get off my lawn

I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.

Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."

he doesn’t know it but russell crowe’s dream job is playing the king at a renaissance festival. horseback riding. grand monologues. silly little outfits. a fuckass accent. leading the tavern in a singalong. unlimited beer on tap. nobody gets to speak to him unless they make it through his entourage. putting people in the stocks. getting put in the stocks himself.

Someone will say "as a queer person in the heart of empire, my life is in danger every day" and you'll find out they're a developer for Amazon and live in San Francisco or Seattle or some shit, and then you'll meet a trans girl from Alva, OK who's like "Yeah, things are pretty good. AutoZone moved me to full-time."

Someone in a queer group in my current blue city said that they didn't like expressions of solidarity because it "diluted their oppression".

#That's what I mean when I say the foundation of feminism and queer community should not fixate on victimhood #Once you feel that our suffering is our shared experience an not our love then our suffering becomes vital to the culture #I don't want a culture where suffering is vital #I want a culture where love is celebrated #The suffering is an imposition not a prerequisite #And yeah I sure fucking hope our oppression is diluted bitch you WANT us freebasing the uncut shit???

all yall make jokes about couples and their nonromantic third wheel having fun together, but im the one getting treated to food tonight by the couple im nonromantically third wheeling. you wish you were me

I'm sorry I read this as "necromantic third wheel" and went on a very rapid powerful imagination adventure. hello lovebirds I'm the skeleton here for breadsticks

i do in hindsight really love the concept of complaining about adaptational changes in a 3000 year old oral tradition of which there isn’t really a definitive version so much as a surviving one that is also the most adapted story of all time. my chud forebears in Roman Britain throwing rocks at a bard going nah nah nah the last one said some different other shit at that part you gotta do it again is a comforting image to me

Almost one thousand years ago a woman with my exact face and probably better bangs in rural Morgannwyg was defending to the whole village the latest iteration of the marchog gwyrdd where Gwalchmei ap Gwyar is called Gawain and gets a little gay with it even though it’s different than the tale we have earlier heard from a previous bard so that I can fight the same battle on letterboxd today. God bless complaining the worlds oldest activity

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

My beautiful wife Lower Temperatures Expected Today is missing, has anyone seen my beautiful wife Lower Temperatures Expected Today??

the thing they dont tell you about learning to "trust the process" is that you forget and relearn it every single time you make a new piece of art. unfortunately there is no cure either

What a lovely little post you have here! *Drinks up its wordjuice to add it to my lexicon like some form of Vernacula*

*Sinks my teeth into your vocabillaries*

OP, if she did that much analysis that she remembers exact turns of phrases, she liked your book and would like to know you