I know you - Spencer Reid
(I knew it, I knew you)
╰summary: Spencer has a terrible crush on you. In you, he finally found a person he doesn't have to explain himself to. So, naturally, he doesn't plan on ever telling you about his feelings. ╰pairing: Spencer x reader ╰Warnings: Spencer being the absolute cutie that he is, talks of never fitting in anywhere, some kind of spicy thought Spencer has about reader, cute confessions, they are so in love ╰word count: 1.6k Somehow I feel like I have written this hundreds of times but again, I have a new hyper fixation. I'm sorry. Requests for Steve and Eddie are still open though !! I won't forget about my husband!! જ⁀➴Masterlist
For all his life, Spencer had the feeling the people around him did not really understand him. Not in the literal sense of course. Spencer was more than willing and able to word what he was thinking. So, naturally, he explained himself. Over and over and over. In great detail.
The teenagers in school mocked him for it, his colleagues rolled their eyes at his seemingly never ending stream of thoughts. It was hard for him to clearly grasp why. They did not understand the essence of what he was saying, but when he tried to make himself clear, it was wrong, as well?
So he accepted his fate. That he would always seem kind of special to the outside world. That there was no one who would ever truly be able to 'finish his sentence' or as the saying goes. He had never really understood that saying, anyways. It wasn't neurobiologically possible to read another's person's thoughts.
Still, it was a lonely way of living sometimes, feeling as though he was constantly speaking in another tongue than the rest of there world.
That was, until you stepped into his life.
It did not take Spencer long to develop a crush on you. Well, that was an understatement. It took him merely a day to be completely and utterly smitten for you.
But Spencer, despite being somewhat awkward concerning the whole dating business, was not new to having crushes.
He knew they would pass. Knew that he would grow accustomed to having you around, to noticing every little detail about you and someday not being as endeared by them as he was right now.
The surrounding sounds on the plane were doing nothing to distract him from looking at you, sitting across from him, one arm tucked safely under your chin, eyes closed, having drifted off to a deep sleep.
His eyes trailed your face, the way your brows were slightly knitted together, no doubt still thinking about the case the team had just finished. Your eyelids were fluttering in the slightest way, and your lips were pressed together, jaw still tightly clenched from the stress of it all.
''Other people can notice you staring, you know?'', Morgan whispered into Spencer's ear, making him jump and finally tearing his gaze from you.
''I'm not,'', he mumbled, the lie leaving his lips effortlessly. He could feel the skin of his cheeks heating up as Derek chuckled beside him.
''Why don't you finally talk to her, huh?'', Morgan pressed.
Spencer was close to rolling his eyes at his colleague. Of course he had thought about it. But he had discarded the idea just as quickly. He was not going to risk loosing what he had found in you just because he had a crush on you.
Over the weeks and months he had gotten to know you, and likewise, he had slowly but surely noticed what was so different about you.
You didn't treat him like everybody else did. You didn't shake your head, roll your eyes, or sigh when he rambled and explained something. No. Instead, your eyes never left his while he talked, and you nodded along no matter how long it took him to get his point across properly.
At first, he thought it was out of mere politeness.
But then he noticed.
Whatever he was trying to demonstrate, you could somehow grasp before everyone else. You understood him so well it was almost like you could read his mind sometimes.
He was baffled at first, but then his heart swelled and his chest felt warm. Spencer had never known what it felt like to have someone understand him, to really get him without it being his effort.
So, no, his crush on you was anything but fleeting. It was beginning to look permanent, and was strengthened by every interaction the two of you have had ever since.
''I don't know what you're talking about,'', Spencer mumbled again, fiddling with the pages of the book in his hand.
''Look, kid. I'm being honest here when I tell you not to downplay yourself like you so often tend to do. I really think she's interested, too.''
The sentence hung heavily in the air, and should it follow the law of physics, Spence thought, it should sink to the ground of the plane and right through it.
He knew Morgan meant well, he really did. But how could he risk losing the one person he felt a real connection with for something as mundane as having a crush?
Of course, deep down, Spencer knew it had begun to flourish into much more than a crush, but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet.
The plane landed not much later and the team shuffled, stretched, and collected their belongings, while you were still fast asleep. Spencer hesitated, but then stood up and lightly touched your arm. Nothing.
He touched your arm again, lightly shaking you. ''Hey,'' he said softly, which made your eyes flutter open. You squinted against the sudden light and stretched your arms before meeting Spencer's gaze. Upon seeing him, a genuine, eye-reaching smile was spread on your face.
''Hi, Spence,'', you grinned, and if he could, he would have suppressed any physiological reaction your face was causing him. But he couldn't. So his heart rate sped up, and his fingers somehow seemed immediately clammy.
He blinked and cleared his throat, willing his eyes to look away from your frame, but losing the battle against his own body. ''Walk me to my car?'', you asked, faking a pout you didn't have to. He would do anything before you had even asked the question.
''Of course.''
You collected your bag and with the rest of the team having already departed, it was only Spencer and you on the plane. Spencer felt his arm being intertwined with yours and for a second the irrational (though very small) part of his brain took control and he thought his heart would stop beating.
It didn't, of course.
Spencer wasn't one for physical touches. Everyone knew that. But, as you seemed to know what he was thinking, you also seemed to know what kind of physicality would be okay for him.
This was. In fact, this was more than okay. For the first time in his life, this touch made him crave even more. He wanted to feel your touch everywhere-
He shook his head. What has gotten into him all of a sudden? This was not like the parts of his personality he knew so well, at all.
''Did you sleep at all?'', you asked as you departed the plane arm in arm, to which he shook his head. ''Did I sleep the whole time?'', you asked. ''Most of the time, yeah.''
''Oh god, I drooled again, didn't I?'
A smile crept onto Spencer's lips, and you groaned in reply. ''I don't know why this keeps happening to me, like is there something wrong with my jaw?''
Nothing in the world could stop Spencer from smiling at this point. The two of you had reached your car and you were leaning against the passenger's door, looking up at him with doe eyes.
''No, no,'', he began. ''You looked....beautiful,'', his eyebrows knit as he brought the word out, not being able to hold your gaze and looking away.
You fell silent, and he desperately waited for a witty joke in reply. Instead, he felt the soft touch of your hand on his chin, turning him so he was looking at you again. Your hand was cold and it took everything in him not to rub your hands in between his.
Spencer could not quite read your expression. You seemed troubled, but not mad at him. That was good, right? Oh, but maybe that's where the rejection would come in.
''Spencer,'', you began, but it was hard for him to keep his gaze locked on yours, hard for him to hear what he had feared for so long.
''Spence, look at me, please,'', with your voice this low, you almost sounded like you begged, and this was what got him to look at you. He would never let you beg. For anything.
''Don't you know me well enough to know you don't have to walk on eggshells around me?'', you asked, to which confusion crossed his features.
Your hand cupped around his cheek and for a touch so foreign, it somehow felt like home to him. For the first time since he complimented you, he exhaled and closed his eyes.
''I know you, Spence. And you know me. You don't have to be worried. Never with me, okay? Never with me,'', you whispered, calming him down.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked at you. He saw the beautiful face he was slowly falling in love with, and he saw the soft, genuine smile still placed on your lips.
''What does that mean?'', he asked, somehow breathless in fear of the answer.
''It means that I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling the exact same way.'', you clarified, and Spencer's body reacted to this statement as it normally only should in answer to a gun held to his head.
And then, without thinking about it, which has never happened for Spencer, he pulled you in and captured your lips in a kiss. The kiss was hungry and all the while filled with to much appreciation and gratitude.
Your lips met again and again in heated kisses until a throaty moan escaped Spencer's mouth and he pulled back. He was about to apologize, but you stopped him.
''Spence,'', you chuckled. ''It's okay. Remember what I told you? I can promise you I feel the exact same way,'' It felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from Spencer's chest, and he smiled at you before pressing his lips softly against your forehead.
