Somewhere, in the distant reaches of space...

Any pronouns. Adult. Feel free to call me Mun/OP/Author. I don't care. Intermission fan. Multishipper. Ask me about my headcanons, or don't. More about me will be under the cut.

I have not read the epilogues as I am afraid of them, but I HAVE read all Homestuck and Homestuck Beyond Canon. (Which, I know, the epilogues are the prelude to beyond canon.) I have also not played through / read Friendsim or Hiveswap. However, my partner and others in my friend group have, and discuss it. I have formulated my own opinions around it.

I TAKE REQUESTS FOR ANYONE AND ANYTHING*, I WILL JUST DO THEM ON MY OWN TIME. Ships. Minor characters. Identity. Entirety of session members. Please specify the character(s). If you leave it vague, I will supplement my own headcanons on them. If requested prior, I will build off them. This blog uses typing quirks, usually untranslated, and custom colors. Please feel free to give criticism or feedback on any post, even if you didn’t request it.

*I am not comfortable writing incest-related anything. Find somewhere else for that. Nearly everything else is on the table. Anything else I refuse later on will be added to this post.

Includes : Alpha Kids, Beta Kids. Characters are adults, but not exactly HSBC. Strictly offline. No colors. Possibly screenreader friendly. SFW.

Pros : It’s not Hiveswap as you play as a kid (Joey Claire), You could not play his route, Writers got to do their freaky shit for fun and awoke smth in the masses

Cons: It’s required to get his good route in Friendsim, It happened with the fucking groomer of all characters (I suppose it couldn’t have been the kids though), I don’t think there’s like ANY warning for it, Makes everyone forget he flirted with kids bc he flirts with you too so it’s fine guys he does it with everyone =)

Including the moments where you watched him flirt with kids? Zebruh and Chixie? Zebruh “Who knows what they want at 15” Codakk? Chixie “somewhat older than the other trolls but still a kid” Roixmr? Yeah, I think he would let it happen.

In response to your Headcanon, this is the pin I was referring to.

listen to me. grabs your shoulders

His server is mixed ages, and he has both adults AND minors as moderation team. (“cause those kids stay online all the time aint got no job t worry about who else gon run this bitch 9 to 5ers lmfao”)

There’s a crazy amount of infighting within the casual users that the mods have to step in on. Usually the minor mods join in on the topic and whichever side they take is immediately right.

Behind the scenes, the adults and minors share a mod chat where they shit talk popular users, musicians, eachother, anyone. Marvus himself is in the server, but anonymously so he can’t be held liable for any of the actions. He still appoints the mods, even if he doesn’t own the server.

The issue is that the mods form cliques and start talking to eachother outside of the server. You can already imagine what’s going to happen. It becomes a breeding ground for groomers to have power over kids, using an idol as leverage. It’s fine and chill, Marvus would’ve stepped in if he thought it was weird, surely.

Any grooming allegations by former mods are quickly shot down, quite literally. Either by a rabid fan, or someone working with Marvus to keep this thing under wraps. Mods know he’s calling the shots and he doesn’t need that legal hassle.

Marvus himself seldom interacts with the mod chats other than to butt in with some nonsequitur, ask for advice he probably won’t take, send a selfie/preview/leak/announcement, and occasionally join the conversation. He’s known to hop on mod chat voice calls and just sorta lurk. Once caught an adult jerking off on call while minor staff was present and just started cracking jokes about it. No action was taken. He tends to encourage sexual jokes, regardless of who’s present.

He will occasionally DM the mod team photos of himself, exclusive information, and praise. Much more for the younger staff. “they need it more”, so he says. Really, he’s just cultivating a parasocial relationship knowingly to keep his engagement up.

- Marvus gets cancelled for being a child predator

- Zebruh and Chixie smoke a fat blunt together

- Zebruh hits on her and Chixie tells him to fuck off

- They part ways as… amicably… as they can

anyways if you think Zebruh is the “worst character in hiveswap” FUCK YOU HES FUCKING FIFTEEN THIS IS AS WOKE AS A HIGHBLOOD GETS HES A FUCKING KID GOD FORBID HE BE OFFPUTTING. GROW UP

Pitch Jake Headcanons

Gamzee x Reader NSFW

DirkJane (BIG FAN)

Commander Karkat reaction to Meat Karkat & Dave + Meat & Candy Roxys reactions to eachother

Gamzee x Fem Reader

IM SO SORRY ANON. IM SO SORRY. This was sent Sept. 30th :(

Eridan is unfamiliar with panic attacks conceptually. He's never really... needed to panic, just sort of attack. He doesn't get the word itself, and assumes it's something violent. Maybe it is.

All he knows is that when he sees you freaking out, his pusher drops. He's quick to get over to your side, hands hovering over you and not touching.

You're getting his coat. And his scarf. Maybe more scarves and coats. You must be cold? You're shaking, you might be cold. He's bundling you up with his own coat, that's for certain.

Only then does he even touch you, through his own coat. Just in case he'd be too cold against your skin. But it's hugs and leaning. He doesn't want to leave you alone. He only will if you ask him to.

If you're legible enough, he'll try to get you to explain how you're feeling. He doesn't understand why, and he needs to. Even if it doesn't make sense, he tries to reason you through it. If you're feeling in danger or unsafe, he immediately offers to be protection no matter the cost.

If it's overstimulation, he's more than happy just to share the same space without making much noise. He's too scared himself to leave you be, but he doesn't want to make anything worse. Happy to turn off the lights and open windows to clear out smells and take the coat off you if the texture feels bad.

Silent dissociation makes him antsy, and he'll try talking to you... and then at you. If it seems to work, he's glad to ramble on about virtually nothing. If it's not helping at all, he's glad to just exist in your general area in attempt to help.

If it isn't in person and more online, he'll start continuously messaging you. First trying to talk it out, but if you're not in the mood, he'll try distraction instead.

Regardless of how you panic- loud, quiet, completely still, all over- he doesn't want to leave you. He'll hang around as long as you need, and if you don't want him in the room, he's not going to go far either way.

Truthfully, he can be a little smothering. He wants this fixed as soon as possible because you're being vulnerable and that's terrifying. You're vulnerable and he can't be that and if you're that then you can get hurt and he doesn't WANT to hurt you, so he wants it over.

Btw love the writing!! Stay hydrated and sleep pleaseee

UM. WELL. I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING THAT *OR* WRITING. APOLOGIES. This was from Sept. 30th.

However, I HAD been drafting this mentally when I was writing the Pale Dave x Reader... bc I initially misread it as Davesprite... perhaps, he is winning in my mind...?

Listen. He is nesting. He is insisting he is not nesting. You look at it. It is a huddle of blankets and soft things you and him both fit perfectly in laying down together. There are entertainment devices and snacks within arms reach. It is a nest. You tell him it is a nest. He ruffles his feathers at you.

He WILL be preening you, okay? He doesn't know that's what he's doing, but if he spots a stray strand of hair on you, he's picking it off and then getting absorbed in getting your hair nice and neat and making sure your outfit is clean too. He'll say he doesn't want you to do it back, but if you play with his feathers, he's immediately a sucker for it. He'll look at you really sad if you stop.

He likes physical affection a LOT. He wants to hold onto you, wants to cling onto you like some little koala. He likes being able to touch you. He likes knowing you're real and not going anywhere.

He's not one to talk about his feelings- when he's mourning he either shuts down or deflects. But he's a good listener when you need it. Sometimes there's things he just can't joke about, and how other people feel is one of those times.

He takes the sword out of his chest before touching you, no matter what. He doesn't want to risk anything. Making you bleed, accidental or not, is unforgivable.

He's quite the talker when he's not downtrodden. He likes rambling about nonsense and it's hard to follow unless you've got ADHD to parallel his own. He likes spouting nonsense rhymes in the middle of his rants, and if you start rhyming with him, you can watch his wings flap slightly in excitement.

A lot of his body is a tell to how he's feeling, even if his face is relatively blank. He puffs up, he flutters, he twitches and jerks, his sprite tail waggles and sways. It's really funny when you can tell he's trying to impress you and his feathers poof around his neck.

do you write nsfw?

these r really good btw!! you're a p cool person!!

OHOHOH. Absolutely. This will be neat…

Nepeta is, naturally, a shipper. Dirk cannot help but enable her. The OTPS WILL be drawn, no matter how badly. Fujoshi 4 Himedanshi type relationship, in my mind.

Dirk tried to “organize” “natural interactions” between the OTPs of real people so he can Nepeta could giggle and gossip over it. The thing is that somebody got wiser and realized what he was doing and told him to cut it out. He tries a lot more subtly, but nobody really trusts him as soon as he starts taking restaurants and 3 person movie nights between strangers.

Little Seb is terrorized often. Nepeta has scars on her face from pouncing onto him and strifing.

Dirk has scars on his face and back from Nepeta.

I just saw a lizard, so I’d like to add that Dirk just grabs whatever random animal or he sees in the wild to bring to her for approval. She is flattered but oftentimes just eats it from his hand. Perhaps like… a horse…?

They argue over AppleDash (Nepeta) or RariJack (Dirk). He refuses to admit that AppleDash is canon.

Back to scars- Dirk has plenty on his arms from Nepeta. She likes to knead on him with her gloves on, which will slightly draw out those sharp claws. He says absolutely nothing about it. Has lead to some bloody accidents when either is startled.

Dirk is not allowed to sleep while awake. The second he starts to stall or stand in place for a bit too long, Nepeta starts swatting at him. STOP DISSOCIATING.

Dirk likes hunting with her. A lot. The issue is that he tried to make it efficient and ends up usually over-hunting. As soon as the population starts to dwindle, he starts making robots for them to hunt instead until the ecosystem balances again and he can repeat this, feeling worse every time.

Fan art for eachother rather frequently.

alsoalso, i really love your blog!!! kisses!!!

boots and cats and boots and cats and

Dave turns to you when in an art block. He won’t TELL you he’s in one, but you’ll know. He starts random and winding conversations about nothing and nonsensical. You’re his muse. It’s weird and sappy and he doesn’t want to say it, but it’s true.

His room is his nest. Bird pun intended. He loves chilling on the bed and wrapping himself in the blankets. You get wrapped in too. Pillow forts are also floated around. Sleepover, buddy. Pajama shit. Snug as bugs in rugs.

He draws doodles of you. Usually they’re shitty. On purpose. But if you look through his things, you’ll find genuine attempts at a portrait of you.

He spills his guts a lot. On accident. There’s a lot always on his mind. PTSD never hides itself fully. He’s easily shaken and he doesn’t know why. There’s nobody he can really trust except you, and being afraid is his deepest shame. He’s scared, and you’re the only person he can turn to. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling, but you say the right words and that’s what he needs.

He pretends not to care about your advice, but it’s clear he takes it to heart. He asks you for input on anything he creates and brushes it off as a joke, and yet you still see the edits you make.

He’s big into cuddling and rambling to talk about feelings. You can dump everything onto him and he’ll listen- but get ready for his own suggestions afterward. He wants to help as best he can. And if he can’t, he’ll cheer you up.

Play games? Play games with him? Tony Hawk? Two player please? You’re like an other half, he wants to prove drift compatibility.

Hoohhh wow. Okay. I’m glad you know what you like! You’ve basically written out an entire imagine, so I’ll have to do one better. Certainly something to build off of though! Ahem…

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

The hive is always cold. Too cold. He can’t feel it, you’ve asked him to turn it down over and over but he always forgets. It’s hardy like his usual outfits do him any favors either, being light and loose. It’s only natural for a coldblood to want to stay cold. So while he’s out in his living room- which you can hear, because he’s stepping on horns and scaring himself all the while- looking for something to watch, you dig through his closet.

He’s got a lot of clothes you’ve never seen before, sweaters and tank tops and jerseys and hoods and robes. Psychopathic records, some of his juggalo cult things… but some of the clothes are nice and plain as well. Maybe you’ll be able to steal some of those without him noticing? You find a nice, heavy hoodie, purple and black colors. There’s a symbol of the back of a man running with a some of cleaver, which means rather little you.

When you slip it over your head, you have to shake hair out of you eyes. It’s warm. This is what you needed. The thing is the size. The very bottom reaches your knees. The sleeves entirely engulf your hands. There’s no way you can take it from Gamzee without him noticing it belongs to him, but surely just a little warming up won’t hurt? Just a little longer…

“ Hey, babe, check it, I found a horn that doesn’t…” Gamzee stops in the door. “ … work…”

The horn in his hand hits the ground with a dismal honk-squeal. He doesn’t jump this time, eyes focused on you. They slide downward, then right back upward. His words sort of die in this throat.

“ … Do you like it?”

He honk-hiccups. “ Nnno.”

“ You don’t?”

“ Nooo! Nooooooo! That’s mine!” He doesn’t sound hurt, but…

“ What’s wrong?”

“ My vestments… oh, baby, my sacred vestments…”

“ This is a hoodie.”

“ Of only the most wicked motherfucker to run with a hatchet!”

“ Why wasn’t it with your church things then?”

“ ‘Cause I didn’t think- aaaughk!”

He dramatically leans over to clutch his chest, letting his hair drop into his face.

“ Gamz…”

He whines as he looks up at you. “ Sacrilege… sacrilege to the highest degree…”

You laugh and step forward, pulling his hands from his chest into your own. “ Sweetheart… I’m just cold.”

“ Can’t I warm you up?”

“ Babes, you’re naturally cold. I don’t know if you can.”

“ Let me tryyy! Let me try, c’mon, let’s go to the couch.”

He pulls you out to the couch, careful to step over his horns. You both gladly sit next to eachother, and you lean against him. He puts the show he’s decided on- something sappy. He’s probably seen it several times over, and you vaguely remember seeing it once. Still, yku settle in for the ride.

… He doesn’t. He keeps looking between the screen and to you. How the sleeves cover your hands, how it drapes over your body. You can tell, his swath of hair keeps moving back and forth.

“ … Do you even want to watch this?”

“ Huh-? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“ You’re not.”

He giggles a little, leaning against you. You lean back.

“ Maybe I like looking! Doesn’t hurt to look.”

“ I thought you didn’t like me wearing this.”

He quiets before he pulls your head into his chest. You don’t argue, and instead nuzzle in.

“ You’re so small compared to me, you know that? I like it. I like it lots…”

“ Uh-huh. I figured.”

Gamzee chuckles a little, running a finger through your hair and twirling stray strands.

“ … And I like you in my clothes too. I get to look at you and think… you’re mine. And I want other people to think that too. I want everyone to think that too.”

“ Well… I do like your closet. Maybe I can…?”

“ … I want you to wear my things more. I wanna see you in my shirts. My jackets. My pants, my boxers… I want you in my skin. In my chest, nested in my ribs…”

“ … Gamz.”

“ I do. I want to feel you in me. I want you intertwined with me. On every level.”

His gaze is… intense. Much more than before.

“ I wanna make sure they could never pull us apart and untangle us even if they tried to.”

“ Nobody’s going to pull us apart, Gamz. It’s okay.”

You watch as his gaze softens as he looks at you.

“ You promise?”