Steve Randle

Go’on back ta bed then, ya dingus. 

Jesus, what’s with people statin’ the obvious today? Two, hush. 

Then go back to sleep? 

Woah, what an idea! Can’t believe I didn’t think of that all on my own! Geeze, what do ya think I am? Some kind of idiot? If I could I would. 

What can I say? My witts preceeds me. Yes, the same one. We came in packs, to everyone’s delight. You could say that I am in a way, yes. I’m Sebastian. Dominant. Your name?

Sure, whatever ya say man. Why? You all expectin’ some kind of fight or somethin’? Me and my boys run in a ‘pack’, but that’s for protection reasons. What’s your story? Oh, fancy. Me? I’m Steve Randle. 

It’s also way too early for that amount of cursing. Although the time, and the weather gives you some sort of justification for such a harsh sentiment. 

Now that’s where you’re wrong- ain’t never too early for cussin’. See, now you’re catchin’ on. You’re another one of them Smythes, Don’t know if I’ve met you yet, you seem new .

The worst part is waking up this early without even setting an alarm. That’s, like, a whole new level. But hey, how’s everything? The Academy treating you well so far?  

You got that right. I don’t get why this happens. I was so tired. Eh. It is what it is. Is that a joke? Trick question? I’m a sub. Of course it ain’t.

Fucking tell me about it. Waking up this early on a Sunday is sinful. You’re Steve, right? I haven’t seen you out here in a while. How’s it been, man?

Finally, someone gets it. Yeah, that’s me. Probably haven’t. I been tryin’ to avoid...Well, everything. It’s been alright I guess, aside from this ‘hacker’ shit. You?

If you’re so tired of the bullshit, I could always use an extra set of hands to assist in my workout routine. I’ve been up and moving since 5am.

..Workout? 5 AM? Good God, man. Who hurt you?

Too early? It’s never too early to be productive! I call these my “sneaking hours”– because this is when I do my Santa-level secret stuff. Like the gifts I sent out the other day. You’re totes welcome for that, by the way!

More power to ya I guess, man, but the only place I feel like sneaking is back to bed. Oh. Yeah. Thought you looked familiar. 

Two: Hey, brother. Yer with me for tha week, ya know tha rules.

Two: By that I mean there ain't none! Boy, I bet I really had ya goin' there! But just don't do no stupid shit, k? I'm dealin' with enough shit here already, ya dig?

Steve: I've got you, bro. I ain't gonna do anything stupid. Thanks for takin' me.

Don’t it just look like some kinda winter wonderful outside? A++ decoratin’ that is. I mean that shit’ll just get anyone in tha mood to be festive. Fa la la la la and all’a that shizz. Anyhoot, if anyone wants ta do somethin’ let a fella know! I’m thinkin’ of makin’ an appearance later, maybe signin’ some autographs, might even open up a photo op! YOWZA! 

Jesus H. Christ, somebody needs to get your ass on some fuckin’ meds Two,  swear. If you’re lookin’ for someone to go with you, you know I will. Unlike some people ‘round here, I won’t have ya goin’ on your own. Let me know, let Soda know. You know I’m with him this week.