Dale 🦇

last night i dreamed i was a 6’3” lesbian dating Megan Thee Stallion

Why are alt-right looksmaxxing eugenicists the only men who will acknowledge men experience pretty privilege too

I was so proud of myself bc i realized I’d gone a week without drinking soda and then I realized it’s because I’ve been substituting it for wine

The sexual tension between me and the person on the other side of the traffic crosswalk

Today I accidentally said Mr. Mpregable instead of Mr. incredible in front of a whole bunch of coworkers

I think my brain hit some developmental milestone bc why did I just get nervous before cutting my bangs myself

Men really just be wearing shorts under their pants every day

What demon from hell is choosing to filter listings from MOST to LEAST expensive why is that even an option

Drunk as heyll and missing coconut Dr Pepper mmmmmm

When white queer people turn issues of racism that specifically target black and brown people into something that somehow effects white queer people they are literally carrying the All Lives Matter torch

When Gay people play Tomodachi life they turn it into a homodachi hellscape full of fever dream manifestations and the most horrific multi-universe crossover relationships you’ll ever see

Microdosing midol rn

A man referring to a vagina as a taco should be legally classified as a hate crime

Sounds like you’ve never known the triumphs and defeats…the epic highs and lows of blood sugar.