godforsaken

I’ve got heat from the Twitterverse for not liking snow or croutons. My heel turn’s officially in motion, babes.

Snow sucks. Croutons are just stale bread. It’s not that deep. 

It’s barely November and I already have a cold. I’m over it.

Do we have to quarantine you?

10 minutes till The Bump, tune in to watch me try to keep these geeks in line.

Status update: I failed. Less than 2 minutes in. But Truth was there so it was really a lost cause from the start.

Truth is good people, tell him I miss him.

You guys are awfully quiet.

Travel. Typhoon fucking shit up. General bullshit. Ain’t got much to say, man. 

Now I regret telling you to choke all those times in 2013. Really wore out its power before I knew what to do with it.

Karma’s a funny thing, man. 

I hope shards of glass got stuck in your ass from the coffee table spot.

I’m still pulling out glass from 2009. What’s something fresh?

Red used to be my favorite color. Alas.

What’s it like being that one dumb bitch from the Evil Dead? Asking for a friend. The friend is you.