non-local slime streamer

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

formative years? aren’t they all?

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

Reblog you stay silly

Duuuuuude its so cool how you made ur car go 2 mph faster and sound like it was taking a shit... I bet it was pretty expensive, to make your car sound like it was poopshitting and farting whenever you accelerate slightly. Thats so cool.

my liege is that item on the shelf too high for you to reach? fear not, i shall grab it for you. HNNNNNGHHH MMMMMHHGGH HHHHHHHH (cant reach it either)well shit my liege