A whateverthefuckifeellike blog

I would like to offer an alternative.

Humans are tough. We can shrug off plenty of injuries, and we recover pretty fast from most others. Hell, we find minor injuries amusing (Don’t tell me you’ve never laughed at someone getting hit in the balls).

Humans have a skewed sense of danger. We think baby anything is cute- tigers, lions, alligators, whatever, no matter how scary they grow up to be- and even then there’s people that would happily cuddle up to a grizzly. Even less adventurous humans keep vermin as pets, or snakes, or dogs, that apex predator sub-species we made.

We are fascinated by morbid and scary stuff. We have a whole genre designed to terrify people. Tons of fantasy revolves around deadly monsters, plenty of which involve romance with said monsters. Lots of grim dystopias in sci-fi. Even children’s stories involve grandmothers getting eaten or witches getting cooked in their own oven.

And if you’re on this site, you know all the jokes we make about depression or social anxiety, or joking about wanting to die.

We aren’t the Doc Brown species.

human: “gonna have to wash this blanket to get rid of that new smell,” alien: *makes a note that humans prefer to mark objects with familiar scents*

human: “gotta love that new car smell” alien: *scratches out previous note and replaces it with a question mark*

human: “old books smell so good,” alien: *increasingly frustrated note taking*

and we just never really think about it bc its so easy and simple to us that pretty much all of our sports are based around the concept of throwing things accurately