부

You throw your head back in laughter, eyes somewhat half-opened as you looked around your friends. Jun is animatedly telling a story between his two costars, Nayeon is resting her head on Jeongyeon’s shoulder, Wonwoo is nodding his head along to whatever song Sana, Momo, and Jeonghan were singing along to. It hits you harder than you had thought possible, you missed them.

But there’s a slight haze that has filled your head, and your reach for the pitcher in front of you, only to find it lighter than you expected it to be. 

“I’m just going to get some water,” you mumble to no one in particular before sliding your chair back and stumbling into the kitchen.

You stifle a yawn, without the loud, incessant voices of your friends, the tiredness from the day slowly seeps into your system. You feel your hands and arms grow weak as you open the refrigerator door. 

“Let me.”

You hear a voice from behind you. Warm, breathy, familiar. Just a couple of feet away, and there’s no doubt of the goosebumps that now pricked the back of your neck. You don’t look back, leaning your temple on the edge of the fridge door. “Did you follow me here?”

Joshua laughs into the air, and you just know the corners of his eyes crinkled with his smile. “I just wanted some water too, Yn.”

He guides you away from the fridge, letting you lean your weight on the kitchen island instead. Crossing your arms, you watch as he grabs a glass from one of the overhead cabinets. He fills it completely with cool water and hands it to you with a small smile.

”Always the gentleman.” You shake your head and take a sip, the haziness in your head slowly mellowing to a slight buzz. You empty the glass and place it by your side; Joshua’s watching you, and you’ve known him long enough to recognize the hesitation in his gaze and the small shake in his fingertips. 

Raising a brow, “Hi?”

”Hi.” He breathes out, “I’m—”

You hold out your hand to stop him, “You better not say you’re sorry.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard his voice in months. You still remember the last time you did.

‘I just wish you could have chosen me’ 

It came out in a whisper, almost like a prayer. Maybe even a plea. Despite the miles of distance and the slight static of the phone signals, you heard him. You didn’t exactly have the heart to ask him to elaborate. 

You take a deep breath, tilt your head to the side, “tell me how you’re doing instead. Can’t believe I had to hear from Wonwoo that you’re considering resigning from your job.”

Seungcheol watches from the kitchen doorway, your back is turned towards him, and he’s not quite close enough to hear your conversation. But he watches Joshua scratch the back of his head, a sheepish smile overtaking his features, and a familiar look of longing in your best friend’s eyes.

He loves you too much to ever ask you if you had noticed it too, and he trusted that Joshua respected your friendship enough to never act on it.

Still, he can’t help the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he slowly watches the tension disappear from your shoulders. It takes him back to when he had hugged you earlier in the day, feeling your entire body stiffen in his embrace. 

You used to melt into his touch, and now he watches from afar as you gently push a hand towards Joshua’s shoulder, laughing ever so slightly at something he had said.

Seungcheol knew he had no right to feel this way. But knowing just that and not acting on it are two completely different things.

He takes a couple of steps forward, slowly but surely filling in the bits and pieces of yours and Joshua’s conversation. 

“It’s been a long day for me, I think I’m going to head up to the room.” You yawn, stretching your arms, but suddenly stumbling over nothing.

Joshua, only being a couple of feet in front of you, manages to catch you before you could plummet face first into the cold wooden floor. An arm around your waist, he hooks your arm around his shoulders, “I’ll take you.”

”It’s okay, Joshua, I can take them.” Seungcheol finally makes his presence known, stepping around the kitchen island and putting an arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, Seungcheol.” Joshua steps back, tentatively removing his arm around your waist, “I didn’t notice you were back.”

”I just got here.” His lips press into a thin line, practically forcing the corners to curve up in a small smile. “I got this, I’ll join everyone in a bit.”

”Right, of course.” Joshua takes a couple of more steps back, trying to put as much space in between himself and the two of you. His hands go up in defense, a sinking feeling of guilt creeping into his fingertips, as if he had just committed a crime. “I’ll leave you to it.” 

You wait until Joshua rejoins the group on the patio before letting out the heaviest sigh. 

If it hadn’t been for the mix of alcohol and exhaustion, you probably would have pushed his shoulders with more force. Instead all you could manage was an ever so gentle nudge that barely rocked his feet. Seungcheol catches your wrists just as you were about to pull them back.

“I can go back to the room by myself. Let me go.” You hiss and narrow your eyes, hands balling into fists.

”I can’t let you go.”  Seungcheol replies, the sternness in his voice not quite matching the gentleness of his grip on your wrists, “You’re drunk.”

”I can go up a couple of flights of stairs.” You roll your eyes, but you feel your knees shake ever so slightly, nearly buckling under the tension that now filled the air, “I don’t need you.”

”Come on, Yn, baby,”

Your body gives in at the familiar pet name, finally giving in and leaning your weight against him, a slight shiver running down your spine.

”Let me take you to our room, please.” He speaks, low but nonetheless sincere. You can’t quite recall the last time you had heard it in that way.

”I fucking hate you.” You mumble into his chest, letting sleep slowly overtake your system.

”Yeah, I know.” He sighs before helping you up the stairs. 

from reese, with love <3

Guess who got sicccckkkk (me!) but the happy burstday drop had me feeling better hehe wonwoo solo got me giggling kicking my feet frrr and shuaaaa ?? Oh myyyyy anyw love love love our boys

Anyways, feeling a little rusty on the writing but this wraps up day one !! I’d really love to know what you guys think so far hehe every like, reply, reblog really is so so appreciated ! Thank you and i’ll see you soon :)

“I know we’re past the point of small talk, but I have to ask- how are you guys?” Soonyoung asks excitedly from the driver’s seat, his fingers rhythmically tapping on the steering wheel to whatever summer-hit was playing on the radio.

Your throat dries up, fingers clenching and unclenching as your eyes meet Sana’s expecting gaze, her body turned towards you and Jeonghan from the passenger seat. Your lips part but you can’t quite find the words you wanted to say.

How were you? If Soonyoung had asked you the question a year ago, it would have definitely been easier to answer. The move's still tough, the new job is exciting, you and Seungcheol were making it work despite it all. 

How you wish the answer could have stayed the same, instead Jeonghan pipes up from beside you, “I got a pet rock.”

“Does it have a name?” Sana’s brows shoot up in surprise, a small smile playing on the corner of her lips. “Is it just there… in your apartment?”

”Doljjong, has a little room and everything. You know, only the best.”

You let out a breath of relief as Sana asks question after question on Jeonghan’s pet rock, placing your focus instead on the scenes outside the car window. You can’t help but let your eyes widen in wonder at the clear, bright summer sky, the kitschy little souvenir shops with chipped paint on their wooden signs, the small, seemingly family-owned diners and restaurants, locals and tourists alike throwing their heads back in laughter as they walked on the paved sidewalk, ice cream cones and soda cups in hand.

It’s certainly a stark contrast to the tall, imposing concrete buildings and the people in suits rushing to get to their next meeting that you had grown accustomed to in the past couple of years. 

“What about you, Ynnie? How’s life treating you?”

Soonyoung’s voice snaps you out of your trance and you realize there’s no escaping the question.

“Yeah, I’m alright… you know, still busy as ever…” Your voice trails off, so quiet and unsure that you don't quite recognize yourself. It’s technically not a lie, you were in fact busy as ever, but the silence tells you that Sana and Soonyoung were waiting for more. 

You feel Jeonghan’s gaze on you, brows narrowed and lips pressed into a thin line. It’s a look that’s not exactly uncommon.

It’s the same look you’ve seen on him when he reads an urgent email outside of office hours, or when it’s his turn to move in a board game. Calculating, carefully contemplating his next move.

Except his eyes this time around seem softer, gentler.

The exact same look you had seen when you told him you and Seungcheol were going through a bit of a rough patch.

Also technically not a lie. 

“Yn got a promotion.” He replies, gently nudging you with his shoulder, “So being that busy actually led to something. I don’t know what they’re being so humble for.”

He laughed with the same charming, teasing air that your friend group had known him for. You mouth a ‘thank you’ and he simply offers a small smile and a shrug in response. 

“Guess we have a lot to celebrate then!” Sana claps excitedly and all you could do was let out a quiet exhale.

It’s a forty-five minute drive from the airport to the beach house and you fill the time by asking Soonyoung and Sana if they had anything planned for the wedding; it takes everything in you to think of the box beneath your bed, the one that contained invitation samples, the business cards of the best bakers and florists in the city.

Before you know it, Soonyoung is pulling into the driveway and you’re hit with the overwhelming scent of salt air and the lulling sound of waves crashing into the shore as soon as you step out of the car. 

In front of you is the charming beach house which would be your home for the next seven days, with its white wooden panels and wrap-around porch, and little flower bushes.

The door opens before you could even reach for the handle, Jun almost immediately engulfing you in a hug. “Come in, come in. Welcome to my home.”

You tilt your head to the side, “You own this place?”

You’re not too shocked, given his line of work, but he shakes his head. 

“Oh no, it’s an Air BNB, I just found it online.” Jun winks, grabbing your bag from Soonyoung’s hand. “I’ll bring your bag up, a certain someone is still on his phone. Main bedroom right?”

”What? Who’s on his phone?”

Before Jun could answer, Soonyoung’s voice calls out, “Guys, Yn and Jeonghan are here!”

There’s a lack of a response back, his voice seemingly echoing across the wooden walls. 

“Where is everyone?” Jeonghan asks, looking around, “You said we were the last ones to get here.”

Instead of a response, you hear the whoosh of a sliding glass door, one that led to the patio. What greeted you was the last man you expected, let alone wanted, to see.

Choi Seungcheol.

The world feels like it’s closing in on you, whatever shock that you’re sure is reflected on your face is certainly not reflected on his. He stands there, the smile that you had fallen in love with now completely foreign toward you. 

You feel two gentle pairs of hands push your back towards him.

”Surpriseeee! Can you believe this guy almost wouldn’t come? If me and Soonyoung hadn’t-”

Whatever else Sana was saying tuned out into a distant murmur as you see Seungcheol walk towards you. Your hands stay completely frozen by your sides as he wraps his arms around you.

”They’re watching, Yn.” He mumbles by your ear, low, wrapping his arms tighter around you, as if he were proving a point. 

“I’m certainly surprised” You stutter out as Seungcheol pulls away, watching wide-eyed as he gives Jeonghan a side-hug and taking your bag from Jun. 

“Yn must be tired from the trip, I’ll take them up to our room.” He grins, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers, pulling you towards the direction of the stairs.

You follow him in a daze, sure that your hands are sweating in his grip. You had almost forgotten what it felt like to hold his hand. This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, you repeat over and over again in your mind. As if saying it enough times would magically bring you back to your apartment, overwhelmed by the bright city lights and car horns honking instead of the feeling of Seungcheol’s hand grasping yours. 

The second the door to the bedroom closes, you immediately drop his hand and walk towards the farthest corner of the room. 

“Yn.” He exhales, his shoulders slump forward, completely dropping the act. “I didn’t want this either.”

Your feet feel like they have been glued to the carpet, lips zipped shut. But the second you see him take a single step towards your direction, your brain tells your body to make the most logical decision it could think of.

Locking yourself in the en-suite bathroom. 

from reese, with love <3

episode three: won't let them break your heart

episode four: alone, i don't want to leave you

episode five: baby, hold on, baby, hold on (wherever we are)

episode six: baby, hold on, baby, hold on (no matter where we are)

episode seven: even if the world is ending

episode eight: so let me listen to all your emotions

episode nine: i just want to love you