U N A P O L O G E T I C

I’ll sit and pretend I know someone at an intimate depth It only makes me feel like shit in the end Because you’re only as good as the people you consider your friends So watch an aching past surface, and now I’m half certain That everyone who associates with me’s a bad person Because everyone who associates with me is as worthless  Now I finally understand what it means to lack courage And at the end of the day it just defeats the damn purpose To share the fruit of your knowledge while completely malnourished So I’ve been trying to let go of the things that torture me inside Congratulations, you’re cordially invited To a small list of things that I normally would hide Like high school, no comprehension of enough harm Codeine for numb hearts and patching up cut arms But drinking cough syrup when you didn’t have a cough Is ironic, because in reality you’re sicker than you thought But like hearing new music and being too scared to turn it up Virgin blood mostly told me to stop at the surface cuts And sometimes I wouldn’t eat more than a couple bites And sometimes I’d go a week and not sleep more than a couple nights And sometimes I’d get so wrapped up in the “couple life” When the “couple life” failed me the first couple times But I am grateful that it seems stupid, and I’m grateful that I miss you Because the past two years are something I’m glad I had to sit through Because now that I know what it means to be dead I can start living again Now that I know what it means to be dead I can start living I can smell it when I breathe I can feel it when you leave I can start living again So I’m leaving behind the people who said I wasn’t brave enough Wrote an album called “sleep” and realized it’s about waking up…