Priya Dharshini Thangamani

28 years. For 28 years of my existence, everything worked perfectly all in its impeccable alignment. I always got whatever I wished for. I never dwell on what ifs. But in accordance with the rule of universe, all good things should shift to create a balance. Here I am, a 30 something unemployed with a PhD from Germany. Been trying and almost landed a job, but yet again bad luck got in the way. Its been almost 2 years after graduation. My mind keeps shoving negative thoughts. Riddled with extreme "what if nothing works out?". But still, I am here. In all health and hearth, I am still here.

This year, I decided to be happy no matter what happens. I had been living a pathetic and unbearably sad life for the past 3 years. Being tired of waiting for good things to find me, I stood my foot ground and want to start living my fullest this moment . Of course, its not easy to handle years of negative conditioning. Thanks to neuroplasticity nature of brain, I can rewire my thoughts and patterns. I am gonna be morbidly positive. Within this year (its march now), I am gonna find a job. Doesn't matter where!! I am gonna get that job. I am not giving up my dreams of going abroad. I will keep applying despite my shortcomings. I believe in myself and I will do it. I will make it happen.

I am gonna write here, until that day comes. Everyday I want to write positively here, as an encouragement to myself. I am gonna make it happen for myself. It will work out for me. Just because I have endured life altering trauma, doesn't mean life can't become beautiful. I love my life. I love myself.Hence,I won't give up.

Somewhere in 

       Namjoon's shy smile ft. dimples, 

            Jin's cheesy ft. window shield wiping smile,

                Yoongi's gummy smile, 

                     Hobi’s sunshine smile,

                          Jimin's twinkling eye smile, 

                              Tae's dorky smile and

                                    Jungkookie's bunny smile, 

    I found myself gleaming.

Since the 4th year anniversary of BTS is approaching, I wanted to do a write up on how BTS has positively influenced millions of people around the world and most importantly mine.I have been an ARMY for over an year almost now and I can’t imagine how I would have hurdled the difficulties without BTS. I knew many ARMYs would think likewise.I am staying thousands of miles away from my family and friends, and this world isn’t easy for introverts. Being a hyper introvert, I found it difficult to get on with the daily aspects of my life. what may seem as a  regular chores to others felt like a worst nightmare to me. However, my only salvation was BTS, Precisely, their music made me feel that it’s okay to be who you really are, The thing which makes BTS really stand out is their bold approaches to address social stigmas and speak out the unspeakable issues. Pretty much every music you listen is all about love, relationships and heartbreaks or ideas pertaining to what can lead you to joyous carefree life. But you and I know that life is beyond those fanatic illusions. It is about suffering, fighting yourself and the world. The agony is never ending. All we need is a streak of light to be shone on us to make us believe in ourselves and to keep moving forward. BTS did that. They made me believe in me and to fight for myself. I can never be grateful enough for the impact that they had on my life and for giving me the WINGS to fly beyond this horizon. Thank you so much lads:)

From their debut song which boldly criticize the prejudices and social oppression on young fragile minds to winning Billboards award a week back, they deserve every dime of it.

I am including some of the iconic wins of BTS which have had an impact on their career and also on us, ARMYs.

Started as rebels who settles for nothing but success,

Happy tears moment,

The era which was flooded with sophisticated fan theories and ARMYs lost their peace of mind in figuring out what’s been BTS upto!

A walk down the memory lane. *intense feels*

Least did they know that their life ahead is full of these moments!

A new era begins.

The rest is history.

Thank you with all of my heart, Rap monster (Kim Nam Joon),Jin (Kim Seok Jin), Suga (Min Yoon Gi), J-Hope (Jung Ho Seok), Jimin (Park Ji Min), V (Kim Tae Hyung) and Jungkook (Jeon Jung Kook) for existing.