why does my heart feel so dormant

stay alive not because your mother will never stop crying but because you can look up at the sky on a sunny day and see the clouds moving by and you’ll take a moment to wonder if it is because the earth is spinning or because the wind is blowing stay alive so you can answer that question stay alive so you can ask someone else that question, then wow them by knowing the answer or be wowed that they already knew it as well stay alive because you’re never too old to look up at the sky and see figures in the shapes of clouds a cumulonimbus that looks like a dog will never fail to make you smile stay alive not because your father will blame himself for the loss of his baby but because your favorite band might come out with a new song or your favorite show might get renewed for a new season or your favorite person might like your tweet on twitter stay alive because the future is unclear and that may seem terrifying, not knowing what’s to come, but it’s worth taking that chance gambling is never a safe bet but the house always wins and you, my dear, are the house stay alive not because your best friend will never forgive themselves for losing you but because of the feeling you get when you do see your best friend that calmness, that peace, that happiness – that feeling is genuine happiness and yes, you are capable of experiencing it you’re allowed to experience it you’re allowed to be happy stay alive because you’re allowed to be happy and there are countless reasons to feel that joy radiate like sunbeams like licking melted ice cream off of your hand as it drips from the cone or the way the world slowly changes from green to orange in autumn or seeing the first snowfall of winter or that first sip of a hot beverage when you’re absolutely freezing or wearing your favorite underwear or finally seeing the Big Dipper at night or the perfect amount of Parmesan cheese on top of your pasta or your pet crawling into your lap stay alive because at least one of those things make you happy and you should experience it one more time stay alive not because i’ll miss you but because one day life will feel the way a brand new notebook feels - intimidating, but exciting and more importantly, a fresh start stay alive because you deserve to be around for that fresh start