potameides

• His mother died shortly after he left Hogwarts. Eileen’s health had already been in terrible condition due to her way of life, and she was increasingly neglected. In the end, she passed away from some sort of magical illness.

• Severus only returned to Spinner’s End for the funeral, where his father showed up drunk. He decided he had no reason to go back there, especially now that his mother was gone and he was involved with the Death Eaters, finally able to leave the Muggle world behind for good.

• He handled Eileen’s death terribly by completely ignoring his need to grieve, pretending it hadn’t happened, and using the fact that he no longer had any connection to the Muggle world to sever himself from that part of his life, which he had always hated as it reminded him of terrible things.

• Another terrible way he coped was by throwing himself into his “work,” which at that time consisted of political scheming with the Death Eaters. He volunteered for every undesirable task just to avoid stopping and thinking about things he didn’t want to face.

• That’s basically how he ended up taking on espionage tasks for Voldemort: aristocratic pure-blood wizards saw sneaking around in alleyways as lowly work. They wanted to plan assaults or be on the front lines, playing heroes of fanaticism—not hiding in the trash to see what scraps they could gather. Severus didn’t mind because it meant being out all day, avoiding places that made him stop and think.

• Being meticulous, perfectionistic, and someone who liked working alone, he turned out to be excellent at it. Since he was so good at it, he caught Voldemort’s attention. Voldemort might be oblivious when it comes to emotions, but he’s practical and knows how to spot talent.

• This led to Voldemort giving him more complex and secretive tasks, tasks he wouldn’t entrust to many others. It was the door to Voldemort’s inner circle, in a way so discreet that many in the organization still thought Severus was just “Lucius’ half-blood lackey.”

• Speaking of Lucius, of course, he was the one who brought Severus into the Death Eaters. They were pretty close during that time, with Lucius taking on a kind of patronizing, older-brother role toward him.

• That was also when Severus started to really bond with Narcissa. They’d known each other for years but hadn’t spoken much due to the age difference and because he mostly saw her as “Lucius’ girlfriend.” But once they were out of school and the Malfoys were about to get married, they started interacting more, and Narcissa sort of “adopted” him.

• He attended the Malfoys’ wedding, which took place in early 1979.

• That spring, he found out that his father had been found dead in an alley. No one knew what had happened; they just told him that Tobias had been fired from the factory months earlier for showing up drunk too many times, and afterward, he’d never left the pub.

• He didn’t care about the details—just that the house was now his, and he didn’t want it for anything.

• Instead of grieving properly for this second loss, so close to the first, he focused even more on advancing within the Death Eaters, taking on more and more dangerous and reckless missions.

• Voldemort admired his dedication to the cause and his willingness to risk his life, but he had no idea that Severus didn’t care about the cause at all—he just wanted to stop thinking.

• That same year, he also found out that Lily had married James Potter. When he was told, he didn’t say anything—he just compulsively smoked through two packs of cigarettes in a single day.

• His favorite coping mechanism? Absolute avoidance of emotions, with no attempt to acknowledge or process them.

• He wasn’t sad or jealous about Lily’s marriage—he was absolutely furious and deeply disappointed. This culminated in him getting into a ridiculous fight with another Death Eater over some stupid comment. He ended up lunging at the guy and completely wrecking his face.

• Some of the more sadistic Death Eaters thought Severus was a pretty tough guy after that, like some kind of rabid animal. But in reality, he was just a kid who’d been taught to handle emotions with violence.

• He heard the prophecy because Voldemort had finally entrusted him with one of the riskiest tasks: spying on Dumbledore. Ironic, since years later Dumbledore would ask him to do the same thing, but in reverse.

• He liked the recognition Voldemort gave him, liked feeling useful, liked occasionally visiting the Malfoys, and liked how Narcissa would shut Bellatrix up whenever she made snide remarks about him. Bellatrix reminded him too much of Sirius Black—not just in her arrogance, impulsiveness, and insufferability, but also in their physical resemblance—and it drove him crazy.

• He often hung out with Mulciber, Avery, and Rosier, but he got bored quickly because all they did was get drunk and fall over after barely a few drinks. They couldn’t hold their liquor at all.

• Severus wasn’t much of a drinker for fun, but when he did, he could handle a lot more than they could. He would never have admitted it out loud, but in those moments, he thought of them as spoiled brats.

• He had a couple of flings with some pure-blood girls they introduced him to, but nothing serious. Narcissa would sometimes scold him, telling him to find a good match and settle down because “family, blah blah blah,” but it all just sounded like old-people talk to him.

• Around that time, Lucius was obsessed with trying to get Severus to apply for Ministry positions, claiming that with the right connections (i.e., his), Severus could rise to a high-ranking role. But Severus wasn’t interested and never paid him much attention.

• He perfected his Occlumency skills during that period because many Death Eaters were skilled Legilimens, and he didn’t want anyone getting into his head.

• He met Draco shortly after he was born, which was one of the most awkward moments of his life. He had no idea how to interact with a newborn, so he just stared at him for five minutes like he was some exotic animal that was both intriguing and baffling. Narcissa eventually had to tell him to stop staring because he was going to traumatize the baby.

• The idea of returning to Hogwarts or Spinner’s End would never have even crossed his mind—until he heard the prophecy.