Gimme A Minute

I mean Kyosuke is a character that has a lot of complex feelings about his relationship with Hotaru.

He’s aware of how unhealthy it is but ignores that in favor of the good parts despite the fact it’s terrible for both of them.

If I had to describe him I’d say he’s selfish! Kyosuke is selfish, he’ll do things he knows is wrong because it’s easier for him. He’s a lot like Hotaru in that regard.

Kyosuke wouldn’t directly kill Hotaru, not like how Hotaru kills him in canon. I think his crime would be more similar to Kazui or Mahiru, where Hotaru commits suicide or maybe gets into an accident because of Kyosukes actions.

Kyosuke isn’t a very violent person, he’s soft and passive and doesn’t let things get to him. He’s also a liar. He lies and lies and lies and he can’t stop by the time Hotaru dies, because if he admits the truth the result would probably be the same.

In the swap au Kyosuke never admitted to Hotaru that the truth: that Kyosuke never loved him romantically. That he never would, even if he tried. And so Hotaru would never snap and strangle him.

They still get into the same argument though, the same fight with the same outcome. Hurt feelings and cruel words spat at him.

Kyosuke would move on like always and pretend nothing happened, because he always forgives Hotaru even though he never apologizes. But Hotaru would internalize it, something about the fight makes him internalized his self-loathing feelings and he will believe that he causes all of his problems (and he does some times)

Hotaru isn’t very good at handling his feelings, he feels he is the worst so he looks for someone who will agree with him. And if he can’t find someone he makes them. He seeks out people who are violent towards him. Who hate him. Who will hurt him.

I can’t decide if he would commit suicide or if he’d goad someone else into killing him.

I also can’t decide the method of suicide, overdose, hanging or some other method that wouldn’t cause a big mess, Hotaru wouldn’t want to ruin anything.

I picture Kyosuke waiting and waiting for Hotaru to arrive only to go to his house and find him dead.

It’s summer but his room is freezing and he’s not wearing his usual clothes and Kyosuke can’t move from the doorway. He can’t take his eyes off of him. He doesn’t even attempt to call for help.

There would be no note, no clue as to what was happening in Hotaru’s brain before his death. No final wishes or goodbyes, Hotaru never said goodbye, not really.

Never in a way that would be a finality. It was always “see you soon” or “next time” or some other phrase that implied he intended to see someone again.

I was also thinking about cover songs, I came up with this

T1: MKDR

T2: Monitoring (Best Friend Remix)

No stranger to rejection

(Analysis under the cut)