this hell, he even had to be stitched up a couple times.
But this⌠This, he couldnât even describe.
Gradyâs grin faltered, his whole body tensing. âSonuvabitchâ!â He sucked air through his teeth as you rummaged through his side.Â
âMaâamâŚâ Don exhaled, still watching that impromptu surgery closely. âThat how yâall say hello down in Savannah or sumthinâ?â
âNaw,â you drawled, unfazed. You leaned in and still dug for that bullet. âThis hereâs just me beinâ friendly. Helloâs the part where I donât let your friend choke on his own blood, Sergeant.â
Goddamn, the pain got worse, but youâyou were efficient, clinical, like Grady was a piece of broken machinery (the irony of which wasnât lost on Don). He looked almost impressed.Â
Gordo finally came back with that plasma bag, then took one look at the surgery and walked away, shaking his head and muttering curses in Spanish.
âYou,â you looked up at Bible, who was still nervously hovering and muttering prayers. âGet me morphine from my bag.â
Bible did. You told him how to fill up the syringe while you kept Grady from bleeding out. The needle felt like a jab of betrayal and Grady scowled harder. âYou had morphine the whole time?!â
âShut it, soldier.â
âNaw, fuckââ
Dark spots swam in his vision. The last thing Grady saw before his eyes fluttered shut was your lips, pressed thin in annoyance.
âWake your ass up, Coon-Ass,â came the rough command, accompanied by a sharp smack against his legânot hard enough to hurt, but enough to jolt him. His eyelids peeled open to the sight of the medical tent, moaning and groaning wounded all around him.Â
Don was standing over his bed and Grady cursed under his breath. âI ainât dead?â
âNah.â Don chuckled, that wry smirk on his lips. âWhy? You sound disappointed.â
Grady groaned as he pushed himself up on one elbow, wincing at the sharp pull in his side. Everything around him smelled like blood and gangrene, a combination that turned his stomach worse than last weekâs rations.
âNo, no, donât do that.â Don moved quickly and pushed Grady back down. âYou pull them stitches out, itâll be both our heads that devil womanâll have for it.â
Grady squinted at Donâs tired face. âThey got you playinâ nursemaid now, Top? War must be goinâ real bad.â
His attempt at humor fell flat when a fresh wave of pain lanced through him. Gradyâs hand fumbled at the bandages wrapped tight around his ribs, fingers coming away cleanâno fresh blood at least. That was something.
âNurse Hellcat did one helluva job.â Don smirked, trying to lighten the situation. Grady knew that tone too well. âEven the doc said so.â
âYeah?â
âYeah.â Don looked more hopeful than last time Grady saw himâhis blood staining half the tank.Â
âWhyâs she here anyway?â
âMoved from 101st.â
âPlanes?â Grady sounded a bit impressed. Don understood why.Â
Operating a tank was one thingâbut flying a plane, now that was something. Theyâve seen a lot of the 101st during their time in Germany. Each time they flew over to rain hellfire on the Nazis, Don could see that boyish glint in Gradyâs eyes.
The canvas flap at the tent entrance rustled, and Gradyâs head snapped up so fast he saw stars. For a second, he thought it might be youâbut it was just some private delivering rations.
Grady slumped back against the thin pillow, suddenly exhausted. âFuck,â he muttered, more to himself than Don. âWhat now, huh? They gonna give ya ânother loader or what?â
âWho even knows.â Don sat down on the metal chair beside the bed. It was a rare moment of quietârelative quietâaround them. They still amputated limbs in another tent over, but at least soldiers in recovery didnât have to watch.
âHow long they keepinâ me for?â Grady tried to sound gruff, but was doing a poor job of it.
The truth was, the cot felt too soft after months of tank steel, and the lack of artillery raining down on his ass was getting him real uneasy.
Don exhaled sharply through his nose. âDoc says ânother week, maybe two.â He paused, watching Gradyâs face carefully. âCommand ainât decided on a replacement yet. Got no orders. Furyâs sittinâ idle âtil youâre back or they find some poor bastard to throw in your spot.â
The idea of some green kid loading for his crew made Gradyâs gut twist worse than the wound. âTwo fuckinâ weeks?â he scoffed, pushing himself up again despite Donâs warning look. âHell, I could load blindfolded right now. This ainât nothinâ.â
Then the tent flap rustled again, and this time Grady didnât bother looking upâbig mistake.
âThat ânothinââ took fifty-two stitches to close, soldier, and if you pop one, I swear to Christ Iâll throttle ya mâself!â
Grady huffed out a laugh, the pain in his side suddenly forgotten. âYa will? I might oughta start bleedinâ on purpose.â
You walked up to Grady in two strides and⌠Then you just looked at him. Silent. Grady couldnât explain it, but the way you got angrier and angrier sent a sick kind of thrill through himâbetter than morphine, that fire in your eyes.
âYour crew asked âbout you,â you told him, your voice much quieter now. âSo I told âem not to worry. Donât make me go back on my word, cowboy.â You nodded at Don, who was watching you closely. âSergeant.â
âMaâam.â
âYou got yourself a colorful team.â
âSo Iâve been told, maâam.â
You jutted your chin towards Grady. âI ainât gonâ berate a grown man like a child, Sergeant, but that donât mean I donât wanna.â
That made Don laughâthe genuine kind. Grady looked between you two, confusion etched deep into his face.
âThey done told me some of what yâall do and the others said your loaderâs entitled to be the way he is,â you said. âSo Iâll ignore the lip.â
âAppreciate it, maâam.â
âTheââ Grady frowned, unsure if he should be insulted, because goddamn, you talked fast. âSheâs got me all sortsa confused, Top.â
âSheâs sayinâ youâre doinâ a good job, Coon-Ass.â
âHeh.â Grady grinned at you. âDamn right I am.â
You shook your head, exasperated. âYeah, wordâs even the Krauts piss themselves when they hear your tankâs cominâ.âÂ
âImpressed, sugar?â
âWatch it, cowboy. I ainât nobodyâs âsugarâ.â
You noticed Grady moving again and you shot him a look. âI ainât gonna be too hard on ya, less you give me a reason. And ya donât wanna give me a reason.â
That got Grady all smug. âSo what, youâre gonâ be real sweet, Georgia?â
âDonât push it, soldier.â
âNameâs Grady,â he grumbled.
As for Don, he was watching that exchange with brows raised high.
He had seen men explode in rage before. Hell, heâd seen Grady cause plenty of it himselfâGrady tended to have that effect on people. But this was different. Your anger was quiet and you had a mouth on you. That there was worse. Don could already tell it would make Grady want to poke you just to see whatâd happen.
âFifty-two stitches, huh?â Grady spoke again. His grin was all teeth, reckless, even as Don shot him a warning look. âWhatâs the matter, darlinâ? Ainât never had a patient thank you proper before?â
âYou just⌠Get better, hm?â Don cleared his throat and stood abruptly, deciding that this here was not his problem.
Grady barely noticed him leave, too busy looking at you. Like so many times before in his life, he got that nagging feeling at the back of his headâlike he should maybe shut his goddamn mouth.Â
But again, Grady had never been good at doing what he should. Itâs how he had found himself on the front in the first place. First, Uncle Sam asked him real nice. Then threatened to throw his ass in Leavenworth if he wouldnât go.
âSo what, huh,â he moved on the cot, now getting irritated at the silence. âYa gonna stand there glarinâ all fuckinâ day, Georgia?â
âNaw. But if ya donât stop movinâ and rip those stitches, weâre gonna have a problem, Arkansas.â
Some of the others were looking up from their cots and Grady suddenly got uneasy. He didnât much like people looking at him anyway.
He looked at you, all serious, then tried to sit up.Â
âJesus, whatâd I just say!â You rushed to his cot and pushed him back down.
Grady could almost taste the reckoning coming, and Christ help him, he wanted it. Heâd seen men scream themselves hoarse in combat, but this anger of yours, it made his heart pound in a way no artillery barrage ever had. âOr what, are ya gonâ yell? Then yell, sugar, the hell,â he goaded, smirking.Â
âThe fuck you starinâ at me for, huh?â He shouted at the private in the nearby cot.
The private gasped loud enough Grady nearly laughedâimagine thinking shock was still possible after Normandy.
You scowled. âI ainât sewinâ ya back up if you keep tryinâ my patience.â
For a second Grady thought you might actually slap him, and damn if part of him didnât hope for it. Anything.
âNo?â Grady prodded. âSo this hereâs you tellinâ me I ainât fit to wipe my own ass yet or what?âÂ
The words tasted wrong even as he said themâhe couldnât help but being an ass even while half-hoping for scraps of human kindness.
âI seen soldiers rip out stitches to get attention before anâ I seen them do it to get sent back home,â you finally spoke, voice low. âSo I will tell ya plain, soldier, âcause you might talk outta your ass, but you donât seem too stupid. None of our boats are goinâ home anytime soon. Ya gotta learn how to survive inside your own head here.â
Grady felt something inside him twist. Whatever you felt towards him right then, it wasnât anger anymore. Hell, it was something worse. Something that looked dangerously close to pity.
He opened his mouth, when the distant shouts for medics shook the tent canvas. Someone screamed outside and the strange spell between you shattered. You snapped to attention and rushed outside.
Grady lay back down, torn between relief and rage at being left behind. But like Don always said, war waited for no oneâleast of all a goddamn Arkansas dog, dumb enough to get himself sidelined by a lucky shot.
The outside was a cacophony of shouts. Grady closed his eyes, letting the noise wash over him like he did so many times before. Heâd never been good at staying put. Never been good at much really, except loading shells and pissing people off. And right now, he wasnât even fit for that.
It was dark when he woke up next, the recovery tent pitch-black save for one small gas lamp hanging above the entrance. Grady didnât even realize he had fallen asleep. He slept well for the first time in four years of hell and while he should have enjoyed it, he couldnât. Not really.Â
He wondered what time it was, if his crew was okayâand most importantly if he would get any more goddamn painkillers. His side was killing him. The morphine had worn off hours ago, leaving that hole in his side throbbing in pain.Â
A rustle at the tent flap made him turn his head. For a second, he thought it might be you, but it was just some fresh-faced orderly. The kid took one look at Gradyâs scowl and kept walking.Â
âYeah. Real brave bunch they got nursinâ now,â Grady muttered to no one in particular. He reached for the canteen beside his cot and winced as the movement pulled at his stitches. The water was warm and tasted like metal.
Outside, the camp was settling into that eerie half-quiet that came after chaos. The tent flap moved again and suddenly there you were.
âIâll take over, Private. You can go,â you said, quiet. Probably mindful of all the other poor fucks around here, trying to sleep.
The boy couldnât get out of the tent fast enough. You checked on all the serious cases firstâamputated limbs, missing eyes, all the shebang.
Then you came up to Grady. You yanked at the blanket unceremoniously and checked his bandages.
Gradyâs mouth went dry. He shouldâve had some smartass remark ready, but he didnât. He could see the dirt still smudged on your cheeks, the dried blood on your uniform. Youâd been out there in the thick of it, while heâd been lying here like a useless deadweight. And your eyes held the same kind of resigned exhaustion he knew so goddamn well.Â
âYâ wanna sit?â Grady jerked his chin to the metal chair next to his cot. âI ainât gonâ run my mouth again, Godâs honest.â
The words tasted pathetic as soon as he said them, but then, against all his expectations, you sat down with a deep sigh.Â
He could see the way your shoulders slumpedâhe had felt that same bone-deep weariness nearly every damn day.
âSo⌠This thing gonâ kill me or what?â He gestured vaguely at his side.
You smiled, an exasperated type of smile. âYouâll live.â
âUh-huh.â He nodded and reached for you, a little more eager. You saw that hand and slapped it away. Hard.Â
Seeing you get all annoyed again, Grady felt better.
âThey really sendinâ a replacement loader?â he asked, though he already knew the answer. The question was just an excuse to fill the silence, to keep you there a little longer.
You didnât answer right away, just rubbed at your eyes with the heel of your hand. âYou really that eager to get back out there, cowboy?â
Grady looked away, suddenly unable to meet your gaze. But the nickname made him smirk. Not that he didnât like his war name, but this one was something just for him. Something you made up on the spot and made him not want to answer to anything else.Â
âAinât âbout beinâ eager,â he muttered. âJust donât like sittinâ âround whileâŚâ
He didnât add the rest.
You wiped your palm against your thigh where youâd swatted Gradyâs hand away, your mouth twisting in mild amusement despite yourself. âI asked. Command ainât decided âbout replacements yet,â you admitted, voice hushed enough not to disturb sleeping patients.
Gradyâs eyes darted to you, the faded lamplight illuminating the surprise on his face. âYa asked âem?â
You leaned back in the chair and shrugged. âIt was either this or watchinâ you try to rip them stitches out every damn hour.â
Grady looked smug. At this point you just let him have it.
âYour crewâs holdinâ down Fury with some private they dragged outta the clerk office. Kid looks âbout twelve.â You smirked, shaking your head.Â
Grady shifted on the cot, careful not to pull at his stitches this timeânot with you watching him like that. âHell, I was drinkinâ moonshine outta mason jars by twelve.âÂ
âStole a horse when I was âbout thirteen,â you murmured.
âShit fire, Georgia.â Gradyâs eyes went wide. âIf this ainât somethinâ, I donât know what is.â
His smirk widened at your admissionâit was the first real thing youâd given him, something honest, just for him to know. At least thatâs how he thought about it and you couldnât stop him.
âYou should be good for light duty in a week or so. âLess you rip those stitches horsinâ âround before then.â Your lips quirked despite the warning tone. ââCourse, reckon we both know ya ainât got the sense God gave gravelâŚâ
âThe fuckâs light duty?â Grady frowned, confused like a child told he couldnât play outside.
You didnât answer right away, just studied him with those tired eyes that saw too damn much. Grady was suddenly deeply aware that Fury was out there with some greenhorn loading his shellsâand here he was, while the war moved on without him.Â
âCould mean runninâ messages,â you finally said, voice softer than he deserved.
âGoddamn,â he grunted. âMessages? Loadinâ that tankâs the most schoolinâ I ever seen.â
He could barely spell his own name without missing half the letters. All of a sudden the truth of it scraped against his pride.
You smiled, just barely, the kind of smile that made Grady want to poke at it until it turned real. âCould be helpinâ in the motor pool if you promise not to cuss out every private within earshot.âÂ
âAinât promisinâ shit âbout my mouth.â Then you saw these wheels turning in his head and Grady licked his lips. ââLess you wannaâŚâ
âNo.â
âYeah, yeah.â He grinned. âFine.â
âSo youâll behave?â
Grady shook his head. âThose grease monkeys got hands like goddamn waffles.â
âWaffles?âÂ
Your confused frown made him grin harder. âMeans drop more wrenches than they turn.â
You actually laughed at that and his chest did something very stupid at the sound. He wasnât smooth, wasnât charmingâbut stubborn as a mule and twice as ornery, thatâs for damn sure.
âWhat kinda horse was it?â he asked, not ready to let you go just yet.
âUhâŚâ You let out a deep sigh and looked at him. âOne of them spotted ones. Real beauty. Brown anâ white spots, black mane.â
Up close, you could see just how dark his eyes were. And his focus was fixed on you, entirely, the way heâd fixate on a jammed shell casingâlike you were a problem he meant to solve with his teeth if he had to.
âThirteen,â he muttered. âBet you didnât even look back.â The corner of his mouth twitched. âAinât that right, Georgia?â
But you were quiet again. That uneasy feeling settled in his gutâthe one that said heâd misread this whole dance between you.
Then, your eyes filled with a nostalgic lookâfor a moment, Grady could have sworn he was seeing the ghost of that wild-haired girl in the weary medic before him.
âGeorgia,â he started, then faltered. What was he even asking for? More stories? More time?
âYou want a book?â you asked him all of a sudden and Grady huffed.
âA book?â He frowned. âLike for what?â
Your brows shot up and you looked at him, incredulous. It took him a moment to catch on.
âNah, ainât much for readinâ,â he grumbled, like he was admitting to something shameful.
âYou gotta do somethinâ,â you insisted. âItâs what I saw helps yâall recover. If you just sit anâ stay in your head, ainât gonna get much better.â
Then you rummaged through your bag and got him some paper and a small pencil. âDraw somethinâ, dunno.â
Grady looked almost disgusted at the notion. He glared at you and shook his head in disbelief. âThe fuck fuckinâ backwards med camp dâ ya come from, woman?â
But he took that pencil anyway and rolled it between his thumb and index finger for a while, like it was a particularly interesting cigarette.
One thing about Grady was you never had to wonder what he was thinking. He would either tell you or his face would do it for him. Truth be told, you kind of enjoyed that candor.
But to see him the next day so focused on that piece of paper was unusual to say the least. He was hunched over it like it was some kind of tactical map, his big hands dwarfing the tiny pencil.Â
You almost didnât want to interrupt.
He didnât notice you approaching and you sneaked a glance at the pageâan honestly not too bad attempt at Furyâs silhouette. The lines he drew were dark and bold, which was to be expected. He didnât seem like a tiny, precise drawings kind of guy.Â
Grady looked at the page with the same stubbornness he applied to everythingâfrom loading shells to this godforsaken drawing. He even managed to get a smear of graphite across his nose at some point, which made you smile a little.
âLooks like a damn soup can,â he muttered before you could say anything, scratching at the stubble along his jaw.Â
âNaw,â you argued. âYou just gotta even out the edges.â
He let out an annoyed huff. âAinât you supposed to be stitchinâ people up, not playinâ schoolmarm?â
âBarrelâs longer than that,â you said, ignoring the question.
âLike youâd know,â he grumbled, but adjusted the sketch anyway. âAinât like yâ ever had to fix her.â
âNaw, but I had to fix you, cowboy, anâ that sure earned me some favors in Heaven for my patience.â
That actually made him laughâa rough, surprised kind of sound. Then you reached into your bag and placed more mismatched sheets of paper on his cot. Grady stared at the paper, then at you.Â
âAinât no damn artist,â he grumbled, then raised both hands. âThereâs one thing theseâre good for. Eh,â he mused, âmaybe three.â
You squinted at him, already knowing one of them would be something like squeezing womenâs backsides. But then some other thought took him and you watched the way his shoulders hunched, defensive like a cornered dog.
Somehow it made your chest tighten and you sat down beside him. That brought him back. âAinât askinâ for no damn art, itâs just somethinâ to keep ya busy. Before they get you punchinâ orderlies all day long.â
His laugh was rough, but for a moment it made his actual age showâso much younger than what war had done to him.Â
âYou do this for all your patients, Georgia?â he muttered. âHand grown men crayons?â
âWish I had crayons,â you sighed. âAdd a bit of color to my day.â
Gradyâs attention shifted to your face and an absurd thought struck him: youâd look good on paper. Wild hair and all. The realization sat uncomfortably in his chest.Â
He had only survived this long because he wouldnât let himself want for nothing more than to survive the day. Get some food and some smokes if he could find it, that was good enough for him.
But now he had way too much time on his hands. And there you were, making him think things he shouldnât.
âYou ever think âbout⌠what youâll do when this messâs over?â he asked, very quietly.
Your eyes met and for a moment you stayed quiet.Â
Thenâ
âEasy. Iâll never see Germany again.â
âNaw, butâŚâ The cot springs creaked as Grady shifted, suddenly needing space from your closeness. âNot likeânot the bullshit. Like⌠ya could work at a normal hospital, I reckon.â
You thought about it and then shook your head. âNo. Iâd rather learn the typewriter, actually.â
âThe typewriter?â He chewed on the word a bit, like it was foreign.Â
âYeah. You?â you asked.
âWar donât exactly make me wanna make plans,â he grumbled. âAinât got none.â
âBut you made me tell ya!â You shook your head in disbelief.Â
âHeh.â He grinned like the devil himself. âGuess I did.â
Grady stared at the sketch paper again and tilted his head. Truth was, the idea of you clicking away at some desk in a fancy dress made his stomach twistâthat was a completely foreign territory. A different kind of world.
You plucked the pencil from his fingers before he could protest, turning it over in your hands. âWe had one back home,â you said quietly. âMama used it for church bulletins. Sounded likeâŚâ You tapped the pencil against the cot frame three timesâclack, clack, clack.Â
You tossed the pencil back to him. âAlright, cowboy. Got real patients to tend. You seem good enough to me.â
Hells, if bleeding was all it took to get your attention then⌠But Grady decided against it. He picked up that damn pencil instead.
A week later, they cleared him for light duty. Every young private in the motor pool came to curse the command for it.
âJesus, dumbass, that ainât how ya torque a damn boltâgimme that!â Grady snatched the wrench from the kidâs shaking hands, demonstrating the motion with exaggerated slowness. âSee?â
Grady wiped his grease-streaked hands on his already painfully dirty shirt, watching the wide-eyed privates scrambling to keep up.
You had a slower day so you came around to lurkâyou traded another nurse half your lipstick for her coffee stash, so now you had a good drink and a show.Â
Grady noticed you standing there and immediately turned his annoyance up a notchâperformative as hell, but you couldnât tear your eyes away.
âThe hellâd ya want?â he snapped, wiping at the black grease across his forehead and succeeding only in smearing it worse. âAinât got better things to do, Georgia?â
You noticed he had rolled his sleeves past his elbows, revealing well-muscled forearms. He moved differently now. Still quick, still sharp enough to intimidate everyone around him. But there was a cautiousness that hadnât been there before. Like he was holding himself back from fully inhabiting his own skin until he was cleared for combat.
You walked up to him and took a very exaggerated sip of your coffee. âDecided to come see for myself whoâs been screaminâ all over camp.â
But then you looked around the tent and had to admit all looked to be in a goodâif slightly terrifiedâorder.Â
âI hear youâve been a menace, cowboy,â you said.
Grady let out a sharp bark of laughter. âSugar, this hereâs me beinâ nice.â
You took another slow sip of coffee, looking at him. Grady noticed and rolled his shoulders with deliberate nonchalance.
âAinât my fault these greenhorns couldnât tell a carburetor from a tire,â he muttered.
The corner of your mouth twitched despite yourself. Grady thoroughly committed to being the loudest, most obnoxious bastard in any circumstances.
You stepped closer, lowering your voice so only he could hear. âYouâre healinâ real good. Might be back with your crew by weekâs end.â
ââBout damn time,â he grumbled.
Suddenly he was unable to meet your eyes. âTheyâre lettinâ you stay or you gettinâ a transfer outta here?â
âA transfer?â You snorted, shaking your head. âAs if theyâd let me. Nah, this hereâs where Iâll be. Least until Hitler wises up and shoots his brains out.â
You studied Grady for a while and you could tell he didnât much like it.
âWhat?â he grumbled, as if bracing for a fight.
âNothinâ.â
âUh-huh.â He rubbed at the back of his neck. âThen what the hellâre ya starinâ at me for?â
He was healing, sure, but there was a restlessness in him you recognizedâthe kind that made men pick fights just to feel something other than useless.Â
âJustâŚâ You sighed. âDonât go gettinâ yourself shot again.â
âCanât promise ya nuthin.â He grinned. âIâm mean anâ dumb. There sureâs a bullet with my name on it somewhere.â
You finished that coffee, suddenly wishing you had bartered for something stronger. âYou ainât dumb. And I ainât patchinâ ya up just so you can bitch at me.â
As soon as you said it, something changed in the way he looked at you. Grady watched you, then just nodded toward the nearest busted truck. âCâmere. Show ya somethinâ.âÂ
He tugged you toward the shadowed side of the truck before you could protest. The sudden movement sent your empty coffee tin clattering to the dirt. âThe hellââ you started, but his other hand came up to silence you, a rough palm pressing gently against your lips.Â
âAinât gonna bite,â he murmured, voice low. âJust⌠wanted to see if youâd follow.â
You remembered there were some rules and regulations that specifically stated how this was a spectacularly bad idea. Suddenly you couldnât name even one.
Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and you pulled him closer. Grady lowered his hands and grabbed your ass without preamble, before ducking his head to kiss you.
That first kiss was a harsh one, like he was starving for it. But you didnât mind one bit. Your head was swimming a little and you did your damndest not to make a sound. After a while, Grady slowed down, his lips brushing yours almost tentatively.Â
When he finally pulled back, you could tell he was waiting for you to bolt. But you didnât move an inch.
Grady grinned, that smugness back in full force. âThere. Now ya can remember which dogâs yours to patch up.â
You let out an incredulous, soft kind of chuckle and shook your head. âI donât wanna see ya gettinâ shot ever again,â you said, quiet.Â
He lowered his eyes, suddenly all serious. âGeorgiaâŚâ
âI know,â you said quickly. âI know. But I ainât gonna pretend itâs not nice to steal a moment.â
For a long time, neither of you spoke. Grady watched your face closely, those dark eyes flickering between your lips and the medicâs armband on your sleeve.Â
Gradyâs hand came up to run his fingers through your hair, lingering a heartbeat too long. âShouldnâtâa done that,â he murmured, and you had no idea if he was talking to you or to himself.
âToo late now,â you murmured, completely disarming him.
You only held him tighter and now you actually let yourself embrace him. His whole body stiffened, obviously not used to any of whatever the hell this was. If he found a girl in any of them liberated towns, sheâd usually be willing to sleep with him for cigarettes or a bar of chocolate. And he definitely wouldnât get hugs after.Â
Grady stood frozen in your arms, breathing slowly. He hadnât been held like this since⌠hell, probably since before the war. Maybe never.
âThis âs some right nonsense,â he grunted.Â
You felt the exact moment he gave inâthe way his shoulders dropped and his breathing slowed when he buried his face against your neck. His exhale shuddered out, hot and damp.Â
âGoddamn it, Georgia,â he said, quiet and angry.
And he held you tight now, unwilling to let go. When he finally spoke again, his voice was barely audible. âThey clear me for duty, Iâm gone by dawn.â
You looked up at him and you had nothing to say. What could you even tell him that would make this better?
âI know,â you said instead, then pulled him in for another kiss.Â
There were no sweet sendoffs out here on the front, and yet⌠You still stubbornly held out hope that there could be a happy ending. But you didnât tell him that. You already knew heâd say you were smarter than that.
Gradyâs hands tightened around you and he deepened the kiss with a roughness that bordered on desperation. He pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against yours.
Then he stepped back and swallowed hard, scrubbing a hand over his face. âHell. Just⌠stay alive, will ya?â
âMe?â Your eyes widened. âI ainât the one doinâ the fightinâ.â
You just put together the pieces that were left.
Gradyâs grip on your shoulders tightened like he was thinking the same. âSeen ânough medics catch stray bullets out there.â
He could see him wrestling with itâthe urge to do something he had spent five years training himself absolutely not to do. You were both pretending you hadnât gotten closer, on purpose at that, but you did.Â
If they were to drag Grady back to that tank, you had hours together at best. And you both still pretended you wanted to do nothing.Â
A small stupid part of you wanted to just laugh. Of all the men to get tangled up with...
Finally, Grady jerked his chin toward the motor pool where the privates were still keeping busy. âBest get back âfore they strip every damn engine for scrap.â
He took two steps before turning back abruptly. âYouââ The words died in his throat. For once, the man who always had something to say came up empty.
All of a sudden, one of the medics from the next tent over appeared at the entrance. He whistled sharply to get your attention, jerking his thumb toward the surgical ward. Right. Duty called. You walked out and turned away from the motor pool, but not before catching Gradyâs gaze one last time. He wasnât grinning anymore.
War made liars of you all.
The medical truck jolted to a stop at the crossing, the stench of cordite and burning metal filling the air. You stepped out into carnageâsmoldering tank husks, the acrid tang of spilled fuel, and the orange glow illuminating piles upon piles of dead SS soldiers.Â
Your boots sank into churned earth. It went muddy with blood. You scanned the wreckage, watching the crew of the other two American tanks being escorted to safety. One of them must have driven straight on the landmine, and the rest of it was still on fire. And then you saw itâFury, her barrel still hot, sides marked with shell impacts, but otherwise intact. There was a smoldering carcass of a Nazi tied to its front.
They had stood their ground and held that crossing. Now your crew was sent here to pick up the pieces and for a second or two you kept wondering if you even could force yourself to focus.
Movement near the tank made your breath catch and you sprinted that way before anyone could stop you.Â
And then you saw him.
Grady was crouched beside a wounded private, pressing a filthy rag to the kidâs leg while barking something at Gordo.Â
Half of him was completely blackened with soot, one sleeve torn open to reveal a nasty burn. He hadnât noticed you yet, too busy keeping the young boy in one piece. Theyâd stared down death and spat in its face. Again.
None of them looked victorious, though. Just numb.
âOh, shit fire, cowboy,â you muttered, unable to come up with anything else.
Grady finally looked up, blinking in shock. âGeorgia?â
Then the private whimpered and Grady adjusted his grip. âQuit squirming, Norman, or Iâll knock ya out proper!âÂ
âFuck⌠you,â Normal muttered, grinning wide.
Up close, you could see the fine tremor in Gradyâs hands.
âI got it,â you said quickly and took out the gauze and the sulfa powder. âDonât let nothinâ touch that burn,â you warned Grady, then pressed hard on the privateâs wound. The boy, Norman, howled. But you held him firm.Â
âNone of that. You survived this far, youâre gonna get through this, ya hear me?â You looked at him sharply, then watched Norman give you a terrified nod.Â
âY-yes, maâam.â
âGood. Breathe.â
Grady watched you scare the boy into surviving with a faint smirk on his lips. There was something very close to fondness flickering in his eyes for half a moment. Then he sat down in the mud, leaning against Fury, entirely exhausted.
âYâ did good, War Machine.â Grady grinned weakly, watching Normanâs pale face. âKid took shrapnel tryinâ to play hero.âÂ
âWasnât playinâ,â Norman muttered. âJust⌠did.â
âYeah, yeah.â Grady waved his hand, then regretted it quickly. That burn really was nasty. âReckon yâ saved both our hides.â
Grady watched your hands as you were moving swiftly with the bandages. âHelluva place for a reunion, Georgia,â he said with a humorless chuckle.
âSomethinâ like that,â you replied, breathless. But you smiled when he reached for you, pressing one soot-stained hand to your cheek.Â
Norman watched you both with an incredulous frown, eyes darting from Grady to you. âThe hell kinda Cajun magic did ya pull to get a lady like her?â
Grady flicked his ear, his scowl back in place. âWatch it.â
âThey got your sergeant back there,â you said, trying to change the subject. âHe ainât lookinâ too bad.â
As the stretcher bearers approached, Grady took a half-step back, watching you help Norman get on it. The kid was obviously in pain, but no longer bleeding. You very possibly just saved that leg.
Later on, you and the Fury boys were all packed in the medical van. It rattled along the dirt road, canvas walls trembling with every pothole. Grady sat stiffly on the bench, jaw clenched as you dabbed antiseptic on that angry red burn snaking up his arm. You could tell he was only half-lucid, exhausted like the rest of them.
âYou keep on fussinâ, Iâm gonna think you like me, Georgia.â
The other crew members exchanged knowing smirks.Â
âHold still, you,â you muttered, fingers gentle despite your tone. The van hit another bump, making Grady hiss as your hand slipped. âSorry.â
âSure you are,â he grumbled, teeth gritted.
But he reached for you, placing his palm on your thigh as you worked on dressing that burn. Bible immediately pretended to study the floor, and Gordo suddenly became very interested in his boots.
Don cleared his throat from the opposite bench, eyes sharp despite his own injuries. âCoon-Ass ever tell you âbout the time he got that other burn on hisââ
âNo,â Grady grunted, opening one eye. âWe ainât sharinâ no stories âbout me, Top.âÂ
You could see his ears going pink even underneath all that black grime. The van went silent again. The grumble of the engine and the rustle of the bandage became the only sounds around you.
Thenâ
âBest job I ever had,â Gordo offered weakly and they all looked at each other.
Grady laughed first, then Bible, then all the rest.Â
âBest job I ever had,â Grady muttered, eyes closed, his cocky smirk back in full force now that he had you fussing over him.
Don let out a quiet, relieved sort of laugh, and you found yourself right in the middle of a joke you didnât understand. But it didnât matter one bit. You wrapped that bandage carefully around Gradyâs arm and then let out a deep, heavy sigh.
âYou okay there, Georgia?â Grady asked.
You just nodded, trying not to fall apart. Because how could you even tell him you had expected to find all of them dead at that crossing?
The rumble of nearby engines signaled your return to base. Voices erupted around you, medics sprinting to action and escorting the most heavily wounded. The entire camp greeted the survivors like heroes.Â
When the van stopped and the others moved out, Grady hesitated. âGeorgiaâŚâ he started, voice rough.Â
You decided to make it easy for him and just pulled him in for a kiss.
âHey!â One of the medics waved at you, but then saw you were busy back there and he grinned.
âShe cominâ?â One of the nurses asked impatiently.
âWe can give them a minute,â the medic replied.
Meanwhile, Grady kissed you back with a determined grunt that betrayed how badly heâd been thinking of you. When you pulled away, he pulled you back in. He wasnât ready to let go, perhaps never would be. You got yourself one mud-stained loyal hound.
The medic outside cleared his throat pointedly. You could see the exact moment reality set back inâGradyâs gaze flicking past you to the camp, to Don, to where Norman was being loaded onto a stretcher.
âYeah, go on then,â Grady grunted, jerking his chin toward the triage tents. âBet they got boys bleedinâ out that need you moreân I do.â
Grady jumped out first and then carefully helped you down from that van. He held your hand a minute longer, giving you one more reassuring squeeze.
âYou gonna be okay?â you asked, smiling.Â
Grady chuckled, for a moment back to his usual cocky self again. âNaw, I ainât that easy to kill, sugar.â
No, he really wasnât. In fact, pretty much everything about him seemed solid. Easy. Maybe thatâs why you liked him so much.Â
âFinally! Kissed the livinâ daylights outta your man yet?â One of the nurses, Judy, teased when you entered the triage tent.
You rolled your eyes, but couldnât hide that smileâeven when you rushed to help her with another burn wound. âHe ainât my man,â you muttered.
âOh, honey!â Judy chuckled. âIf he ainât yours, then butter my butt and call me a biscuit.â
The transport ship groaned underfoot as it cut through the Atlantic, the scent of sea salt a pleasant aroma after years and years spent in blood and mud. Somewhere below the deck, a harmonica started up with a wobbly rendition of âChattanooga Choo Choo.â
Grady leaned against the railing, watching the coastline grow smaller and smaller through the morning haze. You moved closer to stand beside him. He didnât look over, just put his arm around you. âAinât real yet,â he muttered, squinting at the distant shores fading away in the distance. âKeep thinkinâ Iâll wake up back in that damn tank.â
His breath was warm against your temple when he spoke again, voice rough. âYou sure about this, Georgia? I ainât⌠I ainât much.â
You turned in his arms and looked up. Grady had faced down Panzers without flinching, and now apparently was sweating bullets at the thought of settling down.
âYou can fix a tank. Anâ draw one.â You shrugged. âGood enough for me, I reckon.â
Grady let out a huff, not quite a laugh. âYeah, but I ainât exactly what decent folk picture when their girl brings a man home.â
You arched one brow. âUh-huh⌠And you think thereâs a man back in Georgia whoâd stand for my temper?âÂ
âHeh.â He smirked. âGuess not. But a sweet liâl thing like you with a knocked-âround bastard like meââ
Before he could finish that thought, you pulled him by the shirt and pressed your lips to his for a quick kiss.Â
âI ainât sweet,â you muttered, then kissed him again.Â
He let out a sharp huff through his nose, then just pulled you closer, resting his chin on top of your head. âYeah, you are.â
âYou gettinâ sentimental on me, cowboy?â
âYeah,â he muttered into your hair, voice gone rough. âGonna build you a house, Georgia. Anâ we can get a dog.â
âOne that ainât mouthy like you, preferably.â
âGoddamn.â Grady snorted like he couldnât quite believe you. âThatâs how itâs gonna be?â
âWell, if ya jump now, reckon you could still make it back to Gerââ
You didnât manage to finish, because he pulled you to him roughly and kissed you like he wanted to glue you together.Â
After he let you pull away, reluctantly, you just grinned at him madly. âNow whoâs beinâ sweet?â
âAinât sweet.â Grady clicked his tongue once, grinning. âJust... planninâ.â The word came out awkward, unfamiliar.
âLast time you said you donât make plans,â you reminded him.
âI lied.â His grin was all teeth.Â
He grinned even harder when you hit his arm in annoyance.Â
âYa can plant a damn garden too,â he muttered. âTomatoes. Corn. Whatever the hell else you like.â
âYeah?â You tilted your head back to look at him again.Â
âYeah. Ainât promisinâ I wonât kill the plants,â he admitted. âBut Iâll dig the holes real nice.â
âYou best build us a bookshelf,â you decided. âSomeoneâs gotta stay literate in the family.â
Gradyâs entire body stiffened at the word family.
âMight get a radio,â he added, like it was an afterthought. âSo you ainât stuck listeninâ to me grumble all day.âÂ
You nudged him with your elbow. âWhat if I like your grumblinâ?â
âOh, darlinâ.â He snorted and his arms tightened around you. âYeah, now youâre lyinâ.â
âYou ainât never caught me in a lie yet,â you drawled, stretching up on your tiptoes. âBut I will say, if ya snore then we better build a doghouse out the back, too.â
That got his attention right quickâhis whole face did this funny little twist between offense and amusement.
âThe hell kindaâlisten here, woman, I slept elbow-to-elbow with four other bastards in that tin can for two goddamn years and not once didââ He cut himself off when you started laughing, and the realization hit. âEh, youâre pullinâ my legâŚâ
You laughed harder so he grabbed you by the hips and hoisted you up onto the railing suddenly enough to make you yelpâthen he locked both arms around you, keeping you steady. âYeah, guess I can make any noise ya like,â he muttered, leaning in until he nuzzled your neck.
Maybe it was the sunlight in your hair or the sea air making his head all hazy, but Grady just couldnât stop looking at you.
âAlright,â he grumbled. âGonna build ya a house so far out in the sticks, the only shit weâll hear are the crickets and your smartass mouth. Howâs that for a plan now?â
Then he kissed you before you could even think to argue.
hi miss Jess <3 i love this idea sm. i'm thinking of creating an au for Shane x my reader and i want to make sure it's okay with you. i'm fairly new to writing and am not sure if this is considered expanding your idea haha đ thanks in advance
Hey! Yes of course đ please tag me, I'd love to read it! đЎ
pov: despite all odds, Grady Travis survived the war. He now spends his days fixing things on your uncle's country farm and finding new ways to get on your nerves. You're absolutely not in love, not in the slightest...
Grady watched you go, especially the flash of thighs as you vaulted over the fence. His grin didnât fade as he turned back to your uncle. âShe always this friendly?â
The man adjusted his glasses, his eyes suddenly fixed on something Grady couldnât see. âDidnât put any new holes in you, did she?â He jerked his head toward the barn. âMight wanna watch your mouth âfore she changes her mind, though.â
If you want to read the full story, you can find it here.
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Your Shane fic series is the reason why Iâm gonna watch TWD btw. Iâm in love with him thanks to you
Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to hear it, it's a great series all in all! đЎđЎđЎđЎđЎđŤ but just wanted to preface this by saying he's a very controversial character and... Well, I'll let you form your own opinion. There are many interpretations of him. Mine is somewhat kinder. But him and Rick are my shaylas đ
âPart 4âThe Girl and the Ghostâ (Shane Walsh x fem!Reader)
âNo Surrender, BabyâA Short Seriesâ
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
SUMMARY â Coming soon to a farmhouse near you: Rickâs sister spent twenty years pining after her brotherâs best friend. Shane Walsh spent twenty years pretending he wasnât pining right back. Then the world ended.
AUTHORâS NOTE â I really tried to make their conversation flow, alas Shane is an emotional bastard and I hope I didn't make him OOC by accident... Apologies for the delay between chapters, I made some very important changes. While I always try to stick close to canon and make portrayal of Jon's characters as authentic as possible, I realized in this fanfic I cannot in good conscience include Shane x Lori romance. Not that I want to erase his flaws or anything, it's just that... I created this meaningful bond between Shane and Reader and I don't think in this universe he'd go for Lori. Not while Reader occupied such a huge chunk of his heart. So yes, apologize for the retcon. I had to heavily re-write chapter 4 and 5.
WORD COUNT â 6,537
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You checked on Carl later that morning and you had to admit, it felt good, knowing you had something to do with his recovery. Rick was still there, dozing off in the armchair by the window. You and Lori shared very stiff and very polite reunion pleasantries. She couldnât ignore you any longer, not directly and right in front of Rick, but that didnât mean you were best friends all of a sudden. No apocalypse could make you like that woman.
In the end, it was all so awkward that you ran away from that room as soon as you possibly could. You came back outside. In the yard, the survivorsâ camp was bustling with noises so for a moment you let yourself enjoy the good, old-fashioned people watching. Some of the survivors were hauling water, evidently pleased with having the pump at their disposal. Beth and Maggie sat out on the porch, husking corn. An old man was setting up a watch station on top of an RV van. A few others were using the clothesline for the laundry, chatting enthusiastically like all of this was a pleasant interruption in their usual routine. Perhaps it was, you had no idea what life was like outside of this farm.
You decided to get busy and went to feed the chickens. As you walked towards the coop, you saw Shane standing nearby, in the dried meadow. He was leaning against the tree, that leg still clearly bothering him and yet he kept refusing to sit the hell down and elevate it. You watched as he took out a crumpled pack of cigarettes from his pocket, shook one loose.Â
âYou trynna start a fire?â you asked, approaching him.
Shane didnât look up right away.Â
âTryinâ to mind my own business,â he grumbled, working the matches. âNah. Should be so luckyâŚâ
You sighed. âWhole field goes up, at least weâd know who did it this time.â
He frowned. âThis time?â
âYeah, happened once before, but they never found out who did it or why. Hershel told me some stories âbout the area, though. Apparently one farm over there behind that forest, it has always been haunted. So I guess it mightâve been the ghost.â
âHaunted. Yeah, right.â Shane snorted, the cigarette dangling from his lip. âThat what Hershelâs got you believinâ out here? Ghost stories?â
âBeats beinâ bored.âÂ
âJesus Christ.â He shifted his weight off his bad leg, grimacing. âGhost stores anâ chicken farminâ. You always were lucky.â
âYeah.â You pointed to your bag of feed and then gestured to the coop where the birds were already clucking. âSpeakinâ of which, they gotta eat.â
You thought heâd let you leave, but he followed. In any case, you wanted him to follow. Now that you finally had someone to banter with, life was looking less bleak. Nobody really understood your humor like Shane did.Â
Also, you doubted heâd listen even if you told him to sit down and let that leg rest.
âLemme guess,â he said. âIt was some Civil War soldier wanderinâ the fields at night, lookinâ for his lost regiment?â
âWho, the ghost?â You opened the gate and sprinkled the feed alongside the vegetable peels. The noisy birds gathered around you.
âNo, the chicken,â Shane deadpanned. âYeah, the ghost. Keep up.â
You smirked. âThought you donât believe in them?â
A hen squawked indignantly as another stole a scrap from under her beak. Shane shook his head.
âAlright,â he decided, his eyes focused now. âSo it ainât no Confederate soldier. What then?â He took a final drag and stubbed the cigarette out. âSome scorned farmer who hung himself? A witch in the woods? Câmon, donât leave me hanginâ.â
âItâs a girl.â
âA girl?â
âYeah, one day this guy strolls into town, asks her too many questions while sheâs trynna feed the chickens and she strangled him with her own braid. But then she regretted is, âcause he was kinda funny.â
Shane just stared at you for a moment, then let out a surprised bark of laughter that scattered three hens into an indignant flutter.
âYeah, alright,â he said, shaking his head. âYou got me. Real cute.â
âSee? But donât worry,â you said, tossing more feed around. âI only strangle people I like.â
âComfortinâ.â
âMmm.â
You flicked a piece of dry grass at him and it stuck to his shirt. You knew he wouldnât leave now. No, he just smirked that smirk that used to make you want to follow him into trouble.
âYou ever gonna tell me whatâs wrong with you?â you asked. âOr we just gonna keep dancinâ âround it till one of us drops dead?âÂ
âAinât dancinâ anytime soon,â he replied. âNaw, just⌠Donât see the point in pourinâ my guts out in the middle of a damn field.â
âSeems like a good place to me.â
âYeah, well⌠Think that oneâs got designs on you,â he said, nodding toward a particularly aggressive rooster strutting in your direction. âBetter watch yourself.â
âAinât my first chicken war.â You shooed the rooster with the back of your boot. âYou should be restinâ that leg anyway.â
âYou should be mindinâ your own business.â
âTried that. Itâs boring.â
âFigures.â Shane sighed. âAinât nothinâ. Just sprained, not broken, remember?â
He looked towards the house, but then right back at you. It was all so quick that you wouldâve missed it if you didnât know him. But you did know him. You knew that look on his face and it meant his head was somewhere ugly. Something in your chest clenched tight at the thought.
âCome on,â you said, wiping your hands on your jeans. âHelp me finish before that rooster declares independence.â
âI donât help with chickens. Iâm a cop, not a farmer.â
âYou were a cop. Now youâre just an asshole with a gun.â
Not many people could talk to him like that and get away with it, but Shane laughed again. That did something stupid to you, especially since a couple people from his group turned your way to get a better look. Apparently none of them believed he could even produce that sound. You tried not to let it get to your head.
âYeah,â he muttered. âThatâs me alright.â
Shaneâs smirk faded as his gaze dropped to the bandage on your forearm. Before you could pull away, his hand shot out and grabbed your hand.Â
âThe hell is this?â he muttered. âYou told me it was fine.â
âIt is fine.â
âLooks like shit, thereâs dirt all over it.â He let go just as fast. âGonna get infected out here, playinâ fuckinâ farmer.â
The easy moment between you was gone. Shane was back to being a leader of the pack.
âYou ainât stayinâ here,â he decided, quieter now. âWhen Carlâs good to move, youâre cominâ with us.â
You just stared at him. âUnbelievable.â
âWhat?â
âYou. Youâre unbelievable. Where the hell do you wanna go? This farm is the safest place Iâve been since this whole mess started.â
âSafe?â He scoffed. âOld man with a dozen kids and a prayer book, thatâs⌠Thatâs real cute. Ainât gonna matter a lick when a bunch of walkers come runninâ at you.â
âShaneâŚâ
âLook, Iâm just sayinâ.â He fished out another cigarette, needing something to do with his hands. âI found you once. Ainât losinâ you again. And Iâm sure as hell not stayinâ here any longer than I have to. This place ainât equipped to handle a horde any more than our last camp was. Only, this bunch⌠Lemme tell ya sumtinâ, none of them wanna listen to reason.â
You looked at him and this time you didnât say anything. Just frowned, in that way you did when you were deciding something. Then you took him by the hand and marched further into the drying meadow behind the house, deliberately stomping hard to scare away any potential snakes.Â
When you were far enough, far enough from the group, from the house, from the other survivors you let go of him and jabbed your finger at his chest.Â
âYouâre gonna tell me what the hell is wrong with you and youâre gonna tell me now, âcause I swear to God, Shane⌠I canât take no more of this.âÂ
âJesus!â He yanked his hand away, but not very hard. âThe hellâs wrong with you?â
âPlenty. But we ainât got the time to discuss all that, so you start talkinâ, âcause the way I see it, you havenât been makinâ a lotta sense since the moment I saw you. Somethingâs botherinâ you, I can tell. One moment, weâre talkinâ like we used to, another⌠You change the subject, try to talk âbout weird stuff like, like âperimeter checksâ and some bullshit I donât even wanna know âbout.â
âJesus wept⌠Sorry that survivalâs boring you, princess, Iâm sorry for tryinâ to keep these people alive!â
âThis ainât about them! I donât give a shit about these people, I havenât even met half of them!âÂ
âThe hellâs that supposed to mean?â
âI care about you! But youâre beinâ weird! One moment youâre all âhey, youâre my girl, you know that, Iâm takinâ you away from hereâ, another youâre all brooding and moody and you shut me out. And then thereâs you and Rickââ
âHey! Donât bring your brother into this.â
âWell, Iâm gonna! What the hell happened to get you two so⌠I dunno, youâre just weird around each other too. The only time you talked was when I was around, then nothinâ.â
âSo what, youâre the detective now, huh?â Shane nodded, an unamused grimace back on his face. âLemme ask you somethinâ, you been sittinâ on that speech long? âCause itâs decent, itâs emotional, Iâll give you thatââ
âStop deflectinâ!â You jabbed him with your finger again. âStart talkinâ.â
âYou really ainât gonna quit?âÂ
âNope.â
âEven if I ask nice?â
You scoffed. âEspecially then.â
âThat so?â Shane looked right at you. Then at your mouth. For a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you, but then he just took the empty feed bucket from you and pointed towards the house.Â
âCome on,â he said. âKidâs probably awake by now. You wanted to see him, didnât you?âÂ
âI saw him this morninâ, heâs fine.â You took a step back instead, annoyed at him for changing the subject. Again.Â
âYeah, but he might needââ
âJesus, just stop! I already saw him this morning, he was with Her Majesty who finally acknowledged my fuckinâ existence! Theyâre fine. But youâre not. So Iâm not leavinâ until you tell me.â
A couple of the nearby survivors looked over again. Shane caught Daleâs eye from the top of the RV. The old man was sitting in his chair and had the binoculars pointed your way.Â
âSon of a bitch,â Shane muttered, then grabbed your elbow and pulled you around the side of the hay shed, out of sight from the main yard. âJust⌠Stop. Stop talkinâ to me like Iâm some dumb kid makinâ noise.â
âButââ
âNah, just stop, just listen for once, okay? Listen to me. Iâve been out there, alright? I seen what happens when places like this get overrun. Ainât no wall high enough, ainât no god merciful enough, not when thereâs a thousand of âem pushinâ through the woods at once. You get that? Thatâs why I said we gotta go. And it ainât a matter of opinion, itâs a matter of when. So when the day comes, youâre cominâ with me. End of.â
He let go of your arm and turned away, dragging a hand down his face.Â
âYou think Iâm sayinâ this just to feel important or sumtinâ?â he asked. âYou think I get off on makinâ you mad?â
âSometimes,â you said, still unwilling to take it seriously. It pissed him off.
âI lost you once,â he said, refusing to stay quiet any longer. âI thought you were dead. Thought Rick was dead in that hospital. I lost everyone I ever gave a damn about andââÂ
âBut that ainât what happened,â you interrupted. âYou stopped talkinâ to me long before the walkers.â
He finally looked at you, and there it wasâthat guilty, heavy look you saw yesterday from the top of the stairs.
âIâm not leavinâ you here,â he repeated. âNot after we got you back again. Donât care if we havenât braided each otherâs hair for a decade, I ainât leavinâ you behind.â
âYeah, whoâs makinâ speeches now? Shane, it ainât been years since I last saw you,â you reminded him. âItâs barely been three months.â
âYeah,â Shane replied, still angry. âI remember. And?â
âYeah! And you barely even talked to me then, at the fucking hospital! My brother, in a fuckinâ coma, and you, you just⌠Pretended we were strangers! Now Iâm suddenly important again, now you suddenly donât wanna lose me.â You flailed your hands around. âItâs fine, you know. You donât gotta⌠Maybe I remember you more than you do me. Thatâs okay. But we used to be the Three fuckinâ Musketeers and when I left that damn town the first time, when I left for Atlanta, you didnât... You didnât even call me. For years. But now Iâm suddenly a priority? Man, youâre givinâ me whiplash.â
Shane went still and yet the world around you still went on. But nobody spoke. There was nothing but the dry rasp of cicadas and the wind rustling in the dried grass.
âYou done?â Shane asked.
You didnât answer, just crossed your arms over your chest and jutted your chin up. Never were one to give him easy exits.
Shane huffed out a breath and stepped closer, using his size the way he always did when he felt cornered. You didnât step back.
âI donât answer to you,â he said.
âThen fuck off,â you answered, your voice more bitter than wormwood.
And he did. He turned around, made three limping strides into the high grass, leaning hard on his good leg. Then he stopped. He looked up to the sky, muttering something, like he was asking some higher power to grant him patience.Â
âFuck this,â he said. âYou always did this. Couldnât just fuckinâ leave it.â
He turned around, his face contorted, two incompatible wants tearing at him. He tossed that empty bucket aside, but it did very little to make him feel better. In all honesty he wanted to put his head through a wall.
âYou want me to say it?â he asked, hoping the answer would be a no. âThat what you want? You want me to stand here in the goddamn chicken coop and bleed out my feelings for you?âÂ
âNo time like the present,â you replied.
âFine,â he spat. âYeah, I never called you. I watched you pack your shit for Atlanta back in goddamn â99 and I didnât say a damn word to stop you. You happy now?âÂ
âNo.â You shook your head. âYou couldâve said goodbye at least. Or told me not to go. Orââ
But Shane wouldnât listen anymore. He just started walking back towards that dried up meadow again.Â
âShane!â you called after him. âWhat the hell?!â
He turned around and saw you following, but he just kept on walking. He heard you coming after him, quick footsteps in the dry grass, and he finally stopped when you grabbed his arm. He turned back around, and the look on his face was full of regret.
âItâs âcause there were lines,â he said finally, evidently now resigned to tell how he felt for once. âThere were always lines. And you were gettinâ real good at makinâ me wanna cross every last one of âem.âÂ
âWhat fuckinâ lines, what are you talkinâ about?â
Shane knew that he just said too much. You could see it in his face. But you pulled at too many threads now. The things unspoken, old and new, were eating you both from the inside. So no, you wouldnât let this go. More importantly, he had nowhere to run, not really.Â
âYou think I didnât notice you followinâ me around, even back when we were no longer kids?â He shrugged. âYou think⌠Christâs sake, I stayed away âcause I had to! You deserved to have somethinâ bigger than King County. And then, then Rick got shot, then the walkers happened and Atlanta happened and I buried you,â he said. âAfter I buried your brother, I had to bury you too. Believe me, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.â
âWait, back up,â you said then and held your hand up. âWhat do you mean you buried him? I thought you got him out.â
âAh, fuck,â he muttered, rubbing the back of his head again, like he wanted to tear his own skin off. âOkay, I gotta sit.â
You obliged him and you sat down together, the tall dried grass swallowing you both. At first he just played with a few blades of grass. He picked them up and tore them apart. Needed to do something with his hands again, you knew that state. Even he wasnât reckless enough to light a cigarette here.
As for you, you werenât going anywhere. You waited him out, looking at him the same way when you were twelve and caught him stealing your daddyâs beer. Nobody else held that power over Shane with just a look. But the worst part was, he knew youâd expect the truth, no matter how ugly it was.
So Shane started to talk. The tale was very dry at first, just facts, like he was giving you a police report of what had happened in King County:
âYeah, I tried to get him out. Before I went for Carl and Lori, I went back to the hospital,â he said, staring at his hands. âTried callinâ you too but you werenât pickinâ up. And when I got there, it was chaos. Doctors runninâ round, nurses screaminâ, people gettinâ chewed up right then and there⌠And then I see the army and they start to gun them down. Not only the walkers, the civilians too. The fuckinâ... The nurses, the patients, and⌠Yeah. I had to hide, then I got to the room. Rick was⌠Just layinâ there. There were all these wires, machines, all that. Anâ he looked like hell. Worseân hell.â
Shaneâs hands kept tearing at the grass, the pieces falling into his lap. He didnât look at you, almost like he couldnât.
âThey were quarantininâ the town, lockinâ it down, and anybody inside that hospital was already dead as far as they were concerned. So⌠When I got to his room, the machines switched off. I tried to wake him. Shook him, yelled at him, the whole nine yards. Nothinâ. No pulse. Nothinâ.â He stopped. His hands were still. âHeld his goddamn hand. Told him I was sorry. I swear to you, I couldnât hear anythinâ, no heartbeat. The power went out, I thought he flatlined.âÂ
He wouldnât look at you still. He looked up towards the forest line instead and he stared down those trees like he could see all the way back to King County from here. You knew what he was thinkingâShouldâve kept my mouth shut. You could see it in his face.Â
âSo I sealed the door,â he continued. âLeft him there. Didnât have a choice. Couldnât bring a body through that shootout. Couldnât⌠And you, you were in Atlanta. But you were supposed to be next. I was supposed to find you after, I was gonna get you.â
âSo you left him?!â You hit his armâhardâand he let you. Wouldnât even stop you. âYou left him!âÂ
âYeah, I left him!â He reached for you when you hit him again and grabbed your arm since apparently even he had a limit when it came to self-loathing. âIâm a piece of shit, okay? Wouldnât search Atlanta neither. Came only as close as the highway before I spotted the first horde and went right back around.â
You went silent for a long while and Shane stewed in it, feeling horrible. You sat there, seething with anger, then yanked your hand away from his reach.Â
âI canât believe you.â
âBabygirl, listenâŚâ
You hit him, again, barely grazing his chin. âI fuckinâ hate you!â
You got up and marched right out of there, stomping through the dried grass that was at thigh-length so far out in the field. But Shane followed. He caught up to you in three limping strides and grabbed your arm, spinning you back toward him.Â
âNo,â he spat out, seriously pissed off now. âNo, you donât get to do that. You donât get to drag it outta me and then run off with your hands over your ears like a fuckinâ kid!âÂ
You tried to yank free, but he held on.Â
âYou wanted the truth!â he hissed. âYou stood there and you told me to tell you. So I told you! You donât get to act surprised now.â
âLet go of me,â you said
âNot till you look at me.â
âFuck you, Shane.â
âYeah,â he shot back, smiling coldly. âProbably. Go ahead. Hit me again. I deserve it. But donât you dare walk away from me.â
You knew most of the camp wasnât really that far away and this fight, this thing between you and Shane, it was way too entertaining to pass on. They were all probably listening and you tried your best not to yell.
âLet. Go.â
âNo.â He shook his head. âI know what I am. So now you know too. And you hate me for it, and let me tell you somethinâ, okay, you should hate me. Rick should hate me too, I think deep down he already suspects.â
You highly doubted Rick knew anything, but then again⌠You also knew Shaneâs self-loathing went deep. Ever since his mother left them, Shaneâs alcoholic father never failed to mention it was because she ânever wanted any kidsâ.Â
âYou think I donât replay that goddamn hospital room every time I close my eyes?â he asked. ââCause I do.â
âYeah,â you scoffed. âBut then you went to get Her Majesty, of course!â
Shane frowned, deeply confused now. âYeah. I did. Got her out, Carl too.â
âYeah.â You nodded, your face bitter. âBut not me.â
âThe hellâs Lori got to do with it?â
âEverything!âÂ
Shane stared at you like you just slapped him again. âShe was right there. Hiding in her car, with Carl. And so what, I was supposed to, what, leave them? Let the army gun âem down so I could drive into the middle of Atlanta and find you?âÂ
You considered it, really considered, and ultimately decided Shane didnât deserve all that shit you were giving him for it. It wasnât fair. Your issue with Lori wasnât even about him. It was all about Rick and how she twisted him around her finger, made him bend over backwards for her while never being satisfied anyway.
It was all about the divorce papers you discovered at their house, done and drafted while your brother lay dying in a coma.
You didnât answer. Finally, after a long moment, you spoke:
âIâm sorry. If you went in there, into the city, youâd either be bit and roaming or burned to a crisp.âÂ
He clenched his jaw so hard it must have hurt.Â
âYeah,â he muttered. âKnow that now, donât I? But back then I had no plan and no way to reach you. Called you near every damn day until your phone went to static, then nothinâ. So I buried you. Both of you. In here.â He tapped two fingers against his temple. âBuilt a box and put you in it and walked away. Thatâs what you gotta do. Thatâs how you keep movinâ.â
Shane finally looked at you and a million thoughts raced through his head.Â
âI canât go through buryinâ you again. I wonât.â
You were both silent now and you were all out of punches.
In all honesty, youâd rather walk into a herd of walkers than let Shane Walsh see you cry, but somehow the tears came regardless.Â
âI donât know what the hell you want me to say to that, Shane, âcauseâŚâ
âNah,â he grunted, impatient. âI donât want you to say a goddamn thing, but I know you hate me now. So just fuckinâ say what you mean or I swear Iâll lose it.â
Fair. He just spilled his guts and you were being a coward about it. Even if you never liked this mushy shit.
âJesus, I donât hate you. I had you in a box too, okay?â You sniffed. âYou and Rick. Mom and Dad. Everyone. Whole goddamn graveyard up here.â
You wiped your eyes quickly, but not quickly enough.Â
âHey, donâtâŚâ He hated tears. Especially from you. It made him feel useless, made his skin itch, made him want to punch something just to feel useful again.Â
âYeah, câmon,â he grunted roughly then lifted one hand and hesitated, like you were going to vanish if he touched you. He swiped his finger hard across your cheek. It was all too firm, a little desperate, like he was trying to wipe away the proof from your face that this conversation ever happened.
For a long while, you both just stood there. But after a few moments of quiet passed, Shane leaned forward and you noticed he no longer had that hollow look about him.Â
âI shoulda found you,â he said, quieter.
âNo, Shane, listenââ
âNah, babygirl, I shoulda went down there and looked for you.âÂ
That was the pet name he reserved only for you. It made your chest do something stupid.
âI let myself believe you were gone âcause it was easier.â
âOh yeah?â You scoffed. âAnd what were you supposed to do then, leave the quarry, run back to Atlanta, then what? You didnât even know where I lived.â
âI did.â
You stared at him, confused. âWhat?â
âItâs âcauseâŚâ He sighed. âAfter you left, I lasted maybe a week. Went âround your house, begged your address outta your mamma. Jesus, the shit she gave me for itâŚâ He huffed out a humorless laugh. âYeah, I never wrote you, but I had it.â
The tips of his ears were red. You could tell he hated every minute of that talk. He felt stripped naked, and he hated that you managed to do this to him just by asking.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â he muttered.
âLike what?â
âI just told you I had a goddamn address, not a fuckinâ poem.âÂ
You laughed quietly and shoved him, just lightly, like you always did when he got you flustered. âOkay, fine.â
âFine?â
âYeah.âÂ
âAlright.â He poked your arm, now a little more playful than dead serious from before. âBut you see how none of it ainât right? That⌠Ainât what I promised you.â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âYeah.â He laughed, quietly, like he was afraid the others shouldnât be seeing him like that. âYou donât remember? Hell, Iâll never forget. Rick and me, we promised your mama weâd walk you home from school, âcause you were gettinâ bullied. But we werenât payinâ attention, talkinâ âbout some girl or a game or some dumb shit. Weâre nearly there in the parking lot, next thing I know, youâre on the ground. Some bigger boys poked some fun at you, tore your backpack, I think. Ripped your shirt. You tried to fight them alone and I wasnât quick enough to stop them.â
âYeah, okay.â You cleared your throat, trying to choke down whatever sentiment that threatened to creep up on you. âI remember. We can stop talkinâ about it now.â
âYou were what, yea high, twelve years old, hands on your hips, blood runninâ down your nose, and you were lookinâ at me like you were the sheriff and I was the one in trouble.â
âJesus, stop,â you muttered, embarrassed. But at least now you were both smiling.
Shane was quiet for a moment, watching your face so intently like you were the only thing in the world worth his attention.Â
âYou wanna know the part you donât remember?â he asked.
You made a face. âThereâs a part I donât remember?â
âYeah.â Shane rubbed the back of his neck, glancing toward the farmhouse again. âRick walked you the rest of the way home. Told your mama you fell off your bike.â He paused. âI went back.â
âBack where?â
âBack to those boys.â
âLet me guess⌠To beat the shit outta them?â
He didnât answer, which was as good as an admission. Sometimes Shane would get this look in his eyes, like the one he had now. Something deeper, darker inside him took over and that angry blackness didnât bother him at all. But still, you were pretty sure you were the only one able to glimpse it so openly. It was like he wanted you to see it and ask if youâd stay or go.
âFound âem behind the gas station. Two of âem. Big bastards, thought they were real tough. One of them, I broke his arm,â he said, almost casually. âThe other one, I donât remember exactly. Maybe a rib.â
âShaneâŚâ
âDonât âShaneâ me. They hurt you. They didnât get to do that to you and walk away from it.âÂ
The wind stirred the dry grass around you, whispering, carrying a fresher scent. You moved closer to rest your head against his shoulder and you saw Shane wanted to retreat immediatelyâprobably fuck off right back to the camp, back to pretending he was just an asshole with a gun.
But he didnât. His hand lifted, hovered, then settled against your back with too much force.
âIs that why you had a broken nose the next day?â you asked.Â
âNah,â he smiled, just barely. âThat was⌠My old man, he beat the shit outta me for fightinâ.â
Your head snapped up and your face must have been horrified, because he gripped you tighter.Â
âWasnât bad, câmon. He hit like a drunk, missed everythinâ important.â
Shaneâs mouth twitched. âEmotionally what now?â
âConstipated. Canât let shit out properly.â
He stared at you for a second, then let out a startled laugh. âJesus Christ, girl⌠Only you.â
Finally, after that prolonged moment of holding each other, but not quite, Shane cleared his throat and took a small step back.Â
âI donât know what the hell Iâm supposed to do with you being here,â he said.
âWhyâd you think you gotta do anythinâ at all?â
He huffed out a breath. ââCause itâs what I do. I gotta do somethinâ. And everything Iâve done since King County⌠I told myself it was for the group. For Carl. For your brother. But now I ainât so sure.âÂ
âSo maybe it was?â you muttered, getting way too unwilling to discuss the difficult things anymore.
âSome,â Shane agreed, reluctantly. âBut some of it was âcause I wanted to be the cop again. Be in charge. Some of the reckless shit, I reckon itâs âcause I thought you were dead and I didnât give a damn what happened next.â
You pulled away then and poked him right in the chest, harder than you meant to. âDonât you fuckinâ do that.â
Shane looked genuinely puzzled. âWhat?âÂ
âI can hear it in your goddamn tone. You wanna give up and go all Terminator or some shit.â
âHeyâŚâ
âNo,â you interrupted quickly. âYou start talkinâ like that again and Iâm gonna break your other leg.â
âYeah, Iâd wanna see you do that,â he snorted. âChrist, you talk big for somebody half my size.â
âYou know I mean it.â
âSure.â
âStop pissinâ me off!â
âNah.â He reached out and pulled you back towards him. âAinât gonna happen.â
And then, just like that, he kissed you. His hand was still at the back of your neck and he pulled you closer. At first, you were too shocked to really do anything.Â
For a moment or two, Shane tensed up, like he knew he fucked up and doubted this would end well for anybody involved.
But you finally found your courage and kissed him back. You grabbed the front of his shirt, pulled him towards you, and Shane stopped thinking altogether. He kissed you harder, to make up for the twenty-odd years of wanting you and keeping his hands to himself.Â
As for you, you finally had what you wanted too and didnât care about anything else. Just this, you and Shane, hiding out in that damn meadow like two teenagers, trying to shut out the world and everyone else around you.
Shane ran his fingers through your hair and refused to let go. He wanted to touch more. Wanted to leave marks on your skin where your brother and everyone else could see them. Maybe he really was losing it. Or maybe some part of him still believed you would disappear if he ever lost sight of you again.
He broke away first, still catching his breath, and you let out a small whine of protest. Shane huffed out a quiet laugh at that sound and pressed his forehead against yours.Â
âIf you tell me somethinâ stupid like âwe should stop thisâ or mention my brother, I swear to God, Shane, Iâll sic that rooster on you, I will.â
He looked at you, incredulous. âJesus, woman, can you stop with the threats for one goddamn second?â
âNuh-huh,â you muttered into the collar of his flannel, refusing to let go of him. âNo can do.â Â
âAlright then.âÂ
Then his mouth was on yours again. Slower this time. You made a sound and his tongue slid against yours, deliberate and insistent. After a while of just this, just you kissing, Shane broke the kiss with a curse, breathing hard. Then he leaned in again and dragged his mouth down the line of your neck.
âDonât you dare leave now,â you sighed.Â
âWe canât.â
âDonât care.â
âGoddamn it, woman, I can see the goddamn RV from here. Daleâs got binoculars and nothinâ better to do with his time.âÂ
That made you laugh, even though you still werenât introduced to any of these people and had no idea which one exactly was Dale and which was Daryl. Not that you cared.
âFine.â You yanked on his hair and made Shane bend down to look you in the eye. âBut what the hell do we do now?â
He saw that hungry glint in your eyes and it hit him that he had seen it before. Back when everything between you was even weirder and he had to hold himself back even harder. But now there was no more fight left in him. In fact, what was left of his common sense was trying to make a run for it.
âWhat we do now,â he said, âis we get the hell outta this field, âcause I already know these people got nothinâ better to do than gossip. And then you anâ me are gonna survive this shit.â
âOh yeah?â You took his hand when he offered. âYou got a plan brewinâ between those big ears or somethinâ?â
Shane snorted and squeezed your hand, maybe a bit too hard. âAinât nothinâ wrong with my ears, smartass. Always heard you cominâ after me from the other end of the hallway, didnât I?âÂ
Shane started to walk back towards the house, limping a bit. He made it maybe five steps before he had to stop and adjust his weight.Â
âIâm fine,â he muttered, before you could say anything.
âDidnât say nothinâ.â
âYou were gonna.â
âMaybe I was gonna offer to carry your stubborn ass back.â
Shane let out a laugh. âSure. You weigh what, a buck twenty soakinâ wet?â
âKeep talkinâ. I know where you sleep now.â
He looked down at you. His eyes dropped to your mouth again. Then he grunted and kept walking, trying to put a respectable distance between you before somebody with working eyes and a big mouth happened to look your way sgain. Except that he refused to let go of your hand.
âYou donât know where I sleep,â he said. âI donât even know where Iâm sleepinâ yet. Hershelâs still figurinâ out how to throw us out.â
âUs?â
âYeah. My group. Rickâs group. Whatever the hell weâre callinâ it now.â
You laughed, exasperated. Shane glared at you.
âWhole point is,â he continued, âyou canât sneak up on me if I donât got a fixed location. So there.âÂ
âYouâre ridiculous,â you said, still laughing.
âAnd youâre a pain in my ass. We established this.â
âI wasnât gonna launch some guerilla warfare on you!â
âSee, now you mentioned it, I ainât so sure.â
You were almost by the porch now and Shane let go of your hand. Dale stood there, holding rope and trying to coil it into neat loops. The old manâs eyes moved from Shane to you and back again. You could already see Shane tensing.Â
âMorninâ,â Dale said.
âMorninâ,â you answered.
Shane just muttered something.Â
âRickâs askinâ for his sister.â Dale informed you. âIâm guessinâ that must be you?â
âYeah,â you said. âThatâd be me.â
You noticed Shane watching Dale like the old man was a rattlesnake waiting in tall grass, but you decided not to comment.Â
âGo on,â Shane said to you, jerking his chin toward the door.Â
You went up the stairs, but turned around before you entered the house and gave Shane a quick look.Â
âDonât be an idiot,â you said.
âToo late,â Shane replied.
You rolled your eyes and disappeared inside. Dale went back to coiling his rope. Shane stood there a moment longer, then let out a sharp huff through his nose, like a dog warning someone off its bone.
âNice morning,â Dale said, his tone still breezy.
Shane grunted.
âGood to see the boy pullinâ through.â
âSomethinâ on your mind, Dale?âÂ
Dale finished coiling the rope and set it down on the porch railing. âJust noticed you and the young lady seemed awful familiar with one another for folks who just met.âÂ
âNot that itâs any of your business, but Iâve known her since she was six.â Shaneâs hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing hard.Â
Dale just stared and now they were both surprised that Shane shared anything with him so voluntarily.Â
âYeah, nevermind all that. Tell you what, you got a point youâre workinâ toward here, Dale? âCause I got a busted ankle and a long list of shit to do, and chit-chat ainât on it.âÂ
âJust makinâ conversation.â Dale picked up his rope, slinging it over one shoulder. âBut since you ask⌠This groupâs holding by a thread as it is. Rick comes back, we find this farm, now his sister turns up too. Lots of threads gettinâ tangled.âÂ
âTangledâŚâ Shane repeated, shaking his head. âAinât nothinâ tangled, itâs all pretty damn simple. Rickâs family. That makes her my family. End of story.âÂ
Dale looked at him for a long moment, absolutely not buying anything Shane was selling.
âBest get that ankle looked at,â Dale said finally, carefully stepping down the porch steps. âWouldnât want you slowinâ us down if we need you.â
pov: rural Arkansas. Just him, you, nothing to do. You were (more than) a little bit in love with Grady Travis. You still have no idea he'll never return from the war.
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If you're a new writer and you're asking yourself "is this too personal, is this too much, will people think this is weird" that feeling is the exact location of your actual voice. The stuff that makes you want to close the laptop is the stuff nobody else could write. The safe version is always worse. Always. I have never once read something and thought "this would have been better if it was a little less honest." go further. It's always go further.
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