knock me out

Anxiety has been kickin my ass.

I cleaned my car tonight and I’m going to put new tires on in a few months and fix my rust spots. Tryna take care of shit and myself and live good. I worked out today and I ate and I slept well last night and I think that everything is going to be okay. I am not going back to where I was or who I was. Onward with open hands, I don’t need to carry those old weights around any longer.

Long roads home

Learning about love languages

Doodles and MWY

I want to build up myself. Speak good things into life and do what I can to make it happen. I want to listen to my heart and not feel afraid to face the unknowningness of the future and making changes and choices. I want to focus on making art and writing and reading and planning and performing. I want to learn how to be alone and not crave someone else’s attention until it’s time. I want to relearn how to fall in love with myself and my own company and going on my own adventures. I am my own responsibility and I am in charge of my life and how I feel and react and how I spend my time. I have been living like I’m invincible and I am just now realizing that this is the only body I have and I have to take care of it. I am going to focus on being healthy mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I still don’t know what I believe, but I am going to unlearn being bitter about it all. I am open and listening and waiting and if God is real I hope He helps heal me.