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Have y’all read Crush recently? It’s a book of poems entirely written, inadvertantly, for Dean and Cas and it’s so beautiful. 

Almost every single poem has links to Dean and Cas, and it was published in 2005 - the same year SPN began - so honestly I don’t know who’s imitating who here. 

But like just look at this stuff: 

The poem Dirty Valentine -Castiel’s perspective, My Bloody Valentine

‘There are so many things I’m not allowed to tell you / I swallow your heart and you make me spit it up again / You swallow my heart and flee / Everything eating everything in the end.’ 

Little Beast - Castiel’s perspective, ‘I’ll just wait here then’

‘That’s a nice touch, stains in the night, whiskey and kisses for everyone / Tonight, by the freeway, a man eating fruit pie with a buckknight carves the likeness of his lover’s face into the motel wall / I’m sure you remember, I was on the phone with you, sweetheart / He had green eyes, I wanted to sleep with him / damn if there isn’t anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills / all I can do is stand on the curb and say ‘sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine.’

Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out - Castiel’s perspective 

(Castiel fighting Dean, trying to speak to Dean as an angel, stopping him from saying yes to Michael)

‘And the part where I push you flush against the wall and every part of your body rubs against the bricks, shut up, I’m getting to it / I make you pancakes, I take you hunting / Inside your head the sound of glass, a car crash as the trucks roll ove and explode in slow motion, Hello darling, sorry about that / I’m not really sure why I do it, but in this version you are not feeding yourself to a bad man / It all falls into frame, close enough to see the blue rings of my eyes.’ 

A Primer for the Small Weird Loves - For Castiel, Despair

‘So you say you want a deathbed scene, the knowledge that comes before knowledge, and you want it dirty and no one can ever figure out what you want and you won’t tell them / And you realise the one person in the world who loves you isn’t the one you thought it would be / And the boy who loves you the wrong way keeps weakening / You thought if you handed over your body, he’d do something interesting.’ 

Planet of Love - For Castiel, Despair

‘Imagine this, you’re driving, the sky’s bright / You’re going to die in your best friend’s arms / Someone’s pulling a gun and you’re jumping into the middle of it. You didn’t think it would feel this way.’ 

Wishbone - Dean & Castiel, Tombstone

‘I’m bleeding, i’m not just making conversation / It’s a Western, it’s a downright shoot-em-up / We made a graveyard out of the bone white afternoon / It’s another wrong-man-dies scenario and we keep doing it / I’m battling monsters, I’m pulling you out of burning buildings and you say ‘I’ll give you everything but you never come through’ / I’ll turn myself into a gun, because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own / Do you want to go home now? There’s a bottle of whiskey in the trunk of the Chevy and a dead man at our feet’. 

Driving, Not Washing - For Castiel

(Castiel rebelling against the angels, over and over, for Dean)

‘But angels are pouring out of the farmland, angels are swarming over the grassland, angels ripping from their little dens, arms swinging, wings aflutter, dropping their white hot bombs of love / They want you to love the whole damn world but you won’t, you want it all narrowed down to one fleshy man in the bath who knows what to do with his body, with his hands.’ 

You are Jeff - Castiel’s perspective

‘I will come back from the dead for you. This could be a city, this could be a graveyard / You’re in a car with a beautiful boy and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you / he reaches over and touches you and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.’ 

Snow and Dirty Rain - For Cas & Dean

‘My dragonfly, my black-eyed fire, the knives in the kitchen are singing for blood / we’ve read the back of the book, we know what’s going to happen / And then it’s gone. Makes you sad, all your friends are gone. Goodbye. Goodbye. No more tears. I would like to meet you all in Heaven / The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I’m alive, but mosters are always hungry, darling / I was trying to describe the kingdom but the letters kept smudging as I wrote them: the hunter’s heart, the hunter’s mouth, the trees and the trees.’ 

Addiitonal dean/cas coded poems not referenced here: 

The Torn Up Road 

Visible World - Dean’s grief for Cas

Road Music - Driver picks the music 

The Dislocated Room 

It’s their constantly switching perspectives of each other 

‘I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night Rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife‘

Cas being all rough and cold when Dean first meets him. But it’s also a pretty good war metaphor - the roughness, the ship on Omaha beach, Dean stumbling into Cas. 

‘And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face Lost in your current like a priceless wine’

Dean not knowing what the hell Cas’ deal is and if he even likes him, but he’s interested - he’s so interested in Cas. 

‘The more that you say | The less I know | Wherever you stray | I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand | Wreck my plans | That's my man’ 

Cas being so confused about Dean and how much he wants him. Changing his entire plan just to be with Dean, over and over again until he literally changes his entire life for Dean. He lets Dean wreck his plans to the point where he stops being Castiel and becomes Cas.

‘Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind (oh)’ 

The scene where Dean cuts Cas’ hair, and Cas is so in love with him. He thinks this: ‘All that he can think of is that moment when Dean, with care and with Joe Harvelle's scissors, had brushed his hand gently backwards through Castiel's hair, and everything in Castiel had drawn towards Dean like a willow to the water.’. 

It’s what made me make the connection in the first place. 

‘Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in | As if you were a mythical thing Like you were a trophy or a champion ring | And there was one prize I'd cheat to win’

‘Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark Show me the places where the others gave you scars’

All of their sneaking around and secret meet ups, and their fighting and the literal battle scene they find each other in. The physical scars they have from being in battle are constantly mentioned during the more romantic scenes, the bruises, the scar on Cas’ shoulder, the stitches on Dean’s head...

‘Guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait and switch was a work of art’

For so many chapters of 91W, Cas literally pulls a bait and switch on Dean. He tells him he wants him, then backs off, then wants him again and he’s so confused and messed up but Dean still comes back, and still thinks he’s incredible. 

‘You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow’

In the end, when Cas is going from train to train to get to Kansas to see Dean again, this line seems to poignant because Cas’ life literally is hollow. His big empty house, his empty life with no future, he has no friends and no family but getting the train to Dean’s life gives him a home. 

Between Charlie and the fairy in Moondor? 

Claire and Kaia had roughly three scenes together, with very little canonical queer text beyond (yet again) an after-comment from Jody. They never kissed. They never had sex. Honestly, I never even picked up on the romantic element of their relationship until Jody mentioned it. Their representation was awful. We don’t get closure for their story. 

Charlie and Stevie (who was in one solitary scene) might have come back to life? Maybe? Who knows? We don’t get closure for their story. 

We never saw either of the canonical gay couples on the show kiss. We don’t know what happened to them beyond Dean making his ‘wait, men can be masculine and gay’ surprised face. We don’t get closure for their story. 

Rowena’s confirmation of her bisexuality was cut. 

This show does not treat LGBTQIA characters well. It’s so afraid of stepping on toes that it negates the existence of a large portion of it’s fanbase. It could have done so much better, and done so much more. 

Yet we’ve seen both boys having graphic sexual encounters with women. We’ve seen women dressed up in collars, as strippers, as mothers and whores. We’ve literally even seen Dean hit on a female poodle. But god forbid we see an LGBTQIA couple share any moment of intimacy at all. 

Misha Collins shouldn’t be the one telling us that Cas is a queer character. 

Jared Padalecki shouldn’t be the one announcing Sam’s pronouns. 

If these are in the show, let them be in the show. Tell us in the episodes, for everyone to see, so that there can be no doubt about who and what they are. 

1. If, as Jared has said, Sam’s partner is open to interpretation...why bother putting her in a pink dress and a feminine wig? Why bother having her at all, if the focus was supposed to be on baby Dean? It seems like such a weird move to make - it’s like he’s seen the critism the show is getting for it’s lack of diversity and is just backtracking like crazy. It’s literally the JK Rowling/Dumbledore story where someone is trying imprint diversity onto a character after the story has ended, to avoid having to actually show any real representation in the canon text. 

2. Why the fuck would anyone want Jimmy Novak in Dean’s heaven. Why. What the hell. He’s literally already been shown in his own heaven with his wife, and shockingly, he and Dean never really seemed to have that much of a bond in that one episode they shared together where the brothers kidnapped him until Jimmy ran away from them. 

3. Samantha Ferris is an absolutely champion, so why wasn’t she invited into the finale? If they had cast members who were willing to go to the reunion, why waste them? Honestly some might have been better than none at this point. 

4. My boyfriend raised this one which is about the laws of new heaven, and if apparently Sam on earth can age and die in the space of Dean taking one drive to a bridge, then surely heaven should be littered with Winchester descendents arriving every 5 minutes? Why aren’t there lines of Winchesters just walking onto the bridge having lived and died in the space of 5 minutes in heaven? 

Before, it was easy to imagine that these incredible stories and comics and artworks could happen one day, that there might be room in the canon (even offscreen) for them to come true. 

But now, knowing that the show itself didn’t care about Cas or Dean or their relationship at all...it feels really cold and hollow.